Episode 18.8
July 28

Chico: Hey, all! I'm Chico Alexander... and this show is brought to you by the number 21.
Jason: (cue lightning and bats)
Gordon: It's Count Chic-ula.
Chico: AH HA HA HA HA!
Gordon: Is that the 21 Flu, which everyone wants to Catch?
Jason: Or the "21" DVD which is out this week?
Chico: Or Charles Van Doren... who was on 21...
Gordon: Or the 21 bottles of tequila that will be used for the next season of High Stakes Poker?
Jason: Those were drunk by GSN who lost WPT to FSN.
Chico: Whatever it is... It can only mean one thing... good times.
Don: Let the good times roll!
Chico: Yes. From Somewhere in America, the "The Number 21" edition of WLTI... is... ON!
Gordon: Gordon and Chico here, along with our special guests. First up, the media ho who we will be seeing on Catch 21, Mr. Jason Block.
Jason: Thank you. Pleasure to be here as always.
Chico: Next up, a guy who can play a bit of 21 himself... Mr. Don Harpwood...
Don: If only I could get good cards more often.
Chico: Too many 15s?
Gordon: And finally, someone who is more than 21 minutes away from watching a really dreadful baseball team in Seattle, Mr. Robert Seidelman.
Rob: Thankfully, I am more than 21 minutes away, but their stench reaches the entire Pacific Northwest.
Chico: The stench has been looming over Mt. Rainier since Junior left town. So I've heard.
Rob: No, it was whenever Lou Pinella left. 2001 was our last good year, and they couldn't get it done.
Jason: 115 games...and who did they lose to? :)
Rob: The team that lost to the lowly Arizona Diamondbacks.
Gordon: Touche'. This is starting to sound like a High School conversation, which is only appropriate because we start the show with a review of High School Musical.
Jason: I didn't see it...did I miss much?
Chico: Not really. You remember The One?
Rob: Sadly.
Chico: You remember Star Search?
Jason: Unfortunately.
Don: Oh, I remember that dreck.
Jason: Yes.
Chico: You remember Fame?
Gordon: I do, I had to recap it.
Chico: So do I.
Gordon: If you like retreads of something that looks like American Idol but plays more like Fame, you missed a lot.
Rob: Debbie Allen doesn't even want to remember the reality show.
Chico: *rimshot*
Gordon: I will say one thing about Fame. We did get finalist Shannon Bex, who is now one of the singers in the group Danity Kane. We also got Harlemm Lee, who is soon eligible for his Social Security paychecks.
Chico: Anyway, imagine something like the One... only with the High School Musical name. And Nick Lachey, not to be outdone by his brother, is hosting. Now... Let's do some game show math here... High School Musical: Get in the Picture... minus High School Musical... equals... American Idol.
Jason: Pretty much.
Rob: Except aimed to the pre-teen demographic.
Chico: This is another long line of retreads that tries to capitalize on two phenomena and fails at both attempts.
Gordon: By the way, do you know what the winner gets?
Chico: Yes I do.
Gordon: Is it a major role in a movie?
Jason: No.
Gordon: Is it a deal worth millions?
Jason: Nope.
Rob: No.
Chico: Nope.
Gordon: So they are competing for...?
Jason: A contract to be in the video at the end of the High School Musical 3 movie...
Gordon: The winner gets...SCREEN TIME IN A (BLEEP)ING FIVE MINUTE VIDEO? We're spending our whole summer figuring out who gets to be in a 5 minute video? Are you (bleep)ing kidding me?
Chico: And a talent deal with Disney. Even beefed up, the prize is still kinda lame.
Rob: I think the powers that be placed it on the wrong network.
Chico: Do people like you and me care who the next Vanessa Hudgens is? Or the next Demi Lovato, or the next Selena Gomez? or heaven forbid, the next Miley Cyrus is?

	HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL: GET IN THE PICTURE! - ABC
	CHAIRMAN	HATERADE	THE BLOCK	DOUGHNUT	SIGMA	AVERAGE-O-MATIC
	F	D-*	NO GRADE	NO GRADE	F	F

