November 27, 2006

Chico: What's good, it's Chico Alexander, hoping you've had a safe Thanksgiving... And hoping you've managed to stay awake long enough to receive a week's worth of game show bliss right now. Ain't that right, fellas?
Jason and Gordon: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Chico: YO TRYPTOPHAN MEN!
Jason: What? Huh?
Gordon: Wednesday Turkey Dinner + Show Me the Money = Enough tryptophan to go around.
Chico: This'll get your mojo up and running.... FROM SOMEWHERE IN AMERICA, WE LOVE TO INTERRUPT... IS.. ON!
Jason: WOO HOO!
Chico: Mojo up and running?
Jason: Works for me. Of course a good shot of coffee will help.
Chico: Dude, I have coffee, MDX, and Red Bull in my system. Either I'm going to die or I'm going to fly.
Jason: How the hell do you not burn out your keyboard?
Gordon: My mojo is working, and so were some of the celebrities on Jeopardy. Notice I say SOME.
Jason: Yes there were some marginally good games before the regular people came back.
Gordon: Chico, how many sides does a hexagon have?
Chico: How many sides does a hexagon have... The Peloponnesian War? Bacon? Marilyn Monroe? Space: 1999?
Jason: Peanuts?
Chico: Uh... Six?
Gordon: Congratulations Chico. You have the same intelligence quotient as a Jeopardy Celebrity.
Chico: WOO-HOO!
Jason: Sounds about right to me.
Gordon: I covered this all on this week's State of Play, but...what happened?
Chico: I'm covering this in TNG this week, but for me at least, it's a matter of "You know what... I'm here... It's for charity anyway... What the hell."
Gordon: And that, amazingly enough, was my reaction. What the Hell?
Jason: It was more about the celebrities than about the game itself. Sad, but true.
Chico: It's the way it always is.. unless you have celebs who came to play. We started this particular run with those.
Gordon: It's like a portion of the celebrities weren't there at all to play the game. They were there to either self media ho (which is forgivable) or to make a mockery of the game (which is not)
Chico: Credibility assessment. Names come to your mind, go.
Jason: Mario Cantone, Martin Short
Chico: Yes... Yes.
Gordon: At least Mario sort of played the game - and actually won his.
Jason: Who are you thinking of?
Chico: Paul Shaffer and Susan Lucci... who were in the same game.
Gordon: Lets talk Paul Shaffer and Susan Lucci, who wound up with a combined $1,000 after Double Jeopardy.
Chico: Scott Turow, if you're reading this, I have THAT much more respect for you, even though I have no idea who the heck you are.
Jason: Scott Turow is a lawyer/author. He wrote Presumed Innocent.
Chico: A "recovering lawyer", I hear?
Jason: A great book and a great movie.
Gordon: And the sad thing is that I've met Paul Shaffer. He is a VERY smart guy. I also was at the taping, and they actually do a full mock game before the real game. When Turow blew Lucci and Shaffer both out in the mock game, I thought 'Uh oh'. Did they have a huge brainwipe before the show?
Chico: I have... absolutely no idea.
Jason: No--it was a vision of things to come. How many times did you hear..."what do I do now" from both of them? It felt like "Battle of the Jaywalk All-Stars".
Gordon: That's the thing. None of them should have an 'uh oh, what do I do now' look on their face, because they had played a FULL GAME before the taping started.
Chico: Which proves that you put a smart celeb in front of a podium and give them a Jeopardy! weapon... Deer in headlights, switch to default mode, hey I'm too cool for this crowd. Some people are able to snap their skid and become righteous. Others... get blown out the water.
Jason: Which is why I DESPISED these 2 weeks. It was like pulling teeth.
Gordon: Jason - you've dealt with the audience for an umpteenth number of airings. How did you deal with it?
Jason: Well, it was like this.  The first game was the hardest. I had to prove to myself that I could win this game. And again, when I played it...it was me, the two contestants the board and Alex. Nothing more.  Once I got into podium #1--It was like I was in "control" of my destiny.
Gordon: What about Millionaire, when you had a full audience?
Chico: And a phone bank.
Jason: Me and Regis. I blocked it out. Although I played it off for laughs a bit when "I felt their love." Which I did of course. It's not an easy skill to do mind you.
Chico: You have to laugh sometime, especially when you feel love. Takes the edge off.
Jason: Because a lot of people have never been on TV before. The hardest part of being a game show contestant is realizing that you are playing the game with just the host. The audience technically means nothing.
Gordon: True. Did any of you feel any love from the second episode for Show Me The Money?
Jason: God no.
Chico: It didn't get any better. Granted, it didn't get any worse (after all, how could you do worse than show #1?)
Gordon: Was it just me, or was that the most boring $740,000 you've ever seen handed out?
Jason: Yes it was.
Chico: Just seemed to stretch out.
Jason: The pacing was bad, the host was terrible. Ugly crap.
Gordon: Not only that. The gameplay was all wrong. The only time 'action' comes into the game is when the Killer Card comes out. If you answer the first 3 questions with major amounts and then knock out the Killer Card, the game becomes very boring.
Chico: And you know the kicker? The thing that proves that someone up there has a sense of humor?
Jason: Sure.
Chico: The show placed second in the time slot.
Jason: To what?
Chico: Jericho. Good show, that Jericho.
Jason: Cool. And how bad did the ratings drop from week one to two?
Gordon: Show me the Ratings!
Chico: First, last week. The 90 minute show averaged 8.9/14. The second week. 5.2/9
Gordon: Yipes
Chico: Now this is up against Jericho, a movie, Madonna, and America's Next Top Model. Welcome to the holiday doldrums.
Jason: And if it was a hit, it would be increasing. No wonder why ABC is plugging the hell out of it.
Chico: Of course, ABC will spin this dizzy, and they'll get an ego boost now that this show is going to Australia. As is 1 vs. 100.
Gordon: I feel sorry for the poor Australians.
Jason: What did we do to them? They give us Temptation...we give them this?
Chico: Hey, if they can do better than us, more power to them. Endemol obviously sees something that is there. It may take me a while to see it, but... You gotta give them that.
