October 30, 2006

Gordon: This is Gordon Pepper, and...remember last year, when I wanted to dress up for Halloween as John O Ho'ley?
Chico:  You have photos?
Jason:  Video?
Chico: Crude drawings?
Gordon: No I don't. Sorry.
Chico:  Damn.
Gordon: This year, there are just too many media hoes to choose from...suggestions?
Jason:  You could wear a Hawaiian shirt, carry a large chip and go as Travis Schario :)
Travis: Hey hey hey...
Chico:  I have that shirt, believe it or not.
Jason:  I bet you do.
Travis: That's 7 $1 bills, thank you very much!
Chico:  And your own harem of leggy models.
Travis: Bingo
Chico:  I say take a pair of sandals... cargo shorts... a pooka-shell necklace, and a shirt that says "I'm Probably Lying"... and you would be "General Reality Show Contestant".
Don:    LOL
Gordon: But that would also mean that I would have to get a lobotomy.
Chico:  In case you haven't guessed by now... From Somewhere in Halloweentown.... WLTI... is ON!
Gordon: Yay!
Jason:  Boo.
Chico: Eek!
Gordon: And we are celebrating the Halloween edition of the show with some very special Halloweenies. The first one is dressing up as Leonid the Magnificent this year - Mr. Jason Bllock
Jason:  I don't think too many people will find Leonid attractive on the Costa Del Sol...wait a second...:)
Gordon: Next up, a man dressing up as J.D. Fortune, just because he's Canadian, Mr. Don Harpwood.
Don:    I haven't actually heard much about J.D. lately, so I'm not sure how many people will recognize it.
Gordon: And finally, a man dressed up as Bob Barker...watch where you're placing that microphone buddy...Mr. Travis Schario.
Travis: Complete with harem, of course!
Chico:  Lots of tricks and treats to get through as usual, so let's start egging houses.
Gordon: A number of people in the Mob want to do just that to the house over at 1 Vs. 100 Street. Last week, we said goodbye to Ken Jennings. This week, we say goodbye to Nancy Christie, Kevin Olmstead and John Carpenter.
Travis: Na na na na...
Chico:  And the question was...

Which of these people was a salad NOT named after?
A. Bob Cobb, B. Ceasar Gardenia, C. Francois Nicoise

Jason:  C.
Don:    I wasn't sure when I saw this, though I figured I could eliminate B.
Chico:  I'm going with C as well. I think.
Gordon: The answer....C. The contestant's choice, after confirming it with John Carpenter (who won a million dollars on Millionaire)...A.
Don:    My mom was watching this as well, and she thought A because she thought she heard the name on an episode of Seinfeld.
Gordon: The result? The 18 people left split $51,000, or around $2,700 a person. If you were in the Mob for all 3 episodes so far, you have made around $3,500.
Chico:  Speaking of which, something else was different in this show. They adjusted the money tree.
Gordon: They did. The money tree got cheaper.
Jason:  Because the money went up way too much.
Travis: Boo on that.
Chico:  Probably needed to do that after the first two shows. You give away $300K on two shows, S&P's gonna call you on that. Even if you are a new hit series from abroad.
Jason:  Cant bust the budget.
Gordon: Money gets tighter and the questions get harder. It's good tweaks that need to be made. However, that now makes it only harder and more unfair on the Mob, who right now, only make money should a contestant get a question wrong. Hence, I still want to see the Bailout option featured on the foreign versions that allows you to quit, but in doing so, will fork over a percentage of your money to the mob.
Chico:  But still, changes that need to be made, changes that, at least in my mind, made the show better. And Bob Saget is still... well, the bastard I aspire to be.
Jason:  He is not bad.
Chico:  This is a good fit for him.
Gordon: Saget is getting into his own in this show. I think that he is getting more comfortable, and that Friday night time slot is a safe one where the show can nurture.
Chico:  He says he's channeling Groucho... I'm inclined to believe him.
Gordon: As long as NBC doesn't slather this show around like peanut butter, it has a nice little niche. NOW, should NBC follow up to their original plan and move Deal Or No Deal out there as a companion piece after sweeps, then they have their Friday nights set for the next couple of years.
Jason:  I agree.
Chico:  Yeah, but it'll be at the expense of 1 vs. 100 right now.
Travis: Huzzah and such forth.
Chico:  We have the 10-show order, but it looks like for the time being, they're going to hold off on airing those. But you know what they say, good things are worth the wait.
Jason:  They need to get about 300 people or so for the Mob.
Chico:  On the other hand, you won't have to wait long for two more shows to come down the pike. Who's ready for... The Rich List?
Jason:  I am. And if you can name 40 Disney movies, I am impressed.
Chico:  Now who's ready for ... Show Me the Money?
Travis: I'm ready.  Don't know why, but I'm ready.
Don:    I'm ready for both.
Gordon: I am ready for it. I have a feeling, however, that I'm not going to like what I see.
Chico:  You never like what you see. =p
Travis: Point, Alexander.
Gordon: I'm Haterade. Deal with it.
Chico:  Can and did, it's done. That said, I need a board.

