Episode 33.8 - Children of
Earth Are Hot: Episode #456
Chico: I think we found our new rescue. But who's going to handle him?
Gordon: (Takes a step back)
Chico: So we have a wild cougar walking about. Luckily he's a vegan. Welcome
back to WLTI. Thanks for being a part of our weekend and allowing our weekend to
be a part of you. Now it's time for something we do every year at about this
time... It's the AGT Primer. LOWER THE BIG BOARD! It's bigger than even our
BIGGEST Big Board, because we have a top 60 to go over.
Gordon: (Stares Down) I can seee my house from here.
Chico: And we don't have the time to dilly on it, so let's get to it. You know
how we do it... One and done, quarterfinals, semifinals, finals, winner.
Gordon: Based on what we think we know.
Gordon: Where do we start off?
Chico: We're starting with the BANDS. And by bands, we mean a group with more
than one singer as their primary act.
3 PENNY CHORUS & ORCHESTRA.
Chico: Who? Out in one.
Gordon: It's cute, but they need to do better than a Karaoke song.
THE AMERICAN MILITARY SPOUSES CHOIR.
Chico: I've said it before, I'll say it again. YOUR WINNER... RIGHT HERE.
Gordon: I don't think so, but I think they get VERY far. Finals.
Chico: Again, WHO?! Out in one.
Gordon: Didn't do it for me. out in 1.
THE VIRGINIA STATE UNIVERSITY GOSPEL CHOIR
Chico: Semis. Then it becomes a clash of the choirs.
Gordon: I don't think they get that far. Quarterfinals.
TONE THE CHIEFROCCA.
Chico: He gets his B-DOUBLE-O-T-Y kicked by everyone else. Out in one.
Gordon: He gets the O-U-T-Z B-O-O-T-Y.
Chico: 2notuniqueenough. Out in one.
Gordon: 1 UNique. As in the only time we see them.
AARALYN & IZZY.
Chico: Gordon wants these guys to win, but I think ... Semis.
Gordon: Though I do want them to win, I think they only sneak into the Quarters.
Chico: This could be a squeaker. Finals.
Gordon: Here's your Top Band, but I'm not in love with them. Semi-Finals.
Chico: Sean, the alternate singer, is your star. Build your act around him.
Gordon: YI agree with Chico. Finals.
Chico: There you are then. We had BANDS, now for singers.
Gordon: AKA Your winner is here. Barring elections or them magically moving the
night away from when most people vote.
Chico: These are singular vocalists of any age.
Chico: Don't remember her. Out in one.
Gordon: I do remember her, but there's singers who are stronger. Out in 1.
Chico: I think Forte has him beat. Quarters.
Gordon: Out gay people here do not do well when you're voting base is the
Southern Bible Belt. Out in the semis.
Chico: Jimmy Who? Out in one. I think we've seen so many acts in the auditions
that DIDN'T make it. They send the 2nd unit out for the failures for the first
Gordon: Very true. The Rose has fallen off the bloom. Out in the semis.
Chico: Her, I DO remember. I don't think she's memorable, but I do remember her.
Out in one.
Gordon: I think she makes it past round one, then runs into Marty Brown. out in
BRANDON & SAVANNAH.
Chico: Technically a band, but Savannah does the heavy lift. I think they get
the Poplyfe vote. Semis.
Gordon: They don't have the charimsa. They will get out of Round 1, but then
theyll have problems, Quarterfinals
Chico: I think the kids all around have problems. Out in one.
Gordon: She needs to change the channel. out in 1.
Chico: Again, kid. Unseen. Problems. Gone in one.
Gordon: I think she has potential to escape Round one. Dark Horse in the
Chico: Good luck with that.
Chico: Nice down to earth hot guy with guitar. FINALS.
Gordon: That's one of my finalists. FINALS
Chico: Hey, we agree on something.
Chico: Not as strong, but a bit of a dark horse for me. Quarters.
Gordon: I'm saving some dark horses for later. out in 1.
Chico: Sorry, buddy. Out in one.
