September 25, 2006

Gordon: This is Gordon Pepper, and I don't know about you, but watching cars being given away never gets old.
Chico: Nor does oodles of cash. People telling others that they're going to stick a fork in them when they're done.... well, that's another ball of wax.
Gordon: Mmmm...fresh crispy reality show contestant. Yummy.
Chico: Another thing that never gets old... From somewhere in America, WLTI is... ON!
Gordon: That NEVER gets old, and neither does hanging out with my cohort in crime, Mr. Chico Alexander.
Chico: Alongside the Pepper, I AM Chico Alexander, how you doin'? It is premiere week all over the... err... US right now. It's also the first weekend of fall, so you know what that means.... Leafers.
Gordon: Right now it is, and we started off with a bang this past Monday, as The Price is Right gave out oodles of cash.
Chico: Not to mention a car or two...
Gordon: Oodles of cars, and Oodles of showcases, to the tune of almost $300,000.
Chico: Did we mention that there was a bit of a record broken?
Gordon: Just a bit.
Chico: A name to remember for game show trivia buff... Vickyann Chrobak-Sadowski. Of course, that sort of name you can't help but remember.
Gordon: May I have an early big Board?
Chico: Okay, Big Board time.

Gordon: Subject: TPIR Giveaway Inventory. Roger Dobkowitz may have trouble remembering what exactly he gave away on the big show, so we're here to help.
Chico: Always.
Gordon: Special thanks to Travis 'TPIR Gopher' Schario for helping us with said inventory.
Chico: Big total for you here.. $296,668. The lion's share of it going home with... Vickyann Chrobak-Sadowski
Gordon: She walks off with almost half of it - $147,517, including both Showcases in the Showcase Showdown. Shall we do some inventory, Chico?
Chico: Let's do it. She wins, now get this... a trip to New York City, a set of cameras, a Saturn Sky roadster, a home theatre system, a Robotron/Joust upright, a Dodge Viper, and a Dodge Caravan. That's three cars, a trip, and other cool swag. Maria Meza also picks up a Chevy Corvette... Kimala Ferran takes home a check for $11,600. We also have a PT Cruiser, Malibu, and Jeep Wrangler, won by Carolyn Carrier there. And a ski boat worth almost $19,000. There's your big clunky thing right here. All in all, not a bad day if you're not a part of CBS's accounting department.
Gordon: And the Items up for bids weren't too shabby either - Cancun, Recumbent Bike, Floor Clock, Hot Tub, Platform Bed and a Drum Set. Over $15,000 worth of stuff given out just on the opening bids.
Chico: When do you see that outside of primetime shows, eh?
Gordon: You don't. It's an amazing day on TPIR. 7 cars given out, almost $300,000 in goodies, and a week's worth of Gem Cars, trailers and boats to follow just to get under the budget.
Chico: But of course, the luckiest man in the room... Travis. In a coup, perpetual slacker lands dream internship... with three leggy coworkers =p
Gordon: Dodge Caravan...$20,194. Hanging out every day with Barker's Beauties...Priceless. I believe, by the way, that there was some ex-Barker's Beauty sightings on this week's premiere on Deal Or no Deal?
Chico: Three. And one Mike Klauss.
Gordon: And a Jason Hernandez too Which three beauties?
Chico: Claudia, Lanisha, and Lisa. The usual three...
Gordon: Though I'd much rather see Claudia and Lanisha modeling the suitcases than Mike and Jason. No offense, Mike and Jason.
Chico: This week was also the Deal or No Deal season premiere, and if you remember previous WLTIs, you know that Gordon and I couldn't make it on account of a mattress on the LA Freeway.
Gordon: It was a nice mattress, though. (and yes, Travis, you still owe us dinner for carting your mattress around Los Angeles)
Chico: I thought he bought sushi that night.
Gordon: Noooo. We had to cover it. At least I covered my share...Ok then...Travis, you still owe ME dinner.
Chico: Heh. Anyways, tell America what happened on that fateful night at Deal or No Deal..
Gordon: The good news - almost everyone walked out of there with 6 digits. The bad news - almost all of them stopped too quickly and three of them could have walked out of there with 7 digits - including a 3 million dollar payout.  Remember kids, if there are two big amounts on the board, you KEEP PLAYING THE GAME, DUMMIES!
Chico: If only Matty held out a bit longer. But hey, when you have $700,000 and change, you're not complaining.
Gordon: I am. It was terrible game playing on Matty's part. He got caught with the dollar signs in his eyes instead of playing the board.
Chico: So you're saying that if you had $700K, you'd still risk it. I mean, you ever been in that sort of situation? It's literally a pressure cooker waiting to boil over. And the $3 million in his case, that's a known unknown. Sure you can play the board, but it can only go so far. Sometimes you just have to take the money and run.
Gordon: If I had 700K with 2 big amounts on the board, yes I still risk it. I'm still walking out of there with a 6 digit payout. Here's the board: 1, 250, 250,000, 1,000,000, 3,000,000. I still have a 60% shot at 6 digits, AND I can't hurt myself, because even if I knock off the 3 million, I am guaranteed to get a $500,000+ offer because the million is still in play, and if I get rid
of 1, 250 or 250,000, I get a million dollar plus offer from the bank.
Chico: So the question remains... do you get greedy knowing about that calculated risk?
Gordon: Of course you get greedy. You can't lose in that situation. Plus there's a 40% chance that I have one of the 2 big cases. You have to think in the 'I came in with nothing, go for it' attitude...like Michele did. Thanks to her husband, Michele played the game as it should be played - keep going until you lose your cover. She never did and played her way to $750,000. It's not a million, but hey, she played it perfectly. She lost 130,000 on the offer, but big deal. Better to lose 130,000 and still win 750,000 then blow 2.3 million on a board that's a perfect player's board.
Chico: That was textbook, there. That's what you call "fundamentals". She lost both the $3 and the $6 million early, but she was able to make it up rather quickly, I thought.