Chico:  Casket shaped Big Board this week.
Travis: oooooooooooooooooooh
Chico:  The title: Show Me the Rich List. Time to throw out reasons why both will succeed... and reasons why both will fail. We're starting with Rich List. Things going for Rich List... Go.
Jason:  No limit on the cash.
Travis: Rich List Succeeds because "they don't stop at 1 million, 2 million, or even TEN MILLION DOLLARS!!"
Jason:  The questions seem difficult.
Gordon: Their host sounds like a normal human being who isn't going to shout every other word - and he's British.
Chico:  Eamonn Andrews (or whatever the devil his name is) is already a proven emcee... you know, over there... in the UK. He could easily drive this show. Now the things that worries you
about the show.
Travis: Rich List Fails because "they don't stop at 1 million, 2 million, or even TEN MILLION DOLLARS!!"
Chico:  The time slot. Wednesday at 9p.
Travis: Right up against the "Price" office's favorite show...LOST.
Chico:  If you're an average TV viewer, you're watching either that show with the island or that show with Mandy Patinkin. Both are established hits. There is always room in a time slot for two hit shows. There is seldom room for three.
Gordon: And they'll go to the big television island in the sky even quicker if all the game is about is naming things off of a list.
Chico:  It's Outburst. You've played it millions of times. There's not that darn much room to expound on that sort of game.
Gordon: Outburst has been on the air a few times. It didn't work. Big Money Outburst probably isn't going to, either.
Chico:  So, to recap... Pros: Good host... big money... easy to follow format. Cons: Time slot... big money... format almost TOO easy.  Next, Show Me the Money.
Travis: *cracks knuckles*
Jason:  Weren't you at the taping Travis?
Travis: I was indeed.
Chico:  Things going for it...It's trailing out of the penultimate Dancing with the Stars.
Travis: Going FOR it?  Um........................................................the dancers.
Jason:  Are they as hot as the "bombaletas" on Vas o No Vas?
Travis: Twice that.
Jason:  Oooh child.
Travis: And the "futuristic burlesque club" that is the set.
Chico:  Damns.
Don:    Wow.
Chico:  How's the game itself?
Travis: The game is good...nothing really earth-shattering.
Chico:  It's good, but at the same time, doesn't really bring anything to the party, like?
Travis: Choose an answer, then choose a dancer.
Gordon: Answer questions and luck determines how much money you make. Yawn.
Travis: Bingo.
Chico:  So basically, DoND and 1v100 have sex to the dulcet tones of William Shatner's "Common People"... And this is the result...err.. sorry.. I meant to say "bump nasty".
Travis: No...have sex is definitely more apropos.
Chico:  Or... "have dirty, shameful relations"... yeah, let's go with that.
Travis: YES...there ya go
Jason:  How good is Shatner?
Travis: I think the appropriate question is..."How....................good............................................is Shatner?"
Chico:  Trust me. At least we won't have a problem with extending the game to an hour :) I expected nothing less from the guy who was in Iron Chef USA.   No, seriously.
Gordon: Nor will anyone be able to change the channel to something else - because they'll all probably be sleeping.
Chico:  So that brings us to "things going against the show"..  1. Shatner.
Gordon: 2. Boring show format. Dancers aren't going to save it. The dancers are supposed to ENHANCE the show, not be the reason why you watch it.
Travis: The questions strike me as a side game...kinda like the groceries in Stack The Deck.
Chico:  There's actually a phrase we learned at the Late Late Show taping. "Expand.... and enhance."
Travis: Actually, it's Blend...and enhance.
Chico:  That, too :)
Travis: I'm telling Chunky D, the opening comedian for the Craig Ferguson show, that you screwed up.
Chico:  Yeah, you do that :)
Jason:  You are on his list, now.
Gordon: And I'm guessing it ain't The Rich List
Travis: Nope
Jason:  LOL
Chico:  So... Pros... presentation. Cons:... Shatner, no game element worth watching, and no blending and enhancing. Which pretty much means everything else.
Gordon: When are these things airing?
Chico:  Rich List airs Wednesdays at 9 starting 11/1 on Fox. Show Me the Money gets a premiere of 11/14 after Dancing with the Stars, then Wednesdays at 8p.
Gordon: Wednesday at 8pm. Against Next Top Model, Jericho, and almost certainly an American Idol results show or two along with some singing performances during February Sweeps. It's going to be cannon fodder, but it may stay there just simply because anything that ABC throws in that spot is going to be cannon fodder.
Jason:  READY....PULL!
Travis: ba-BANG
