Episode 18.1
June 2

Gordon: This is Gordon Pepper, and welcome to our 18th season on the air!
Chico: Woo! What do we have specially planned for season 18? The same junk we've been dealing with for the past 17 seasons!
Gordon: Woo! But this week, I've had a strange sense of Deja Vu.
Chico: Really, do explain.
Gordon: It's like I've seen a lot of things before... But before we do that, let's say hi to someone we've seen a lot of times before, our special guest Jason Block.
Jason: Hey there!
Chico: Now that that's out of the way... from somewhere in America... the "so this is Summer... and what have you done" edition of WLTI... is... ON!
Jason: 18 seasons now...are we allowed to vote?
Chico: And smoke (BTW smoking's bad)
Jason: Very bad.
Gordon: We're allowed to see someone on Jeopardy win over $200,000
Chico: But due to some roughshod game play... only above $222,000. Let me set the stage for you.
Jason: Ok.
Chico: Larissa Kelly had just passed all other ladies to become the winningest female player in Jeopardy! history and #3 all time (under David Madden and Ken Jennings) ... but she's stopped on Wednesday when she misses the last Daily Double.
Jason: go on
Chico: She has $9800 to Pat Roche's $12,800. Nan Reiner has $5600. The Daily Double is the LAST clue before Final, so you want to put yourself in the best possible position for it, and the best position would be... within contention.
Jason: But she bets BIG...I mean stupidly BIG. I have to say Chico...you nailed how she fell.
Chico: One of those cases when she bets big when she doesn't have to.
Gordon: The ideal bet is $3,100. Get it right, and you have the lead going into Final Jeopardy. Get it wrong, and you can still win, albeit with help.
Chico: The best bet she could've made was $3400, not $8000 as she had requested.
Jason: She went for it all...and missed.
Gordon: Here's why $8,000 is a bad bet. If you get it right, sure, you get the lead, but you still have to get Final Jeopardy right. Get it wrong, and it's game over.
Chico: The clue, in Dutch Royalty..

Since 1984, the Queen's place of work has been Noordeinde Palace in this city.

Jason: What is Amsterdam?
Gordon: What is The Hague?
Chico: One of you is correct
Gordon: Is it the prettier one?
Jason: Of course it is :D
Chico: That person... Gordon.
Gordon: Yes, that would be the prettier one.
Jason: Grumble.
Chico: Larissa got it wrong... by god she did get it wrong. That puts her out of contention and literally gives the game to Pat.
Jason: Yes it does.
Chico: Question here is... why would you DO such a thing?
Gordon: Maybe because of what happened at the end of regular Jeopardy
Chico: Which would be... missing the Daily Double. Seems like ever since, she's been playing on tilt. And as we've said before, playing on tilt is BAD. BAAAAAD!
Gordon: Well, lets set this up. Larissa is $200 off the lead Everyone has at least $4,000+
Chico: Got it.
Gordon: Instead of a small bet, she goes for the gusto. Chico, the question, please
Chico: No problem. The clue in $1000 Ranks & Titles.

