October 2, 2006

Gordon: This is Gordon Pepper, and...have we ever told you how much we love mail from our listeners?
Jason:  Of course.
Chico:  Only every day.
Gordon: We love your mail so much, that we are going to do something different this week. We are actually going to pattern the first part of our show based on a letter which we received.
Jason:  That's nice.
Chico:  And it's from a good friend of ours to boot...But first... from somewhere in America... The "Eddie Timanus is Completely Right" edition of WLTI... is... on!
Jason:  Eddie Timanus? Wow.
Gordon: Yay!
Chico:  Alongside Gordon and Jason... aka 2 Live Jews :), I'm 1 Sort-of-Dead Buddhist :)
Gordon: Eddie Timanus. Someone who's been on both Jeopardy and Who Wants to be a Millionaire...and actually our guest Mr. Jason Block has done that too, hasn't he?
Chico:  Hooray Jason.
Jason:  Yes I have. Although I think I went from WWTBAM to J! Eddie did it the other way around.
Chico:  But at least you've both been on THIS show.
Jason:  oh yeah.
Chico:  Anyways, we've got a lot to cover and not a lot of time, so first...

Gordon: By all means, let's discuss GSNN's favorite TV show
Chico:  Yes. And, let's start with the elimination. Me, I'm thinking dirty trick.
Jason:  Nasty.
Chico:  Somewhere along the lines of "This is not a pit stop. You're still racing."
Gordon: Even though it is a Pit Stop.
Chico:  Got a pit stop mat and everything. the only thing missing was a local.
Gordon: Actually, I think it's fair game, to be honest. Nowhere did it say that you wouldn't be eliminated.
Jason:  I didn't say it was a BAD idea, it was just nasty.
Chico:  Well, that's true, but when you go into the Amazing Race, you have an expectation. And I agree with Jason. I didn't say it was illegal, just dirty.
Jason:  and TAR flipped the script.
Gordon: How many times during the series did we see teams not go full throttle in certain challenges because they knew they would have a chance to make up ground? Not this season.
Chico:  Especially not after that first elimination. This is a RACE now.
Jason:  The game upped the ante.
Chico:  Not just sightseeing for fun and profit.
Gordon: I like the twist. You need to go full throttle all the time. There have been surprise eliminations in every show, such as The Bachelor or America's Next Top Model, so why not Amazing Race?
Chico:  Can you believe the Race can actually get BETTER from this? I sure as heck can.
Gordon: It also wouldn't surprise me if an eliminated team will get a second chance.
Jason:  That I am not so sure of.
Chico:  I think that's an idea for the 11th Race - which was just given the go ahead. Yay!
Gordon: Congratulations for a new season of Race, which is more than holding it's own on Sundays.
Jason:  Never thought that would happen. I was wrong.
Chico:  I think this is a keeper.
Gordon: Back to Eddie's letter...

Chico:  I didn't think it was THAT bad.
Jason:  Nah. TAR is not that indiscriminate. If you saw EW last week, there was a huge article on how the "survivor" cast gets prepped for life on the island and beyond. I don't think TAR would just say one thing and do another.
Gordon: I will say this, I think the Race played the elimination fairly. On a side note, have you noticed that the teams the Race selected for 'Diversity' have been falling by the wayside?
Chico:  Are you calling shenanigans, Gordon?
Gordon: Not shenanigans. Just the usual ramblings of 'If you are going to get people, please get teams who can PLAY THE FRIGGING GAME instead of casting people just to fill a certain stereotype.
Chico:  TAR's been casting stereotypes for years. It's just that most of the stereotypes nowadays are one and the same.
Gordon: And they've never done it for diversity's sake until this year
Chico:  I mean, you look at the first Race. How many "actor/models" did we see? Not that darn many. Now you have like HALF of the teams as "actor/models". I think one of the players of "Who Wants to Be a Superhero" was actually ELIMINATED because of that stereotype. And I thought then it was frigging genius.
Gordon: At least the models were not eliminated early. First team out the door - the Mid-Eastern brothers. Second team out the door - the Indian couple. Third team out the door - the cheerleading babes.
Jason:  Well, TAR was one of the first shows to have a gay couple win the whole thing.
Chico:  So wait until the second show to get rid of one of the pretty folk, just to keep it on an even keel. I like it =p. Means that no one's safe. Doubly so for the people who can't really play that well. You know, Heather and Eve notwithstanding. I know you're still shaking your head over that one.
Gordon: I am. May I have a Big Board, please?
Chico:  Got it.