Gordon: The formula works. Nothing else does. D-.
Rob: I don't.
Chico: Yeah. The formula works, because the show that originated the formula works. This... Doesn't. F.
Jason: I didn't see it.
Don: I didn't see the show, but just hearing about it makes me want to flunk it.
Chico: Well, Don, unfortunately you can't =p
Gordon: I can't fail it outright. Nick Lachey is not terrible. We haven't gotten to the judges yet, so I can't grill them.
Jason: But the ratings proved one thing...if it didn't have the original people in it...the kiddies wont care.
Chico: True.
Rob: If the show was on Disney Channel, I could see it going the entire season, but this will be stopgapped quickly with something miles better. But alas, it's another AI clone, and I hate AI. This show is rated F for Failure.
Chico: People don't want to see "a show about High School Musical". They want to see "High School Musical." Much like if people wanted a reality show about football, they'd watch football. And hence, why it placed dead last in both of its time slots (for intents and purposes, I don't count what was on CW at the time).
Gordon: It's a clone. I can't fail it until we get to the actual live performances. We can come back to it when when we get there, so I'll bail it out from an Epic Fail just to be fair. D-. But I have the right to fail it after we see the live shows.
Chico: I will afford you the use of the asterisk, Gordon.
Gordon: Ok then. D-* That is...if we get to the live shows. Keep in mind that ABC has already pulled the plug on one musical reality competition in the form of The One.
Chico: Oh yeah.
Jason: Wasn't it after ONE show?
Chico: Two weeks. Four shows.
Rob: I doubt it goes to the live shows. It gets pulled before that happens.
Gordon: I don't see it getting destroyed. I do see it moving to the ABC Family Channel or the Disney Channel, which is where is probably should have gone in the first place. It would have been a hit on the Disney Channel, because that's where the audience is.
Chico: Probably yeah. It's not ready for the big time.
Jason: Watching Camp Rock for the 50th time.
Chico: I gave up on the Disney Channel after Kids Inc. was cancelled (if that doesn't show my age...)
Jason: Hello Staci Ferguson :)
Chico: I hear tell she's a famous singer/rapper now.
Jason: Somewhat. Mildly successful So is this guy Mario Lopez.
Gordon: If musicals aren't your fare, how's about celebrities who bet on things?
Jason: Nein.
Chico: Umm.. no thanks. But for our purposes, let's go over Wanna Bet...
Gordon: ABC (funny how we mention them again) gives us another new show called Wanna Bet?
Jason: This reeks of filler.
Chico: Four celebrities bet on ordinary people doing extraordinary things... and the one with the most money at the end wins it for charity. And it's hosted by Ant & Dec.
Gordon: And it could be more like Wanna Bet that this show doesn't get out of July intact?
Jason: Do you really need to see Tom Green again?
Gordon: The Good:....anyone have anything good about this?
Chico: This is one of those "decent enough hosts, crappy games" games.
Gordon: You call Ant and Dec decent?
Chico: Hey... They get a lot of work, okay? You don't get a lot of work not being good.
Gordon: Pat Bullard gets a lot of work, too.
Chico: He's a good WRITER.
Gordon: Mike Fleiss gets a TON of work.
Chico: Let's not go there, shall we?
Gordon: Ah ha!
Don: lol
Jason: He Gotcha, C.
Chico: Because his audience is dumb... and will watch anything.
Gordon: And on a side note, if you want your show to last more than 3 episodes, do NOT get George Takei on your show. George Takei is the new reality show kiss of death.
Chico: or Harland Williams. He can't play the game for beans.
Gordon: George was one of the people on Secret Talent of the Stars. How many episodes did that last again?
Jason: 1
Chico: One and done.
Gordon: Can I have a Big Bored please?
Chico: Okey doke..

Gordon: We've done a number of these before, so it's time to go back to this: Anatomy of a Disaster. 1. Bad Premise. Can the people do these things. How many people didn't accomplish what they said they would do?
Chico: Hmm.. Let me remember... The CD licking guy did his thing. The movers did their things... The hula hoop guy... didn't. And the pit crew... did. So that would be 1. 1 out of 4.
Gordon: Was any of these things something that you were actually impressed with?
Chico: I can understand how some would be impressed by the pit crew (being located near Thunder Road and all)... But me... no.
Gordon: More specifically, would you actually tune in to see these people do these things?
Chico: No.
Jason: Not at all. I didn't.
Rob: No.
Don: I wish I didn't, frankly.
Rob: I was watching something with more substance.
Chico: Grass growing, Rob?
Jason: Paint drying.
Rob: Pro Wrestling.
Gordon: Rob, you could have been watching Jamie Moyer's belly button lint. That would have had more substance.
Jason: Burn.
Don: Ouch.
Gordon: #2. Pacing. How many acts did we have in an hour?
Chico: Four.
Rob: 4 from the recap
Don: Not enough. I thought I was going to fall asleep at times.
Jason: That's S...L...O...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Chico: Leave it to those pesky breaks to slow things down.
Gordon: I saw the show. You could have easily had 7-8.
Rob: Quite easily.
Gordon: #3. The Hosting. Ant and Dec have just hosted their way out of replacing Ryan Seacrest on American Idol. The role of the hosts is to keep you entertained. I was not entertained at all.
Chico: Personally, I didn't even think they were in the running to start with. Because, again... Seacrest was talking of getting on the road last week on AT40. So again... moot point.
Jason: He is ready for Season 8.
Chico: And if I can contribute to this anatomy here...
Gordon: Let's. #3. The Stars.
Chico:     The stars weren't of much help either. Harland Williams couldn't play. George Takei was the kiss of death.
Gordon: Harland Williams was awful. George Takei...was George Takei. I was pining for him to sing country music again, which would have made this show better.
Rob: Any good show would find celebs to play the game that will care about the game. It seems to me that this show, didn't.
Chico: It's a sad state when the serious person there... is Tom Green. Tom Green, singing the praises of his testicular cancer, Tom Green.
Jason: Ex hubby of Drew Barrymore, Tom Green.
Chico: tomgreen.com Tom Green.

