Episode 18.2
June 16
Gordon: This is Gordon Pepper, and something
strange happened this week
Alex: Oh really?
Jason: Like what?
Gordon: Although this weekend coming up is Father's Day, the people making the
noise this week - are all ladies.
Chico: Well, they had to come from somewhere. Right?
Gordon: And one of them..eventually...will be coming from Clay AIken
Chico: Scary, ain't it? You know what else is scary?
Jason: What?
Chico: This... From somewhere in America... WLTI... is... ON!
Gordon: Gordon and Chico here, along with Jason Block and Alex Davis - neither
of whom are fathers.
Jason: None here.
Alex: Not that I know of *wink*
Chico: I'm too young. I'm no one's father... I could be some lucky lady's daddy,
though =p
Gordon: We'll get to daddies and new shows later, but right now, we go to
mommies - and a Donna Mommy who walked off with almost $100,000 on Jeopardy
Chico: Donna Vogel... Yeah, I think we'll see her later on. She's fierce.
Jason: Thank you Christian Siriano.
Chico: No problem.
Gordon: Fierce, and a very good player, as she racks up a lot of dough. What I
like about Donna is that she will also play very cagey.
Chico: Explain.
Gordon: We'll go to a game in the middle of her reign.
Chico: Alrighty.
Gordon: June 10th, 2008. She has $18,400. Danny has $18,000. Emily has $10,800.
Final Jeopardy - Colonial Pen Names. '
Chico: I remember this one. Q and I got it before they even gave the clue. =p
For Gossip Columns, he wrote under the name 'Busy Body', To discuss Marriage,
he became 'Anthony Afterwit'.
Chico: Who is Ben Franklin?
Jason: Who is Benjamin Franklin
Gordon: There's not many Colonial Writers out there, so Ben Franklin would be
correct. Emily gets it wrong, so she's out of contention.
Chico: And Danny?
Gordon: Danny gets it right and bets...just enough...to cover Emily's bet and
hopes that Donna gets it wrong.
Jason: Bad move.
Gordon: Donna bets...just enough...to cover Danny in case he bets just enough to
cover Emily's bet.
Jason: Smooth.
Chico: That's how you play. That's how you win.
Alex: Yep
Gordon: Great move by Donna, because if everyone gets it wrong, she wins, and if
everyone gets it right, she wins. Danny's bet - he played the Jeopardy Gambit,
thinking that if Donna gets it wrong, he wins, but if he went all out - Danny
wins the match.
Chico: But last Wednesday, were it not for a late-game decision by Debbie Barnes
of New York City... she would still be champion... She also plays cagey.
Gordon: That's something that Debbie Barnes did. Donna gets done in by a huge
Daily Dougle bet that gives Debbie the lead and then the Final Jeopardy win.
Chico: Helped matters that she was in the lead after betting some $9000 on a
late-game Daily Double. She get this right, she has the advantage going into the
final. If not, it's all about Donna. The clue in Sports...
This other name for grand prix racing refers to the specifications of the
Federation Internationale de L'Automobile
Jason: What is Formula One.
Gordon: What is Tuning up Danica Patrick's Chassis?
Alex: haha
Jason: Her husband would kill you :-)
Gordon: Well based on what we've heard from in sexual harassment lawsuit land
this week, everyone's been talking about tuning up all of the ladies' chassis.
Chico: Just be careful which lady you decide to tune up.
Gordon: Maybe they would settle for an oil and lube job
Jason: hey!
Chico: So Debbie wrests the crown away from Donna after $85,299 and four wins.
Gordon: Hey Chico!
Chico: Yes Gordon? I've got a bonus, BTW.
Gordon: What happens to people who unseat long time Jeopardy winners?
Chico: Nine times out of ten... they usually lose. But what a loss.. $41,201.
Gordon: Nice hunk of change to lose to. Reminds me of the Sale of the Century
episode where one of the challengers loses - but walks out of there with Instant
Cash and $17,000.
Jason: Yeah :)
Alex: And now they get a nice pair of sunglasses and lots of love!
Chico: Heh.
Gordon: And maybe an oil and lube job after the show. Keeping with the ladies,
let's talk to someone who admits to sleeping with the host of Password.