Gordon: The subject: The Right (Amazing) Race Here's what you need to be in order to have a leg up in the competition.
Chico: For example?
Gordon: 1. Be Male. There has yet to be a double female team to win the competition. As a matter of fact, of the 8 other races (excluding the Family Edition) 5 of the 8 teams were all male.
Chico:  Yeah. Let's just forget the Family Edition happened while we're at it.
Gordon: Please do. 13 of the 16 winnners? Male.
Chico: Yep.
Gordon: 2. Be a Model. Not only does TAR have a history of selecting models, they have a history of doing very, very well, usually winding up in the Top 4, or like Chip/Reichen, and Freddy/Kendra, winning it all.
Jason:  Why do you think being a Model helps...people will help pretty people?
Gordon: Pretty much.
Chico:  2a) That failing, get married. See Chip/Kim, Uchenna/Joyce, Frank/Margarita...
Jason:  ...and Rob/Amber...
Gordon: ...And Chip/Reichen, which leads us too...3. Gay is ok. There hasn't been an all-gay group that has finished outside the Top 4. Gay people, if you listen to Will Wikle, love to travel and are very knowledgeable about other cultures, which gives them an edge in this sort of competition.
Jason:  TAR has been a very pro-gay show.
Chico:  See Oswald/Danny
Gordon: And Team Guido from AR 1. However...4. Don't be related. Only Paige/Blake in AR 2 and the Oh Brother Team in AR 3 has placed in the Top 3. No one else has come close.
Chico:  Yep.
Gordon: 5. Don't be a new dating team trying to find their way. Not only will you not do very well, but the relationship (such as what happened to Lenny/Karen and Michael/Kathy) will probably go down the toilet.
Chico:  Adding the Alison/Donny corollary to that one :)
Gordon: Yes, please
Jason:  If you are dating, this is not the stress you want to put on a relationship.
Gordon: Pretty much
Jason:  "YOU MADE ME LOSE A MILLION DOLLARS! IT'S OVER!"
Chico:  Yeah, that's about right.
Gordon: 6. Finally, if you're not white or African American, you have no shot. Give up. Go home. Because 1. You leave in the first 5, and 2. The TAR casting department doesn't cast enough of you for us to really make a correlation - and when they do, they pick the ones who have left the brains in the suitcase before take-off.
Jason:  We call it like we see it.
Gordon: When have they cast a Latino team besides Oswald and Danny? And this is the first year that we have Asians, Indians and Mid-Easterners...10 seasons into it? For shame.
Chico:  True. But back to the letter.

Gordon: A fair point, Eddie. We'll say our predictions on the Big FInish. We promise. But right now, who do you like to win the Race?
Chico:  I like the Asian Team of Erwin & Godwin.
Jason:  I will go with Tom and Terry--the gay couple. I think Gordon is right.
Gordon: Twins have always placed in the Top Half - buit never the Top 3. I also don't think that Tom and Terry are as strong as other gay teams in the past. I'll go with another stereotype -the models. Tyler and James.
Chico:  And moving on to the final part of Eddie's letter...which, by the way, is segue-worthy :)
Gordon: Yeah, yeah yeah....