Jason:  (BOOM)
Gordon: (Toilet bowl flushing sound)
Jason:  Yes, we have no faith.
Chico:  I'm not fixing that.
Jason:  Did the blast hit our studio walls?
Chico:  Well if it did, we could just replace it with a green screen... like the one used on the next Halloween TRICK...Play2Win. It went NATIONAL this week.
Travis: *snore*
Jason:  I feel queasy.
Chico:  Thank you, Superstation WGN for that, lord knows we didn't need two more infomercials.
Don:    I still don't get that channel.
Chico:  You would be one of the lucky ones.
Travis: If you've seen one text-in-to-win show......you really need a life.
Gordon: And to fill us in on HIS take of the show, Mr. Chico Alexander.
Chico:  I actually posted this in my blog... One minute in...I wanted to punch the TV set.
Travis: Up close with your fist, or with the expando-boxing glove like the Joker had in "Batman"?
Chico:  Can't it be both?
Travis: Well, alright.  But just because it deserved it.
Chico:  Okay, if I can bag on the hosts here. Tara looks like she had a collagen nightmare. And the only thing appealing about Amber we can't show on that show because it's TV-G. Gordon knows what I'm talking about. Let's just say, she has this phrase, "Take a good look"... and I'm thinking about something else after that.
Jason:  You bad boy.
Gordon: Amber is a working definition of the phrase 'boob tube', in every sense of the phrase.
Don:    Oh my...
Chico:  Judgment for the show... The Chairman does not approve. Get it off the air. Now. Quickly. Please. And judgment is still out on the Wheel of Fortune Wild Card, since, you know... no one used it yet.
Jason:  A new element was introduced this week on the wheel, the Wild Card. The Wild Card is something I like, when they actually use it. If you land on it and can keep it (hitting Bankrupt causes you to lose it), The Wild Card allows to take a second guess, if you use it and hit the right amount. If you can hold onto it into the bonus round, you will get 4 consonants and one vowel. Nice twist.
Gordon: Very nice. I can't wait to see someone actually use it.
Chico:  It may be a while. That's right up there with hitting the Jackpot.
Don:    Certainly seems like a cool idea.
Gordon: Yes it is. What's not a cool idea however, would be averaging 2 wins a show for the first 4 episodes this week of The Price is Right. Remember when we said a few weeks ago that TPIR may have to worry about their budget? After watching the past month of episodes, we can clearly say...no they don't. Not anymore. And Travis Schario, I blame YOU for this.
Travis: I heard my name?
Gordon: Yes, you did.
Travis: I see. I'm taking the fall for bad contestants...fine...
Gordon: Now I'm sure you're asking HOW do I blame you for this?
Travis: Yes...HOW?
Gordon: Because if you notice in the camera shots, you are nowhere to be seen in the audience. That means that you are no longer helping contestants and instead are leaving them to their own devices. You are allowing these people to write down $5,000 for a Blank Check in the Check Game, stopping the Range Finder way too soon and giving Hans around $35,000 worth in medical bills from him flying off the cliff.
Jason:  lol
Chico:  I think he's prohibited from that. You know, S&P and all.
Travis: Yeah...Program Practices wouldn't be too happy with me doing that.
Gordon: Yes. Therefore, by you being an intern, you are having contestants actually think for themselves, and the results, for the most part, have been disastrous. So...it's YOUR fault! J'Accuse!
Travis: Hey, I'm sending as many thought signals as I can. The problem was...I was not even in the state of California when these shows were taped!
Chico:  Ooh! An alibi!
Travis: My thought signals can't travel 2500 miles.
Gordon: But if you weren't in California, then you obviously were not in the audience. Jury?
Jason:  Not Guilty.
Chico:  He's free to go. He was nowhere near the suck.
Don:    The alibi works for me.
Gordon: So by not being in Cali, you let these poor lemmings dive into the sea.
Travis: Just you wait. My internship shows start on Monday. You'll see.
Chico:  Did they let you pick the games?
Travis: I wish.
Gordon: Don't tell me it gets worse.
Travis: No, it doesn't get worse, Haterade. Yeesh.
Chico:  On that note, Can we be real now?
Gordon: We can be, and before I start, I would like to read another letter from Eddie Timanus, if I may.
Chico:  Please do.
Gordon: Because this leads right into the segment. And yes, only Eddie Timanus's mail gets read before the mail segment.
Chico:  Because he guested on the 2004 Show, so he gets to play with us.
Gordon: And because Eddie is studly like that.
Travis: Nice.
Don:    Cool.
Gordon: Exactly.
Chico:  The letter from Eddie...

