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Previous Episodes (Season 18)
May 26 - Episode #200

June 2 - The Trial of Larissa Kelly/Heads or Tails/Push or Flush (2)

June 16 - Father's Day/Maximum Strength Capsule Reviews/Who's Your Daddy?
 

The GSNN guys are taking over the world... one game show at a time. Comments are always welcomed here!

Hosted by Chico Alexander and Gordon Pepper, and featuring the editors/contributors to GSNN
 


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Episode 18.3
June 16

Chico: Hey there, gang. I'm Chico Alexander... and my secret talent... I sing. While juggling rollabollaballs.
Gordon: What is a rollabollaball?
Chico: It's like the Balance Board... with a ball underneath.
Gordon: Are you trying to make that a new highlight for America's Got Talent?
Chico: If they'll have me. :)
Gordon: I also have a talent. I can do openers. Wanna hear one?
Chico: I wanna hear one!
Gordon: From somewhere in the wardrobe of The Slippery Kittens, this edition of WLTI...is...ON!
Chico: Whoo!
Gordon: Gordon Pepper here, along with Chico, as we go through the highs and lows of this week in game show history. We start with a high AND a low.
Chico: A high AND a low? Interesting. Elaborate.
Gordon: The High - America's Got Talent. NBC's Summer Cash Cow has come back to once again take the ratings crown.
Chico: Opposite a really killer basketball game no less. (To the people of Los Angeles... my apologies.)
Gordon: The lows...the talent in some of the cities - including Los Angeles, so I'm not THAT sorry.
Chico: Yeah. I... uh... noticed.
Gordon: Now one of the interesting things about this season is that I attended the New York audition tapings.
Chico: We saw. It was you, Jason Block, and Sharon Osbourne's head sharing screen time five minutes in.
Gordon: Myself and Jason Block were there - and you got to see us boo Bill Curlee off the stage
Chico: Refresh our memories. What did Bill Curlee do?
Gordon: He was the Tom Jones that sounded more like Paula Jones.
Chico: AAAAAAAHHHHH!
Gordon: That pretty much does it. The funny thing is that Jason and I both saw a bunch of people that we thought could be million dollar winners. They...haven't been on your TV yet.
Chico: You didn't like the dancing trumpeter?
Gordon: It was a trombonist, and no, we didn't. Well I didn't. As for one of the talents I did like, the little 4 year old girl was in NYC, and one thing amazing about that...you know that background synthesizer music?
Chico: Yeah. What about it?
Gordon: It...was edited in. There was no background music when 4 year old Kaitlynn Maher sang it. She sang Somewhere Out There A CAPELLA.
Chico: Really now. That seems... well, rather awkward.
Gordon: Really and truly
Chico: Unless Kaitlynn Maher was on point. Granted, she was... but one person doing a cappella... unless they had a metronome in their head at that age...I couldn't see them being THAT perfect.
Gordon: She was amazing, that's why the audience went nuts. There were only a few that made the audience that nuts. There was a lot of editing on that first show. There was also a lot that you didn't get to see. I'll wait until AGT is done with all of the audition segments (because they may be saving stuff for later), but there's a lot of good stuff that's yet to be seen.
Chico: Wouldn't surprise me.
Gordon: And this gets me to wonder a little. We have opera man and 4 year old little girl. Does that seem familiar to you?
Chico: To answer your question... yes. Opera Man is Paul Potts, winner of Britain's Got Talent and worldwide phenom. Little girl... didn't she win season 2?
Gordon: She did, didn't she. Of course, we had a little girl win season 1
Chico: Yeah, but she was slightly older. Wonder what Bianca Ryan's doing nowadays...
Gordon: (Shrugs). What else you got?
Chico: A Big Board, if you please.