Jason: Hey! Susie Essman never did anything with Regis!
Gordon: Betty White, who was married to the original host of Password, did.
Jason: She looked great.
Chico: Oh yeah... wonder what the ghost of Allen Ludden was thinking when she
asked Regis what he was doing later. Probably the same thing he was thinking
when he saw her play... "Still got it." Susie Essman... she wasn't too shabby
either.
Gordon: She played great - and so did Susie Essman, for that matter.
Alex: She was amazing. That was the best episode of the series so far easily.
Gordon: Both ladies lead their civilian partners to $100,000. Steve Borzoni and
Linda Hendrick are the pair of $100,000 winners. Steve with Susie, and Linda
with Betty.
Alex: This episode kept making me think how screwed up the process of getting
the celebrity to play the money round is, though.
Gordon: The rules are - the celebrity that helps the contestant get the most
answers right goes on to the bonus round.
Chico: And in the event of a tie...
Gordon: if there's a tie, the celebrity who got the civilian the win plays.
Chico: For example... If you get 9 with Betty and 9 with Susie, and you're
paired with Susie to end the match... then you play with Susie.
Gordon: I know that they want to be fair, but it SHOULD be - the contestant
decides which celebrity they play with. It's their money.
Chico: Makes sense.
Jason: Right.
Alex: Exactly. I mean I'm a big fan of Susie. I know Curb Your Enthusiasm
episodes like the back of my hand. But I still thought it was screwed up that
she got to play because she played last.
Gordon: In this episode, it wouldn't have made a difference, because both
celebrities played great.
Jason: Yeah they did.
Gordon: But lets go back to Sunday's episode.
Chico: I was on vacation. What happened?
Gordon: Who do you want as your celebrity - accomplished Game Show Wordsmith
Rosie O'Donnell...or not so accomplished 'I'm here because CBS wants the kiddies
to watch' Tony Hawk?
Jason: Rosie O.
Alex: Rosie for sure.
Chico: Rosie O. All we know about Tony is that he's not smarter than a 5th
Grader.
Gordon: How did he do on that show again?
Chico: He took the class for $175,000. Meanwhile Rosie, who won $500,000 in
Celebrity Millionaire and was a Lifeline to help another person win $32,000, is
a big ol' fangirl. She can (and probably has) played everything. But do
continue.
Gordon: Dante Mercadante gets up to $50,000 with Rosie and quits, which makes
him the biggest winner (up to that point).
Jason: Why he quit...I have no idea.
Chico: Probably lost confidence in his skills.
Gordon: He was at the point where he didn't want to give $25,000 back if he lost
(and who can blame him). Tony Hawk...fails at $50,000 with Lynn Fischer.
Chico: Yikes.
Jason: She wasn't a good clue giver
Gordon: That is the worst a celebrity has done in this version of the game.
Chico: This is probably the reason why this is the top draw of the summer thus
far (but we'll get to that later).
Gordon: Memo to CBS. PLEASE do NOT put this in the Winter (unless you pair it
with 60 Minutes)
Chico: I believe they'll have the Race then. Another good show to slot on
Sunday.
Gordon: True, but don't stick it up on Wednesday against American Idol - like
you did to another game show which got good ratings during the Summer.
Jason: Oh yeah...that one.
Chico: Yeah... and it ended up with the Rose d'Or. So you tell me who the smart
one was :-)
Alex: I'd really rather not see a repeat of what happened to Power of 10. That
still bums me out that it's gone.
Chico: No foolin'. Production companies know everything.... Networks... not so
much.
Gordon: But let's talk about a winter game that's going strong...Deal or No
Deal, the Summer edition.
Chico: #2 of the Million Dollar Madness shows. Adam Hansen plays with 12 MDCs...
Gordon: And for those of you who don't know what that is - you go into a door
with an air vent at the bottom, grab a air-propelled ball, and that's how many
cases have a million dollars.
Jason: Wow
Chico: It's like a swirling whirlwind... of million dollar balls. =p
Alex: Full of Golden Balls, incidentally yet another Endemol product.
Gordon: Its like the hall of money with the fan at the bottom - but it's a hall
of balls.
Chico: It's like a Fantasy Fountain... of round spherical objects... and Howie's
Peter Marshall.
