Episode 18.5
July 7

Good morning. In less than an hour, aircraft from here will join others from around the world. And you will be launching the largest aerial battle in the history of mankind. "Mankind." That word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can't be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests. Perhaps it's fate that today is the Fourth of July, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom... Not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution... but from annihilation. We are fighting for our right to live. To exist. And should we win the day, the Fourth of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day the world declared in one voice: "We will not go quietly into the night!" We will not vanish without a fight! We're going to live on! We're going to survive! Today we celebrate our Independence Day!
- Bill Pullman as "President Thomas Whitmore"

Chico:     This is how we do it in the nuthouse. What's good, it's Chico... and I have two words for you... Joey Chestnut.
Gordon:     And in 30 minutes, he'll be roasting on an open fire as Kobayashi wins it.
Chico:     Joey Chestnut EATS j00.
Gordon:     I'd rather have Sonya Thomas eat me :)
Travis:     Aww...no you di-in.
Jason:     No way :)
Chico:     I wish. Speaking of hot dogs, everyone's a wiener here, because from Somewhere in America, the Happy 232nd Birthday, America! edition of WLTI... is... ON!
Gordon:     Anyways, so Chico, you know the script that I had for WLTI this week? The one I wrote up 48 hours ago?
Chico:     Right
Gordon:     (Takes Script. Puts it in Hamtaro Shredder.)
Jason:     What did you do that for?
Chico:     Choppler lining.
Travis:     Hamtaro needs fresh scraps every month or so.
Jason:     Besides that?
Chico:     Now we have to go in a completely DIFFERENT direction.
Jason:     Interesting choice of words.
Gordon:     We've had a lot of things occur in the past 48 hours. Joining us for the recapping - from Brooklyn, somewhere near Coney Island, Mr. Jason Block.
Jason:     Home of Nathan's Hot Dogs...and the Cyclone rollercoaster.
Chico:     And a man who's leaving the bitter cold of Ohio for the bitter heat of Hollywood... Mr. Travis Schario.
Travis:     Not so much bitter cold right now, but it's certainly raining. (*wearing a "Price" shirt with black armband*)
Gordon:     And speaking of bitter...that could accurately describe a number of Price is Right Fans, after a huge bombshell dropped late last week.
Chico:     Roger Dobkowitz, a man who's been the face behind the scenes of TPIR since the very beginning... is no longer with the show.
Travis:     Someone cue up the Losing Horns, please.
Jason:     This is the biggest news since...well Bob announced his retirement.
Gordon:     And unlike Bob Barker last year, he didn't retire. More like shoved off the Cliffhanger's Cliff.
Travis:     More or Less, yeah.
Gordon:     Now when someone who has been involved with a show for 37 years gets booted. It's because of 1 of 2 reasons. 1. He did something extraordinarily bad, or 2. He's the lynchpin keeping the organization from going in the dreaded 'different direction'.
Travis:     I vote for 2.
Jason:     And I vote for 2.
Chico:     What that direction is is anyone's guess, and it hasn't stopped people from expressing their displeasure... vocally. Travis, you have any further details about that?
Travis:     Here's what I know that I can say out loud...There apparently was a deal in place that the show remain basically the same for at least one year after Barker retired. There was only one person that still keeping it the same for that one year - Roger. That one year wrapped up at about 5 PM Wednesday afternoon.
Chico:     When the season finale wrapped.
Gordon:     And then, with the season over, that makes the job tenure of Roger over. And hence, the start of the 'new direction' for The Price is Right.
Travis:     I have to express a theory I have for this "new direction."
Chico:     What's your theory, Travis?
Travis:     This past December when I visited the show, I commented on the new set design.  Kept it classic, but made it more colorful. Roger told me that the company wanted to make the set more "American Idol-y". Now, with The Dob permanently stopped, it looks like that may actually happen.
Chico:     Yeah, but it's a huge might.
Travis:     The season wrapped on July 2.  The new season starts July 20.  Just about enough time to build a new set, right?
Jason:     Again...these are all "Ifs"
Chico:     Possibly, but I can't imagine anyone undoing 36 years of tradition in a single fortnight. Things just don't work that way.
Jason:     But This is where I will agree with Travis....if they go in that "dreaded new direction"...they are going to go full bore. Tradition be damned.
Chico:     And that's what has me a bit perturbed as to people calling this 'OMG it's the end everybody panic get your shotgun'.
Gordon: And this is where I blatantly disagree with you. (Grabs shotgun. Loads up ammunition).
Chico: Here we go...
Gordon:     Many people are very very unhappy. And I am one in the masses of unappeasement. I completely agree with Travis. I think people have the right to panic and it's time to bring out 'The Sky is Falling' Signs and go full bore.
Chico:     I know people have the right to panic. Should they? Not until we get to see what all the hubbub is about first hand.
Travis:     I may draw some enemies for this analogy, but I'm going to say it anyway...Roger Dobkowtiz : "The Price is Right :: Tim Russert : "Meet The Press". The glue that held the show together and made it what it is today. There I said it.
Gordon:    I got another equation. History states that Fremantle + Game Show Revivals = Trouble.
Jason:     I don't disagree with either, honestly.
Chico:     Me neither, but I have to say "One person does not a show make". It takes a team effort. I mean, this is the same crowd that cried foul when...I need a board. Can I get a board?