	WANNA BET? - ABC
	CHAIRMAN	HATERADE	THE BLOCK	DOUGHNUT	SIGMA	AVERAGE-O-MATIC
	F	F	NO GRADE	NO GRADE	F	F

Gordon: So bad hosting, bad show, bad celebrities = Bad. F.
Jason: Didn't see it...but I wish I could flunk it.
Don: I saw it. I can't take another hour of it. F.
Rob: Same boat as Jason here, I was busy watching WWE Raw.
Chico: Sorry, Ant. Sorry, Dec. Maybe next time. F.
Gordon: Is it at Epic Fail status?
Chico: It would be... If J and Rob watched it. =p
Gordon: Boooo, Jay and Rob
Jason: Look, I had better things to do with my time...like watch an WNBA brawl.
Chico: Which brings us to the best debut this week by default... Catch 21.
Jason: Yay!
Chico: If you've seen Gambit, you've seen Catch 21.
Jason: Pretty much.
Chico: The object is simply... to Catch 21. It's another blackjack-based game show, and you pretty much have a template for those.
Jason: I liked the show. (and believe it or not I am going to give it an unbiased review).
Chico: The good... strategy once again married with luck and knowledge.
Jason: But there are some problems with it.
Chico: Of course it's not without fault, though.
Rob: The main one is the Host.
Chico: One big glaring fault, though... yeah, him, Rob.
Jason: exactly.
Rob: Alfonso Ribeiro has officially replaced Dylan Lane in my eyes as the worst host GSN has put on the air.
Jason: Hold on Rob...back that train up.
Chico: I've said this before of the plight of the game show host.... Looks easy... Isn't.
Jason: He isn't that BAD. But he is TRYING too hard.
Chico: He keeps the game going, but that's ... yeah, what J said. He's keeping the game going, but any host can do that. He's yet to find a style suited to him.
Rob: Alfonso comes off as a total fake.
Jason: He should let himself go and let it flow organically.
Chico: True and true. There's not taking the job seriously, and then there's taking the job TOO seriously. You can't take the job too seriously.
Jason: You have to find a balance.
Rob: I must say that aside from Alfonso, the show is actually pretty good. Intriguing format, love the Ceasars Challenge-esque questions they use.
Chico: The game itself remains untouched from the mind of Merrill Heatter, and that's a good thing.
Rob: And the money they shell out is decent enough.
Jason: The questions are WAY TOO EASY for a show like this. It made the questions on Starface look hard.
Chico: The questions on Starface were hard... to untrained un-pop minds. =p Anyway, let's get to the grades... The host needs work finding himself. The game remains untouched through time...