Alex: It's "We really don't want to wait until 10 weeks later to have 13
$1,000,000 cases and the ratings for it. Let's find an easy way to get cases to
that level quickly".
Jason: Exactly
Gordon: So what happened?
Chico: Okay, so he's left with one MDC out of four remaining...
The board: 5 / 10 / 400 / 1M.
Chico: The offer.. $169,000.
Jason: See you!
Gordon: Safety net of...nothing
Jason: Goodbye
Chico: I'd walk.
Alex: Easy deal for me.
Gordon: Im gone spending my $169,000.
Chico: But with 10 minutes of show left... he doesn't.
Jason: Oh no!
Chico: Next case... $400!
Jason: Oh yes!
Chico: Next offer... $263,000.
Chico: That's almost a $100,000 jump.
Jason: Please go!
Alex: OK that one's gotta be an obvious deal.
Chico: That's me hitting the button and going home. That's also Adam hitting the
button and going home.
Jason: Thank you!
Chico: In his case... $10.
Gordon: Nice deal
Chico: One word...
Everyone: PROFIT!
Chico: Meanwhile, on that other... other million dollar show... Professional
cowboy Travis Broussard gets this question for $100,000.
What patriotic anthem written by Julia Ward Howe contains the line, "His
truth is marching on?"
Gordon: Well it's definitely not the Tim Donaghy Anthem. Or maybe it is - if the
truth is marching on - without him.
Jason: LOL
Chico: It's a 3rd Grade Music question.
Jason: What is the Battle Hymn of the Republic?
Chico: Correct...BUT...He COPIES Olivia's answer... which is just "Hymn of the
Republic". So Jason's right. Olivia's wrong. Travis drops to $25,000.
Gordon: Ouch.
Chico: Meanwhile, we have another player, Lance Rushing, a box salesman. He
sells boxes.
Alex: How exciting.
Chico: Isn't it, though?
Jason: Did he box himself into a corner?
Alex: Oooooh, lol
Chico: He has $25,000. He's going for $50,000. The question in 4th Grade A-NA-tomy...
The lumbar section of a typical human spine contains how many vertebrae? a)
5, b) 15 c) 30.
Chico: He chooses B.
Jason: I think it's 15
Gordon: C.
Chico: Nathan... as usual, has the right answer... A. You're both wrong.
Jason: Really?
Chico: Really.
Alex: That one was kinda tough, I had no idea.
Gordon: I guess we just got Boxed in.
Chico: But hey, he didn't lose anything.
Jason: ok.
Chico: He still has the $25,000. So yeah, he didn't lose anything.
Jason: I thought we had more bones.
Chico: Nope. 5 in the lumbar. Took a course that said that.
Gordon: Did the course have anything on winning $100,000 in a cooking
competition?
Chico: Nope. I learned that on my own. Tee hee. Top Chef's finale was this week,
and I'm happy to say... I saw the episodes leading up to it!
Jason: How?
Chico: They had the Bravo in VA.
Jason: and so did I. On my flight to Jet Blue. Also saw the Christian Siriano
season of PR.
Chico: Heh. I should fly JetBlue, shouldn't I?
Jason: Yeah. They have Bravo and Terra Chips.
Alex: Probably one of the few affordable ones left since the recent hike in
prices.
Chico: I ... didn't see the finale, though, as we left Wednesday afternoon. Awww.
Jason: Yeah.
Chico: But I heard that there was this one chick... who just blew everyone away.
What went down, G?
Gordon: You had Stephanie Izard, Richard Blais, and Lisa Fernandes. Stephanie,
who won the most challenges, Richard, who used gastronomy to get to the finals,
and Lisa, who kept surviving due to other chefs faltering. Lisa will once again
get that benefit, as Richard admitted to choking in the final challenge
Jason: which was?
Chico: She wasn't the chick that I was referring to, though.
Gordon: That leaves Lisa and Stephanie, which means that Top Chef will, for the
first time in it's history, have a female champion. The champion is...Stephanie
Izard! Stephanie wins $100,000.
Chico: She's the chick I heard about. I believe Red Snapper and Quail with
Lobster Ravioli beats prawns and Tom Kha Gai soup.
Jason: Yummy.
