Chico: This is Chico Alexander... if you remember
last week, I said Ben Ingram would be done in seven. Gordon said 8...The
official tally... NINE.
Gordon: Do I get a cookie?
Chico: No. Of course, Gordon only said 8 to make a joke about Hump Day.
Gordon: So I don't get a cookie?
Chico: No you do not.
Chico: But Ben Ingram ain't the only thing going down this week.
Gordon: We have a lot of things going down - and I'm sure I'll add in a
reference that may get our show yanked. Again.
Chico: Couldn't be any worse than what Aaryn did in the House... AGAIN.
Gordon: You could say she's going down. Sort of.
Chico: But we'll get to that too, because from somewhere in America... you're
going down, down, down, down, down down down.... to Game Show Town. WLTI... IS
Gordon: YAY! (discoes)
Chico: As always joined by my good buddy and fellow fan of Machine Gun Action,
Gordon: We'll get to that and a Media Ho Offender family that just won't die,
but first, we go with an Ingram going out the door.
Chico: Simply put, Ben Ingram was outmatched.
Gordon: He ran into a player playing better and betting better.
Chico: Normally, a big player could contend with one legitimate challenger, but
two? AT ONCE? Nope. Not happening.
Gordon: Ben had to get FInal Jeopardy right and his opponents had to get it
wrong. DIdn't happen.
Chico: Should be noted that Ben has $14,400 to Mark Bazinga... err, Japinga's
$15,600. Dawn Owens-Nicholson has $21,000.
Gordon: The category and question sir?
Chico: The category... Classical Music. The clue...
This piece that premiered in Moscow in 1882 includes strains from "God Save the
Czar" & "La Marsellaise".
Gordon: Now as I am a music major, I better know this. (Puts on conductors
Jacket) what is the 1812 Overture?
Chico: I know that's right. Now put on your Justin Bieber outfit
Gordon: Does it come with a bucket?
Chico: I'm glad you asked. *hands bucket*
Gordon: (Grabs bucket) I knew we could use that Fear Factor Chuck Bucket
somewhere here. (Puts on outfit and Sixteenth Chapel Tattoo) What is the Grey
Poupon Commercial theme music?
Chico: And do you love your mom?
Gordon: I do. That's why I give her lots of Grey Poupon.
Chico: To the tune of the 1812 Overture.
Gordon: Of course. Doesn't everyone?
Chico: ....no. Ben's right, but he doesn't go all-in. He would've lost anyway,
because Mark ALMOST went all the way in, but does enough to win $31,199.
Gordon: Exactly. Now usually the Giant Killers get knocked off the next game,
but Mark wins Friday. I bring this up because we're geeks...and well...Chico has
the FInal Jeopardy Clue.
Chico: I do. The category: Video Game History.
The title princess of this game, which launched a best-selling franchise, was
named for F. Scott Fitzgerald's wife.
Gordon: Now the Princess is Zelda...BUT...they are looking for the TITLE of the
game. So the answer is...The Legend of Zelda. This is important. Why CHico?
Chico: Because Mark is the only one to be ruled with a correct response when he
says "The Legend of Zelda". Other than the colloquial "Zelda".
Gordon: Which was said by the other 2 contestants, who can't read.
Chico: Correct. The title of the game: "The Legend of Zelda". Give the Jeopardy!
writers some credit. They know their stuff. They will usually write a clue out
so that it will only lead to ONE response. Title princess, this game,
best-selling franchise, and F. Scott Fitzgerald's wife will all lead you to..
Gordon: They do - though not in this case.
Chico: Zelda is the princess.
Gordon: Not the game name. We're geeks. We know this.
Chico: It's also the name of the game to people who are too lazy to say the full
name. "The Legend of Zelda" is correct. SO... Mark wins two. Two more, and he
joins Andrew Moore and Ben Ingram in the tournament talk. I think he can do it.
Gordon: I think he can too. He's hoping he doesn't find himself next to Don,
becaus that means he could have been eaten by a Mountain Lion.