	CATCH 21 - GSN
	CHAIRMAN	HATERADE	THE BLOCK	DOUGHNUT	SIGMA	AVERAGE-O-MATIC
	B-	C	B-	B-	C-	C+

Jason: Host is ok, questions too easy...but the show is very old school...and in this day and age is very good. B-. With a lot of room for improvement.
Chico: It's a B-... with potential.
Rob: I will say this, the set, music, gameplay and card dealer are fine, but Alfonso just kills it for me.
Chico: The card dealer is ESPECIALLY fine :-)
Jason: She ain't bad looking close up.
Chico: Oh, and it's a game that everyone can watch and play along with.
Jason: Yes. That factor is big. My dad and I watched it and he got it within 2 minutes.
Don: Host aside, I like the show. I could certainly see things getting better in time, but even now, I'd say it's worth watching. B-.
Rob: I hate Alfonso, and he just ruins it all. I am giving it a C-
Gordon: ...I get to play the villain now, don't I?
Chico: Gordon... noticeably silent during the whole thing...
Don: Oh, boy...
Chico: That's never a good sign.
Gordon: No it isn't. And I have many more problems besides Alonzo, who I agree is trying way too hard. For starters, the points mean nothing. For all intents and purposes, whoever doesn't win a round in the first 2 rounds is out of the competition.
Rob: Yes. That's my 2nd bone of contention.
Chico: Unless you win both hands. Then the second spot goes to whoever answered the most questions.
Gorodn: But the points are still meaningless. The points aren't even money. Make it worth SOMEthing. Plus in the second round, in 3 of the 5 shows, the person in third was eliminated quickly, which made the rest of the round completely meaningless. No suspense except who was playing for a Burger King Power Chip. Oooh.
Rob: They should have done this show like Top Card.
Gordon: I agree with Rob. It should have been like Top Card. Simple solution. The person who wins the first hand sits out Round 2.
Rob: Win round 1, advance to round 3.
Chico: Another fine blackjack game (until that dreadful Dan Miller season).
Jason: I agree with on this one as well.
Gordon: Or make the points mean something - like money.
Jason: Like what--a prize? a dollar a point?
Chico: I'd like that.
Don: Same here.
Jason: Plus the $1,000 for winning the game.
Rob: I really hate the way any show used the power chip. "You can have it your way with the burger king power chip".
Jason: I'll take that one with extra tomatoes. With Kraft Real Mayo(tm).
Gordon: As for the Bonus Round...people have no clue how to play the bonus round.
Chico: ... no. No they don't. Though I'm sure one person will over the course of the 40 show season.
Rob: It's the only time where Blackjack knowledge matters.
Gordon: Kids, here's how you play it.
Jason: (taking notes)
Gordon: You do NOT stack the 2 face cards next to each other.
Jason: How do you mean?
Gordon: If you have a 10 as a base card, the objective is to get to 11.
Jason: Yes :)
Chico: Correct.
Rob: (ding)
Don: Yep.
Gordon: You can't power chip away the small cards. You get the small cards and get to 12/13/14, etc. and hope for a big card. You don't get rid of 6's and 7's - you need those, because you can't hope that you'll get 3 out of the 4 aces from the deck. Four of the 5 games, the player, if they played it properly, would have walked out with more money than what they did.
Rob: Yes.
Chico: That's not the fault of the game, though.. That's the fault of the player.
Jason: Correct.
Gordon: If you seriously are going to audition for the show, play the bonus game at home and learn how to play it. Get a deck of cards and play it out. Many times.
Jason: Because there will be a second season of this.
Chico: Oh yeah. It's cheap. It's easy.
Gordon: One thing I will say about the Bonus Round - putting up one card up in each slot to begin with really hurts the players chances of winning the $25,000. It is MUCH easier to win it when you get complete control - and that plays against the game.
Jason: That's a budgetary constraint.
Chico: And against a network that needs to have such constraints. You heard me.
Jason: If the show gave away $25,000 every show...that's $1,000,000. Too big for a GSN style budget.
Gordon: But if that's the issue, then make it $1,000, $5,000, $10,000. Or $1,000, $2,500, $5,000. But don't shortcut a game because of a budget. If you gave $1 a point for the win and $5,000 max, you'd give out less money and have a better show.
Jason: Maybe.
Gordon: Of course, if I was in charge, I'd go with that budget and have returning champions.
Jason: True there.
Rob: right.
Chico: Yeah, but you know GSN. They NEVER have returning champions no matter how much sense it makes.
Gordon: 5 day champ and you could walk off with over $35,000 in 5 days.
Jason: Right.
Gordon: So it's not an awful game, and it will get a second season, but there's a lot of bugs that need to be tweaked out. And Alfonso I think has the potential to be a good host - but he does kill the game.
Chico: He's a cooler. Call him what he is... He's a cooler.
Jason: ROFL
Gordon: He tries way too hard and he needs to be a channeler and go through the game. Host rule #1: The host channels the game, not the other way around. Show: C. Alfonzo: D-. Because as I agree with Rob that Alfonzo kills the game, I dont think the game itself is below average, so I'll grade them separately. So Rob, how would you grade them if you separated them?
Rob: Simple. Show: C+. Alfonso: F
Jason: Damn.
Chico: Be kind, man. =p
Jason: He isn't THAT bad. He just tries to hard.
Rob: Anybody who wants me to like Dylan Lane deserves that F.
Gordon: I was this close to joining Rob with an F, but I think Alfonso, if he gets season 2, can do better.
Chico: Do you think he'll get to season 25?
Rob: No.
Chico: Neither do I, but that's what we call... a transition :-)
Jason: Yes it does.
Chico: Jeopardy! just ended season 24... and Mark was defending his title for the fifth time. Does he win? ... No.
Gordon: Waa Waaaaaaa
Chico: This was one of those games that was decided before the final. He just fell apart in Double Jeopardy!. And it would've taken the fates smiling ear to ear for him to come out on top. But, and I believe you're going to like this, Rob... it's a good day for Emily Thorsley of Seattle. She has the honor of being the defending champion to start the epic season 25.
Jason: This is going to be a fun new year.
Rob: The 2008-2009 season should be fun.
Jason: If Harry and Alex and the Gang do 1/10 of what Wheel did for Season 25....this is going to be fun.
Chico: Well, we already have the ToC going on the road next year. VEGAS, baby!
Jason: CES 2009.
Gordon: Weeeee
Chico: If you ain't there, you ain't nowhere. Ain't that right?
Rob: Right.
Don: Right.
Jason: Right.
Gordon: Si Senor. But the CES will not be going to Broadway
Chico: Blondes will be. One blonde in particular... Bailey Hanks of Anderson, SC.
Jason: Congratulations!
Gordon: Hi Bailey.
Chico: She came out on top on MTV's Legally Blonde the Musical: Search for the Next Elle Woods.. And if THAT wasn't enough... she was also given the opportunity to record the song "So Much Better" from the show as a single.
Jason: Very nice.
Chico: Personally... I wanted Autumn Hurlbert to win... but she doesn't lose either, because she's the understudy and she'll be in the ensemble of the show. And if anything were to happen to Bailey... Autumn fits in the role. It was just one of those moments where it could've gone either way. I'll defer to Gordon and Jason, who've seen their fair share of Broadway shows.
Gordon: I'm glad that both women get a shot. And you know that the understudy gets paid, so good for Autumn as well.
Jason: Agreed.
Gordon: So they both get both jobs and credits on the show.
Chico: You know what this could remind me of... Clay & Ruben.
Jason: Who knows...maybe I will have to go see it on Broadway to see how she does.
Gordon: Well, she's not the only person to make it there. Can I have a Big Board please?