Gordon: Yes, but Lisa works in the NYC area, so if you want to try her cooking
for yourself, go to Mai House.
Chico: Will do, chief. Stephanie, who isn't at a restaurant... yet... will
probably get a deal from this somehow.
Gordon: And if you want to check out country music, where should I be going?
Jason: Doesn't Steph also get the vacation in France...a spread in a mag or
something like that?
Chico: A spread in Food & Wine magazine, $100,000 cash money, and a culinary
tour of the French Alps.
Gordon: We go from Wine Country to Country Music.
Jason: Nice schwag. Nashville Star.
Alex: Oh god...that thing. I had a friend who wanted to watch it because she
used to enjoy Jewel, so I suffered through it for about a half hour. When did
Jewel develop a country accent?
Chico: I ... I don't know. That's... that's just weird!
Alex: I was laughing my ass off. She just turned on a country accent out of no
where. It's like Hillary Clinton or something.
Chico: You noticed that, too? Almost as if she pulled herself down a peg to
judge. Seems what the female judge is apt to do... unless you're Carrie Ann
Inaba, but enough about her.
Gordon: I noticed she was excruciatingly flat when she was singing.
Chico: Who, Jewel?
Gordon: Yes
Chico: Ah.
Alex: I must have missed that part thankfully.
Gordon: And I could say the same thing on a number of singers.
Chico: But for those uninitiated... the network changed, the judges changes, the
host always changes... but the format did not, right?
Gordon: Right. The first episode the judges always make the first elimination.
Then the audience determines the rest.
Chico: And another thing that apparently hasn't changed... the appeal. It ranked
a .. hold on, I need the map here. Ah. here we are.. 6.6 million viewers. The
GOOD news... That's the largest audience for an episode of Nashville Star EVER.
The BAD news... so far as network standards during the summertime... it's modest
at best.
Jason: I think that the numbers are misleading...let's see what happens next
week. I don't think this was a failure ratings wise.
Chico: No, it wasn't a failure at all, to me at least... it was a wash. The
audience grew for the show, shrank for the network in dire need of something
other than DOND.... It was a wash.
Gordon: We'll see what next week brings. As for the singers, who do you like?
Chico: I've only seen 30 minutes of it. And I missed Jewel as well, so color me
lucky, I suppose. Which singers do you like, G?
Gordon: You know what I find ironic? Remember when Billy Ray said that the show
was miles better than American Idol?
Chico: Let me guess... It wasn't.
Gordon: Apparently, they had no problem using contestants who were on American
Idol
Jason: Ah ha.
Chico: REALLY NOW!
Jason: Like whom?
Gordon: One of the better singers on the show was Coffey, aka Coffey Anderson,
who auditioned on American Idol while waiting for his kid to be born.
Chico: Obviously he didn't pass muster on that show, but he's still alive here.
Which says to me... standards... lower.
Jason: Maybe.
Gordon: I also like Melissa Lawson and Laura and Sophie.
Chico: Cool. I trust your ear... One thing I'm not going to trust anymore... the
EMT that's supposed to save my life when I conk out. Or the firefighter that's
also supposed to save my life when I conk out.
Jason: Is that the Moment of Truth?
Chico: Yes. Yes it is.
Gordon: It is - that is if you don't mind your EMT who fills out false reports
or your fire fighter that doesn't respond to emergency calls.
Chico: Yay.
Jason: Boy oh boy.
Gordon: Despite that, Aaron the EMT walks out with $100,000.
Chico: And to his merit, the EMT did say that if it comes down to blood versus
his girlfriend... He's choose blood. Didn't go over well with the girl, but..
yeah.
Jason: GF was not happy. Mormon > Jewish. Correct?
Chico: At least he says so.
Gordon: Correct - and Family > Gf
Chico: As for the firefighter... Mary Beth Kraese... She leaves with nothing
after "lying" on a question... You have the question, G?
Gordon: I do...
Since you've been married, have you lost sexual attraction to your husband?
Jason: She said no. I bet.
Chico: "That answer is... FALSE."
Jason: That's a bad one to go out on.
Chico: OH YEAH.
Alex: One of the best things the show's website does is show the future
questions, had they played on. http://fox.com/momentoftruth/ We might have had
another Laura Cleri.