Gordon: I mean, yes the show is about winning lots and lots of money, and yes, I think it's great to win lots and lots of money (and as we saw this week, it's needed as a number of contestants crash-landed), but it's also about playing the game correctly, and yes, even if they do win 6 figures, if you don't play the game correctly, I'm going to call you on it.
Jason:  Sorry Eddie....I drink the Gordon Haterade on this one. Those records were broken albeit for the fact the numbers were bigger, not because they played the game any differently.
Gordon: If they played the way with normal numbers, we would not have hit record payouts.
Jason:  Not at all.
Gordon: So with that being said, Jason...what did you think about this week's play?
Jason:  This week was the week that greed bit a lot of people in the tush.
Gordon: Do tell
Jason:  Getting my notes here...
Gordon: please do
Jason:  Well this week, we had yet another proposal and acceptance.
Gordon: Malaika accepted the ring. What did she accept, financially?
Jason:  $105,000. Unfortunately, she was the highlight of the week. Larry Miller had $50 in his case on Monday and accepted $21,000. Frankie Panico had $100,000 in his case when he took $50,000. Not exactly huge money amounts going around.
Chico:  But seriously, it's not too bad a week, but still, it's no premiere week. What do you guys think about Deals on Friday, in addition to Monday and Thursday?
Jason:  Kill Thursday and keep Friday. Thursday 9PM is a warzone.
Gordon: First on Friday. 4th on Thursday. Enough said.
Chico:  So NBC adds Friday. Which is also a win there. More later, but speaking of Friday. Next Friday... IT'S 1 VS. 100, YOU GUYS!
Jason:  About time!
Chico:  Yep, the challenger, the mob... the Saget? Is this the next big hit?
Jason:  Don't know.
Chico:  Could it be?
Jason:  Sure.
Jason:  Anything is possible.
Gordon: The good news - the debut date is October 13th and it gets cushion via a Deal Or No Deal lead in. The Bad news - It does not get a week's worth of shows, like DOND. Instead, it gets a slot in the wasteland known as Friday night. not a ringing endorsement.
Chico:  It's got Deal as a lead in, and given ample sampling, anything is possible. I just realized something, Gordon...it premieres on Friday the 13th. Spooky.
Gordon: Oooohhh...at least on a Friday, the expectations aren't that high, so it will have time to foster an audience - especially through the DOND crowd.
Chico:  Let's hope. It has five shows to prove itself.
Jason:  Saget could be good.
Chico:  He handled AFV well when he wasn't reaching for the quip, you know?
Gordon: I hope the editing isn't as choppy as the original set of DOND episodes.
Jason:  That could be a bad sign.
Chico:  I wish James Dinan was here. He could tell us, you know. He was there. He was one of the 100.
Jason:  So was Paul Bailey.
Gordon: James, Ken Jennings (which they had no problem promoting) Jeff Suchard, and others.
Chico:  I'm sure KJ had a hand in that. But that's another story for a few minutes from now. Right now though. I present to you...It's your favorite word, Gordon.. CONTROVERSY!
Gordon: Yay!
Jason:  Controversy? what could be that bad?
Chico:  Let's just say Gordon has some Haterade competition from one Len Goodman.
Gordon: I would even give the Haterade to Len Goodman...but someone goes beyond the call of duty to win it this week. But again, we digress.
Jason:  (starts playing "Controversy" by Prince)
Gordon: I loooove controversy
Jason:  whats the beef?
Chico:  What brings about this controversy? Well, lifting for one.
Jason:  Right. You cant lift on Dancing.
Chico:  Nope. And Len was all over that
Gordon: In the realm of 'things that aren't in a Tango', Mario Lopez not only lifts up his partner, but he gets thrown around in a pro-wrestling like arm drag maneuver which looked great, but it deemed illegal. The result?  A 2 point deduction across the board, so what would have been a 28 turns into a 22.
Jason:  Whoa. So why do you want to hate on Len?
Gordon: I don't actually. I think he's playing by the rules. I'd rather hate on Mario, for not only being illegal, but pandering to the audience to get votes that way instead of actually doing the dance right, which as we saw last week he can't always do.
Chico:  He's not the only one, though. Joey Lawrence. Another lifter! Woops.
Gordon: In the realm of people actually doing the dance instead of trying to get votes via a cheap pop, Monique really showed me something.
Chico:  Monique.... and Vivica...  I'm sensing possible finale matchup, with Mario thrown in for good measure.
Chico:  Oh yeah. That'd be hot.
Jason:  Scalding.
Gordon: Sorry. You will not see a Monique Vs. Vivica matchup.
Chico:  Chaos Theory clash, Gordon?
Gordon: Yep. Demographic, demographics, demographics. Two black women in the finals? Not going to happen.
Chico:  A man can dream, can't he?
Jason:  Yes you can.
Gordon: We can also dream of doing the news...so let's make the dream happen. Bring out the mice, the cat and ther cheese.
Chico:  Mice... cat... cheese.. Done.
Jason:  Animals in position.
Chico:  Now roll the... uh... thing.
Gordon: Roll that Beautiful Brain Footage
Chico:  Yeah, that thing.

(Doug: Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper... and Chico Alexander)

Gordon: First article...

Wrapping up reality news, Grady Brewer wins The Contender 2, Alfonso Ribiero wins Celebrity Duets and Megan Morris wins...the spot as the second Model eliminated.

Chico:  Whoopee. I completely didn't see that finale on Celebrity Duets. Literally.
Gordon: Apparently, based on the ratings, neither did anyone else
Chico:  Heh. Anyway, next story.

GSN is recruiting Dylan Lane to head up its campaign to "Win with Words", as he will host the final of their first National Vocabulary Championship.

Chico:  Seems logical, right? Guy hosts word game, guy gets nod on new word game. Certainly better casting than, say, Evan Marriott.
Jason:  Definitely.
Gordon: New word game getting better ratings than crappy celebrity trivia game, so why not?
Chico:  Sounds good to me. Next?
Gordon: Next, we have some Haterade...and it's Ugly Flavored this week
Chico:  Dude!
Jason:  How ugly?
Gordon: I'd like to say, before presenting this week, that we had a LOT of nominees this week. In the Jewish faith, this is a week of atonement, and there's going to be a LOT of atoning for these guys.
Jason:  Ok.
Gordon: Well, remember when we went after Keith David for cheating on Project
Runway?
Jason:  Yes.
Gordon: What about someone who cheated...on the Project Runway finals?
Chico:  Expand, please.