Travis: nice...Thanks, Eddie.
Jason:  Thanks, Eddie.
Gordon: Thanks for the letter, Eddie.
Chico:  I'm going to agree with Eddie here. I mean, it's a preemptive strike of sorts.
Gordon: In this case, I'm going to happen to disagree with you. The teams knew exactly what they were doing when they gave Team Kentucky the Fast Forward. And quite frankly, I would have done the same thing. So why, do you ask, do it? Here's why: We all agree that Team Kentucky is not a strong team, right?
Jason:  I guess.
Gordon: And the 2 front running teams weren't too concerned about being eliminated. So instead of knocking out a weak team, why not give them the Fast Forward in hopes that a stronger team would do something stupid and get knocked out?
Don:    Interesting strategy, there.
Gordon: And that is exactly what happened, as Sarah and Peter, who have won a few of the legs, get lost and get eliminated from the competition.
Chico:  You get the Fast Forward, right? And not only have you bolted out into an insurmountable lead, you have also reduced the chance of other teams getting said Fast Forward and catching up with you. I think Bob Harris illustrated it nicely in his book. It's a very useful book if you think about it. It's very Machiavellian.
Jason:  I think you use all advantages to make sure you win, not someone else would. Bob's book rocks.
Gordon: But the way the Race has been set up, with stores closing at different times and with airlines only having certain flights at certain hours, there's no way you would get a lead that big that no one would catch up with you.
Chico:  That's a known unknown though.
Gordon: It isn't. The Race would make sure of it, between 4 hour delays on planes and other openings and closings, it would be an inevitability that the teams would catch up. Sometimes, the best play to make is not to win a stage, but to make sure that a strong team who could pose threat to you later on loses the stage so you never have to deal with them again. THAT is how you win a competition. Not by thinking from stage to stage, but by thinking 3 or 4 steps down the line. It happens in Survivor all the time, when people vote out threats. I'm glad it's happening here, too.
Chico:  It's called human chess. Now with more human chess, here's Gordon. *plays Take Me Out*
Gordon: Not making good plays this week, however, was Brooke, who gets booted from Top Model, and Jerry Springer, who finally gets cut in Dancing With the Stars. Awwww....
Jason:  And who looks sympathetic.
Gordon: BTW, his TV show ratings took a HUGE boost this season. You think that DWTS has, oh, a wee bit to do with that?
Jason:  Just a tad.
Chico:  Maybe a bit
Don:    Maybe.
Chico:  Like Meredith on Today had an effect on her ratings on Millionaire?
Jason:  Oh yeah.
Chico:  That and more as we DO THE NEWS! Choppler is loaded.
Jason:  Animals, Jackets are ready!
Chico:  Give me the word.
Gordon: Roll that Beautiful Brain Footage
Chico:  Thank you.