Jason: What was the next question?
Alex: Her next question would have been "Have you ever wished you were married
to a former lover instead of your husband?"
Chico: Yikes.
Alex: One of Aaron's next questions would have been "If Nicole (the girlfriend)
were to gain twenty pounds, would you still date her?"
Jason: Hoo boy.
Chico: Hell, I would.
Alex: Damn straight.
Jason: She was cute.
Alex: But yeah. I still feel dirty watching the show, but I still enjoy it.
Chico: One of the things about this particular episode that stood out for me...
And it speaks to the state of the economics of television game shows...
Jason: ok
Chico: Aaron's stack was taped using FilmLook... Mary Beth's stack was just
taped.
Jason: How do you know?
Chico: You can look at these things and tell. It's not hard to figure out.
Alex: The time in tape difference was a long time, though. Aaron's was taped
really early in the series. The fatty questions were teased since before the
show started. Beth's show was taped recently.
Jason: Well as you know all reality shows are feeling the pinch.
Chico: But if you're going to edit a show that way... at least do a better job
of it, right? Or maybe it's the cinematographer in me that's speaking.
Jason: maybe
Chico: But damned if it doesn't work. Put together pieces of other shows... get
big ratings. Worked last summer with 5th Grader, too.
Alex: I just have an issue with the recent trend of self contained primetime
game shows. It completely destroys a good deal of the drama since you know
people won't be going far when you look at the clock.
Gordon: We've been doing said countdown at the end of shows. And I agree that
it's annoying. But going back to 5th grader, we see that the Hamsters have their
own little 5th grade chairs.
Chico: They must've read the copy ahead of time. I wasn't going to get to that
until the Casting Couch. Oh well.
Gordon: Gordon Jr. and Chairman are fighting over the valedictorian chair. Now
now, behave.
Jason: lol
Chico: That's cool too... Okay, G. Make news go now.
Gordon: Roll That Beautiful Brain Footage
(Doug:
Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your
frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico
Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)
Chico: Thanks, Doug. First up, G?
Gordon: First up - who wants dates?
Chico: Right here. There's a big star by the 17th.
On
the 17th, we have America's Got Talent. on the 19th, the official start of
America's Best Dance Crew, Season 2
Chico: Sounds like a killer lineup.
Jason: And watch the NY auditions!
Chico: Pay close particular attention to the NY auditions.
Gordon: What Jason is trying to say is that Jason, who continues to whore
himself to all forms of media, may have another outlet to scare all of you with.
Alex: lol
Jason: We were both there big man! You were doing the same thing!
Gordon: I'm not trumpeting it.
Jason: LOL
Gordon: I just let my natural beauty shine for itself. I don't need to tell
everyone about it. They will be so stunned that they, like in The Happening,
will slobber all over their TV sets basking in my natural beauty.
Chico: But the Happening sucked!
Gordon: Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.
Chico: Who's talking about you, I'm talking about "The Happening!" :-)
Gordon: Ah. Speaking of Happenings, what's happening all over the world?
Chico: Let's find out, shall we? Let's go to Ireland, home of the wee people...
Celtics... and Bill Cullen.
Jason: Ok
Chico: We should preface this by saying ... Not THAT Bill Cullen.
Bill
Cullen, founder and CEO of Renault Ireland, will front his own version of The
Apprentice. Expect that this fall on TV3.
Jason: Think a car may be in the future for the winner?
Chico: Maybe. I'm busy looking at the $154,000 contract that's on the line.
Jason: Still pretty.
Gordon: That...is pretty. Who's up for ugly?
Jason: Bring on da ug.
Chico: Wait.. *closes eyes* Okay
Are
You Smarter Than...American Idol 4 Finalist Third Placed FInished Vonzell
Solomon, who decides that it would be fun to bring to an airport..a purse...with
an unloaded gun inside.
Jason: Leave the guns at home, kids.
Gordon: I love the response to this btw, by her father.
Chico: Oh dear...
'Vonzell wants everyone to know that this was an honest mistake. She had a
big purse and just didn't realize that the gun was in it.'
Jason: ROFLMAO! HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW A GUN IS IN YOUR BAG? LOL
Chico: Kids and their big purses.