America's Got Shenanigans

- New York Auditions... not in New York
- Continuity... not continuous
 

Chico: Anywho, as you could probably guess, this Board is called "America's Got Shenanigans."
Gordon: Yay!
Chico: Remember the Idol season when they had auditions in New Orleans and Memphis AND they publicized it as the NOLA auditions?
Gordon: Sure do.
Chico: Methinks that's what's going to happen to these auditions. And Piers Morgan will prove it to me by a quote he made earlier about continuity and "wearing the same clothes"... something he accused fellow judge David Hasselhoff of not doing. Guy also thinks the Hoff is too orange. You know?
Gordon: We'll talk about 'too orange' later on in the show. But going back to your point, I can easily see that happening - just like I could also see happening some more controversy - this time in Last Comic Standing, where you have had comics complain that their act was shown like they were in front of judges.
Chico: Do tell.
Gordon: Only one problem here - there were never in front of the judges - but in front of the producers instead. The editors took a small piece of what they did and made it APPEAR like they performed in front of the judges, who hated them. I have a major problem with this.
Chico: Hold on...This also sounds like a bit Idol did in the past =p
Gordon: There's a major difference though.
Chico: That being...
Gordon: Here's the difference. in Idol, you KNEW they were bad, and the small clip of them singing was enough to prove it. In LCS, it seems like they got to the judges when they actually didn't, and the comedians are complaining that the act was taken out of context, so it could have been a good act but the small clip in itself would make it look like they were bad.
Chico: Hmm... I can understand their being pissed off, and here's why. You figure that people on LCS, they've more than likely had a couple of shots in the past to get their foot in the door, and this tape only serves to hold them back.
Gordon: Not only that, but these are people who get work on their name. Let's just say that Jon Doe did a 5 second thing which was dumb and that's all we saw of him. Now you see that he's playing in North Carolina - and the only time you've heard of him is a doctored 5 second segment that you didn't know was doctored. Would you go see him?
Chico: If the only time I've seen him was a doctored clip... Of course not. Why would I waste a good $7 on that? Even with the two-drink minimum...Would you?
Gordon: Absolutely not. So basicaly, a comedian could lose money because his reputation and work is being intentionally misrepresented?
Chico: For fun and profit =p. Sounds about right. And you wonder why he's angry.
Gordon: I think a good lawyer could have a very good lawsuit against Last Comic Standing
Chico: Just to reiterate, one comic in question: The Amazing Arthur. Just making sure we get that out. And the clip is online http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WNFz9FGnviI And there was another, Gretchen & Egbert. List goes on and on...
Gordon: True. Shall we see another show with some controversy attached to it this week?
Chico: Yes. Back to more controversy.
Gordon: Did you see The Ultimate Fighter finale this past Saturday night?
Chico: Yes I did. On the hi-def.
Gordon: First of all, congratulations to Amir Sadollah, who wins UFC 7 against C.B. Dollaway. BUT.
Chico: BUT.
Gordon: In the finale, C.B. gets called for tapping out in the match due to an armbar. Only one problem here - C.B. immediately calls foul, saying words that we wil not print here, but the translation into something printable inferred that he didn't tap out.
Gordon: Did you see him tap out?
Chico: I think he tapped the mat... twice. NOW. As a background check.. According to UFC rules...A tapout (or "submission") is when a fighter taps on the mat or his opponent three times (or more) or verbally submits.
Gordon: The word here is...'three'
Chico: That's the magic word. That didn't look like three to me.
Gordon: I didn't even see two. I saw him touch his leg once, on a repositioning to move his arm to try to get out of the hold.
Chico: And they said that was a tapout. I didn't HEAR a submission either.
Gordon: And here's where I have an issue - there is NO way, with a 6 figured contract on the line, that you should call an end of the fight based on a single tap. The submission needs to be definitive - and that clearly was not definitive.
Chico: So yeah, that much bravado.. that much testosterone, that much pride on the line...I'd have words too. If I were CB, I'd contest the result.
Gordon: And what would make him madder is if he saw the show, the announcers were trumpeting the victory of Amir before he even got to the mat.
Chico: Yeah, i saw that too... You don't think for a second that they were setting him, do ya? A reality show setting up a result? Who'd'a believe it? Heh.
Gordon: Now CB wasn't even supposed to be at the finals. The person who was supposed to be there was Jesse Taylor - who got yanked out of the spot after he caused some damage in Vegas the night after the tapings that ended the series.
Chico: Interesting
Gordon: I think they were ready to anoint Amir. Now I don't think that a UFC group would fix a match, but the ending sure doesn't make things look too good for the UFC.
Chico: Neither does a former Octagon Girl taking $30,000 and splitting a network game show.
Gordon: That would be Ali, would it not?
Chico: Yeah, that would. Shocker of shockers, there still was an execution that night, and Bobby O'Donnell left. Which pokes a hole in your "big hooters" theory.
Gordon: That would also be the first time that 2 people got cut from The Mole. If you've seen the ratings though, maybe it was Ali's way of departing a sinking ship.
Chico: Doubtful. This was taped way in advance of the sinking ship. And besides, it's not the first time someone left for a bribe. Remember Elavia Bello in season 2 of the original series? Granted, there wasn't an execution that time, but still...there's a hole in your "big hooters" theory.
Gordon: True. Maybe Paul's the mole. He's got some impressive man-boobs.
Chico: No. Comment.
Gordon: He's got the biggest boobs of anyone who's left.
Chico: Ba dum bum. Anyway, to be fair, I'll roll a clip of something I said on this page as well...