(cues NBC Mystery Movie theme)
Chico: The last time we saw the gang at Rue Manor, Giles was getting his rifle.
Why? To tranquilize a puma. Why? Because the Killer has struck again.
Gordon: Don gets eaten because he thought, among other things, that the killer
didn't put a bomb in the golf cart (he did) and that Adrianna blew herself up
(she didn't). Now do you have any changes as to who your killer could be?
Chico: Nope, I still think it's Cris. To review...
Gordon: Review away.
Chico: Adrianna was watching a loop of Rock of Love (why?) and herself on a
couch with the message: Get out if you want to live. The front door to the
breakfast nook was zipped shut. Meaning the only way out was outside. She ran
down to the golf cart and sped to the front gate, only to be blocked by a limb.
The limb caused her to veer into sight of a CC camera. The camera was hooked up
to a TV in the attic, and when the Killer had her in her sights...KABOOM! Cause
of death: bomb triggered from remote control.
Gordon: Sounds right. Not what Don put down. Now as you have not made a change
from your one I'm going to make a change. Kam is off my radar. He's playing too
hard to be the killer.
Gordon: So is Ronnie, for the same reason. However, I think we may have a new
suspect, by something SHE said in the accusations.
Chico: What would that be?
Gordon: Here's the quote 'Ulysses, I don't need you to take anyone out for me'.
Chico: And who said this? I want to say Sasha did.
Gordon: The speaker...was Sasha.
Chico: That's right.
Gordon: So she's now #2. #1 is still Lindsay, though I can also see Cris as the
Chico: Again, diversion. Ronnie's on my radar, too. We'll have to keep an eye
out. So Sasha, Lindsey, and Cris... Provided that none of them die, we can keep an eye out on these four.
Gordon: Keep an eye out for Nick, because he's out of the house.
Chico: Elissa survives another round, and with every passing day I feel more
sorry for her. Because Aaryn is still in the house, and there's no real reason
to believe that she's going anywhere any time soon. Same can be said for Gina
Gordon: Aaryn's buddy Helen is now the HOH, and the nominees are the hate squad
- Aaryn, Kaitlin and Spencer.
Chico: Laser guided karma.
Gordon: Now why is Nick out?
Chico: No one really knows. It came as a shock. Let's look at the vote. If you
remember, it's Elissa, Helen, and Nick. Nick lost, by a count of 7 to 4 against
Elissa. The four that voted to evict Elissa: GinaMarie, Howard, Jeremy, and
Kaitlin. GinaMarie, Kaitlin, and Jeremy are siding (in theory) with Aaryn.
Gordon: Right. Which also means the group of 7 was more behind Helen than Nick.
She nominated Elissa and Helen in order to flush Elissa out. That didn't work
out so well once Jeremy saved himself.
Chico: Meanwhile, Elissa has been named MVP for three weeks running. You think
that would send a message?
Gordon: Well how many people know about it?
Chico: If I were to guess... nobody. No one wins the veto as we type, but if
someone does, we will break program.
Gordon: And again, the other reason is because she may be the ONLY likable
person in the house this season
Chico: Which, if you remember who Elissa is, is a wonder. :-) If I may say
something, and I will address this in the second half of the show...
Gordon: You may
Chico: This is not to the entire house, but to those whom addressed. You know
who. You honestly have a high opinion of yourself to have such low regard for
those around you. You're an absolute abomination to humankind, and if I had it
my way, you would be stuck in that house with your prejudices, and the human
race would be free of you.
Gordon: Would you release the Kraken?
Chico: The Kraken, Cthulu, Jason Block, ALL OF THEM. You may have you careers,
but as human beings, by every reasonable measure available, YOU ARE ALL
FAILURES. And given the chance, I'd call them failures again and enjoy every
minute of it
Gordon: ...I think you need to feel better. Maybe a review will make you feel
good. Like a review of Hollywood Game Night.
