Episode 17.10
March 10

Jason: I can see that tag line read by Don LaFontaine.
Chico: No you can't. It's Don LaFontaine. It has to be heard.
Jason: Thank you Mr. Literal :P
Chico: Ha ha Ha ha HA...
Gordon: So it was a dark and stormy night. A ship crashed on shore and a bunch of reviews came out. And now...we get to review them. Right Chico?
Chico: Yep. And there were six shows, so we had to supersize. Thus was born... "Maximum Strength Capsule Reviews"...
Gordon: Yay!
Chico: Use only as directed. First up, Randy Jackson is looking for America's Best Dance Crew on MTV. Watching it, it's like Dance War... only not boring. The bad thing, though... Seizure inducing cinematography.
Gordon: This show has become a guilty pleasure. The Dancers know what they are doing, and the choreography is slick. The cinematography has gotten better.
Chico: And it's good to see Mario Lopez hosting stuff again.
Gordon: it is. He is a sold host. The show gets a solid B.
Chico: Agreed. Solid B.
Jason: I still think it's too street for me. But fun. B.

	RANDY JACKSON PRESENTS AMERICA'S BEST DANCE CREW - MTV
	CHICO	GORDON	JASON	AVERAGE-O-MATIC
	B	B	B	B

Chico: Well, J.. you're uh... what's the word I'm looking for?
Jason: White as Wonder Bread.
Chico: That's it.
Gordon: I like street. It's fun and it's something that most of us haven't seen. A nice change of pace from all the generic 'me too' shows.
Chico: That's what I was looking for. I like slick presentation. Almost makes you forget about broadcast. Speaking of which, we have a broadcast entry in Oprah's Big Give. We're looking for America's best... giver.
Jason: Didn't see it.
Chico: I did. I didn't really like what I saw.
Gordon: I thought it was just ok. What I don't like is how they are being judged.
Chico: I mean, this is like the Amazing Race... but with Oprah playing the role of Phil... which is a shame because Nate Berkus is the host. I also thought it was just OK. But for a different reason.
Jason: Which is?
Chico: It came across less as a game and less as an advocate for real change in our world... and more about pushing the Oprah mythos. It's more show, less game.
Gordon: I thought they were going to be judged on idea, not presentation. None of these people are professionals in that department. I would have loved to see 'outside of the box' ideas get rewarded - and they weren't. Oprah is interfering in a really good game idea, and that makes me sad. C.
Jason: Style over substance, then?
Chico: You're being far too giving. I was going with C-. Basically, J.
Jason: Too bad.

	OPRAH'S BIG GIVE - ABC
	CHICO	GORDON	JASON	AVERAGE-O-MATIC
	C-	C	NO GRADE	C-

Gordon: I'm giving it hope that they can get their act together. Next one?
Chico: Sticking with ABC for a bit, we get "Here Come the Newlyweds".
Jason: Again...missed it.
Gordon: At least The Big Give was a fresh idea. There is nothing original about this show, ranging from the challenges to the vote-offs. And do we really need to see their psychotherapy sessions?
Chico: You didn't miss much.
Gordon: I gave Oprah's Big Give a C so there was a show I could balance it off with. D for Dreck.
Chico: Again, you're being far too giving. F for epic Fail. And I'll give you three reasons why.
Jason: Bring it.
Chico: 1) it's an idea that was already tried... with less success. 2) I could've done without the cross-promoting of "Dancing with the Stars"...
Gordon: Race to the Altar, anyone?
Chico: and C) One of the couples is already divorced.
Gordon: I guess they don't win.
Jason: Nope.
Gordon: Well, those are all peripheral things having nothing to do with the show.
Chico: I know, but it kinda takes away from the believability. And what's good about the show?
Gordon: The host is ok, and....ok. you got me. F.

	HERE COME THE NEWLYWEDS - ABC
	CHICO	GORDON	JASON	AVERAGE-O-MATIC
	F	F	NO GRADE	F

Chico: It's bad when you can't even get Pat Bullard to save you. And he hosted freaking Card Sharks.
Gordon: Pat Bullard of Card Sharks 2001 fame.
Chico: Yep.
Gordon: Not to mention the games. Figure out who the woman is based on their kisses? Wha?
Jason: Yowch.
Chico: So again, Block.. you didn't miss much
Gordon: I didn't want to fail him again because of that, but...I really have no choice in the matter. Sorry Pat. My guess is that the only reason why this saw the light of day was because of the strike.
Chico: Yeah. Fourth up... Pussycat Dolls Present Girlicious. Instead of one new singer, they're looking for a new girl group. This show only got the greenlight for two reasons...
Gordon: It's Pop Stars! It's The Thunder Down Under! It's...going in the same place where the other shows went. F.
Chico: 1) The CW doesn't have anything better on. and 2) Obvious strike programming.
Jason: And again...dull surprise...I missed this.
Chico: Again.. didn't miss much. F. Barrel, meet bottom.

	PUSSYCAT DOLLS PRESENT GIRLICIOUS - CW
	CHICO	GORDON	JASON	AVERAGE-O-MATIC
	F	F	NO GRADE	F

Gordon: Next?
Chico: Next is an entry from the folks at Lifetime... Your Mama Don't Dance.
Jason: Did I miss much?
Gordon: Remember when we were talking about those generic dance shows that bring nothing new to the party?
Jason: Uh yeah
Chico: Right..
Gordon: Found it. I could have sworn I saw this a few weeks ago on Crowned. It worked just as well there. C-.
Jason: And to the people out there...I apologize for missing a lot of this stuff.
Gordon: Jason didn't want to be sickened more than what he already was.
Jason: There you go.
Chico: Well, I'm going to be a little more lenient on this, because... You know, for pros who have to dance with their parents, they're being good sports about it. Too bad the parents are a little wooden.  So who's more wooden, the host or the contestants?
Gordon: I don't think any of them want to be on The Wicker Man any time soon.

	YOUR MAMA DON'T DANCE - Lifetime
	CHICO	GORDON	JASON	AVERAGE-O-MATIC
	C	C-	NO GRADE	C-

Chico: So yeah, it's a C here. I'm hoping it'll get better. Finally?
Gordon: Finally...Pros Vs. Joes 3. 64 Joes. new format. Does it work for you?
Chico: I'm going to go with yes. It's a refreshing change.
Jason: I saw one episode...and liked what I saw. And if you didn't know...Kurt Angle...legit bad ass. For those who don't know...he won the 1996 Gold Medal in Wrestling...with a broken neck. For real. That isn't wrestling hyperbole.
Chico: As if the show needed a shot in the arm. But this ... this is good. A-.
Jason: This is very good. B+
Gordon: There was also more action involved and the pace was quickened, which was nice. And the Pros they brought in were of a better quality. A- for me, too

	PROS VS. JOES: LAST JOE STANDING - Spike
	CHICO	GORDON	JASON	AVERAGE-O-MATIC
	A-	A-	B+	A-

Chico: So there you go. Everyone feeling better?
Jason: Much.
Gordon: Take 6 tablets and call us in the morning.
Chico: There you go :-) So what do we have next, G?
Gordon: Next, we get to vent out our anger on people who probably deserve it.
Jason: YES!
Chico: What's My Zinger after the break...

(brought to you by Celebrity Proctology. Forget Celebrity Rehab. We want to see people take one up the Yin Yang. Special guests this week are Mike Fleiss and Omarosa.)

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