November 27, 2006

Jason: LOL
Chico: But seriously, we have nothing against Goths or pale people.
Gordon: Or even dead people. Now we come to a very moving moment in the show.
Chico: How very moving?
Gordon: Mr. Block...I give you...the papaya cap.
Jason: I put it on with pride.
Gordon: It's time for Ask...Dr.. Block!
Jason: Alright!
Chico: Our adoring public have questions. Hopefully, you have the answer. Ready to do it?
Jason: I will do it with the best of my ability. (Taps chest)
Chico: We should probably note that Ben Stein turned 62 yesterday. Happy birthday.
Jason: Glad you got the reference. Very good mind that Stein.
Gordon: Ok. I believe you have the first letter, Mr. Alexander.
Chico: First up..."Dear Dr. Block. I love your candy bar..." Okay.

Jason: Dear Big Dealer - it just seems to me that the people who need your help don't really prepare to be on the show. There are certain ways to get your money and your "help". A lot of people are willing to sell their case too soon when they have a lot of money in their case. A sad disease known as "Premature Deal Syndrome"...or PDS., PDS symptoms include lack of courage, blind vision, and bad gameplay.
Chico: Sounds like a big problem, J. What can we do to avoid it... in so many words?
Jason: Watch the show, know your amounts and play the game better. If you have big amounts on the board...you have to stay in the game. Then PDS will be wiped out and we will have a $1,000,000 winner...without a sweeps week. Do your part.
Chico: Sounds like a good prescription. Next?
Gordon: I have a letter.

Jason: Well, Wild. You are the new kid on the block. Even Pat doesn't understand you fully just yet. As you are explained and seen, more people will get you and understand you. Give it time. I think people, when they notice you more, will use you better and gain lots more money and more bonus prizes. I think you will do well.
Gordon: I think part of the issue is that people are hitting it when they don't know the puzzle, and are just calling of letter when they hit a big space, instead of having the foresight to save it.
Jason: And they hit Bankrupt before they get a chance to use it. So it's a tough call. But it will be used well, eventually. It's been only on the air a month.
Gordon: I think it should be like a Free Spin, where a Bankrupt doesn't wipe it out.
Jason: Let's see if Harry adjusts it. Any more patients who need my help?
Chico: Yep.
Jason: Bring it on.
Gordon: next one?

Jason: Unfortunately, Candice. I don't think so. You have a guy who has the immunity idol (it's Yul by the way). And you have a lot of people who don't like you. I don't see good things for you. You had to know it was coming, didn't you?
Chico: Is it wrong to say I don't like her either?
Jason: Nope.
Chico: K. Just checking.
Gordon: She had a great game going. I think she just made too many moves.
Jason: BTW, another doctor's opinion here. How dumb is Yul for telling people he has the immunity idol?
Chico: Too much info too soon on Yul's part. I would've hooked his alliance in on faith, then when the time is right, spring the news.
Gordon: Or use the idea to knock someone else out.
Jason: This is not the right way to play the immunity idol.
Gordon: Now, people can take the information and use it against his tribemates or alliance on a backstab.
Chico: Oh yeah. Again, too much info too soon.
Jason: That was a two for one for the Cook Islands people.
Gordon: Let's see who can use the info to their advantage.
Jason: Any more lost souls?
Gordon: I have another one.
Jason: Good.

Chico: Well, it hurts that you're working with Shatner for one. Heh.
Jason: Well, Killer...I have good news and bad news. The good news you ARE the most exciting thing on your show. The bad news--you ARE the most exciting thing on your show. You won't be suffering those boos for long. I mean you have to work with Shatner for crying out tears...however, you are fondled by one of the Million Dollar Dancers. So it isn't all bad.
Chico: Nah, not really. Okay, I've got it.
Jason: Not much more to say.
Gordon: Next Letter...

Jason: Well, Jack. It's part of another programming disease called copycatitis. Every network saw ESPN's ratings go through the roof with their coverage of the WSOP and their PPV coverage. For every High Stakes Poker, there is Hip Hop Hold 'Em. So until the ratings go down, you will be bent, shuffled, dealt and played with--with reckless abandon. No rest for you, Jack.
Chico: That sounds PAINFUL!
Jason: It is.
Gordon: It sounds like he's being Jacked around
Jason: Pretty much. Sad for the cards.
Chico: The only thing he isn't being is jackknifed.
Gordon: As least he's got some Jack
Chico: Okay, final letter?
Gordon: Last one...

Jason: (shreds letter and hands back the hat). That's it I am out of here. :-)
Gordon: Hey now. We all have to deal with that, You now do, too.
Jason: Ok. Ok. Well, in dealing it in a realistic way.... If you really like the shows you talked about...write the network and see if they will bring it back. And I like potatoes too.  Better?
Chico: I also like potatoes.
Gordon: Potatoes are good.
Jason: Baked. Not fried. Can I hand in my license?
Gordon: You may
Jason: Here's the hat. And yes, we like all letters at wlti@gameshownewsnet.com
Chico: Okay, break time! Next up, what should happen in the world of game shows.... versus what WILL happen. Eat potatoes.

(Brought to you by the Celebrity Abandonment Project. We get teams like Amber and OJ Simpson and Chip and Anna Nicole Smith. The catch is that the Amazing Race regulars win if they can abandon their celebrity partners so we never have to see them on our TV sets. Ever.

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