Episode 27.6 - Baby You're a Firework
July 11

Chico: And then the favorite gets upset. Speaking of upsets. We've got a lot of singers in the top 48 of tihs year's AGT... but how many are actually good enough to win? That's why we have this...it's a REALLY Big Board.
Gordon: Wee!
Chico: But it's up to America... and because America is preprogrammed to vote for singers, undoubtedly one will race through the cracks and get the W. Ask Jackie Evancho...Heck of a career she's having right about now.
Gordon: She is. And Michael Grimm is picking up steam after the show finally decided to mention him.
Chico: He's got a good record. Now who'll follow him? Let's go first into...

SINGERS/MUSICIANS.

Gordon: AKA the person who's actually going to win.
Chico: Now, remember, these are the OFFICIAL designation.
Gordon: Whether you agree with this is a different story.
Chico: First up...

ANNA GRACEMAN (singer/pianist)

Gordon: NIce, but I don't think she gets a good draw. Round 2 and out.
Chico: Chick with magic piano. Doesn't do it. One and done.

AVERY & THE CALICO HEARTS (trio)

Chico: Pure novelty act. One and done.
Gordon: It's cute. It's cuddly. It's so gone.
Chico: Yup.

DANI SHAY (singer/guitarist)

Chico: Top 12. Serious threat.
Gordon: Very serious. If she can show she's more than one dimensional, she's got a shot to win the whole thing I'll say Top 12 and outside the Top 5.
Chico: Nice.

DANIEL JOSEPH BAKER (singer/pianist)

Gordon: HIs second audition was perfect for him because it showed he has more than one dimension. If he gets a good draw, he could be a Dark Horse for the Top 12.
Chico: Indeed. It's all going to come down to the draw.
Gordon: BTW, I think sending acts straight through HURTS the acts, because it gives them less exposure than some of the other acts.
Chico: It also gives some acts less opportunity to hone their act. Rehearse it, practice it.
Gordon: Right

DEZMOND MEEKS (singer/pianist)

Chico: Top 6. Could go all the way.
Gordon: He could, but I don't think he will. Knocked out before the Top 12.
Chico: Alright.

DYLAN ANDRE (singer/guitarist)

Gordon: Hot guy with guitar (TM). Top 6.
Chico: I'll go top 12. He's a hot guy AND he has a guitar, but I don't quite remember him.

LANDAU EUGENE MURPHY (singer)

Gordon: Winner.
Chico: He goes through to the final show. He's the winner this year. He has that mass appeal.
Gordon: If he shows he has more than one dimension, he's got it. Of course now that we said that, he'll be the first person out.

LYS AGNES (singer)

Gordon: She gets to the Top 12,but I think that's it.
Chico: I don't think she gets that far. Top 24, but that's it.

MAURICIO HERRERA (singer/dancer)

Chico: And the run of good singers ends here. DONE.
Gordon: How did he get here?
Gordon: here
Chico: I have no idea.
Gordon: Here Jason, vote on him to win the whole thing?
Chico: Be kind, man.
Gordon: Kind? Is that some sort of martian word?

MONA LISA (twins)

Chico: .... twins......That's top 12 right there.
Gordon: I see them getting to the Top 24 and then getting stopped there. You cant' have 13 singers in your Top 12.
Chico: On a technicality :-)

MONET (singer)

Chico: Who? One and done.
Gordon: The Cash Monet has gone bankrupt

POPLYFE (band)

Chico: I don't know, Tim. One and done.
Gordon: THere's usually one band that get's in and makes a mark. This isn't that band.
Chico: We'll get to that.

SH'BOSS BOYS (rappers)

Gordon: This is the first time that we get Rappers to make the Top 40. I think thge novelty gets them past round 1. I think the lack of talent and the wrong audicnce stops them from continuing,
Chico: Yep. Again, the audience.
Gordon: America, in this show, skews old, not those damn whippersnapper rappers who won't get off my lawn. Crazy kids.
Chico: Nothing against the boys, but this is not exactly ATL or NYC or MIA here. Are you going to shake your cane at them, Gordon?
Gordon: No. I'm going to sic my rolling pin-carrying wife at them.
Chico: Go get'em.

SQUONK OPERA (band)

Chico: ... neither is this band.
Gordon: I think they got there because they're different. Being too different gets rid of them in the first round.

TAYLOR DAVIS (singer/guitarist)

Chico: Don't remember much of Taylor. One and Done.
Gordon: Oh I disagree. Another Dark horse. Gets through round one. Could be competing against Dani Shea for a spot in the Top 6.
Chico: The first difference of opinion. We'll see who's right on this.