Jason: Hmmm....let's see...checkbook.... gum.... pistol. Yup all there. LOL
Gordon: I usually don't bring a big gun with me - and if I did, I think I may
know where it was at all times. Though I do have one...in my pants.
Chico: Yeah, that's where the joke was going. instantrimshot.com.
Gordon: But apparently, someone's gun in their pants is just a water pistol.
Jason: do tell?
Matt
Grant aka, the latest Bachelor, has moved out of fiance's Shayne Lamas' condo.
The official word from Matt - They are still engaged, he just needs some room to
grow.' Who's buying this one?
Jason: Not me, G.
Alex: He needs room to grow with other women who aren't her.
Jason: Alex wins.
Chico: Doesn't this always start out with "I need to find my own space?"
Jason: Pretty much
Chico: Next thing you know, you find someone else in their own space. Then a
whole mess of problems erupts.
Alex: It's then followed by "We need to talk", "It's not you, it's me", or "You
have a great personality".
Jason: And then "I love you like a brother."
Alex: haha, forgot that one. Perfect.
Chico: Then comes "I'm Joey Greco with Cheaters."
Alex: If only. We'd have a fun day here.
Gordon: And then, after being busted, you'd get Fully Loaded.
Chico: Hic. We're crossing the pond with this one.
If
you're in the UK... and you have a cell phone... and you like game shows...
Gameloft is bringing 1 vs. 100 to your phone.
Jason: Sounds like fun.
Gordon: What if I'm in the UK and I want to have Gordon Ramsay yell at me?
Chico: Then we have a game for that too.
Gordon: Woo hoo
Jason: We do?
You can see it for yourself at playhk.com
Gordon: Can we see Media Hoes there, too?
Chico: Sure we can. First, though... a Couch run.
Gordon: Well lets, then...
Are
You Smarter Than a 5th Grader? is looking for its class of 2009. Go to fox.com/smarter
for more details on that.
Gordon: And then, you can look these Media Hoes up...
In
this week's Media Ho Report, Mario Lopez and Karina Smirnoff call it quits,
Monta Mino logs the most hours of live TV in a week (22), Sharon Osbourne quits
The X Factor, The Celebrity Feud Lineup is posted, Tim Russert passes...
(silence)
Carrie Underwood adds 51 more stops to her current tour, and Jamie and Rayven
are the first 2 people bounced from So You Think You Can Dance. Clay Aiken is
planning a SECOND baby with Jaymes Foster, and Tila Tequila says that it's
because of her that California lifted it's gay marriage ban.
Jason: Tila thinks it was because of HER?????
Gordon: We all have our illusions, far be it for me to take away hers.
Jason: Oooooook....
Chico: Three words, Tila. Get. Over. Yourself.
Gordon: But none of them are your Ho Of The Week.
Chico: Interesting to figure out who.
Jason: Yes...who is it?
Gordon: The Ho is...Brody Jenner.
Jason: Bruce's kid.
Chico: Half-brother of Kim Kardashian, who's known for having a big ass and a
sex tape.
Gordon: First of all, he's made famous because of his appearance in The Hills,
which makes him a ho all by himself. Now he's conducting a show looking for a 'Bromance'
with a new BFF.
Jason: Taking lessons from Paris Hilton...never a good idea.
Chico: MTV greenlights this for six shows.
Gordon: Complete with bros being eliminated in a hot tub. Am I the only one who
feels icky about this?
Chico: No.
Jason: No... I need a shower... can we get away from this?
Gordon: We can - but I'm not sure what's coming up next is going to be better...
Chico: True. Let's get to something else that makes me go... "You Greenlit
THAT?!"
Gordon: And this is really going to make us say that - as Alex is going to find
out.
Chico: Oh. I think he knows.
Alex: I've tried to drink so much to forget it. I can't.
Gordon: Ill give you a hint...Meouch.
Jason: This is pretty well...dumb.
GSN
has greenlit a competition between cat owners and their furry friends. Sponsored
by Meow Mix. The winner could win one million dollars. It's called, for lack of
a better title... "The Meow Mix Game Show".
Gordon: Can I have a Big Bored please?
Going to the Cats
- Round 1: Food Challenge
- Round 2: Leopardy!