Gordon: Lose the 3 and 6 million, but had the guts to get out of there with 750,000. Great game playing.
Chico: You have a dealer's board, you play it, even when the big money's gone.
Gordon: On a side note, I think that people should be penalized for dealing out too early. The problem with the big money week is that it augmented the prize values, leaving inflated buyouts.
Chico: Gordon, you think people should be penalized for giving a wrong answer twice. The point of the deal is that it's guaranteed money.
Gordon: It's guaranteed money, but you don't really get penalized for it.
Chico: You take away from guaranteed money, that's a) gimmicky, and b) unfair to the player who thought that they were getting guaranteed money.
Gordon: But it would make the game play much more interesting and it would give people an incentive to continue playing. You have the million, 50,000, 250,000 and 1 million. The offer is 240,000. Should you take the deal and be wrong, then it drops to 24,000. That would be a VERY interesting scenario to see if the person would continue, just to build up the buyout and risking the million in the process. Normally, with 2 safe amounts, it becomes boring TV because everyone knows the person stops when they only have one big amount left.
Chico: More interesting to watch, but again, you really can't judge a person until you walk a mile in their shoes. If they want to walk with that amount, then that's their business. If they want to press on, that's also their business... Everyone plays the game differently, and to say that there should be a uniformity just sucks any last bit of drama or spontaneity out of the whole
game. I'm not watching this just so I can pick it apart like Truman McFreaking Capote here. I just want to be entertained.
Gordon: Actually, I think everyone plays the game the same now. I think you'll have a wider variety of play if you add that wrinkle in. I want to be entertained, and with no risk there, I'm starting to get bored. Oh. 1 big amount left. Time to bail out.
Chico: I don't think so. The old saying goes, "Without risk, there is no reward." Just as there are people who are afraid to take the risk, there're people afraid to push the button and walk away.
Gordon: I haven't seen any of those people this week. And the contestant's family is there to make sure they don't crash and burn. Sometimes, the people who crash and burn are far more interesting than the people who win. It makes much better entertainment.
Chico: Again, that's their business. You don't know what's going to happen until it happens. You just like to see people crash out. Admit it. =p
Gordon: How much ink have we given to Thorpe Schoenle and Curtis Harris?
Chico: I remember one week's worth for Thorpe alone.
Gordon: How much ink have we given to Cheryl Jackson and Dan Avila? A lot more, eh?
Chico: So you're saying that everyone remembers the losers?
Gordon: I'm saying that I'm not the only one who likes to see people crash out. We like to see the extreme win or the extreme loss.
Chico: Anything else is not worth mentioning... Oh, you want to talk extreme? How many TiVos do you have in your house?
Gordon: Zero
Chico: Or how many VCRs?
Gordon: A few VCRs, which I needed to use on Thursday
Chico: How many did you end up using on Thursday?
Gordon: Let's see...7pm - Jeopardy Vs. Stump the Schwab (Yuck),  9pm - Celebrity Duets Vs. Deal Or No Deal Vs. Chain Reaction. 10 pm - Wild N Out Vs. Ultimate Fighter...
Chico: Basically, in order to catch anything worth watching, you would've had to have used all of your VCRs. Me, I have two TiVos, and from 7 to 11, they were all recording something.
Gordon: Pretty much. And don't forget Midnight - Playmania Vs. Midnight Money Madness
Chico: ... you record Midnight Money Madness?
Gordon: Well, no, but I will say this about the show. Even though I won't pay to see it, at least it has become entertaining with all of their special guests.
Chico: So, are you more of a Schmeckel or a Craig Jackson kind of guy then?
Gordon: Actually, I'm more of a tall legged blonde type. Brigitte Nielsen was hysterically funny on Thursday, with her gargling water and her hosting a 'Name a famous Bitch' segment.
Chico: Shannen Doherty! Sorry, couldn't help it.
Gordon: Well, she was talking about dogs, but nice to see where your mind is.
Chico: We also would've accepted "I refuse to answer on the grounds that you'll make fun of me later for it." But something else happened on Thursday that you may have passed up. How many times can you say Jeopardy! had co-champions?
Gordon: $30,000+ co-champions? Can't say I've seen that a lot.
Chico: And of those, only one, Sara Terrell, who was champ for the greater part of the week, went on to win $70,000 and change for four games. Not too bad, eh? Something tells me we're going to see her again.
Gordon: I think there may be some little thing called the Tournament of Champions that may be calling out her name.
Chico: I think so. Congrats, Sara. We'll see you back in May. You know, rest of the season notwithstanding. From kudos we go to the week in irony.
Gordon: Isn't it ironic...don't you think...like putting models against people who want to lose weight?
Chico: That's like putting a Hertz car at an Avis booth.
Gordon: Pretty much. The Biggest Loser and America's Next Top Model went up against each other on Wednesday night. The Numbers guy will tell us who came out on top
Chico: Already working on it. But I just think it's kind of funny. On one end of the spectrum, we have people who are too flabby for their own good. On the other, people who are too skinny for their own good. Meanwhile, what do people in the middle have to watch to make us feel better? ... Dancing with the Stars... =p Which owned Biggest Loser to the tune of 7 million viewers.
Gordon: The question becomes, does America want to see people become skinny, or does America want to see people who are already skinny?
Chico: The answer... America wants to see who they voted off on the dance floor. Big Board sequel time!