Gordon: Johnathan - meet Braden. out in 2.
MARTY BROWN, 15 minutes part deux.
Chico: Excuse me... *hits alarm* Quarters. America loves country.
Gordon: They do, which is why...he wins. WINNER
SELENA MYKENZIE GORDON.
Chico: Kid. Singer. Gone. Sorry.
Gordon: I think she shares the same fate as Michaela Gordon. Out in One.
Chico: Next.... *puts on goggles* DANGER!
Gordon: I'm scurred.
Chico: A group that blends ice skating with aerialists. That's new... Is America
ready for it? Probably not. Out in one.
Gordon: ZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz out in 1
AEROSPHERE BALLOON SHOW
Chico: .... Why. Out in one.
Gordon: Because. Out in one.
ALEXANDRIA THE GREAT
Chico: An escapist. How you top escaping a straitjacket underwater is beyond me.
Gordon: How do magicians do again on this show?
Chico: One will break through to the finals. The others will fall behind. This
one's already piqued. Out in one.
Gordon: There could be someone that goes into the finals. Not her. Out in one.
DAVID THE COBRA KID
Chico: He plays with cobras. And he could die. Out in one.
Gordon: Snakebitten. Out in 1
Chico: Acrobats... Not innovative. Out in one.
Gordon: Outnovative Force. out in 1
Gordon: I'm dizzy watching this...oh wait, too much Sarah Palin. Out in 1
Chico: Sorry, it's a no-spin zone. Out in one.
Chico: An acrobat who swallows swords and will scare the living bleep out of
Gordon: I don't see how he does beter than what he did. out in one.
Chico: Like Alexandr, but with no pole. Bore snore. Out in one.
Gordon: Im poleing the audience. Out in one
Chico: Not resonating with me. Wow, we're picky this year. Out in one.
Gordon: More acts mean more Out in ones
Gordon: I think them on their comedy, if they can amp it, can be a surprise.
Chico: They're going to have to do more than balancing their heads to make it
that far. But yeah, Quarters.
Chico: She juggles china on a unicycle. The moment she misses (and it has
happened before), she's done. It'll happen again. OUT in one.
Gordon: I think the video of her dropping something is good enough to get rid of
her. Out in one.
Chico: Next... *giggles*
Chico: It sounds dirty, but it's actually a levitation themed stunt act.
Gordon: Besides sitting on an elevated platform, what else can he do? Out in
Chico: I.... honestly can't see this act as more than a novelty. Out in one.
Chico: It's an extreme act....
Gordon: He gets to the semis.
Chico: He climbs and balances on poles.
Gordon: TiMMMMMBEEEEERRRRRRR OUT in one
Chico: Couldn't have said it better myself. Let's go dancing.
Chico: They can't afford getting a pool into Radio City Music Hall every week.
Out in one.
Gordon: They could, but I was bored. out in one.
BAILEY THE DANCING DOG.
Chico: He COULD win this... but I betcha after the result of last year's final,
the musical fans will not have it. FINALS. Does not win.
Gordon: Um...the Olate Dog won on a number of fluky combinations on schedule and
desperate producers. This act is NOWHERE as good as the dogs and the novelty is
over. Out in One.
Chico: I had them in the finals.. until I saw another act. Semis.
Gordon: I don't think that other act is that good. FINALS
Chico: Act is hollow. Sorry, boyz. Out in one.
Gordon: Chicago is around 1,500 miles out. Out in one
Chico: *sniff* doesn't smell fresh to me. OUT in one.
Gordon: Sorry. out in One
Chico: How do singular poppers do again? With the excecption of Haspop?
Gordon: They do very good, and I think he will do as well. Finals.
Chico: Quarters. Haspop is the only one I remember.
MITSI SCHOOL OF DANCE.
Gordon: Reminds me of The King and I on Acid. Out in one.
Chico: And that's why they'll succeed. Quarters.
Chico: This is the act I see in the finals. Sorry, Catapult.
Gordon: I'm not sensing it. Out in One.
Chico: Aptly named. Out in one.