Gordon: I see stripper poles, William Shatner and a boring retread of a game.
Chico: Is it me or does Shatner drag this whole premise down?
Gordon: I don't think it's Shatner. I think he's stuck with what he has to work with,
Chico: I think it is Shatner. I mean, compare Iron Chef America to Iron Chef USA... Essentially, they're the same game, but Shatner drug the premise.
Jason: Yes he does, and he is a symptom of a major problem right now.
Gordon: I think Shatner, Saget and Mandel all suffer from Dragoutitis. Mandel and Shatner more than Saget. I also think, however, that they are being told by the producers to play it that way.
Jason: Which is the fact that the network execs think they can throw ANYONE on as a host.
Chico: Almost a side-effect of the whole mentality of "This is how you make a game show in 2006", that idea, J. Fact is... and ANYONE will agree with me... You can't.
Jason: No you can't.
Chico: Heh... All this talk about the show, and we didn't but go over last week's result for about, oh, all of 15 seconds.
Gordon: True. By the way, the fact that someone wins $740,000 is a mere afterthought of the discussion and the fact that the win is hardly mentioned anywhere I think speaks volumes over the interest on the show.
Chico: What interest?
Jason: There are very few people who care about the show.
Chico: People like us who are supposed to, for better or for worse... hard to care about it outside of the vacuum it's creating, but... oh well.
Gordon: I mean it's hard to care when there's no game with the show.
Chico: But... dancers are cute, though :-) Celine Dion.... not so much.
Gordon: Whoa there. I like Celine Dion.
Jason: Are your serious?
Gordon: I love her voice.
Jason: I like the Spanish Game Show dancers.
Chico: She's alright... She a physical stick, though.
Gordon: She has a very nice voice. Is she overplayed? Yes. But her voice is great.
Chico: Why are we talking about Celine Dion? Simple equation: Sweeps + DOND = DOND's biggest freaking fan, Celine Dion.
Jason: Oh btw...kudos to NBC and the Tonight Show for a cute DoND and giving the whole Military audience a bunch of stuff Thursday night.
Chico: *applause*
Jason: It was very funny.
Chico: And by biggest freaking fan, we mean biggest profile fan.
Gordon: Mass kudos. Too bad the contestants on the Thanksgiving show couldn't reciprocate, as they picked off large money amounts like they were pumpkins.
Jason: Yes.
Chico: In the end, the most a player walked out with was $59,000. Pretty low key for a big-ticket event.
Jason: They got the wing.
Gordon: And left most of the main course on the table.
Chico: You go into a two-hour show... with Celine Dion... on Thanksgiving... you DON'T WIN $59,000.. It's physically not possible.
Jason: It happened...it went against the laws of Game Show Sweepdom.
Chico: I mean it is, but you usually save that for a lesser show.
Gordon: Just goes to show that Deal or No Deal is not fixed.
Chico: Nope.
Jason: Never. This is 2006 almost 2007... I don't think that could happen these days without people finding out.
Chico: Nope.
Gordon: Another set of people who are not having a good Thanksgiving - The Chos, as they get booted on last week's Amazing Race.
Chico: Karma... it's a funny thing.
Jason: What happened?
Chico: Well, the Chos were in cahoots with Lyn & Karlyn. And they honored that pact all the way through a roadblock, going so far as to wait for them to finish before they continued on. It came back to bite them as Lyn & Karlyn ditched them the first chance they got. They come in fourth. Chos come in fifth... and Philiminated. So the question becomes now... Is it better to run the Race as a race or as an alliance?
Gordon: The answer is Yes.
Chico: Are you talking in code?
Gordon: You can run both successfully. There have been alliances in the past that have worked extremely well. But like in Survivor, the good teams know when to dissolve an alliance. Lyn and Karlyn knew that the Chos were turning into dead weight, so they ditched them. The cheerleaders and models are working as an alliance, but they are both planning on the right time to stab each other in the back.  That's a sign of good game playing.
Chico: Which may be soon coming. We're down to four teams. The finish line is near.
Jason: December 10 is the finale.
Chico: Now we wait until the All-Star Race. Thoughts?
Jason: All-Star Race? Rob and Amber should win it. Period.
Chico: Unless of course, they don't. Remember the debacle that was Alisonny? As the Amazing Race proves, nothing is absolute.
Gordon: I would consider Romber the flat out favorites also. They should have won AR 7. They are savvier than most teams who won the competition. They will already have an edge that way.
Jason: Even with the "plane" incident. They were ahead...and albeit for bad Spanish, they would be a winner.
Gordon: Nothing is absolute. That's what makes the race so fun. Romber could be out after Lap 1.
Chico: I'm not going to even say that "anyone but Romber" is going to get my nod, but until I get the full roster, I can't throw my weight behind one team or another. I will just say that they know how to play their own game and that may more than likely work to their advantage.
Gordon: Honestly, I would. I think they match up pretty well over any other team out there.
Jason: I am with Gordon on this.
Chico: Speaking of Matching up... You watching Match Game: Behind the Blank tonight?
Jason: Oh yeah. This should be awesome.
Chico: Last interview with Gene Rayburn...  Some of the more notorious regulars.
Jason: 3 hours of classic episodes...a preview of the DVD.
Gordon: Highlights of the best of the show
Chico: You'll literally BLANK in your pants.
Jason: You'll see why our fans voted it the #2 show of all time.
Chico: Because we're eggheads like that. And when we don't get our Jeopardy!, we're ANGRY!
Jason: Even when celebrities are on it
Chico: But we can live without Starface... and from the looks of it... we may have to.
Jason: Sorry Danny...not that great of a show. It was OK.
Gordon: Speaking of GSN, have you notice that while most networks are going dark in December, that GSN has a lot of original programming going on?
Chico: Opportunist. Can't fault them for that.
Jason: That's cool...
Chico: What we can do is point out what we know based on the information we have.. It's time for a Extreme-Rumor-Alert Big Board!
Gordon: BIG BOARD!