Chico: Title: The Battle for Wednesday.
Gordon: I've got my little plastic men armed and ready to traverse the game board.
Chico: Biggest Loser: 7.17 million viewers for third place, down from last year's premiere of "The Apprentice: Martha Stewart" and from the last season of "The Biggest Loser". Top Model: 5.32 million viewers for fifth, but up from the previous season of Top Model shows. And lest we say, a record showing. Pretty good start for the "Way Too Green" Network. But both are SHAMED by the elimination episode of Dancing with the Stars: 14.89 million viewers. So we have proof positive here... Unless your name is American Idol, if you go up against Dancing with the Stars... you're going to get your ass handed to you on a platter. Len is going to say how uncoordinated it is, and Bruno's going to make some off-cuff metaphor about it. Roll your little dice and tell us what this bodes for all three, Gordon.
Gordon: It actually seemed like 2 of the three were winners. ANTM has their best opening ratings ever, so that's going to bode huge for them. You knew DWTS was going to be a juggernaut, so there's no surprise on that front. As for TBL, NBC had to know that whatever they put in their was going to be crushed, so a reality show that's been there would probably get those sorts of numbers. I can't expect they would be surprised by that.
Chico: Not saying that one showing makes a hit or miss, but remember what happened to Fear Factor.
Gordon: Fear Factor never showed up on Wednesday - only Tuesday against weaker competition and the ratings were less than The Biggest Loser.
Chico: I'm just saying is all.
Gordon: I think TBL lasts the season, but this may have been the last season for the show, regardless of where you put it. Where can you go after 'The 50 States Weight Loss challenge'?
Chico: ... home visitation. But let's not go into that.
Gordon: If they go there, then you may as well give it the Fear Factor send-off. Speaking of models, did you know that we had another Barker's Beauty sighting...AND a Lingo spokeswoman sighting?
Chico: WHERE. And stop the damn teasing. =p
Gordon: They were on CBS on Saturday, as Nikki Ziering (The Price is Right) and Shandi Finnessey (Lingo) are the spokesbabes for the Ultimate Blackjack Tour.
Chico: See. I wouldn't know that. And I'll tell you why. Because we had college football on instead.
Gordon: You don't get CBS?
Chico: We get CBS. But WRAL (our local affil) preempted UBT for college football.
Gordon: Maybe they placed it on late night after the game.
Chico: Nope.  I checked my onscreen TV Guide. It's not there. This is exactly what I was talking about when I said that UBT wasn't going to have much to stand on in some markets.
Gordon: Well, in case you missed it, Antonio Esfandiari made it to the final table - and was the first person eliminated. The winner of the week was David Matthews, who's been on the pro circuit for a few years.
Chico: Ah. Well.. what more can I say except good for him. And good for Shandi, too, as GSN is giving her more Play(Mania) time... that and more as we DO THE NEWS!
Gordon: Roll that beautiful B-r-a-i-n Footage