Gordon: They have ZERO in terms of other acts. if that was the first time they
did the act, what else do they have left? They will be struck out of the
competition in Round 1
Chico: Tell me what they do again?
Gordon: Bore me to tears. out in One.
Chico: Not on this show. Out in one.
D'ANGELO & AMANDA
Chico: Nothing memorable to see here. Out in one.
Gordon: Are you nutty?
Chico: Maybe. I think his ex partner is better.
Gordon: I don't. Battle of the Miami Siblings Part one. They are the better set.
Chico: Speaking of.
RUBY & JONAS
Chico: Finals. There we go.
Gordon: They get to the semis, but they will run into their siblings.
KID THE WIZ
Gordon: Doesn't get the hat trick. Out in One.
Chico: he and his hat need to perform from the start. Otherwise, out in one.
Chico: Exactly. OUT in one.
Gordon: Don't Believe the Hype? I'll semi-believe it. Quarterfinals.
Chico: Finally... COMEDY
Gordon: Im not liking any of the comics this season. Out in One
Chico: I don't even remember this guy. Ou tin one.
Chico: Excuse me for a moment...*sounds alarm*
Gordon: Is that a Media Hoffender button?
Chico: Yessir. He was on Whose Line... and an ep of Fresh Prince.
Gordon: Not a fan...but SOMEone has to make the semis. Sure, I'll put him in.
Chico: I'll take him to the finals.
KEVIN DOWNEY JR.
Chico: Who? Out in one.
Gordon: He'll get to Round 1. Thats it,
Chico: Um... NO. Out in one.
Gordon: Teletummies! out in one.
Chico: One more time...*sounds alarm*
Chico: He was at nine Just for Laughs festivals, and had his own show on CBC
Radio One. That said he has just enough lack of Q factor to give him a chance.
Gordon: I'll go Quarters
Chico: Just awkward enough to get votes. SEMIS.
Gordon: They are going to have ONE comic get to the finals. He's going to be the
Chico: And finally...
Chico: Who just... makes Rube Goldberg devices.
Gordon: I like this. I don't think America likes it as much as I will.
Chico: I'll agree with that. I like it. I just don't know if America will
appreciate it. And that's... the America's Got Talent primer. Holy cow what a
lot of acts. I need a break
Gordon: You need some aspirin?
Chico: Yep I could use a pill or two.
Gordon: We have Maximum Strangth Capsule Reviews...next!
(Brought to you by America's Got Towels... the linen store run by a bunch of
clerks waiting for their big break)
Gordon: I'll take the plaid one. It's time for some Maximum Strength Capsule
Chico: Yep. Giant pills for giant reviews.
Gordon: Start it up.
Chico: First usp... the revival we were waiting for since Figure It Out last
year... WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY? It's just like you remember it, only it's in
HD, Laura Hall's hair is longer, and Drew Carey looks like Aisha Tyler.
Gordon: It's the same show with the same players - but 2 twists. A new host (Aisha
Tyler) and a Guest spot which rotates.
Chico: That's the good. Also good... the second-seat newbies. This week, we had
Heather Anne Campbell and Gary Anthony Williams. Clearly going for quality.
Also, the guest stars they bring in look like they can roll with the big dogs,
and frankly, so does Aisha Tyler.
Gordon: I actually like Tyler better than Drew Carey. In my mind, she's a beter
Chico: Indeed she is. She's got a future in this business. She's whipsmart,
witty, and can take as good as she gives. Now we come to the not-so-good. And I
have two BIG qualms. First of all, if you're going to say you entertain
suggestions from the audience, you need to entertain suggestions from the
audience. I do not see Aisha go to the audience ONCE.
Gordon: Yeah I saw that also. I'll give that a pass justr because it's episode
#1. Not all WLIIA episodes went to the audience
Chico: Second thing is... You're using the guest star MORE than the guest
Chico: I wanted to see Gary and Heather play with the boys.
Gordon: It's a matter of balance in my opinion. I dont have an iassue with it
Chico: If you wanted to see Kevin McHale sing with Wayne Brady (which he can
do)... he needed to be on the panel more.