It's a member of the lowest rank of the French Legion of Honor; just ask Maurice

Jason: What is Chevalier?
Gordon: I second Jay
Jason: Reading the clue of course (Thanks Bob Harris)
Chico: J's right and Gordon's right. And Bob Harris is right. The only person who's wrong... Larissa, who is dropped for a loss.
Jason: Boy oh boy those big bets came back to bite her.
Gordon: So on the episode, she loses $12,000 on Daily Doubles. If she only bet $100 each, she would have had the lead going into Final Jeopardy.
Chico: Just goes to show that there's nothing wrong with a big bet, so long as you know your stuff... Larissa thought she did... WRONG.
Jason: So do you think she is a good player or a bad better?
Chico: I'll go with a bad better. Her knowledge base is just crazy good. The problem lies with her metagame. As soon as she threw that ball away, you can tell that she wanted to take it back.
Gordon: I don't think she's bad, as much as she is over-aggressive.
Jason: Hyper-aggressive.
Gordon: Extremely. However, those are good traits to have in a Tournament of Champions setting.
Chico: But so far as a regular game goes, the point is to win.
Jason: Right.
Gordon: Yes - or sometimes, Survive, which you can't do when you're betting the farm
Jason: But I give her respect for her gameplay...but betting...not so much
Chico: Agree. The good news.. she'll have a shot at redemption later.
Jason: Oh yeah
Chico: She's definitely tournament of champions-bound.
Jason: She is one of the favorites
Gordon: She will...and what happens to the person who unseats a long-running champion?
Jason: One and done.
Chico: Usually gone before the ink dries on their check.
Jason: See Nancy Zerg
Chico: And this week... is no exception. As Pat Roche leaves after all of one match. Giant killers are, as I've said before, zero for the world.
Jason: Sad, but true.
Chico: And Gordon... apparently you're not the only one with deja vu... You watch either of the early-summer reality favorites this week? Plenty of deja vu...
Gordon: I watched both of them. In Last Comic Standing, it felt like I was watching Season 1 all over again
Jason: Is that good or bad?
Gordon: In this case, good. Comic who were very funny the first time who I felt were shafted are returning
Jason: Oh wow :-)
Gordon: And that includes Eddie Pepitone, who was one of my faves in season 1
Chico: In this week's case, it was the LA auditions with Office castmates Angela Kinsey and Oscar Nunez scouting.
Jason: Holy smoke.
Chico: And unlike season 1... no one called BS. That's a good thing. It shows that NBC learned its lesson from all that.
Gordon: So far - let see what happens later on
Chico: Any standouts come from the LA audition other than Eddie?
Gordon: It depends on who makes the house, of course, but the talent pool definitely seems better this year
Chico: No argument there.
Jason: Which is better for us as viewers. And are the ratings good for it?
Gordon: I defer to Chico's magic box
Chico: Looking. Okay, it only averaged a 3.0/5. Part of the problem was its competition... SYTYCD. Which also had its share of moments and repeat contestants this week... and continuing to answer the question of what happens when people with no rhythm think that they can dance....
Jason: They have an inflated ego.
Chico: and in some cases... an inflate midsection and a lowered center of gravity.
Jason: ewwwww
Gordon: And are highly entertaining - and usually get punted
Chico: They attract for the same reason that bad (insert talent here) attract.. they're trainwrecks.
Jason: See the American Idol early auditions. e.g. Ian Bernardo.
Gordon: Yes, but here's a huge difference between this show and Idol - in this show, you will see all 20 finalists perform at one point or another.
Chico: Right... Even if it's in "The Choreography"
Gordon: Better than no screen time
Jason: Right
Gordon: And we'll continue the Deja Vu experience to Top Chef, where the speical judges this time...are all 3 winners of the previous seasons.
Chico: No shenanigans there, right?
Jason: let's hope not
Gordon: None at all, we have our Final 4, and they are Stephanie, Antonia, Richard, and Lisa, who edges out Spike in the Eliminations. This is probably the best Final 4 the show has had. Not coincidentally, this is the best ratings the show has received.
Chico: Really.. do tell
Jason: yes please
Gordon: You have Richard, who's gastronomically based, while the ladies are more down to Earth style. The first 3 winners of Top Chef - all male. This could be the first female winner.
Chico: Sounds like this could be a killer final.
Gordon: The only person who probably can't win is Lisa, who has been in the bottom 5 times. The others, however, have all shown well - and even Lisa could be a dark horse.
Jason: Sounds yummy
Chico: Sounds cool.
Gordon: It is...and I thought there was another Joseph sighting in Contestant's Row.
Chico: No Joseph, just run of the mill stupid. People... surfboards do not cost $9000.
Gordon: Not even the Beverly Hills Boogie Boards?
Chico: No. And amazingly enough... the contestants don't get on stage that round!
Jason: I am shocked....not.
Gordon: But do they get on stage at all?
Chico: Nope. Theresa does start to make semi-conscious bids, though. But it's a case of too much, too little too late.
Gordon: Better semi-conscience than unconscionable...and speaking of which, The Moment of Truth is back on
Chico: Whoo!
Jason: Boooooooo
Chico: And it's... just as out there as you remember it. We begin the season with a guy named Curtis Frank... What do we learn about Curtis Frank?... BIG BOARD PLEASE!

Chico: This one's called "Allow Me to Be Frank."
Gordon: Ok then - you are now Frank
Chico: Thanks much. We learn that... 1) Curtis gets "made up" before going out. 2) Curtis has watched more than a single minute of gay porn... 3) Curtis has gone to church to pick up women... 4) Curtis has passed counterfeit money...
Gordon: knowingly
Chico: 5) Curtis once got busy in his parents store.
Jason: Which was a furniture store.
Gordon: Feel up that leather, baby.
Chico: And 6) Curtis cheated on his ex... I've seen his ex... One word... Why?
Gordon: Because he can. That last one was for $100,000. Curtis wins it - but maybe loses his ex gf, Aurora
Jason: She was hot? :-)
Chico: Oh. She was hot. Wasn't she hot, G?
Gordon: Scorching
Jason: Damn.
Chico: You blew it, buddy.
Gordon: You missed the part that he told someone he was tested for an std when he wasn't
Chico: OH YEAH! Forgot bout that!
Gordon: And Aurora got burnt thanks to someone who couldn't keep it in his pants.
Chico: But perhaps what's even more interesting... is what we learn about the show and/or its host.
Jason: Do tell.
Chico: Mark L. Walberg basically said that the show hasn't done anything that the contestants haven't done themselves.
Jason: Meaning that he wipes his hands of it.
Chico: The quote...