(Doug: Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper... and Chico Alexander)

Chico: Going into our first article...

GSN has reupped their contract with Optimistic Entertainment for more Playmania, reportedly extending the show to six nights a week (Mondays are dark).

Chico: That's more money in GSN's pocket right there.
Gordon: Is it because they want more money, they see a threat in Midnight Money Madness, or both?
Chico: I'm going to say both, a) because it's a money maker and b) it's one of their larger drawing shows, and c) notice how Mel always stresses how they're "the original"?
Gordon: Well, it's also a plus for us, the internet geeks. All you have to do is open up 2 browsers, go to their respective sites, and then voila, 20 chances to win money for free! Whoopie!
Chico: You are so much a Seckel =p
Gordon: Would you spend $20 a night on these shows?
Chico: No thanks. I've got the interwebs. I play for frees :-)
Gordon: Then you're as much a Seckel as I am. I'm just telling our peeps how to do it.
Chico: I'm just referring to your delivery.
Gordon: I'm delivering the 411 to our homies.
Chico: Content ain't got nothing to do with it. :-) Next?
Gordon: Next one...

Celebrity Duets may not be that cash cow FOX was aiming for. The 2 hour finale show is getting cut to 1 hour. In it's place? A Pilot of...Justice, one show that is about to be bounced off the air as one of the first casualties of the Fall Season. Hamburger, anyone?

Chico: McHiatus!
Gordon: Mooooo
Chico: Or as the Game Show Man would say, "Turkey Day has come early." BTW, if you haven't caught Sparring Partners, you ought to :-) That's called "cross-promotion".
Gordon: Is that the episode with you and I on it?
Chico: Yep.
Gordon: Goodie =). Next article?

The strike continues as the Writer's Guild of America is marching to the CW's HQ in support of SE's and PA's for ANTM.

Chico: The WGA has been in full support since the SEs and the PAs went AWOL during production of S7. Sounds like code, but if you think about it, it makes sense. (See SOP: Reality Will Eat Itself)
Gordon: Good for them. It does make sense, the Production Assistants and company should be getting paid what they are worth. The questions is - is what they are worth going to be too much for the budget. How ironic would it be if ANTM...
Chico: ... was forced off the air due to this incident? Can't happen. I'm sure the show is making coin enough to see the staff that walked out as redundant. After all, you're talking the CW's top draw right now. Give it a couple of episodes, and we might see them fight out Fox for the #4 spot. Yes, the CW, where coming in fourth is a TRIUMPH!
Gordon: ...
Chico: ... too soon?
Gordon: well, how ironic would it be if ANTM had a serious case of the Guild trying to get too fat?
Chico: the guild trying to get too fat?
Gordon: You're right on one thing - they didn't mention the names of the writers, which means that the PA's and people that did walk out are probably replaceable. That could have been a grave error by them and the guild. Time will tell.
Chico: True. True. Now if you will please pass out on the Haterade.
Gordon: OK....(sip, sip, sip...thud) (I passed out on the Haterade, baby)

This week's Haterade clearly goes to William Smoak Fairey, a 49 year old man from Florida who is imprisoned for fraud. What for? For telling investors that he..get this...owned an internet site that covered game shows.