Gordon: Subject: Name in Lights. Let's see how many people you can name who have shown up on Broadway after a Reality Show Stint. I'll start with Clay Aiken in Spamalot.
Chico: Frenchie Davis. In Rent.
Jason: Diana DeGarmo-Hairspray.
Gordon: Fantasia and Jennifer Hudson in The Color Purple.
Jason:      Also Lakisha Jones did Color Purple as well before it closed.
Chico: Wasn't sure it was on Broadway, but John O'Hurley was in Spamalot. And technically, he was a realiy show contestant in Dancing With the Stars.
Jason: In Vegas. At the Wynn. :) Taylor Hicks is now Teen Angel in Grease. As well as the two leads. Whose names escape me.
Chico: Heh. Shows you how far-reaching THAT show was.
Gordon: That would be Laura Osnes as Sandy and Max Crumm as Danny.
Jason: Them... LOL
Gordon: And ironically enough, neither of them are currently starring in the show.
Jason: Wow.
Chico: HA.
Gordon: Who's starring, you may ask? I bet you're asking.
Jason: I am, actually.
Chico: Hey Gordon!
Gordon: Yes Chico!
Chico: Who's starring?
Gordon: Ashley Spencer is now Sandy. The same Ashley Spencer who lost in the finals to Laura.
Chico: And she was a Barbie.
Jason: Wow.
Chico: And you know what else... another runner-up is playing Danny. Derek Keeling.
Don: Yipes.
Gordon: Derek was ALSO a competitor in Grease:, coming in third.
Chico: To which I said... "Who?" The point is... Broadway is the next big thing...I have to see Spamalot. Because it's wrong... like me :-)
Rob: Which goes to show you how important winning a talent contest is.
Chico: That is... Not.
Jason: So when they said...we will keep your resume on file...they meant it :)
Chico: How about winning a game show that you knew was fixed?
Jason: Grrrr.
Chico: Let it out, man. Let it out.
Jason: Set up the story and then I will.
Chico: Again... important... except that it wasn't. But almost 50 years to the day after it happened... Charles Van Doren is talking to the New Yorker about "it". "It" being his run on the classic game show "Twenty One".
Jason: You mean, the guy who nearly ruined an industry is NOW coming out? Playing the poor me victim card?
Chico: .. Pretty much, yeah.
Rob: Ugh.
Jason: I am BURNING on this one. I stole G's Haterade. This makes me sick. Ill. And disgusted. He was a player, he was NOT an innocent victim.
Chico: Actually, while the "American Experience" interview portrayed van Doren as a victim... the New Yorker paints him, at least according to van Doren... as an active participant. And you can read more about it when the issue hits newsstands this week. If I may quote here.
Jason: Go on.