Chico:     Thanks. I'll call this "Hell Worthy Trespasses... or Not". Again, this is the same crowd that cried foul when a) Model after model was fired. b) Mark Goodson died...c) Bob Barker retired...d) Drew Carey was chosen...e) Johnny and Rod died.... f) Frank Wayne left the show. You see a pattern emerging?
Gordon:     Very good points. But Chico...
Chico: Yes?
Gordon:     I would like to be the Yang for your Yin. The Devil for Your Angel.
Chico: Ok.
Gordon:     Can I have a Big Bored please?

Gordon:     Subject: Fremantle = Dismantle
Travis:     Failmantle
Gordon:     Let's talk about a sampling of shows that Fremantle has produced over the years, shall we?
Travis:     Everyone get comfy.  This is gonna get brutal.
Gordon:     How did Game Show Marathon rock your world?
Chico:     Hmm.. Let me think about that. I'm done thinking.
Jason:     It didn't.
Chico:     *nods*
Gordon:     What about...Temptation: The All New Suck of the Century?
Travis:     Oh, you mean the amalgamation of all our favorite shows, that had nothing but a slight odor of "Sale"? *shudder*
Jason:     Check.
Chico:     See above comment.
Jason:     Yeah that one.
Gordon:     Farmer Wants a Wife! I know that has to be on your Top Ten list.
Jason:     That was Fremantle?
Gordon:     Sure was.
Chico:     Yep. Moved me. To another channel. I think Mythbusters was on.
Travis:     Wait, wait...Match Game '98!
Gordon:     Oh. Can't forget Match Game '98.
Chico:  As much as we want to try.
Gordon:     And my favorite...Card Sharks 2001! Instant Classic!
Chico: ...Epic. Fail.
Gordon:     And I'll throw in some Thank God Your Here and Quizmania (the show that spawned Playmania) on the side.
Chico:     I noticed you didn't mention Family Feud... or Whammy... or To Tell the Truth. Those three... were passable to good.
Gordon:     First of all, Family Feud did not start off with Fremantle - they acquired Feud during their run. Second of all, you think that a Family Feud Show that just got D's from all of us last week is good programming? Finally, Whammy was a pale imitation of Press Your Luck and neither that nor Fremantle's To Tell The Truth saw a third season.
Jason:     So what are you saying?
Gordon:    What I'm saying is that Fremantle Media has had an extensive history of taking America's best and most treasured game shows and melting them into a puddle of suck.
Chico:     The point is... sometimes you have your moments, and sometimes you don't. What production house doesn't?
Jason:     But their house rep is more bad to good. The only successful show Fremantle has is "American Idol".
Gordon:     And Id like to point out that Idol is not Fremantle, but Nigel Lythgoe.
Chico:     I'm talking about the O'Hurley Feud. But at the same time the good stuff they did have was REALLY good...
Gordon: Cough cough, gag, wheeze...
Chico:  That said, I would like to invoke, the Chairman's All-Purpose Contingency Plan. "Prepare for the worst... Hope for the best... Expect something in between... and ... and I can't stress this enough... DON'T PANIC."
Gordon: I can't disagree more. Attention all Price is Right fans...PANIC! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! HEAD FOR THE HILLS!!!! YOU'RE ALL DOOMED! DOOOOOOOMED!!!!!
Chico: Sigh.
Jason:     So...where do we go from here?
Chico:     Hopefully 36 years has taught CBS a lesson or two.
Gordon:     I really, truly hope that I am proven wrong and that Fremantle will FINALLY get a direction that they implement correctly, but I have a feeling that come the end of October after seeing a few weeks of the 'new' Price is Right, we'll be throwing it under the bus, and I'll be driving it all the way to Haterville.
Chico:     Let me ask you this....do you WANT to throw it under the bus?
Gordon:     Of course not.
Travis:     I don't.
Jason:     Neither do I.
Chico:     That's ANOTHER Thing. I think people honestly want to see this fail. Why do you think they fear it so much?
Gordon:    Because we all know that most people do not like change. This has been a 36 year tradition. But the cupboard is far from bare. Even without Roger, you still have Drew, who's amazing. You have Kathy Greco, who's a very talented veteran. And Syd Vinnedge has pumped life and comedy into this show, which makes it fun to watch. The models are still going to be there, and there are many things I want to like about the show.