Gordon: The guest panelists will be back.
Chico: I thought that was the best game of the night, by the way. Song Styles,
Wayne Brady singing to Kevin McHale from Glee, the style... gospel.
Gordon: I'm ok with it. the concept is in training
WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?
CW - 8p ET Tuesday
Chico: Right. So in short, it's a show that never should've gotten cancelled.
And now it's back. And everyone loves it. B+
Gordon: This version could be the best American one. A-
Chico: On after Whose Line, and as good as Whose Line WAS, Perfect Score was NOT
It's basically what happens when you put Deal or No Deal in a room with Singled
Out to...how can I put this genteel like...do the
Chico: What happens is you are a lovely lady with a lovely lady friend looking
for love amongst 10 men.
Gordon: Each potential date has a suitcase from $1 to $50,000, based on
compatibility. Whoever gets the highest amount wins.
Chico: All 12 players have taken a compatibility test. That forms the matrix for
the game aspect, as the least compatible man is worth $1 to the most's $50,000. If that sounds complicated, that's because it is. And that's one of the
bad things about it.
Gordon: It's not complicated at all. It's about finding the most compatible
person based on money. I actually like that part of the show.
Chico: Well, I found it hard to follow, because if you remember, no one knows
who has what. It's a strict whittle job.
Gordon: That was the ONLY thing I liked about it. It turned into Singled Out
with cheesy actors.
Chico: Speaking of cheesy actors... How about Arielle Kebbel acting like she
Gordon: The hosting was ok. The contestants were pretty bad. This was produced
by Scott 'Deal or No Deal' St. John.
Chico: I thought she moved the game along, but she wasn't that good of a conduit
between players. She didn't engage much.
9p ET Tuesday
Gordon: I actually liked her hosting. The problem was the game itself. The
premise could have worked with better execuition. C-
Chico: The premise works on paper. In practice... Not so much. D+
Gordon: Next one?
Chico: Next is ... Oh dear. The next hidden-camera tour-de-force from executive
producer Howie Mandel. DEAL WITH IT. Tell me if this sounds familiar. In
exchange for cash and prizes, regular folks are recruited to prank their
companions, agreeing to obey instructions given through an earpiece by various
celebrities & comedians.
Chico: Ha HA. In exchange for cash and prizes, regular folks are recruited to
prank their companions, agreeing to obey instructions given through an earpiece
by various celebrieis & comedians. The good... it's only half an hour?
Gordon: I'm actually going to be a little nicer. A little. This is executed
better than Game Show In My Head in terms that the rotating panel is describing
the action and the consequences.
Chico: The bad.... follow along with me please. This is just a ripoff of Game
Show in My Head!, which in turn was a ripoff of You're On!, which wasn't that
good to begin with.
Gordon: The bad - a show starring Joe Rogan doing the exact same thing was miles
better than this show - and we failed that one. And the other show ended with a
light-hearted comic approach. Some of these episodes may have ended with a
busted friendship or relationship, and you never want to see that happen on a
light-hearted comedy game show.
TBS - 10:30p ET Wednesday
Chico: Howie... stick to judging talent. F.
Gordon: We can still watch him be entertaining on AGT. This gets a different
letter though: F.
Chico: Next, a show that's SIMILAR to this, but ... well, it's on MTV. It's
Money from Strangers, which is entering season 2. Jeff Dye is going to give you
money... and all you have to do is put on this earpiece and do whatever he tells
MTV - 11p ET Thursday
Gordon: It's Deal With It from a more annoying Host. F.
Chico: And more annoying celebrities... which is saying something because we
LIKE Jon Gabrus. New rule. NO. GAME SHOWS. INVOLVING. PEOPLE. SPEAKING. IN.
EARPIECES! F. Next is a show that we didn't review on the last episode on account of
time. GET OUT ALIVE with BEAR GRYLLS. Ten teams of 2 complete to survive in New
Zealand. Each week Bear will cut one team, and the last team remaining wins
Gordon: The good - the production is beautiful.