"And of all the people that have been on the show, only one couple that I know of that was married has decided to separate. And they were already on the rocks well before they got to us, by their own admission." -Mark L. Walberg

Jason: From the Daily News interview...yes?
Chico: Right
Gordon: And he's 100%...True. All the show is doing is bringing these facts to life.
Jason: I call shenanigans.
Gordon: I don't. I think he's right
Chico: Walberg admits that he's not doing God's work, but things happen on this show.
Gordon: It's the ultimate Dr. Phil. I think they are doing a great job.
Chico: And in the end, everyone's relieved that the facts have come to light.
Jason: According to HIM.
Chico: Yeah, look what happened to Dr. Phil.
Gordon: He's rich, rich, rich
Chico: How much credibility does he have again?
Gordon: Mark isn't the guidance counselor. He's just showing you what's going on
Chico: See, the difference here is Mark doesn't even pretend to be credible. He's just a host. This is just a show. and in the end, it is what it is.
Jason: Yeah but he is giving this false credibility of "oh my god, I don't want to be here." when you know he is getting paid a big load of money.
Chico: Is he, J? ... Is he?
Gordon: Exactly. I don't think the executive producers put a gun to Curtis Frank's head and told him to go have sex in a furniture store.
Chico: And even if they did, I'm sure he would gladly oblige. *plays line in "Humpty Dance"* "I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom"
Jason: But if the show wasn't there...these people would just be in the background...not instant media hos and $100,000 richer.
Chico: That's on them.
Jason: Is it?
Chico: That's the thing about media hoes. Everyone goes willingly.
Gordon: I don't understand what sympathy you have for them. They know the rules. They even know the questions ahead of time
Chico: Yep.
Gordon: And you have to think they saw the first season, so they know what to expect. Curtis even said the strategy was to get too 100,000
Jason: I don't have sympathy for them at all. But I don't have sympathy for the producers either for putting this crap on the air.
Gordon: What sympathy for them?
Chico: There's no sympathy to be had anywhere!
Jason: Right that's what I said.
Gordon: Agreed. No sympathy in the building - just entertainment for the masses.
Chico: And in the end... that's all that really matters.
Gordon: That, and...you may want to get Chairman the hamster out of the machine.
Chico: Wha?
Gordon: Gordon Jr. is asking him some intimate questions.
Jason: The Moment Of Truth---Hamster Style.
Chico: Do you fantasize about Eve the cat and a freshly laid bed of newspaper? *squeak squeak*
Gordon: That answer is....Roll That Beautiful Brain Footage.

(Doug: Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)

Chico: Thanks, Doug. First up... Hmm.. I feel like getting loaded right off the bat. Because it's a big loaded this week
Jason: HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIC.
Chico: It's a Loaded-Ho crossover. And it begins with this question... When was the last time that an American Idol winner had the #1 single a week after their coronation? I want to say Carrie Underwood.
Jason: Was It Kelly Clarkson? Did our man Cook do it this week?
Chico: Now for the question that makes up Loaded...

When was the last time an American Idol winner had TWO singles in the Billboard Top 15 AND 17 of the top 100 songs on iTunes?

Jason: That would be never.
Chico: That WOULD be never... Until now. David Cook has the #3 and #15 singles this week.
Jason: Ho. Lee. Cow.
Chico: AND he has 17 of this week's top 100 digital downloads. Seems like we rode on the right horse.
Jason: What is #3 by the way?
Chico: #3 this week: "The Time of My Life". #15: Dream Big.
Jason: I think he is going to be Ok.
Chico: I accept him as my Idol this year. And by "I", I mean "America".
Gordon: I wonder what the producers would have done if they saw that and Cook didn't win?
Chico: They'd... uh... I don't know what they'd do, G.
Jason: And I believe Cook signed his deal this week, as well, yes?
Chico: And to satisfy the "ho" quotient: Cook is dating Kimberly Caldwell AND he signed off on his deal for RCA/19.
Gordon: He has. And while we're at this point, let's see some more hoes.
Chico: *plays "Pimpin' All Over the World"*

Cameron Mathison (DWTS & Your Place or Mine) will be hosting the Emmys, Alex Trebek (Jeopardy!) gets a homecoming, Dick Martin, Sophie Altman and Harvey Korman all pass...