Jason:     And the ratings drop...isn't DREW'S fault.
Chico:     Of course not. The ratings drop is spurious at best.
Gordon:     I agree. First of all, there's a ratings drop on EVERY am show this season. And you'd have a piece of the audience leave, regardless of who hosted the show, because it wasn't Bob who's the host.
Travis:     All of daytime is down about 8 or 9%
Jason:     And if it fails...it's NOT DREW'S FAULT. Get that right people.
Chico:     Last year, Bob announced his retirement. Ratings shot up. Bob leaving was the best thing that ever happened to that show IN THAT RESPECT. People watched out of curiosity. Now we get to see Drew inherit the mic... So we're curious there AGAIN. But after a few months... we're back to normal. So you have a spurious inflation.
Jason:     Drew makes the show his own.
Chico:     And we went over all of this before.
Jason:     But here's the deal...overall...I think this is a bad move...that could be a very worse move.
Travis:     It's going to blow up in someone's face...but who, specifically?
Gordon:     I think it's a terrible move, and I think that you'll see a bigger drop even if it's a great breathtaking set.
Chico:     I doubt it. The fans, big as we'd like to think we are... are NOTHING compared to the some ... what was the number we came up with?
Travis:    68,250 audience members (average of 350 per show for 195 shows)
Chico:     And millions more watching.
Jason:     But I bet there are a lot more who try.
Chico:     I'll give you an interesting example... My coworker... middle aged lady... wonderful woman... thought Drew Carey wasn't going to do a good job.
Jason:     But the person who gets the blame right or wrong...new set, new direction...DREW CAREY.
Chico:     All I want to say is let's give this whole thing the benefit of the doubt. Otherwise... we all lose, because CBS is going to yank it for a View-wannabe. And we don't want THAT to happen, do we?
Gordon:     No we don't. But I think that Fremantle is taking a huge gamble here with introducing a style that may not be accepted. If it doesn't work and we see the end of a 36 year old tradition, then some Fremantle Executives should be looking to update their resume.
Travis:     There was rumor circulating last year that they were thinking of leaving Studio 33, and Television City altogether.  Does Roger's dismissal signal an all-out change of venue?
Chico:     That's another question I can't answer.
Jason:     But this is a huge, huge story and will last the entire summer.
Gordon:     I hope they know what they are doing. Unfortunately, history dictates that they don't.
Chico:     Yep. We'll have more as developments occur.
Gordon:     And something else that's been occurring - a million dollar edge.
Chico:     Ah yes...another show plans on a Million Dollars...and we have seen the teases this week. For season 26 of Wheel, Harry Friedman is adding a Million Dollar wedge. But the chances of actually winning... The password is "nigh impossible." Let me see if I get this right. You have to hit the million dollar wedge (which is like the $10,000 wedge with $10,000 in the middle and a bankrupt on each side). Then you have to win the game without bankrupting. Then you have to hit the $100,000 wedge on the bonus. And then you have to solve the puzzle. And then you win the million.
Jason:     That's pretty hard.
Travis:     A couple more hurdles, and we have a new Olympic event!
Jason:     However...You co-recap the show with me, right?
Chico:     Right.
Jason:     How many times was the $100,000 wedge hit last year? 11...and won twice .
Chico:     Sounds about right.
Jason:     So it can be done.
Chico:     Yeah, but can it be done with all the prerequisites?
Gordon:     Not only can it be done, I'll say right now, we'll have AT LEAST one million dollar winner this year. And maybe more.
Jason:     I agree with that.
Chico:     A lot of things have to happen before we get there.
Travis:     I'll agree to that as well.  You gotta have at least one.
Chico:     We could get there ONCE, but again.. highly unlikely. The chances of a million dollar winner on Wheel... about as good as a chance of half a mill on The Moment of Truth.
Gordon:     Which didn't happen - but - we did have a $200,000 winner. Highest of the show...