(CLIP!)
Chico: I personally want to think that this is the year for Cinderella to take the Cab to the finish.Jason: It would be a big upset.
Gordon: And...it not going to happen. With Bob Barker no longer eligible to add to hiw trophy stack, this is the year of Jeopardy and Alex trebek.
Chico: It's almost like Gordon being civil, Cash Cab winning an Emmy. Nice thought and all, and we'd all like to see it... but it just won't happen.
(END CLIP!)


Chico: ... Shows what we know. The Daytime Emmy winners were announced this week. The awards we care about were actually announced LAST week. I'll get to that in a bit. BUT...Outstanding Game Show Host... Alex Trebek for "Jeopardy!". Outstanding Game Show... Upset of upsets... Cash Cab. Good show, mind you, but we didn't realistically expect it, hence the phrase "upset".
Gordon: I think it's a massive upset.
Chico: Now this is the part where I will graciously accept dropping the ball on this and say something like "We're sorry... Our bad." This is also where Gordon would say something like....
Gordon: I wasn't completely wrong. Trebek DID win Game Show Host of the Year.
Chico: You were half-right :)
Gordon: Better than all wrong
Chico: If you were basing it on that, I was half-right as well. But it's all semantics now.
Gordon: We were...half right
Chico: Of course, if you were watching ABC last Friday, you probably didn't even know there was a game show award... and I have a problem with that.
Gordon: You mean game show awards exist?
Chico: Oh yeah. You see, when the awards are on CBS, they're handing these babies out hand over fist. NBC, it's a 50/50 shot. ABC... nothing. Seems like the show itself was just a pimpfest for love in the afternoon and the View more than anything. And it spits on the face of the genre and what it's accomplished over the last year.
Gordon: And add more controversy to this. So the industry doesn't like game shows because it's not considered 'real' programming. Well, it's what saved your TV season, so give it some credit.
Chico: At least ABC doesn't consider it real programming. Never mind that they didn't show a game show proper love since Super Jeopardy! in 1990. And even I think THAT was suspect. I didn't see the finale until it was GSN's GOTW. So ABC hasn't shown a game show proper love since ... oh, Family Feud. Millionaire was overplayed...Duel was strike filler...Don't get me started on the Bachelor...
Gordon: They're too busy convincing us that watching Cavemen from an auto insurance commercial would be great television.
Chico: Dancing With The Stars... okay, Dancing is the exception that proves the rule. But ABC... ABC don't like us. J'accuse, ABC. One thing we did like this week.... ABDC.
Gordon: We did. I did anyways.
Chico: America's Best Dance Crew is back for another season of stomping the yard.
Chico: Good fun there.
Chico: Any favorites so far? Me? I'm a fan of Fanny Pak... only because they're retro =p
Gordon: Well, we had some controversy here also - but it was predictable controversy. What happens to the teams that you accuse of making their favorites go away?
Chico: You want to run that by me again?
Gordon: Fanny Pak was the reason why Team Millenia (the newest Kaba Modern) got eliminated, and the audience rained boos upon the judges.
Chico: Yeah.
Gordon: Distorted X was the reason why HISstory was eliminated, and the boos rained down upon the judges. Where, do you suppose, those 2 teams finished in the voting?
Chico: Dead last? Sorry. One of them finished dead last. The other... maybe third to last.
Gordon: Something like that. But the judges yelled at America, telling them that the wrong 2 dance crews were at the bottom.
Chico: But it serves the adage true... can't complain if you don't vote. Didn't stop the crowd though. But hey, it's a competition. These things will happen.
Gordon: I don't think they were down there as much as talent as much as it was a backlash from what the judges did last week.
Chico: Who should've been in the bottom two? I got one I wanna put down there right now. Sass X 7. Cheerleaders who didn't want to be pigeonholed.... yet they did cheer moves.
Gordon: No offense to NJ Colleges, but Sashx7 needed to be there.
Chico: Oh yeah. See, folks? We agree on things.
Gordon: Sometimes.
Chico: And the other?
Gordon: You got room for some Phr3sh Select down there?
Chico: I got some room for Phr3sh Select.
Gordon: Sloppy, sloppy, sloppy.
Chico: Sorry, but what they did was neither phr3sh... nor select.
Gordon: It was more like 5 week old coffee grounds.
Chico: And stale beer. TOGETHER.
Gordon: We. Expect. Better.
Chico: The WockeeZ set the bar, folks. Simple as that.
Gordon: Our hamsters could do better than that - as a matter of fact, they've set up a nice fur snake.