Chico: First, the blurb.
Gordon: Blurb Me
Chico: What follows is based on information we got from a certain source. Until GSN gives us official word, we cannot and will not be held accountable if it isn't true. We think parts of it are... Take with a grain of salt. Here's what we got... and you will love it.
Gordon: Maybe
Chico: December 3... WorldWide Web Games final.
Jason: With Todd Newton as host.
Gordon: I think that kids should get more respect - especially these kids, who are very very smart.
Chico: December 8.... UltimateBet.net Aruba Classic, now separate from the WPT.
Jason: Nice.
Chico: December 9/10... Chuck Barris Weekend with his best shows on Saturday night... and The Chuck Barris Story: My Life on the Edge on Sunday night.
Jason: Chuckie Baby gets his due. I will be watching this one.
Gordon: Should be interesting to see Chucky Baby demystify his life.
Jason: And how much is truth. His truth or the real truth :-)
Chico: Whatever truth we get, it's bound to rock your sock off. December 11... Best of High Stakes Poker.
Jason: Gabe and AJ and lots of poker greats doing their thing. One of the best poker shows on the air today.
Chico: If not THE best.
Gordon: Poker Superstars Invitational is still the best. This is definitely up there, though.
Chico: And here's the part that's "unsubstantiated rumor", so we'll keep it at this... January is reportedly just as busy. Happy birthday to me.
Gordon: Amazing what a budget infusion thanks to Playmania will do to your programming, ain't it?
Chico: They still don't have a Choppler though.
Jason: Praise be to Shandi and Mel.
Chico: Call me when you get a Choppler. Meanwhile, LET'S DO THE NEWS!
Jason: Jackets! Mice! Choppler! Cue!
Gordon: Uh...Chico?
Chico: ...yes?
Gordon: The mice are sleeping. Too much tryptophan in their system.
Jason: So is the cat.
Chico: Crap... Auxiliary power. *plugs the thing in*
Gordon: Careful!
Chico: *gets shocked*
Gordon: Sigh.
Chico: Okay, daddy, that's yours...
Gordon: Hey Chico - you seeing flying turkeys?
Chico: Among other things..
Gordon: Roll that beautiful Turkey Footage.
Jason: Gobble. Gobble.