"I rose unsteadily and walked out of the room. I suppose that, at the time, I hated him for making me feel like a criminal..."

Chico: Now he wasn't a criminal yet... He only became one when he lied to a grand jury.
Jason: But come on...why now?
Chico: Because he thinks that everyone will write it off. The only thing is... everyone won't write it off.
Jason: Not me.
Chico: It isn't a case of a "good person making a bad decision" anymore.
Jason: nope. Hell no.
Chico: It's a guy thinking he's slick. He ain't that slick. Thank you, Steven Derounian. The guy that said "I can't commend a man for the act of simply, and at long last, telling the truth."
Gordon: I think it boils down to 3 things.
Chico: Money, power, and respect? That's basically what anything comes down to. If not all three, then at least one.
Jason: What does it come down to Gordon?
Chico: But you tell me.
Gordon: #1. M-o-n-e-y. I will guarantee you that this is not coming out of the goodness of Van Doren's heart.
Chico: Umm.. No. Isn't that the impetus of this story to begin with? After all, if Charlie Van Doren didn't think of the money when going on Twenty One, what did he think of?
Rob: Fame, prestige, notoriety. Maybe getting out of his dad's humongous shadow.
Jason: And some publisher thinks that that memoir he wrote will be worth big bucks.
Gordon: it will be worth something. alright... #2. Revision of History. Charles Van Doren is 80-something.
Rob: Almost as old as Stempel.
Jason: And this is his way of trying to re-write and make damage control?
Gordon: Most of his contemporaries - or people who could refute him - are currently playing the heaven version of 21. It's much easier to tell your side of the story when the people who could refute it are dead.
Jason: Ouch. Truthful but Ouch. Jack Barry is dead.
Rob: Enright is dead.
Chico: Herb Stempel is... not dead.
Gordon: Albert Freedman - is he dead?
Rob: Yes.
Chico: Dick Goodwin... very much alive.
Gordon: Yeah, but he wasn't an active player. So the only person living who was part of the situation - is Stempel. Much easier environment to have your voice heard.
Chico: Can't wait to see what he has to say about this. I guarantee you one thing, though.. won't be pretty.
Rob: Not in the slightest.
Chico: finally...
Gordon: #3...did you know he has all sorts of 2008 texts out on sale?
Jason: No.
Don: I did not know that.
Chico: Nope.
Gordon: He's got a new version of his book released in 2008 called The Joy of Reading. Updated too.
Chico: Updated and annotated? So clearly it's about money... and power.... and respect. All of which are lost upon him, I'm guessing.

http://www.amazon.com/Joy-Reading-Passionate-Worlds-Authors/dp/1402211600/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1217102411&sr=1-3

Chico: Interesting little blurb there.
Gordon: So here, mea culpa...oh by the way, I have a relatively new book coming out. Buy it, please.
Chico: Ha.
Jason: Damn. You are good.
Gordon: So that's my opinion, coming from the captain of jadedness.
Chico: And your ship is powered by hamsters and the occasional cat. ... and pig. ...and mole.... and gophers...
Gordon: Gordon Jr. read it. He borrowed it from Drew the Bookworm.
Chico: And does Gordon Jr. approve?
Gordon: He does. He also says 'Roll that Beautiful Brain Footage'

(Doug: Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)

Chico: Thanks, Doug. Okay, not much time, so let's get right into it. Gordon?
Gordon: Got a Date Book here with P. Diddy in it.
Jason: (chuckle)
Rob: Oh no, not again.

Do you like Diddy? Do you like Trannies? Then join us on August 4, where you get the best of both worlds with I Want to Work For Diddy

Jason: And yes...one of the candidates is a full on transsexual.
Chico: Only on VH1, folks,
Gordon: I'm going to be serious for one second.
Chico: *plays serious music*
Jason: ok
Gordon: Trannies have always been shrugged off as freaks. I would be the first person to say good for her/him for getting on the show, and I hope that this person takes it seriously.
Chico: I have no doubt that he/she will.
Gordon: Next up?
Chico: Next... I'm in need of a baseball bat. And a green light. First, the light.
Jason: (hands you the light)

Remember all the reports that GSN was doing away with High Stakes Poker? Never mind. GSN confirmed that it has indeed ordered a new season to tape in September.