(*hamsters do fur snake*)

Gordon: isn't that slick?
Chico: That's hot. Ladies and gentlemen... "The 1s & 2s" of Brainvision News... Start it up, dawg.
Gordon: Roll That Beautiful Brain Footage, DAWG.

(Doug: Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)

Chico: Thanks, Dawg... err Doug. First up... a You Greenlit That?! that apparently has the blogosphere creaming their pants. Heh... Gross.

Match Game has revealed its roster from the pilot that shot this week...and it seems they're playing from the Game Show Marathon playbook. That is "characterize the seats, then sit the characters."

Gordon: Boooooo
Chico: Hey... it worked, didn't it?
Gordon: ...no. No, it didn't.
Chico: Well... I thought it worked myself. But that's just me.
Gordon: I have a new concept that may be foreign to the producers of most current game shows that feaultre celebrities. What about actually...having people who KNOW how to play before you worry about personalities?
Chico: Well, we haven't seen the pilot, so how do we know that they DON'T know how to play? Anyway, here's what got so many pop culture observers so ... crazy up in that...Need another Big Board..


Match Game 2009

- Super Dave = some guy
- Sarah Silverman = BS
- Scott Thompson = CNR
- Rashida Jones = Fourth-chair hotness
- Norm MacDonald = RD
- Niecy Nash = some chick
 

Chico: This one's called "Match Game 2009"...We have Super Dave Osborne in the generic #1 seat...Sarah Silverman in the Brett Sommers seat...Scott Thompson (Kids in the Hall) in the Charles Nelson-Reilly seat...Rashida Jones in the Fourth-Seat-Hottie seat. Norm MacDonald in the Richard Dawson seat... and Niecy Nash in the #6 seat. Again, nothing's certain here. So far, this is all we know. Hell, we don't even know if they took those seats.
Gordon: The only people who give me hope are Silverman and McDonald. The rest...meh.
Chico: Not a fan of KITH?
Gordon: I like KITH. The problem is that I think he's going to play it for laughs, instead of playing it to try to get right answers.
Chico: Lest we forget that Match Game is played for laughs anyway. As was admitted by the 70's principals.
Gordon: There's a difference between laughs as in good answers and laughs as in dopey answers.
Chico: The only suggestion that I could come up with to help this along... Hire Dick DeBartolo. Or at least someone with his mindset.
Gordon: What about hiring people who create obstacle courses?
Chico: ... Go on.
Gordon: I got my Date Book right here, and it says...

This week coming up? Lots of shows. Celebrity Family Feud, I Survived a Japanese Game Show and Wipeout all show up June 24. Season 2 of Shear Genius is on June 25, with Dance Machine coming in on June 27 and the Singing Offics on June 29.

Chico: Hey, there's a little pic of you banging your head on a desk on Friday. Under it it says "Duel".
Gordon: *headdesk*
Chico: Yeah, like that!
Gordon: WHY, ABC, WHY??????
Chico: One word... Burnoff.
Gordon: Oh yeah. You want to see Duel Burn-Off? Catch it on Fridays. And no, for the people who are reading, this does NOT mean that ABC is thinking about a third season.
Chico: It simply means... Burnoff. So Gordon... big fan of Greenie that he is... better get your fill while you can.
Gordon: They are thinking about how they can get an electronic version of it to try to recoup their losses.
Chico: Just... sell it off to a better network. Cut and run while you're still... ahead?
Gordon: I'm guessing Mike Greenberg, after seeing the ratings of Duel before it got yanked, got fully loaded.
Chico: Yep.

(bubble with Jason Block's head) Hic.

Chico: How'd that get there?
Gordon: We stole it from Vh1?
Chico: Probably. We steal everything else :-)
Gordon: ...ok then.
Chico: Anyway...

If you're a fan of the Biggest Loser and you have a Wii... Good news. Jillian Michaels is putting her name on a new fitness title that utilizes the Wii's new balance board. Expect it this fall.