*Turkeys singing "Move Closer to Your World*

(Doug: Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)

Chico: Too... many... turkeys...
Gordon: Wow. Singing turkeys. Neat.
Chico: But enough about GSNN Karaoke Night. :-)
Jason: HEY!
Chico: First up, Gordon?

As to be expected, The Canadian Version of Deal Or No Deal got over 100,000 applicants. Meanwhile, Canadian Idol Volumes 1-3 are coming out right about now.

Chico: We love Canada.
Jason: I am glad 100,000 people gave it a shot.
Chico: If this takes off, you think Howie will have to pull double duty?
Jason: Why not... His cue will be..."Open the case...eh!" Sorry--that was bad.
Chico: It really was
Gordon: Booo
Chico: Next up...

Lifetime has ordered a new reality dating series, "Gay, Straight or Taken", in which one woman will go out with three men to determine who's the single one.

Jason: Oh boy.
Chico: They win a dream date for two if they're right. Sounds familiar?
Jason: This sounds like a twist on "Playing it Straight."
Chico: I was thinking "Fake-a-Date" minus the fourth wheel. Eighteen shows have been ordered, the first two premiering January 8.
Gordon: Playing It Straight, Fake-A-Date, Boy Meeets Boy, Et al. None of those shows were hits, and the first didn't complete its run on TV.
Jason: So we hope for the best...but the track record isn't that hot.
Chico: And the less said about Boy Meets Boy, the better. Bravo can do a lot of things... except dating reality shows... and Dani Behr? Forgetaboutit.
Gordon: Evan Marriott...gone from your TV screen. Sarah...gone from your Nutrisystem commercials. However, we still have those bondage movies.
Chico: Memories.... Next?
Gordon: Did anyone have any Haterade with their turkey and stuffing this past weekend?
Jason: No, but I need a shot.
Chico: Nah. I was responsible and just had a... errmm. Who's your Haterade this week?

I don't expect Kelly Ripa having Thanksgiving with Clay Aiken or Rosie O'Donnell anytime in the near future. Kelly says it's all about Clay being rude. Clay says it's all about Kelly being an ass before he was famous and Rosie says it's all about homophobia. We had this spat span over not ONE tv show - but TWO (The View, and Live). Gobble, gobble gobble.

Chico: Interesting thing about that. According to the Insider, Barbara squashed it.
Jason: Really? What was the rumor?
Chico: I'm still waiting for Clay and Kelly to bring about peace on earth.
Jason: This is just dumb.
Gordon: Well accidentally outing Clay (which was probably bad for someone who hasn't officially come out of the closet) was not the smartest idea in the world. Because Rosie wouldn't call Kelly homophobic unless, well, you know...
Jason: Yeah well..
Chico: Heh. Actually, it was Barbara Walters who said, and now I'm quoting.... "And Rosie and Kelly talked yesterday after the show. Rosie and Clay Aiken have talked. And all is well with the world, and all is well with them. So let's move on."
Gordon: And Barbara Walters' paychecks are sent to her by what company?
Jason: ABC.
Chico: Same as Rosie's... and Kelly's now that I think about it.
Gordon: And Live, who really needs to have a sympathetic Kelly Ripa, is owned by what network?
Chico: ABC.
Gordon: So do you guys really think the war of words is over?
Chico: The mouse has deep pockets. What can I say?
Gordon: Deep pockets can settle many a feud.
Chico: Money.... Money changes everything.
Jason: yes it does.
Gordon:  Next one?
Chico: Let's get Fully Loaded on stuffing.
Jason: urp
Chico: This week, skill games.
Gordon: Stuffed on Skill Games

King.com launched a skill-game version of "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire."