(Watches the end of the hot Dog Eating Contest, where Joey Chestnut defeats Kobayashi in a 5 Hotdog Sudden Death Tiebreaker).

Travis:     CHESTNUT!!!!
Gordon:  What. Ever.
Chico:     U.S.A! U.S.A! U.S.A! U.S.A!
Jason:     U.S.A!
Gordon:    F.I.X!
Jason:     Fix?
Travis:     You're just disappointed because you lost money.
Gordon:     The Americans used steroids. Just like they do with all their other speed racers.
Chico:     HA.
Travis:     Well, the Japanese use...um...uh.............GINSENG!
Gordon:     ...Back to Moment of Truth. Annette Nelson wins $200,000 by a truthful answer to this question...

If your mother was terminally ill and she wanted you to help end her life, would you help her do it?

Jason:     Holy cow!
Chico:     What did she say?
Gordon:     She said...no. She was deemed true and won $200,000. She stopped right there.
Travis:     *cough* Pansy *cough*
Chico:     Wow. That question hits a little too close to home for my takes. That question, on the other hand... doesn't hit anything close to home... and I can enjoy it. Of course, that makes me a bad person, but I've come to live with that.
Travis:     We're all bad people.  It's just to what degree are we bad?
Gordon:     But not before admitting that she cheated on her ex-husbands, while saying that she wouldn't keep her son on the company payroll. The questioning in that segment was all about her infidelity. It's almost a sure thing that the $500,000 question would have been if she ever cheated on her current husband.
Chico:     True.
Jason:     I bet.
Gordon:     Meanwhile, The Moment of Truth promises...for the Fall Season...get ready for it...Celebrities!
Jason:     Oh no!
Chico:     Oh geez.
Travis:     *sniff* I smell the end to The Moment of Truth.
Gordon:    But should we be smelling the beginning of Strike Watch?
Jason:     Maybe.
Chico:     The real answer... No. Not yet. Talks are ongoing, and they're planning to meet on Monday. They, being the SAG and the AMPTP. The deadline came and went with nary a whisper, so that has to mean something. Then again, I'm of the mindset that says "No news is good news."
Jason:     They realize that they don't want ANOTHER 10% drop of ratings
Chico:     Yeah. Especially during the summer months. Who can take ANOTHER drop? Answer: no one.
Travis:     Bingo.
Gordon:     And besides if they did, that means that we may have to see The Singing Office in Prime Time Broadcasting on one of the Big 4 Networks.
Jason:     NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Travis:     *smacks forehead*
Chico:     And in some ways, I don't want the Singing Office on TV period. But again, it's one of those shows where the show is better than the game. And it's not entirely the game's fault. The game works. The players.... not so much. It's the perennial problem when you have people who think they can sing actually try.
Gordon:     But when the game is relying so much on the players, then the game doesn't work.
Jason:     Exactly.
Chico:     And while they are commended for trying... they're not really good. What saves this from Epic Fail... again... Joey Fatone trying to show the world that he's Generation Y's Chuck Woolery.
Gordon:     Mel B. wasn't awful either.
Chico:     So the hosts are good. The game on paper works.