(Doug: Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)

Chico:  And thank you... And first up, Gordon?
Gordon: Anyone want to audition for a show? Or 2? Or 3?
Jason:  I do! I do!
Chico:  MEEEEEE!
Don:    I wanna!
Jason:  (starts getting pictures and pen ready)

In addition to the Mob Members needed, you can show up to Roanoke, VA for the Jeopardy bus, or North Carolina and Alabama for the WOF Wheelmobile. You don't even have top leave your house to audition - you can go to MySpace to be a comic for TBS or Yahoo for a talent compeititon or bravotv.com to compete as a hairdresser. And yes, some good news for Canadians! Deal or No Deal will be creating a version for Canada.

Gordon: Ryan Vickers will be rejoicing...as well as a certain Donut, I believe.
Don:    You bet!
Jason:  And Howie is hosting, being Canadian.
Chico:  This should be quite interesting. We all remember the "WWTBAM Canadian Edition", right?
Don:    Oh, I remember that.
Don:    I would have tried for that, but I was about a year too young.  That won't be a problem for me this time!
Chico:  Nope. Sure won't. Canadian models, maybe?
Jason: YEAH! (Drool)
Chico:  Next up...

Ruben Studdard and Clay Aiken may have been two of the biggest stars of American Idol 2, but haven't exactly lit up charts with their sophomore albums.

Chico:  I think Clay sold 200,000 of his CD, while Ruben only sold about 71,000.
Don:    Ouch.
Chico:  Still, Ruben's CD was #8 this week. And then comes November when a glut of Idol product and one America's Got Talent winner's product hits stores.
Gordon: Bianca Ryan shows up November 14th.
Chico:  Prospects... If it sucks, it sucks, name or none.
Gordon: The Idolers and AGT winner have another problem - the radio. With the exception of Kelly Clarkson, who has turned into a superstar, none of the other radio stations are going to play anyone else's material, and with no promotion, you get no sales.
Chico:  Unless you're niche market (see Underwood, Carrie)
Gordon: How many Carrie Underwood songs have you heard in NC on the radio, Chico?
Chico:  Three. You're forgetting, where I work I am forced to listen to country radio.
Gordon: How many Clay Aiken songs have you heard in NC on the radio, Chico?
Chico:  From the new CD? One... and it's from the station that's been pimping the hell out of him since he auditioned. "I CAN'T LI-I-I-I-IVE...Oh, if living is without you..."
Jason:  Ugh.
Gordon: How much stuff have you heard on the radio, Jay, because I haven't heard anything.
Jason:  Not very much. All I have heard is about Ruben's weight loss. I haven't heard Clay or Ruben on PLJ, which is bad because that is one of the biggest AC40 stations in the coutnry.
Chico:  Everyone wants to get their SexyBack or some such..
Gordon: And that's my point. If its not on NY radio, its not going to be heard by millions of people, which means millions of revenue going down the drain, Speaking of which, we have lots of Haterade to go around this week...
Chico:  Should I get a cherry pick for all that?
Gordon: You know we have an All-Star edition of The Amazing Race, right?
Jason:  Yeah...(shudders)
Chico:  Right...