Jason: really....I have an account there.
Chico: Oh yeah. Totally. That joins existing skill games based on Big Brother and Deal or No Deal. Pretty neat expansion... one of the world's most popular quiz shows of all time on a new platform.
Jason: I don't see it on there.
Chico: Might be the UK version of the site. And speaking of which, quick plug for the game show fan on your list: Toys R Us has Deal or No Deal, Family Feud, and Let's Make a Deal iDVDs in a 3-pack, while Play Your Cards Right drops in the UK as well.
Gordon: With the rights to Millionaire recently being sold for an obscene amount of money, you figured that this was going to happen. Fortunately, the ratings have gone up on the US version of the show, and at an average of a 3.4 rating,...it's a near lock for the show to be renewed here, which can only mean good things for everyone involved.
Chico: Lots of neato-keen stuff there. One word... PROFIT.
Jason: Lots of Profit.
Chico: ... It's Media Ho time!
Gordon: You know, Media hoes like to play trivia, too
Chico: *plays turkeys singing "Area Codes"*
Gordon: Did you know that Kevin Federline will be in 1. Vs. 100?
Jason: That's one turkey.
Chico: That's one BIG turkey.
Gordon: My turkey spies also tell me that gracing the set soon will also be one Ultimate Jeopardy Tournament of Champions Winner. Bob Saget...meet Brad Rutter.
Chico: The Rutternator.
Jason: Rutterization
Gordon: Can he do better than Jennings? We'll have to see...
Chico: It'll actually be harder for Rutter to do that, given the scaling back of the money (a wise decision, give the 1 incentive to keep playing for as long as possible). Any more leftover hoes?
Gordon: Surely. In the hodometer,

Lukas Rossi loves touring with Supernova, Penn Jilette is confirmed as the host of Identity, Tess Daly and Vernon Kay take over Ant and Dec's role for the second season of Game Show Marathon in the UK, Shanna Moakler creates the funniest divorce cake I have ever seen. Check it out here - http://sawagoodidea.typepad.com/

Jason: That's a great cake!
Chico: Wow.

Twiggy complains about models being too skinny, and by the way, Romber's appearance on Amazing Race All-Stars sets the record for most Reality Game Show appearances by Rob Mariano, breaking Trista Sutter's record of 6...

Gordon: Trista was on Bachelor 1, Bachelorette 1, Battle of the Network Reality Stars (as a commentator), Fear Factor (commentator) and Dancing With the Stars 1 (not to mention she had a wedding). That's 6.
Chico: *counts on fingers*... Survivor, Survivor All-Stars, Poker Dome, Amazing Race, AR All-Stars... nope, Trista still wins. WAIT! Forgot the Player! That's... six as well. Let's call this one a draw.
Gordon: PLUS 1 Wedding Special and a FOX Reality Series with him and Amber. Rob Mariano is now the biggest Media Ho of all time.
Chico: To which I say... DAMN, SON!
Jason: HOOOOOO!
Gordon: BUT...he's not the ho of the week.
Chico: *drumroll*
Gordon: And I'll give this to you, multiple choice style.
Jason: cool! A game!
Gordon: Johan Riley Fyodor Taiwo Samuel's mother is who? A. The person who hosts America's Next Top Model. B. The person who hosts Project Runway. C. The person who hosts Top Chef.
Chico: I'm going to lock in B, Gordon!
Jason: B
Gordon: As Ken Jennings would say, if you don't know, always select B... and you'd be right! Johan is Heidi Klum's third child and second with Seal. We love Baby Hoes here. Congratulations, Heidi and Seal!
Chico: Woo!
Jason: Congrats!
Gordon: And those...are your hoes.
Chico: One Briton and one German. Time for a World Tour on that note. This week's destination... India.
Gordon: oooh.

What happens when you take sex out of Big Brother? Apparently if you're on the Indian version, not much.

Jason: Not much indeed.
Chico: Bigg Boss, which will give away a whopping $11,000 for staying in the house 100 days, ranked 22 amongst all primetime shows in that country. Reportedly, the show contains "much less sex and scandal than its international brethren."
Jason: LOL
Gordon: That may be true, but if you lessen the spark, you lessen the explosion as well.
Chico: Hence, the low rating.
Gordon: But what does it say about a show if you take the sex out and the ratings go down? That leads to me that the game aspect isn't there and you're watching more for that then actual gameplay. This is why Survivor gets the ratings and Big Brother doesn't.
Jason: Exactly.
Chico: I didn't think Big Brother had much of a game to begin with. Shapiro and Grodner had to basically rip off Survivor in order to keep the series afloat. Sad, but true. Okay, shutting it down. *unplugs* Next up, what should happen, and what will happen. But first... The Dr. is in. This is WLTI.... with extra chutzpah sauce.
Jason: Uh oh.

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