- Round 3: ANything for Kitty Litter
- Round 4: Meal or No Meal
|
Gordon: The Subject: Going to the Cats. This is
far from the Cat's Meow. We'll break this show down and tell you why this is
going to be one of the biggest disasters of 2008.
Jason: Go on. And I am a cat lover...and I think this is STOOPID.
Gordon: Round 1. We have 8 cat owners. We have 8 bowls. The 3 CATS who finish
the bowls first move on.
Jason: Ok... So it's a food challenge
Gordon: So to determine who wins a million dollars, you better starve your cat,
because 62.5% of you will be eliminated if your kitty isn't hungry enough.
Alex: Just take it by the handful and shove it in the cat's mouth using force.
It's for a million! Grrrr!!!
Chico: That's nice
Jason: What's next?
Gordon: Round 2: 6 Cat-egories. 5 questions ranging from 10 to 50 points on Cat
Trivia. Does this sound familiar?
Jason: Leopardy?
Gordon: It's called 'Are You Smarter Than a Cat'. You could easily call this
'Are You Smarter Than a Meow Mix Programming Executive'.
Chico: Oh! Oh! ... Yes. Yes I am.
Gordon: Round 3: 'Think Like a Cat'. The final 2 contestant's cats are taped in
different scenarios. The contestants wager points in predicting what their cats
are going to do next. Does this sound familiar?
Jason: Yes...but I forget the game.
Gordon: Anything for Kitty Litter.
Alex: The fun part is you're not allowed to bet more than half your points for
the first two videos. The rules specifically state "As to not go bankrupt".
Gordon: Ooh. Faux suspense to make things interesting going into the last
question.
Alex: "As to not go bankrupt", IE "So we don't have to fill five minutes of
time". because you know you don't want to waste any precious second of
predicting a cat's behavior.
Chico: Of course
Gordon: And finally...a Meow Mix Million Dollar Challenge. You have 10 bags of
food. 2 of them have matching symbols. The bags are selected by the
contestant...and the cat.
Gordon: If the contestant and the cat choose the same symbol, they win a
million.
Jason: Mewl...or no Mewl.
Gordon: All I have to say is that this is going to be...a Cat-astrophe. And this
could leave the viewer cat-atonic.
Jason: You stole my line :-)
Alex: It's obvious that they are doing some deal with Meow Mix to get money out
of them. But seriously, GSN? A million dollar cat game show. I never thought
we'd come to this.
Gordon: I hope Meow Mix is paying GSN a LOT of money.
Chico: You all but cancelled poker for THIS?!
Alex: And Lingo. and Chain Reaction. And more.
Gordon: Supposedly, this is only a one shot deal. It's still one shot too many.
Chico: I guarantee you Meow Mix is not going to see a return on this.
Gordon: Who's Your Daddy is starting to sound palatable.
Alex: I miss How Much is Enough because of this. They made me miss How Much is
Enough.
Gordon: And since we can't use this on the kittens...here Chico...
Chico: Need ... to find... happy.
Gordon: (Hands over the bat)
Chico: Ah, here's happy.
Gordon: It's the happy bat.
Happy
with the performance on Top Chef... Bravo is serving up Top Chef Junior, which
will find the best upcoming chef aged 13-16. See.. that's happy, right?
Jason: it is. I like this idea. Kids LOVE to cook. and this will be a positive
influence on them.
Gordon: Lots of happy. And the great thing about kids - they haven't learned
tact yet.
Chico: And it's... yeah, what J said. It's like Kid Nation... with frying pans.
Gordon: I also like this -
Project Runway 5: July 16.
Jason: Let me tell you something. I watched the Siriano season. Fun fun stuff.
Gordon: And that ends Brainvision. Shut it Down.
Jason: Shutting down.
Chico: Started with Talent. Ended with cats. And cooking with cats. Gives me an
idea for a break.
Jason: Oh no.
Gordon: Gives me one too :-)
Jason: Oh no.
Chico: Still to come... We salute dads with Whose Your Daddy, but up next.. All
this talk about cats is giving me a headache. This is We Love to Interrupt...
the ONLY web show... :-)
(Brainvision is powered by Cook with ALF... 100 recipes for your cat.
Everything from tabby pot pie to ragout of Burmese)
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