Chico: I've tried the board out... Tell you, Gordon... you don't know what you're missing.
Gordon: Sore arms, torn ligaments and a wounded ego when I see that 6 year olds can do this better than I can?
Chico: ... Yeah. Think about it.
Gordon: Oh. Ruptured spleen. I can't forget about the ruptured spleen.
Chico: ... ok then.
Gordon: But let's wound someone's ego, shall we?
Chico: Yes. And in honor of Tim Russert... your chalkboard is now... a whiteboard.
Gordon: Nice...Are You Smarter Than...

David Hasselhoff, who apparently, according to Piers Morgan, applied a spray on tan...in between a TV taping.

Chico: Going back to what he said about "continuity".
Gordon: Maybe he wanted the color of his skin to match the buns of the cheeseburgers he likes to eat while lying in the middle of the floor.
Chico: Naked.
Gordon: Don't need naked. This is fun. Want to do this again?
Chico: Okay!
Gordon: Are You Smarter Than...

Alexandra De-Gale, the latest person to get kicked off of a Big Brother show. This time, it's in London, and this time, she says that her 'gangster friends' would come after anyone who voted her out. Her Gangster friends can go after the producers, who yanked her right after she made those comments.

Chico: Here's one for ya... Wannabe gangsters heckle the heck out of TV producers.
Chico: Because, you know... getting a real life would be far more difficult.... go figure. Wanna go somewhere else?
Gordon: Let's go country. We have angry songs in country, don't we?
Chico: Sure we do. Most of them involve running over someone in their pickup truck
Gordon: And in this case...

It seems like Third Town wants to run over John Rich for slamming them, despite having to run over there for a last second gig to even be on Nashville Star. They have words for the producers, too, who were upset that they had to squeeze 7 minutes worth of song into a 70 second performance.

Chico: Again, nature of the beast. Deal.
Gordon: You got 70 seconds. Make the most of them. And to you people who want to audition, make sure you have 70 second segments that you can perform well. I mean really really well.
Chico: And if you can't take criticism... well, best not to show up at all.
Gordon: Or show up somewhere else. Like where, Chico?
Chico: How about India, where they're dancing in the streets for their newest quiz show heroine...

Pragjyoti Samal has become the first in that country (and probably worldwide) to answer all 11 questions on their version of "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader" to win their big prize, R1 million... or about $23,000.

Gordon: Congratulations!
Chico: I just wish I knew what the question was.
Gordon: Where can you find the most number of media hos?
Chico: Next weekend... Atlanta.

They're all trying out for Millionaire's Netflix Million Dollar Movie week... You should, too.

Gordon: If you're there, you should do it.
Chico: June 27 at Medieval times Dinner & Tournament. The Discover Mills Mall location. They're also auditioning for "Famous Names" week, "Halloween Week", and "Three Generations" week. So... something to think about and a little preview of the next season. Oh, and lest I forget "Wedding Week"
Gordon: Any season is a good season to talk about Media Hoes.
Chico: *plays "Pimpin All Over The World"*

In this week's Hodometer, Paula Abdul is now single, Celebrity Jeopardy player Tim Russert passes, Pro Fan host Charlie Jones also passed on....

(silence)

John Davidson goes to Broadway, Laila Ali hosts The N's Student Body, 25 people get Hollywood stars - including Mark Burnett, Janet Jackson pitches a new reality talent show to MTV.

Gordon: But none of these people are your ho of the week.
Chico: Would these hoes be D-listers looking for their own show on Fox Reality? Because they have that, you know?
Gordon: Actually....no.
Chico: No?
Gordon: I'm saving that for when we get complete names on the celebrities.
Chico: Ah.
Gordon: The ho of the week is...Megan Cooper. She is a hooters girl. She will be on 'I Survived a Japanese Game Show', and ...she may be the reason why Mario Lopez and Karina Smirnoff broke up.
Chico: She dated Mario Lopez, didn't she?
Gordon: According to reports, she did.
Chico: Brother gets around, doesn't he?
Gordon: Apparently, Mario is a real swinger.
Chico: For a game show host who used to be on Saved by the Bell. Personally, I don't know who the bigger ho is.
Gordon: I'll make them Co-Hoes. How's that?
Chico: That works.
Gordon: And Those...are your hoes.
Chico: And that's Brainvision. Shut it down, Gordon.
Gordon: Shutting Down. What do we have when we come back from break?
Chico: Still to come, the economy's in a slump and needs to be stimulated. But first, we play with percentages and one of us puts his eye out.
Gordon: (gives Chico a BB gun)
Chico: This is We Love to Interrupt... America's Best Geek Crew.

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