	THE SINGING OFFICE - TLC
	CHAIRMAN	HATERADE	THE BLOCK	T-MAC	AVERAGE-O-MATIC
	C-	D	NO GRADE	NO GRADE	D+

Gordon:     That being said...the show hits a bunch of sour notes for mne. D.
Chico:     Literally?
Gordon:     ...Yes. They can't sing.
Chico:     And hence why the show hits a few sour notes :-) At least you can't claim chaos theory.
Gordon: Nor would I want to here.
Chico:     Heh. The show as a whole gets a C- from me.
Gordon:     The chaos is why we're spending any more time on this show. Let's talk about something truly worthwhile and wholesome for the American Public on this 4th of July Weekend.
Chico:     We could talk about bisexuals, the men who love them, and the women who don't.
Gordon:     The scorecard reads: Tila's Media Ho Appearances: 2. Love Connections: 0.
Chico:     We have, on one end, a guy who says that he loves her. On the other... a girl who says that she wishes she loved her... but she doesn't. And which does she go for?
Jason:     The girl
Gordon: Duh.
Chico:     Then she gets a whole "I'm not that into you" spiel on live TV. That's enough to humble anyone.
Jason:     You think Tila was expecting that?
Gordon:     I don't know if she was expecting it - but it's truly what she deserved.
Chico:     .. Yep. You go into this as a Myspace queen and you get that life isn't all myspace.
Gordon:     There were rumblings through BOTH seasons of the show that Tila wasn't serious in finding love and just wanted airtime. Now she gets it back to her in spades.
Chico:     It's called a spoiled princess getting their just desserts.
Jason:     Ah :)
Gordon:     So everyone's happy - Kristy Morgan (the girl who rejected Tila) gets her 15 minutes of fame as an unsure bisexual, Tila will get another dating show, and the MTV executives see more ratings coming in. And they all lived like mediahoes-ever after. The end.
Jason:     Awwww
Chico:     Tell me another story, daddy...
Gordon:     Once upon a time, we had 14 hamsters, a cat, a pig, a mole, two groundhogs, a bookworm, and a bald grouchy Panamanian who yelled at them all by screaming, 'Make News Go Now!'
Chico:     Ahem... "MAKE NEWS GO NOW!" Like that?
Gordon:    Yes. Just like that. And then the Handsome Studmuffin-like Prince said 'Roll That Beautiful Brain Footage'.
Chico:     Now that's just straight up fiction. =p

(Doug: Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)

Chico:     Thanks, Doug. We start with the great All-American pastime... baseball.
Jason:     (hands Chico the bat)
Chico:     Anyway, onto the Business End...

TV Land loves MILFs. "She's Got the Look" gets renewed for 2009.

Jason:     Good for them.
Chico:     Bigger audience is very good. That means more Monet.
Travis:     I'm not doing my little turn on the Catwalk again...
Jason:     LOL
Chico:     And while we're talking about models...

Because of the golden handcuffs deal Magical Elves has with NBCU, The first Lifetime edition of Project Runway is being handled by... Bunim-Murray, known for such gems as "The Real World"...

Chico:     Yay.
Jason:     Smart move on Lifetime's part.
Travis:     w00t
Chico:     Very smart. They're veterans in this genre.
Gordon:     Meanwhile, from smart, to astounded...

GSN has Greenlit a second season of Bingo America. I guess all those $50 winners means nice impressions on the GSN website.

Chico:     Yep.
Jason:     Oh yeah
Gordon:     And then from Astounded to plain out Dumbtastic...

Are you Smarter Than...The Braintrust over at Fremantle Media. Whether you think that firing a 36 year veteran of the show means the end of TPIR or not, one thing is for certain - that was incredibly idiotic.

Chico:     For all reasons stated above.
Travis:     Indeed.
Jason:     Correct
Travis:     Not just "Price", but "Match Game" as well, lest we forget.
Gordon:     True. And one person won't forget the Hate this week...

Christopher Knight breaks an arm in a fall before Celebrity Ciircus starts. This week, he breaks it AGAIN during rehearsal, which leads to his forced departure from Celebrity Circus.