FIDDLEHEADS (fiddlers)

Chico: Top 24. Remember Cliff & The Old No. 7?
Gordon: I think they could be a darkhorse as long as they don't do what Cliff and the Old #7 did.
Chico: Meanwhile, it's on to...

The DANCERS!

Gordon: Pretty people with one group making the Top 10 and no one making the Top 5.
Chico: I have one group in mind. Maybe two.

ATTACK DANCE CREW

Chico: Not this one, though. One and done.
Gordon: Nopers. Bye bye

FATALLY UNIQUE

Chico: Not this one, either. Fatal.
Gordon: No

MIAMI ALL-STARS

Chico: This one.. MAYBE. Top 24, strong chance at top 12.
Gordon: They are a first round win group. Can Miami take them further? I can see them in the Top 12.

PURRFECT ANGELZ

Chico: America... doesn't get cat girls.
Gordon: They could get through round...ok maybe not, but I'd like them to.
Chico: We know YOU would.

SAM B.

Chico: The last time a solo dancer got through, we got Haspop. I don't sense a reprise with this guy.
Gordon: What the hell is this?
Chico: I'll take that as a no.
Gordon: You take that correctly.

SILHOUETTES

Chico: Different enough to turn heads. Top 24.
Gordon: I think this could be the first group that could win the whole thing. Top 12 lock if they can keep it fresh.
Chico: We'll see...

SNAP BOOGIE

Gordon: Gets past round 1. Really needs to jump his game to get past the heavies.
Chico: Agreed. How about...

STEVEN RETCHLESS

Chico: If you don't remember, Steven is... a pole dancer.
Gordon: I think there'll be lots of retching - but the women vote. I could see him get an upset week 1 win.
Chico: You think he'll be the upset...
Gordon: Depeonds on who he's bracketed in with but possibly.
Chico: I got the upset...

TEAM iLUMINATE

Chico: Throw some Daft Punk in there and you have a top 12 squad.
Gordon: I don't think it would be an upset. I think they'll go far. Top 12
Chico: Next...

MAGIC.

Gordon: Here's the problems I have with all of the magicians. Everything is watch something appear and watch them all disappear.
Chico: That's pretty much because you've seen one trick, you've seen'em all.
Gordon: True. No one has anything different. It's all variation. So Im going to make a bllanket none of them get to the Round of 12 without judges assistance.
Chico: Well, that makes MY job easier...

LANDON SWANK, SCOTT ALEXANDER, SETH GRABEL... all out in the first round.

Gordon: I'll put Scott in the second round, but no further.
Chico: And finally...

PERFORMING/DANGER/MISCELLANEOUS

CAPTAIN STAB TUGGO & MAYBELLE (sideshow act)

Gordon: I'll just make a stab that they don't make the next round.
Chico: Nice.
Gordon: I do have a cutting wit

DUO AERO (acrobats)

Gordon: Only get past Round 1 with the judges helpo.
Chico: I have a feeling an acrobat makes the final 12. This one isn't it, but they'll go to 24.
Gordon: No they won't.

ECHO OF ANIMAL GARDENS

Gordon: How do animal acts do on this show again?
Chico: 0 for the world.
Gordon: I don't see that mark changing.
Chico: A talking bird! Say bye bye...

FEARLESS FLORES FAMILY (stunt bikers)

Gordon: Get past Round 1 thanks to an assist from the judges.
Chico: They have an 8 year old. That's so cute....Buh bye
Gordon: 8 year olds are only cute when they sing. Not when they ride bikes

FRANK MILES (danger act)

Gordon: Nope. Out in ROund 1.
Chico: Sorry, Frank.

GEECHY GUY (comic)

Chico: Top 24. Top 12 MAYBE.
Gordon: I feel all Geechy all over. Out in Round 1.

IAN JOHNSON (yo-yo-ist)

Gordon: No-no on the Yo-yo. Out in ROund 1.
Chico: Agreed.

J. CHRIS NEWBERG (comic guitarist)

Chico: ... Stephen Lynch he ain't. One and done.
Gordon: Hot comic with guitar (TM) I think he could sneak into round 2.

MELISSA VILLASENOR (impressionist)

Chico: Top 12, easy.
Gordon: Oh no. She needs more than impressions. Round 1, easy, Round 2: no.

PROFESSOR SPLASH (shallow water diver)

Chico: Ouch. Forget going home, he's going to the ER after round 1.
Gordon: I agree. I think the first target should be a bed of nails.
Chico: FINISH HIM!
Gordon: (sploosh) next?