Chico: For the record, I'm only in cahoots with that guy over there.
Gordon: That be me
Chico: And Gordon's only in cahoots with me. And if anyone tell you any different, they're telling you dead wrong.
Gordon: Of course, if you want to be in cahoots with us, take out all of that green paper in your wallet and send it to We Love To Interr...
Chico: *whap*
Gordon: Ow! Why did you have to hit me with that heavy thing?
Chico: Shush. Now I've been doing some research on my magic interbox here. The (apparently MANY) adventures of Doak Fairey, a former quiz show contestant who among other things, a) cheated our good friend Leszek Pawlowicz out of an investment, b) claimed that a computer glitch cost him a chance to be on Millionaire, and ... well, the rest just gets to character assassination. Point is, it would not surprise me one bit if I were to find out that, given the fact that they're both 49-year-old game show buffs from Florida, that either they have some preexisting relationship, or, more likely, they're the same person.
Gordon: Maybe they are the next twins to be secretly put in the Big Brother house.
Chico: Listen... it gets better.
Gordon: Do tell.
Chico: From the Beaufort Gazette... Fairey falsely told the investors he had a company that owned TVGameShows.net and was in negotiations to sell the company to Sony. Fairey learned about the site while a contestant on the game show "Jeopardy!," prosecutors said. So a) it's the same person and b) Steve Beverly is obviously in a prime position here, having had his
intellectual property used by representatives not of his wishing.
Gordon: So Mr. Beverly, who we also happen to know, can make a lot of good money off of Mr. Fairey.
Chico: and we've met the guy. He's not a bad guy. He's also not the kind to just take (^_^) lying down.
Gordon: Not at all. But wouldn't it have hurt to use us instead? We could use the coin here, you know.
Chico: Gordon, don't give anyone any ideas.
Gordon: But then if we were rich, we could be Fully Loaded.
Chico: *hic*. I had to. Block's not in this week.
Gordon: What do we got this week?
Chico: *plays "Because I Got High"* Today... MORE HOME GAMES!
Gordon: Wheee!

Deal or No Deal is invading Toys "R" Us to promote its upcoming PC game, while Jeopardy! and Wheel head to iDVD, and Family Feud heads to PS2 and GBA. The Deal and Feud games come courtesy of Global Star Software (sister company of Rockstar Games), and the J! and Wheel iDVDs come from ImaginationDVD.

Chico: Who you may remember from the previous edition of Feud on DVD and Deal on DVD.
Gordon: And before you guys go out and spend your money, we'll be getting and reviewing these games. When do these games come out?
Chico: Deal and Feud come out before the holidays. Jeopardy! next year, Wheel year after that.
Gordon: Expect a review of Deal and Feud from us before the holidays.
Chico: So if you have a DVD or a PC, you've got games. Even better if you have a DS or GBA. You've got Feud on the bus.. or a plane... or a media ho's bedroom...  *plays "Area Codes"*
Gordon: You gonna play Deal Or No Deal in a Media Ho's Bedroom?
Chico: Dependent on the Media Ho, why not?
Gordon: In this week's Hodometer...

It's Deal for Roger Dobkowitz, who gives advice on how to get on a game show and a MAJOR Deal for Matt Hoover and Suzy Preston, who finally tie the knot. It's a semi-deal for Clay Aiken, who has a new CD coming out, but although he talks about takingn Paxil, he still refuses to tackle the questions on his sexual preference. It's a Deal on Rock Star's House Band, who gets to play for Paul Stanley. It's a deal for Rock Star Supernova, who's name is now 'Rock Star Supernova', instead of Supernova. It's NO DEAL for INXS, as they get dropped by their U.S. record label.

Chico: I actually listened to Clay Aiken's CD. The only track worth listening to is the one that is actually on AC radio right now... his cover of "Without You".
Gordon: So he's turning Elton John cover songs on us?
Chico: Eric Carmen. I think.
Gordon: Ick.
Chico: So you got a pimp cup?
Gordon: The Ho of the Week is UK Millionaire's Chris Tarrant, who thanks to datingdirect.com, is offering...himself. You want to date a 6'2" Libra who's blond and into fishing and trivia?
Chico: Back on the market? Only been owned once? We're comparing Tarrant to a car. How wrong is that?
Gordon: He's doing this for Dream Dates, and the proceeds go to DeBRA, which is a charity organization for a genetic skin condition called EB.  So he is doing this for a great cause - and that's why he is the ho of the week.
Chico: And from what I hear, a tour of the Millionaire set is included.
Gordon: Backstage tour of the Millionaire set...and then of Tarrant's house. Oooh la laaaaa.
Chico: And those... are your hoes... And that's Brainvision. Shut it down.

(booooo-oop)

Chico: Okay, we've got a break. Later, we go looking for parental guidance, but first, honest and for true, or just plain bull(^_^)? Accuracy or Idiocy is next. This is We Love to Interrupt, the show with Yankee attitude... and a Red Sox booty.

(Brought to you by George Gray's Anatomy... View George Gray's transition from Extreme Gong to I'll Do Anything... all set to the music of The Fray)

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