Jason: Thank goodness.
Rob: WOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Gordon: yay!
Don: Very nice.
Rob: Hopefully, we get to see Benza play this season.
Don: That would certainly be interesting to see.
Chico: I doubt it'll happen, but it'd be very interesting if it did.
Gordon: Sure is. Whats up with the bat this week?
Chico: Now the bat...
Rob: *hands chico the bat*

Chris Brown... Mark Burnett... JD Roth. Three names that usually don't go together... unless they're shopping around a dancing contest series.

Chico: Let's see... R&B star.
Jason: Check.
Chico: Reality wunderkind...
Jason: Check.
Chico: Host-turned-prolific-producer.
Jason: Check. And biting off of two successful dance shows. Check.
Chico: This seems to be made of win.
Gordon: Dance Machine worked out real well, didn't it?
Chico: Ha.
Jason: But if they spin off of SYTYCD and ABDC, that's better, no?
Rob: No.
Gordon: They better bring out a new dance concept if they want this to work.
Chico: That's because of ABC being cursed to not have a successful game show after the cancellation of Millionaire, Dancing with the Stars being the exception that proves the rule.
Gordon: Ummm...Wipeout?
Chico: ... I retract that statement. Heh. Next?
Gordon: Next up - another victim of the Mike Fleiss machine. Are you smarter than...

Matt Grant, who stupidly believed that a 22 year old actress was ready to settle down. Said Actress - Shayne Lamas, who ended the relationship by getting caught cheating in Las Vegas.

Chico: Now I have a theory here. Let's bring up the picture. Big board, please..

Chico Has a Theory... photo courtesy People

Chico: Now, this is the post-finale pub picture of Matt and Shayne, Shayne, of course, being on the left. This does not look like the face of a woman who's ready to commit.
Gordon: I disagree, Chico.
Chico: You disagree, Gordon.
Gordon: She's more than ready to commit...adultery.
Jason: lol
Don: Heh.
Chico: We'll be here all week, folks. Tip the veal, try your waitress.
Gordon: As for Haterade, who wants a few shots?
Chico: Right here.
Jason: Bingo.
Gordon: This week's subject: Catfights.
Jason: Oh yeah! MEOW!
Don: Nice.
Jason: More hair pulling.

We start with Omarosa, who gets to spar with Wendy Williams on Wendy's TV show.

Gordon: Omarosa goes after Star Jones, Wendy calls Omarosa a delusional D-List Pathetic Woman', and I'm guessing that they are not getting together for any Olympic TV parties.
Jason: Can you say publicity stunt...I knew you could.
Chico: I'd say it's was another case of the pot calling the kettle black, but it's documented history that Omarosa doesn't quiet get the meaning behind the phrase. Honestly, Gordon... would you have Omarosa over at your Olympic TV party?
Gordon: Is there a 15 Minute Marathon event?
Rob: Probably not.
Chico: But yeah, given the individual predicaments facing both sides... it could be. I mean, the show's on a trial run in markets with Fox O&Os. And Omarosa needs another 15 minutes. Even though she doesn't.
Jason: She said (Omarosa) is appearing on her 16th and 17th shows. Yuck.
Chico: Can we just ban her from TV forever?
Jason: No.
Chico: BUT DADDDDDDYYYYYY...
Gordon: Sorry, can't. But we can get fully loaded.
Chico: ... Fine. Let's get loaded.

Back to Catch 21 for a second. GSN wants you to be aware of this show, so they're planting it everywhere, from your cell phone to your supermarket.

Jason: Good for them for doing the publicity for it.
Chico: Very good. Cell phones... Supermarkets. The only thing missing is a little bumper on the 21 DVD. I mean.. it would've helped, right?
Jason: Maybe. But I don't think Sony Pictures wanted a movie about cheating on Blackjack associated with a game show about Blackjack.
Gordon: Would have. You know what's missing from the Supermarkets?
Chico: Big red couches?
Gordon: You got it. And couches filled with SuperModels
Chico: ... yes.

Wanna be a SuperModel? Bravo has audition for season 2 of Make Me a Supermodel at the Radisson LA on July 30th, The Hotel Monaco on August 3, The Doral Golf Resort and Spa on August 5, and in Nashville on August 6.

Chico: Or if you want to be a supermodel with 1.5 times the audience of Make Me a Supermodel...

America's Next Top Model is also casting for cycle 12 in Washington, New Mexico, and North Carolina. Check out our friends at RealityWanted.com for info on that.