SANDOU TRIO RUSSIAN BAR (Russian bar)

Chico: They don't pass this bar exam without some help
Gordon: What can you really do with this? They get past Round 1, but are stopped in Round 2

SUMMERWIND SKIPPERS (rope jumpers)

Chico: Dark horse for round 2.
Gordon: Um...no. Out in Round 1.

SMAGE BROS. RIDING SHOWS (motorcycle stunt shows)

So it's either the Flores or the Smages... I'll go with the Smages. Round 2.
Gordon: We already got kids that do it and the kids are cuter. Out in Round 1.

THE RHINESTONE ROPERS (Western act)

Chico: Git a rope. Out in round 1.
Gordon: Ride Those Doggies. out in Round 1.

THOSE FUNNY LITTLE PEOPLE

Chico: The novelty wears thin. Out in round 1.
Gordon: THey are cute, but what can they do? Out in ROund 1.

CHARLES PEACHOCK (juggler)

Gordon: Out in Round 1.
Chico: There's only one good juggling act. Unfortunately they were in season 1. OUT in round 1. I miss the Passing Zone.

THOMAS JOHN (juggler)

Chico: ... did I mention how much I miss the Passing Zone? Out in round 1
Gordon: I mean this really is a Passing Zone. Because I'm passing. Pass. Round 1.

YELLOW DESIGN STUNT TEAM (BMX bikers)

Chico: ... Sneak into round 2.
Gordon: How far they go will be based on how dangerous they can get. Dark Horse.
Chico: Right on. AND FINALLY...

ZUMA ZUMA (African acrobats)

Chico: Round of 12.
Gordon: They'll get to Round 2, but thats when the frog gets eaten by the ball people. Yes, I am a geek. And proud of it.
Chico: And now that that's over with... congratulations on the Passing Zone winning AGT season 6. :-) It only took them five years.
Gordon: Actually, Leonid could have won. He did audition...again.
Chico: Well, let's not talk about that now, let's talk about what we like to talk about ... More idiots after the break.

(Brought to you by the Repo Games Bulletproof Vest. After this week, you'll be glad you have it.)

Gordon: Perfect for the people who are gunning for you.
Chico: You'll see that in action this Tuesday at 11.
Gordon: Now the shooter's rationale may not be entirely be accurate. We'll throw up 6 more notions that may also not be accurate - or maybe they are. Chico, start us off.
Chico: Glad to.

Darren McMullen, host of Love in the Wild, describes the very show he hosts like this "Ultimately, let's not take ourselves too seriously. We're having amazing experiences and we're here to find something special."

Gordon: Accuracy. this is a social experiment, like Beauty and the Geek. And what I like about this show is that the winners get no prize money, so this is really about looking for love. They are taking it seriously by not taking it it that seriously.
Chico: It is a social experiment, and the prize really is true love... or a lasting friendship. I can't think of anything MORE special. So accurate. Good on ya, mate.
Gordon: Next one...

The Apprentice winning the Best Reality show in Britain was the right decision.

Chico: Over Strictly Come Sequins? Over X Factor? Over Britain's Got Talent? IDIOCY.
Gordon: I agree, but for a different reason. Celebrity Apprentice blows.
Chico: THANK YOU
Gordon: Next one?
Chico: Next...

101 Ways to Leave a Game Show... is a modest hit.

Gordon: By Modest if you think that means the budget justifies the show, then sure, but hit? No. IDIOCY. That being said, it has the Fear Factor production values and budget,l so it won't shock me if it gets renewed.
Chico: Agreed. It holds onto its audience week after week, but it's getting killed by AGT. That said, it's still harmless enough for another go
Chico: You know, much in the way M2WI is harmless enough to renew without harm.
Gordon: Well like MTWI, this works beter as a 30 minute show.
Chico: Right. Syndiction?
Gordon: No way.
Chico: K. Next?
Gordon: Next one.

When Expedition: Impossible gets renewed for season 2, they need to leave their emotionless host in Morocco.

Chico: ACCURATE. He works best as the narrator. For the face, you need someone with a bit of life in 'em. Yes, it's a serious trip, but it's not THAT serious.
Gordon: Actually...IDIOCY. The show is about the journey and contestants, not the host. If they replaced the host, it could go away from the idea of the journey.
Chico: Points taken. Next up...

While we're on replacing hosts... Something will get lost from the change from Jill Wagner to Vanessa Minnillo next season on Wipeout.