(silence)

Chico: Thank you. Okay, continuing?

MTV makes an Apprentice Clone featuring 50 Cent, Michael Fleming does BuzzTime, and David Cook goes musically nuts.

Gordon: But none of them are the Ho of the Week.
Jason: Who is the Ho.
Gordon: The Ho is...Regis Philbin, who will get a Lifetime Achievement Award at this year's Daytime Emmys.
Chico: And he has a little show he's doing tomorrow night.
Jason: Go Reege!
Chico: And we're reasonably convinced that it'll do well. CBS... Sunday night at 8... Regis... AND Betty White... How can it fail?
Gordon: As long as they don't shtoink with the format
Chico: It's the same game in fast forward. Or so I've been told.
Gordon: Meanwhile, if youre in the Military, we have a big red comfy sofa for you
Jason: Whats happening on the couch?

According to the Army Times, a show that strangely enough sounds like Opportunity Knocks is wanting a military family to be on their first or pilot episode.

Gordon: Cause apparently, nothing screams ratings like the military.
Jason: It does--somewhat.
Chico: They're not really divulging the title of the show... but a trained monkey can figure this one out.
Jason: Or a trained hamster, cat, pig or mole.
Gordon: Just ask Deal Or No Deal how having the Commander in Chief on their show worked out for them...oh wait, it didn't do so good, did it?
Chico: Point, Gordon. the email, by the way, is tvshowcasting@yahoo.com
Gordon: And those...are your hoes.
Chico: Okay, next up, get my bat...
Jason: (hands you the bat)

First up, the greenlight is on 50, who, as we reported earlier, has signed off to host eight episodes of an Apprentice clone.

Jason: Give a whole meaning to YOUR FIRED...(boom)
Chico: Not that we condone that sort of thing.
Jason: We don't...but 50 seems to have a liking for the guns.
Chico: And getting rich... or dying trying.
Gordon: At least getting paid from a TV network is a safer way to get rich
Chico: In the Business End, meanwhile. Deadlines.

We might've dodged one with AFTRA dealing with Hollywood producers for three years, but the WPT had to EXTEND their deal with GSN to June 7

Jason: WPT is in DEEP trouble. I think they will be disbanded by the end of 2008. Or at least financially bankrupt.
Chico: Well, they are treading water. And with the bubble bursting on televised poker... well, this can't be good, right?
Jason: Not really.
Chico: Add to that Mr. Goldhill wanting to return to the good old days of 2002, and... yeah. You can see that the WPT is in BIG trouble.
Gordon: Well the problem is that stupid gambling bill that makes internet poker illegal to both players and banks, depending on payment.
Chico: The one that makes poker sites say "Not a gambling site"? I don't know, G...
Jason: You think there is a correlation?
Gordon: Why yes, that one. And I definitely think there is a correlation.: Gambling was booming before the bill was put in. Now that it is, you handcuff people from going into tournaments and qualifying via free or $5 satellite. Can I have a Big Board, please?