Jason: ok
Chico: So the world needs models...
Rob: Yup. and apparently a lot of them.
Gordon: But wait! There's more!
Don: More?
Gordon: From ABC...

Looking for beautiful guys & girls that want to compete for the title of "The Great American Beauty"! MUST BE BETWEEN THE AGES OF 18-30yrs old! Participants will be whisked away for a chance of a lifetime and the opportunity to win an INCREDIBLE CASH PRIZE! DO YOU THINK YOU DESERVE THE TITLE OF "GREAT AMERICAN BEAUTY"? IF SO, WE WANT TO MEET YOU!

Rob: Oy, reminds me of All American Girl.
Jason: No. No. A Thousand Times no.
Chico: I'll pass. Even worse, it reminds me of "Are You Hot?"
Don: Ewww.
Gordon: Can we just give this an Epic Fail now?
Rob: I second that mention, Gordon.
Chico: Epic fail.
Jason: Epic Fail
Don: Yes, Epic Fail.
Gordon: Excellent. Now who's up for Epic Hoes?
Jason: Bring them.
Chico: *plays "Pimpin' All over the World"*

In this week's Media Ho Report, Nigel Barker has a seal gallery in NYC, while Gladys Nederlander and Estelle Getty both pass...

(silence)

Project Runway contestants Wesley Nault and Daniel Field are now dating, while Big Brother contestant Jessie Godderz has been outed by his 'friends'... Apparently, Nude Pics for Gay Advertising (according to said websites) is the new Black.

Jason: Damn. Wow.
Rob: Ouch, Gordon.
Gordon: Welcome to 'Gordon pulls no punches week' on WLTI.
Rob: Obviously.
Jason: Also he has been on MTV Exposed...
Gordon: And if you've seen some of his pics on the internet, he's REALLY been exposed. Isn't that right, Chico?
Chico: Half a dozen beers just to forget that...and you had to go and remind me again.

Marissa Jaret Winkour has a baby, and Kim Kardashian says she may be on Dancing With The Stars...wha?

Chico: Kim Kardashian's a star?
Jason: They will need a widescreen lens for that booty...KK's I mean.
Chico: Heh. I still remember the last time she used a widescreen lens. Because she's known for having a big ass and a sex tape.
Gordon: But none of them are your hoes of the week. Your hoes are Tom Bergeron, Ryan Seacrest, Howie Mandel, Jeff Probst and Heidi Klum.
Jason: All fighting for one golden statuette.
Gordon: Not only are they all nominated for best reality series host - but they are also all hosting the Emmys.
Jason: Really?
Gordon: Yes, really.
Chico: Really?
Gordon: Yes, really.
Don: Whoa.
Gordon: http://www.realitytvworld.com/news/seacrest-probst-bergeron-mandel-and-klum-host-emmy-awards-7526.php
Rob: Amazing.
Chico: Not bad.
Jason: That's intense.
Gordon: And those...are your hoes. So for Emmy nominees, you have a Canadian and a German, so let's go global. Chico?
Chico: We're going over to the UK this week and with big news...
Gordon: It's HUUUUUUUUGE
Jason: This is BIG.
Rob: It's Ginormous.

As you know by now, Des O'Connor has pulled out of hosting the long-running Countdown after two years. We were going to run with a story that Carol Vorderman was an 8-1 favorite to replace him when it broke yesterday she too was leaving the show.

Jason: And she has been with the show since 1982. Unreal.
Chico: Channel 4 reps quoted that the show was going to continue. But with who, though, remains to be seen.
Jason: I think this could be the end of one the greatest shows of all time.
Gordon: Hey Chico!
Chico: Yes, Gordon.
Gordon: Do you see HanShark flying over the UK?
Chico: Yep. And Susie Dent's riding him.
Rob: I can see Susie dent doing the letters.
Gordon: All I have to say is that the UK better select well.
Jason: They better. This is a top 10 story of this year. This is Massive.
Chico: This is going to be the highest profile host search since last year.
Don: It'll definitely be one to watch.
Rob: I'm rooting for Clive Anderson.
Gordon: And that's BrainVision. Shut it Down.
Jason: Shutting down.
Chico: Still to come, we roll out the podiums, but first, it's one of those games we play every season without fail... and this season is no exception. Time to play doctor.
Gordon: (Brings out the scalpel)
Jason: I have the anesthesia.
Chico: This is We Love to Interrupt... the show that does to game shows what the Wonderbra did for flat-chested women.
Jason: Lift, separate and support.

(Brainvision is powered by WLTI: The Musical - The Search for Gordon & Chico... Tens try out... hundreds vote... Two win. Jason Block hosts.)

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