According to realitytvworld.com, there's a reason why Jefferey Sebelia's fashion collection looked like it was professionally done - because it WAS professionally done, as he outsourced his clothes.

Jason:  That is a HUGE NO NO.
Chico:  Dude. That's ugly.
Jason:  So what are they going to do?
Gordon: Fellow finalist Laura Bennett caught it and reported it to Tim Gunn, who apparently, based on the article, did find out some sort of wrong. Turn into the 2 part finale to see what happens to Jeffery and see who wins.
Chico:  See, I can't because I have no Bravo.
Gordon: Awww...Chico needs a hug.
Chico:  Bright side, I have GSN, which can't be said for a few Maryland college students. Sorry guys.
Gordon: Maybe they need to come out to the local bar and get Fully Loaded.
Chico:  Maybe. You know the next story is loaded... FULLY! Then Jason goes...
Jason:  HIC
Chico:  Like that, yeah!
Gordon: Wheeeeee
Chico:  (*plays "Because I Got High"*)

This week, it's CBS innertube, as we finally get the "Road to Price" episode of TPiR on the air, while "Amazing Race" and "Survivor" are headed online.

Jason:  BTW...kudos to CBS Digital for a nice 6 part piece.
Chico:  Very nice.
Jason:  The Road to Price was a nice lil series.
Chico:  But one person did get some camera time, as he will be off to Iraq. Alden, Godspeed from the rest of us at the 'net. And come home safely.
Gordon: Agreed.
Jason:  Well, as you saw, they got the full VIP behind the scenes treatment.
Chico:  As an aside, our good friends at FlashGames are reloading in October. Check them out at flashgameshows.com. That's your shameless plug. For all the plugs they gave us over the years. Now I am a media ho. Hoes of the week! Join me!
Jason:  (dancing to Area Codes)

In this week's Hodometer, we startoff by spreading the hate. Fantasia's dad sues her for libel, a Boy Band gets kicked off of The X Factor for secretly having an agent (oops) and Simon Cowell slams Clay Aiken, calling him an idiot. Meanwhile, we go to Torment Chicoland, as ABC shows us all of the Bachelorettes! Whoopie!

Jason:  And Prince Borghese makes the media ho rounds.
Chico:  At least we have celeb Jeopardy! players to even out the balance. :)
Gordon: On Jeopardy's Roster, the list includes Martin Short, Susan Lucci, Boston Red Sox pitcher Curt Schilling, CNN host Nancy Grace, Regis Philbin ("America's Got Talent"), Rachael Ray ("The Rachael Ray Show"), James Denton ("Desperate Housewives"), Doug Savant ("Desperate Housewives"), Christopher Meloni ("Law & Order: SVU"), Drew Lachey ("Dancing with the Stars"), Carson Kressley ("Queer Eye for the Straight Guy"), Neil Patrick Harris ("How I Met Your Mother"), Jane Kaczmarek ("Help Me Help You"), Joely Fischer ("'Til Death"), Dana Delany ("Kidnapped"), Mario Cantone, Steve Schirripa ("The Sopranos"), Bebe Neuwirth ("Law & Order: SVU"), Paul Shaffer ("The Late Show"), Sam Waterston ("Law & Order"), Soledad O'Brien of CNN and fashion designer Isaac Mizrahi...but none of those are your hoes of the week.
Jason:  Really?
Gordon: The Ho of the week is...Jewel!
Jason:  Really?
Chico:  Bringing balance to the force, young Ho-jumper.
Gordon: Yep. Not only is she a guest judge during the audition rounds for Idol, she also is the new host for Nashville Stars. She's a 2 timing ho
Chico:  Ho ho.
Jason:  Ho Ho indeed.
Gordon: And those...are your hoes.
Chico:  And finally... some sad news in the game show world...

Ralph Story, the host of "The $64,000 Challenge" in the late 1950s, died last week at the age of 83.

(silence)

Gordon: Thank you
Chico:  Brainvision... Done. Categories.... Next. This is WLTI, taking no prisoners and making no apologies ... unless absolutely warranted.

(Brainvision News is powered by SAC... Students Against Comcast. Maryland's cable lineup was just purged on GSN goodness... NOT Comcastic.)

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