Gordon: Subject - where your gambling dollar goes. Now Jason, I know that you are somewhat versed in the history of Poker
Jason: Very much so.
Gordon: What is considered 'The Moment' that poker became mainstream?
Jason: When Chris Moneymaker won the WSOP in 2003 from a Pokerstars Satellite, correct?
Gordon: That is correct, sir. (DING) Now why is that considered the moment?
Jason: Because it showed that anybody with a chip and a chair can play poker and win $2M(at the time)
Gordon: Right. I don't have $10,000 to play with. Most people aren't going to walk into a tournament and play with 10 G's. BUT I can spend $10 and try to win a tournament that will give me the $10,000 entry fee if I win. That's called a satellite tournament.
Jason: It may take a few tourneys and it can be done.
Chico: Enter Congress..
Gordon: One more stat for you - it is believed that througout the years, roughly 30% of the people who competed in the World Series of Poker Main Events got their via Satellite Tournament
Chico: Okay
Gordon: Now in 2006, Congress passed a bill passed thatin certain cases and in certain states, made internet gambling illegal - and banks could be penalized if they knowingly accepted gambling money into their account.
Jason: Which is called The Unlawful Internet Gambling Enforcement Act of 2006
Gordon: The bill was created by the casinos to get people to stop playing online and to go to casinos, where they hope to get more money.
Chico: And coincidentally enough, the 2006 series of the WPT was when it stopped being fun to watch.
Gordon: Instead, it has had the opposite effect - with people having limited ways to enter satellites, the attendance at the WSOP has gone down. In fact, nationally, casino attendance has dropped by approximately 4.5%
Chico: Ouch.
Gordon: Barney Frank, along with other people, including NY Senator Alphone D'Amato and the PPA (Poker Player's Association) has put legislature in the works to overturn the bill. I think if it gets overturned, then the attendance goes back up
Chico: And online gaming is reinstated? But here's what I want to know... is the damage already done?
Gordon: I think damage has been done - but I also think it's reversible
Jason: So do I.
Chico: Guess we'll have to follow up on it, right?
Gordon: We sure do
Jason: Yes we do.
Gordon: But once again we can blame the government for once again sticking their nose in where it doesn't belong due to excessive greed.
Chico: And politicking. I wouldn't be surprised if you had a list of those who supported the bill... and I also wouldn't be surprised if you decided this election year that it was time to clean house. =p Because politicians are like diapers. They should be changed frequently, and for the same reason. But enough politics for this column. Let's get to some Haterade, shall we?
Gordon: But first, Are You Smarter Than...

The execs of VH1, who let Flava Flav do a Flava of Love 3 - even though he wound up proposing to one of the women he met during Flava of Love 2?

Jason: Who...is his baby mama.
Chico: While we're talking about greed... Heh. But props to Flav, who says the best gift you can give a child is the love of his mother.
Jason: Tell that to the other 7 kids he has...
Gordon: and props to his wallet, who got himself a nice paycheck for knowing that he wasn't going to be taking any of these women seriously
Chico: Oh yeah. Who takes a woman who defecates a staircase seriously?
Jason: Not me.
Gordon: I bet the staircase does :P And as for Haterade, Ive got a glass
Jason: Let's have it.

Any thoughts on Paula dancing on DWTS? Don't count on it. Nigel Lythgoe forbids her to do it, adding that it would be unfair that Paula would have a natural dancing advantage

Jason: I call shenanigans. I think it's more like...NO ******* way is she slumming there.
Chico: Why doesn't he just say that her Idol contract promotes exclusivity or some such. Why does he have to reduce it to a peter-measuring contest?
Jason: Because he is Lythgoe...that's why.
Gordon: It's all about the spinnnnnn
Chico: Nasty Nigel is a master of that.
Gordon: Hes one of the best-est. Anyone up for spanning the globe?
Chico: Me!
Jason: Let's go!
Gordon: where are we going, daddy?
Chico: This one goes out to newest friends of mine (and therefore, of the site), Robin & Jon, who are headed to the UK...

Bingo on TV... in Britain... with the chick from Fort Boyard.

Chico: I'll give you time to process that.
Jason: Sounds good...I think.
Gordon: All things that start with B's.
Chico: Bingo Night Live will launch on ITV1 on Wednesday. Aside from standard Bingo, they'll have extra games like Magic Numbers and Minute to Win It. Players can download cards at www.itv.com/bingonightlive starting June 2
Jason: Lets just hope they keep it clean and up and up, right guys?
Chico: Right. Want to take a cue? See Bingo America. That was on the up-and-up, and it didn't make a secret out of the fact that it was an instant-win game. Instead of traditional bingo. And a wish of good luck for them... seriously. They'll need it.
Gordon: we'll see if the UK TV Producers can finally learn their lesson
Chico: Finally on the docket is... Our calendar. With a big pink entry for June 2...

We'll be searching for the next Elle Woods then, and on June 8th, we'll be looking for the next Master of Dance.

Chico: Right under that, a green entry and a fingerprint.
Jason: Sounds like the Mole.

That's when we'll be looking for the next winner to figure out that the Mole is the babe with the big groundhogs on her chest.

Chico: I still think it's the guy with the ink. We've had "old guy". We've had "hot chick"... It's time for "tattooed guy".
Jason: We shall find out.
Chico: Yes we shall. And with that... we close up Brainvision. Shut it down.
Jason: (shutting down)
Gordon: When we come back, we get plungeriffic
Jason: With the SuperToilet 200
Chico: But first, the GSNN two-tailed Anthony Head quarter... now available from the Franklin Mint. This is We Love to Interrupt, the voice... of a generation of slackers.
Gordon: yay, slackers!

(Brainvision is powered by... the GSNN Two-Tailed Anthony Head quarter... now available from the Franklin Mint)

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