Well, NOW we're hearing complaining from people who DIDN'T get the invite. Some of them could be sour grapes, like Jonathan and Victoria, but others, like Rob/Brennan (AR1 Winners), Kim/Chip (AR5 Winners) and BJ/Tyler (AR9 Winners)...well, those are weird to see omitted. They aren't all-stars?

Chico:  They're totally all-star.
Jason:  I don't think so. No previous winners should be back.
Don:    Those were good teams.
Gordon: This should be 'All Stars', not 'People who looked cool who should come back, regardless of whether they actually won anything'
Chico:  And CBS has been known for bringing winners back, much to our behest.
Jason:  I know.
Chico:  But if they're going the all-star route, why now are they excluding the winners? Doesn't really gel with the past history.
Jason:  True
Chico:  But then again, I'm opposed to the All-Stars concept to begin with, so what the hell do I know?
Jason:  So am I. But this is a ratings ploy.
Chico:  Next up...  let's get Fully Loaded...This week, it's innertube. You all know what innertube is, right?
Don:    Yep.
Chico:  It's Broadband CBS.
Gordon: Yep.
Chico:  They dump shows there.
Jason: Yep.
Chico: Well, how about the REVERSE happening?

The innertube series "Inturn," is getting promoted to a one-hour broadcast slot on November 24. The spotlight will be on Alex Charak, the 18-year-old who won the competition.

Jason:  He is now interning for "As The World Turns"
Chico:  It's kinda like what HGTV is doing for "The Making of a Design Star" this Thursday. The move marks the first time CBS will air a show created exclusively for the Web on television.
Gordon: I like the concept.
Chico:  Hopefully they can get some of the whole deinterlacing cleaned up, because that's a killer. "It looks like I'm watching a viral video.". "And there's a media ho in it."
Gordon: Ho, ho, hoes.
Chico:  "And she's dancing to Area Codes"... Wait, Gordon, did you have anything to do with that?
Gordon: Mayyyybe...
Don:    lol
Jason:  He is a programmer after all.
Gordon: :) In this week's Media Ho Report...

Clay Aiken will be on Days of Our Lives, Ivanka Trump will keep her name in marriage, David Hasselhoff's divorce continues to get ugly, Donald Trump is making a deal with Steve Wynn, while Reichen and Lance continue to get death threats on Reichen's new book. Ed McMahon goes on tours to talk about Johnny Carson, while Bowzer is going to have a Rock and Roll party in New Zealand.

Jason:  DH? Sad. Reichen/Lance---Ugly.
Gordon: And the HO of the Week is....Dick Clark! Dick's been a busy little Media Ho this week. For starters, he's auctioning off a lot of his American Bandstand Memorabilia. But the great news is that he's coming back with Ryan Seacrest for another 'Dick Clark's Rocking New Years Eve'. COngratulations!
Jason:  Very cool Continued recovery, we hope.
Chico:  And with all due speed.
Gordon: I honestly can't wait to see him. Even if he's not 100%, it's going to be great to see him. Last one?
Chico:  Time for a Global trip before we head to break...

MPs are probing call-in game shows to see if they classify as gambling and, if so, why aren't charities getting any money from it.

Chico:  Makes sense. Actually, it got Midnight Money Madness in trouble. Because if you remember, the only thing keeping MMM, P2W, Playmania, and the rest from becoming televised gambling shows is the online portal. UK games HAVE NO such portal.
Jason:  Ah.
Chico:  Add consumer complaints, and you have yourself a probe. There's your Going Global this week. Now let's head home... and shut down the Choppler for another week.
Gordon: Boooooop
Jason:  Good kitties, and all that.
Chico:  Next up, Gordon's bringing the three doors back but first... I've got a list or six that needs to be abused.
Gordon: And we'll be more than happy to abuse it
Chico:  That's why you're my guys. This is WLTI... Home of the million dollar guarantee...All together now...
Everyone:   Give us a million dollars, and we'll talk about whatever the hell you want.
Gordon: You better believe it.

(Brainvision has been brought to you by the Who Wants to Be A Millionaire Dancers. Watch each of 15 Hotties prance around with a suitcase featuring the next money level. You know that's going to happen once it hits prime time again, so just deal with it.)

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