Chico:     Ow.
Jason:     Oh man.
Chico:     Not so much hate on Chris, but hate on his arm.
Gordon:     Boooo, Arm.
Jason:     Not once but twice.
Travis:     Arms. Feh. Who needs arms?
Chico:     Okay, Bob Oblong, whatever you say. Meanwhile, the rest of us are going to get loaded.
Travis:     It IS the holiday!
Chico:     That's the spirit.
Gordon:     Weeee

The WGA has set up 40 shows for its internet channel Strike.tv, and one of them is going to be a game show.

Chico:     The only thing on the site right now is a teaser video.
Gordon:     Is it gong to be called The New Price is Right starring Roger Dobkowitz?
Jason:     I'll get coffee!
Travis:     I'll Intern!!
Gordon:     I'll see if Bill Clinton is available to be the chief of interns. Bill likes interns.
Chico:     ba dum bum.
Travis:     Ouch.
Chico:     Funny you should mention media hoes, G.
Gordon:     I got a bunch. Want to hear about them?
Chico:     Sure do.
Travis:     Would they happen to be in different area codes?
Gordon: Sure would be.
Chico:     That was before Don Imus. Try and catch up :-) *plays "Pimpin' All Over the World"*

In this week's Media Ho Report, Tila, after being dumped, freaks out on MySpace, DeAnna Pappas swears she finds a happy ending (uhuh). Kristy Lee Cook signs a recording contract, Paris Bennett's going to be a mommy...Craig Jackson hosts I Love Money, Alfonso Ribiero hosts Catch 21, and Sarah Silverman says that her appearance in the Match Game Pilot was only a favor - and don't expect to see her as a regular.

Gordon:     But...none of them are your Ho of the week.
Jason:     Who is our All-American Ho?
Gordon:     Funny you should say that. The All-American Ho is...Hulk Hogan, who's had a very busy week. He's accused of stalking wife Linda, who, according to TMZ, is now being seen with a convicted felon. They need some help.
Chico:     Help? They need Jesus.
Travis:     Quick!  Someone call Dog, the Bounty Hunter!
Jason:     They need more than help....they need intervention.
Travis:     Quick!  Someone call Dr. Drew!
Jason:     And the fact that someone greenlit Hulk Hogan's Celebrity wrestling...yeez
Gordon:     At least he has Celebrity Wrestling to keep him occupied - or he could go spanning the globe with Chico.
Chico:     Yep. We're going to Turkey this time.
Travis:     Ooh...Turkey.  With all the trimmings?
Chico:     It's Istanbul (not Constantinople)

We all thought that Wipeout was pretty cool, right? Well, now the Turks get to find out for themselves, because they get their own version.

Travis:     Been a long time gone, Constantinople.
Chico:     That's nobody's business but the Turks. While it's hot on my mind... I have a bit of mini-Haterade courtesy of Spike TV, who publicized their MXC marathon as "The MXC (Original, Not the Ripoff) Marathon".
Travis:     Oh...snap
Gordon:     But they aren't wrong
Chico:     True.
Gordon:     What about business with a Date Book? Anyone want business with a datebook?
Chico:     They would've already aired it by the time this comes out, so it doesn't get into the datebook.
Chico:     What does, G?
Jason:     wow

Do You Love Money? Join the Media Hoes who Love Money starting July 6th. Then on the 10th, it's the Greatest American Dog, followed by another Great American Dog - Big Brother on the 13th.

Chico:     And watch CBS saying "Big Brother and Summer.. two things that go great together." Sorry, dude. The damage was done. But you know, they could pull it out... Password's slots (both of them) AND the Tuesday slot are all winners.
Gordon:     I think that's just because there's nothing going on during the Summer. We saw what happened when they put it on during the Winter
Chico:     Yeah. Dog City.... I miss that show, Dog City.
Jason:     woof woof
Travis:     Baroooooooooooooo!
Chico:     Okay, that's Brainvision. Shut it down.
Jason:     (shutting down)
Gordon:     Coming up - We are a Triple Threat Machine! We'll explain what that means after the break.
Chico:     This is WLTI... an American loving game show column.

(WLTI is brought to you by Fremantle Laundering Detergent.  When you want all your game show memories washed away, use Fremantle.  It's dumb-tastic!!)

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