Chico: Ah yes. Hollywood hotshots playing with the little people for fun and
profit, and because this is a throwback to the game shows of old, we have actual
alcohol on set.
Gordon: And we also have Body Language, Pyramid, Password, Get The Picture...Oh
wait I mean 'New Original Games played at real celebrities households'
Chico: Did we mention that Sean Hayes is a game show fan?
Gordon: You did.
Chico: Anyway, six celebs and two civilians play a myriad of games and the best
civilian leaves with a chance at $25,000. Each civilian is a captain of a team
of three celebs. This week it was Lisa Kudrow, Matthew Perry, Martin Short,
Kristen Bell, Daniel Dae Kim, and Alyson Hannigan. All of the games are
Gordon: Let's start with The Good. Jane Lynch has a future in this.
Chico: I believe if Jason Block was here... he'd say something like "I've seen
the future of game shows, and her name is Jane Lynch." She's that good. I like
that she moves seamlessly from game to game and that she keeps the atmosphere
light. Of course, three years of Glee, a few improv classes, and a Masterchef
episode will do that.
Gordon: I'm not going to go that far. I will say she's solid and with some
training, she can be very good. I'd like to see her as a celebrity contestant
and see how she fares.
Chico: Oh yeah, there's going to be some time for that.
Gordon: Yes. Also: the games work. We know this, of course, because we've seen
them all before.
Chico: So the games work, the host is an effective (albeit enabling) conduit,
and let's just say there's a REASON why this is on at 10. And if you've ever been to game night... yeah, it's definitely game
Gordon: Complete with blue alcohol and blue language.
Chico: as my east coast regulars (Gordon), west coast regulars (Joe), and
mid-Atlantic regulars (Heather & Ru) can attest. It isn't Family Game Night, and
Jane's no Todd Newton. I guess we can start the bad THERE.
Gordon: Well I can go even further. The stars, for better or for worse, are the
stars. You can have the cool stars or the ones climbing the halls (see Hip Hop
Squares), In this case, you had a Friends Fight and Martin Short chewing up the
scenery, which in my mind detracted from the show.
Chico: Martin Short is a regular detracter. You ever see his act?
Gordon: Of course. But I don't want to see him 24/7 as the only act in the show
when he has co-stars.
Chico: Now there are some people who are there to play the games, and good for
them. They know why they're there. to have fun, get drunk, and win money.
There's an album title. But when you cross the line into making a spectacle of
yourself, you forget why you're there and risk crossing the Estrada-MGK
Diagonal. You remember MGK climing the game board in Hip Hop Squares and Erik
Estrada punching someone out in Pictionary.
NBC - 10p ET Thursday
Gordon: True. The show itself is enjoyable. I would have like some more
originality with it, but it's a fun 60 minute diversion which I can see the
return of some of my favorite games in a different format. This is one of those
rare Summer shows that I can see sticking around for the Summers to come. B.
Chico: I liked it more than I thought I would. It's a good way to kill a
Thursday night. Not a GREAT way, but a good way. Made even better if you BYOB. B And since Gordon doesn't drink, well... he's SOL.
Gordon: What if I wanted to kill some brain cells? Got anything for that?
Chico: As a matter of fact, I do... Welcome to Summer Camp! Remember when we saw
the preview and thought about how bad it was? Turns out it's not bad, it just
isn't that good.
Chico: It's Survivor goes to Camp. The campers, 16 of them, are divided into two
camps: Boys and Girls. They take part in Camp style games, and those that remain
in the end will share $250,000. Oh, and Matt Rogers is camp counselor. Can we
find a decent format for him? Can we help Matt out? This is his THIRD show he's
hosted... and they are all pinky toe notes in the history of the genre.
Gordon: He's getting better as the formats are getting worse.
Chico: Of course it doesn't help matters that the show takes the USA mantra
"characters welcome" too seriously by characterizing the players. Like Gordon
would be The Geek and I would be The Musclehead.
Gordon: So tell me about this show.