Chico: Yep. And Bear Grylls is definitely the consummate professional in this.
Gordon: You got anything else on the good? Cause that's all I got. See Bear for
me moves on into the Bad
Chico: Talk to me.
Gordon: How do we determine who gets eliminated?
Chico: Arbitrary judgment?
Gordon: That's what it feels like to me. That's the best we can do? Really?
GET OUT ALIVE WITH BEAR GRYLLS
NBC - 9p ET Mondays
Chico: Yeah, no real metric. That's a dealbreaker for me. You need structure,
Gordon: I agree completely. Subjective eliminations on topics we're not aware of
is a true way to lose an audience. D.
Chico: Finally... a second dose, that's a revisit of a show we've already
reviewed. This one is actually nominated for an Emmy. To celebrate Top Chef
Masters returning Wednesday, we review Top Chef: Last Chance Kitchen
Gordon: We are Top Chef Fans. And I'm a huge fan of Top Chef Kitchen
Chico: I'm also a huge fan of TCLCK. It's a great companion to the TV show prior
and you pick up on things that you may have missed.
Gordon: Very true. We say this because we'll be seeing it again next season
Chico: Yep. So that's the good.
Gordon: Any bad?
Chico: None than I can see.
LAST CHANCE KITCHEN
BravoTV.com - Wednesdays
Gordon: Me neither. That's why it gets an A from me.
Chico: An A from me as well.
Chico: Lost me after episode one.
Gordon: It's not a game show per se, but it's NBC's version of Lost meets
Survivor meets Lord of the Flies.
Chico: in... shocker, Siberia.
Gordon: The Good - I like the concept of what it could be,.
Chico: It's a good concept, but as for me, I'm like, where's the chase, and how
do I cut to it?
Gordon: The Bad - and you know this is coming - we don't grade on potential.
This is going down the Lord of the Flied slide, and I would think the show
should be much smarter than that.
NBC - 10p ET Mondays
Chico: Yeah, we were promised aliens. So far, all we have is plodding. And as I
said before, you lost me after Icey was "voted out". D-
Gordon: I want aliens and conspiracy and good sci fi. I'm not getting it. C-.
Chico: That's the reviews. And my headache's gone. I don't know whether i should
be scared or not. Speed Round is next!
(Brought to you by Game Show in My Pants. Tailors get
earpieces to do sewing - while the models are wearing the pants. One false move
and you're in pain, both physically and financially)
Chico: .... Gross.
Gordon: What about Game Show in my Speed Round?
Chico: Nice. Speed Round Starts...NOW! Big Brother. Surely Aaryn has run out of
Gordon: If I'm smart, she's gone. AGT - Give me someone who makes the top.
Chico: We have the list of week 1 acts... they are Aaralyn & Izzy, Alexandria
the Great, American Hitmen, Anna Christine, Branden James, Collins Key (BTW: all
magicians... done in one), Fresh Faces, Hype, Kevin Downey, KriStef Brothers,
Special Head, and tellAvision.
Chico: I like American hitmen
Gordon: I'll go with Braden James. WHodunnit - Who's next?
Chico: You mean, who gets waxed?
Chico: I'd watch myself if I were Melina.
Gordon: Meina is on my radar scope as the killer. I think she's ok. Dana's been
in the bottom twice. 3 times a charm. Jeopardy: Any big winners?
Chico: Nope, I think we're done with big winners for the year.
Gordon: I'll go with that. ANy email?
Gordon: How can we get some?
Chico: Sending some! Duh. The address is firstname.lastname@example.org. Or you can
follow us on Facebook and twitter @wltiongsnn. We're up to 100 followers on
Twitter. Now it's on to 200! TELLYOURFRIENDS, TELLYOURMOM.
Gordon: Next week - Double the trouble. 4 times the trouble! 5 Times the
Chico: EVERYONE GETS IN TROUBLE! Until then, for Gordon and everyone at GSNN, I'm
Chico Alexander... game over... and spread the love. :-)