Gordon: May I be blunt here for a second?
Chico: You're asking permission for a change? :-)
Gordon: Well, you know, I figured once in a while...
Chico: Ok, go
Gordon: How do you like Jill Wagner's breasts?
Chico: Very much, thanks.
Gordon: How do you like Vanessa MIlano's breasts?
Chico: Meh.
Gordon: So then something gets lost in the translation, because that's really all we pay attention about when it comes to the wiomen of Wipeout. So I'll have to say accuracy. Because let's be honest. Guys who watch Jill and Vanessa for their interviews are the same guys who tells their wives that they read Playboy for the articles.
Chico: Well, here's the thing...What's the timbre of Wipeout? Pain in the name of lighthearted entertainment. Jill you could laugh along with. Vanessa... I've never seen her laugh in her entire life.
Gordon: She'll have to learn.
Chico: So not only is there an aesthetic lost, there's also an attitude adjustment to be had. So ACCURACY. Jill's just light enough to work. Vanessa... not light at all.
Gordon: So if Jill has a breast reduction, yo'd like her just as much.
Chico: Yes
Gordon: You lie like a lying liar who lies.
Chico: Yeah yeah, whatever. Last one.
Gordon: Last one...

We need as an X Factor Judge...Lady Gaga.

Chico: ACCURATE. She's about as blunt as Simon and a better dresser. =p
Gordon: I don't think she has that 'MEAN' bone. I think she could turn into another Hoff - and that's not a good thing. IDIOCY. However, I do think she'd be better than Nicole.
Chico: We already saw that Nicole judges about as well as a side of bacon. I mean... Think about it. Who was the "Mean" one on the Sing-Off? You could vote for Ben Folds on that one.
Gordon: I dont mind mean. I enjoy mean. But mean has to come with accurate criticism. Ben Fold was 'mean', but he was accurate.
Chico: Right on. He was "Randy Jackson mean". He was "Len Goodman mean" He was "Gordon Pepper mean"
Gordon: Conversely, Matti Leshem was mean and inaccurate, which is why he never found another judging job again, and why Star Search died the season that he was a judge.
Chico: And with that, we end AorI for now. Next up... a speed up.
Gordon: We'll get there after this!

(Brought to you by The Bachelor Matchmaker Tour! We have all sorts of TV Tours, so why not The Bachelor? Surely we can make matches all across America - more than our match rate on the TV show. Proudly sponsored by Chico Alexander.)

Gordon: You know., you'd have a better chance of me going on this tour than American Idol.
Chico: Probably
Gordon: You'd go also, right?
Chico: Depends. You payin'? :-)
Gordon: Sure. I have money coming to me from Jason Block's medley of lost bets.
Chico: NICE. All I have is this lousy Speed Round... which starts in three... two... NOW!
Gordon: Big Brother: Who goes away?
Chico: Porsche.
Gordon: I'm going to say Keith.
Chico: America's Got Talent. Who's a definite in?
Chico: I'm going Miami All-Stars.
Gordon: I'm going to say Anna Graceman. Expedition Impossible: Another weak team leaving or will we get an upset in the snow?
Chico: No upset yet.
Gordon: Agreed
Chico: Which means... either the fishermen or the Kansans are going away. Since the Kansans are women... I'm going with them.
Gordon: I'll go with the ladies leaving. Do we have email entering?
Chico: We do. And it's on the best wall on Facebook.
Gordon: Excellent. What do we got?
Chico: We asked you what show you'd like to shoot off into a sky like a firework. Antonio Gray said...

“

Antonio Gray Love in the Wild is just like Temptation Island...

”

Chico: No it isn't. Love in the Wild is actually lighthearted and somewhat interesting.
Gordon: Well, I think it's only interesting because it's the only option in a sea of killer squid ink.
Chico: There you go. This week, let's ask this...

“

WLTI'S BIG FACEBOOK QUESTION! Big Brother 13: interesting strategy bringing in dynamic duos or just another lame twist?

”

Gordon: Where's my pretzel
Chico: You'll get it. Meanwhile, we hope you'll get it over at Facebook.com/wlti.gsnn
Gordon: And when you get it - youve got it. Special thanks to no one in particular except Jason Block and a Teens Jeopardy winner for letting me borrow their clothes.
Chico: ... which in my mind is still as wrong as you can get.
Gordon: I'm practicing my auditions for when either Marv Albert or Elliot Spitzer retires.
Chico: Okay, while you do that, I'm going to get ready for next week when the grownups return to Jeopardy! and the second Big Brother casualty of the season is announced. Until then, for Gordon and everyone at GSNN, I'm Chico Alexander. Game over. And spread the love! :-)