Chico: Stop me if you've heard this one before. Camps challenge each other in
various competitions. Winners stay on. Losers vote someone out. Continue for
eight episodes until the final competition when one of the teams will split
Chico: So the good... the game only works because we've seen it before.'
Gordon: And Matt Rogers doesn't suck.
Chico: No he doesn't. But I've said this before... He needs a format that is
suited to his talents. This is just another Survivor clone. He needs something
unique, something energetic. Not this generic mess.
Gordon: The issue that I have is that it isn't even done that well. It's a shade
above Redneck Island and I'm being VERY kind here.
Chico: I'd say it's just below Boot Camp if you remember that far back
Gordon: Unfortunately, yes.
USA - 10p ET Thursday
Chico: So it's a retread, it's not even a good one. Matt saves it by working
with what he's given. I grade accordingly. D.
Gordon: Matt can't save this. D.
Chico: He can't. But there is good news...what did you think about Wild'n Out?
The original Hip Hop Whose Line is back.
Chico: New comics, same game.
Gordon: This time, It's an Eastern Vibe. Still the same fun though
Chico: Yes sir. It transports itself from LA to NYC for the new edition. It's
just as on-point as ever, maybe even more so.
Gordon: Nick Cannon is still the host, while Kevin Hart, the comic for episode
one, was on point.
Chico: If that's indicative of what we see for the rest of the season, then we
could be in for their 15 minutes part deux.
Chico: So we saw the good... any bad?
Gordon: Well...if I was going to quibble, it's clearly not an all audience show.
Chico: But it knows its audience.
Gordon: It does. MTV2 is the perfect spot for it
Chico: Yep, that young male demo.
NICK CANNON PRESENTS WILD'N OUT
MTV2 - 11p ET Tuesday
Gordon: One of our favorite shows is back - and this may be the first summer in
a long time that isn't the Summer of Suck. A.
Chico: Yes sir
Gordon: Ken Jen is calling Cheeseball's mama fat, so Cheeseball brought out his
mama. She's fat. As in 30 pounds and is ready to sit on Ken Jen.
Chico: Oh man.. No, no, no... this is bad. This is very bad...
Gordon: You've been working out., Chico. Go separate them please.
Chico: Right... *separates.. after a couple of bites*..... Okay, I need to see a
(Jason Block comes out)
Gordon: I know you're not a medic. So let me guess, you stayed at a
hotel that we're not going to name because we haven't gotten a plug from them
Jason: Well, sort of. I'll get the Medic, you get the cue.
Gordon: Roll That Beautiful Brain Footage...and get some rubbing alcohol.
Jason: And I have peroxide as well!
Chico: No peroxide!
Jason: If it burns it works.
Gordon: Stop whining, you big baby.
Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to
your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper,
Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)
Gordon: (Bandages Chico's wrist) Should be as good as new.
Chico: Thanks, guys. Okay, I need a bat.
Jason: Which one?
Chico: The glittery one.
Jason: (hands Chico the Glittery Bat)
Gordon: Damn Chico! (Puts on glasses)
Jason: I'm Blind (puts on Ray-Bans)
Chico: Sorry, guys.
NBC is picking up another game show. And it's the one we had a Casting Couch on
last week. It's "Walk of Fame". It tests families' knowledge of pop culture
trivia, and it comes from Endemol USA. You win money if you match answers with
pre-recorded celebrities' answers. So it's like Scattergories if you remember
that far back.
Gordon: Or Fandango's Bonus Round
Chico: Right. Eight episodes have been greenlit. We will find out when they air
Gordon: We will. Meanwhile, let's check out what's airing now
Chico: It's a busy week.
Jason: How busy?
Chico: So busy... you're going to need THREE DVRs.
Jason: Damn :)
The date in question is Tuesday, where we get Ink Master, Perfect Score and
Whose Line is it Anyway? Wednesday is Deal With It, and Thursday is Money from
Strangers and Project Runway.
Jason: Holy ****
Gordon: Sounds like some Maximum Strength Reviews are needed next week.
Chico: I believe you are right.
Gordon: Give Jason a reason to be maximum strength fully loaded.
Chico: Let's get loaded.
We have a new Wheel of Fortune game out.
Jason: Oh yes.
It's Wheel of Fortune Cubed.
Jason: Which looks pretty interesting
Chico: It's a crossword inspired 3D block game with a WOF twist. It's 99c at the
iTunes App Store.
Jason: Cheap and fun.
Chico: You can challenge your friends through Facebook and use Cube Coins to
acquire power-ups. Cheap and easy, like the ladies I bring home. :-)
Jason: HEY NOW!
Chico: I kid, I kid... I don't bring any ladies home. But that's not all....
Wheel of Fortune now has online auditions. Go to faceofthefan.com/wheeloffortune
Jason: It doesn't hurt.
Gordon: NO, but this may.
Chico: I'm still bandaged, by the way.
Gordon: They all had their shots. You'll be fine, Chico, unless you want a
Jason: (rolls in smartboard for Gordon)
Chico: No, just fill in this blank. Are You Smarter Than....
Are YOU Smarter than...Justin 'Tinkle in a Bucket in public' Bieber. For the
Chico: Yes. Next question, please.
Jason: What a pisser
Gordon: And he can piss wherever he wants.
Jason: Ah Augusuts
Augustus the Zombie: Brains...
Chico: Have you met Justin Bieber?
Augustus the Zombie: BRAAAAAAAINS!
Gordon: I think Augustus would go hungry there.
Betty White's Off Their Rockers, has gone Off The Air.
Jason: Too bad actually. It was cheap fun programming
Chico: And it was good to see Betty White on the air again. So sad.
Gordon: Will going on a trip make you feel any better?
Chico: ...*sniffle* A little.
Jason: Where are we going?
Chico: We're going to ... India, by way of the UK.
First up, citing health concerns Amitabh Bachchan will be taping less episodes
of the Indian version of "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" this season. Moving
over to the UK, speaking of British quizzers... there's a new one out. It's
called "Pressure Pad", and it has our favorite time agent hosting a quiz in the
round above a high resolution LED screen. It'll air on BBC One in the fall.
Jason: The Time Agent - Captain Jack Harkness. Recent husband John Barrowman
Chico: Yessir. Basically a timed Millionaire with a giant screen for a floor.
Jason: Got it.
Gordon: And lots of hoes.
Chico: Hoes for days, sir. Hoes for days. (plays Luda)
In this week's Media Ho Report, Meredith Vieira gets her own show, Wayne Brady
gets to be on How I Met You Mother, both Nigella Lawson and her hubby / George
Clooney and Stacy Kiebler are splitsville...
Chico: The good news; Hey Gordon, Nigella's in play. Stacy... I called dibs.
Project Runway has people in their new poster get nekkid, Pat Sajak has Great
American Deals, Idol allows guitars into the audition when they see you can
Howard Stern's proctologist shows up on AGT, Candace loses 30 pounds, and Jef
Holm could be the next Bachelor. Chico is waiting to get Jef's autograph outside
Chico: Except where I'm not.
Gordon: But none of them are your ho of the week.
Chico: Who've you got
Jason: Yeah who?
Gordon: I have your host of the Million Dollar Quiz
Chico: He's THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS close to it isn't he?
Chico: Yessir. Coming to save another network.
Gordon: And those...are your hoes.
Chico: Okay, Brainvision's over. Switch it off. Still to come, belly up to the
bar for Pick Your Poison, but first... Who's up for some poetry?
Gordon: ME! :D
Chico: That's coming up after the break. This is WLTI. You give us 22 minutes,
we'll give you 22 steaks to feed a hungry mountain lion!
Gordon: Or a retired 62 year old police officer.
Jason: Nice kitty :)
(BrainVision has been brought to you by Captain's Don's Well Done Steak and
Eggs. They're not done until Don says they're done. Or until he's done.)