July 23, 2005
Gordon: If it's a dude ranch, do they have to figure out if the horses or
straight or gay?
Chico: That's another show.
Travis: Lest we forget the 6 mischievous kids that work there and the ranch boss
that always wears goofy western clothes.
Chico: That's another show, too. A good one... but another one. Sigh. By the
way, if you like what you see here... let me tell you. It's better live.
Travis: Live? How is that possible?
Gordon: How can they see us live, Chico?
Chico: You can catch us at GSC4. Sunday morning at 8. Meet the crew, get some
breakfast, ask us anything. That sort of thing. They're giving us two hours, I
have to plug them.
Gordon: And I'm guessing that they need to register by going to
Chico: Yeah. Man, this is worse than Shonen Jump. Get us outta here, Gordo.
Gordon: You know what else you'll see at GSC4? Whammies!
Travis: Hasta Luego, Arrividerci, Bon Voyage, that means GOOD BYE!!!!!
Gordon: We start with the Vaudeville Whammy...
Carrie Ann Inaba has now been in both dancing shows. We haven't seen Paula
Abdul this Summer, but there's been more than enough coverage of her with Idol.
They will both be on So You Think You Can Dance. Which one gets the Vaudeville
Whammy and needs to be carted via cane off of the stage for being on too long?
Chico: I give it to Paula. She's going to be joining Carrie Ann on the show (as
Travis: I'm with Chico on this one.
Gordon: Confirmed. 3 Whammies to Paula Abdul.
Chico: Remember, one more and you're going home.
Gordon: (whoo-whoo) Duh, duh duh duh, duh duh duh 'Look at me....whoa!'. Watch
out for that Corey Clark Whammy, Paula.
Chico: He'll take your money and your good name.
Gordon: Next up - The Martha Stewart Whammy...
Too many Cranky British judges is not 'A Good Thing'. Nigel Lythgoe or Simon
Cowell. Which one needs to get a whammy beat down?
Chico: Simon. I happen to like Nigel.
Chico: Plus he's the only one to have actually hosted a game show. We CAN'T give
it to him.
Gordon: Is it me, or does Simon seems to be the apprentice and Nigel seems to be
the master of the insults?
Chico: It ain't you. The teacher has come home to roost. Nigel is the
self-proclaimed king of the barbed comment.
Gordon: We don't have an Apprentice Whammy, so Simon gets the Martha Stewart
Chico: Close enough. Next Whammy?
Gordon: We do have a 'Fashion Model Whammy'. And keeping on the subject...
Ryan's Seacrest tacky clothing line, or Regis
Philbin's tacky clothing line. Which one needs to take to the runway because
it's out of style?
Chico: Seacrest. You know you can go to any JCPenney and/or Hot Topic to get his
Chico: And at least Regis had the GQ thing going on, you know? You look at
Regis... Class. You look at Seacrest... Ass.
Gordon: I actually disagree. Seacrest's stuff will probably do better sales-wise
Chico: But which would YOU rather be seen in?
Gordon: I'm not a Suit and Tie guy, so I'd probably be more likely to wear
Seacrest's clothing, and grab another Whammy shirt at Hot Topic. Maybe pick up
a Haterade T-Shirt in the process.
Chico: It's big. It's ugly. It's gray... It's you!
Gordon: I'll accept gray. I'll leave the big and ugly monikers for you, though.
Chico: *buzz* Wrong. Sorry. Next Whammy.
Gordon: 'I'm so hungry I can eat your clothing line'. Continuing the nice segway...
Tommy Hilfiger or Kathy Hilton. You can only give ONE of them the 'Director
Whammy' for not stars quite yet.
Gordon: Oooh - a debate.
Chico: Kathy's actually getting better at this, and the ratings show either this
or that the public will watch anything.
Travis: I think it's the latter.
Chico: Well, so do I, but I can't argue with the will of the people no matter
how much I want to.
Travis: Paris has oversaturated the market with "sex appeal." Her mother isn't
Chico: Let's go to Gordon on this one.
Gordon: I actually think that it boils down to what's the worse remake of either
The Apprentice or The Benefactor. If the Apprentice wasn't on, would I enjoy
Tommy's show? Yes, I would. If the Benefactor or Kept wasn't on, would I like
Kathy's show? No, I wouldn't. Hence Kathy gets the whammy.
Chico: Makes sense. I liked the Benefactor, but what the hell...
Gordon: Now that she's a star, she needs make-up. Make-up!
Gordon: Next Whammy - The American Express Whammy.
American Idoler Carrie Underwood is plugging Hersheys while 'Reality Star' Zora
from Joe Millionaire is doing the Nutrisystem Tour. Which person needs a whammy
to get off the air?
Gordon: I was going to put up Trista as well, but I know where Chico's Whammy
would be going.
Travis: Zora needs the Whammy.
Chico: Well, you still know where my Whammy goes. Carrie Underpar gets my
Whammy. At least no one got a chance to hate Zora yet.
Gordon: At least Carrie used her talent to get her somewhere. The claim to fame
is 'Reality Star?' Please. Zora gets the whammy, and I'm tossing one over to
Travis: If Zora could use proper grammar, I wouldn't have a problem.
Chico: So Zora... here's a card for you... "Hello... Do you know me?"
Gordon: Last Whammy.
Chico: Last Whammy!
Travis: The Final Red Rascal.
Chico: Duck smack.
Big Brother's Michael Donnellan (girl fondler), Justin Sebik (knife holder) or
Scott Long (Genital Warts). Which one gets the Halloween Ghost whammy for being
Chico: Michael...Actually, can we give'em to all three?
Travis: They are all creepy in their own rights.
Chico: Fondling, cutting, and throwing stuff are all equally creepy.
Gordon: I actually think Justin is the creepiest, so Whammies for all of them!
Gordon: (whoo-whoo) 'Trick or Treat'. (Whammy adult reveals under the ghost
cover to see a Whammy) - AAAHHHHHHHH! That's a rare whammy. Do you guys remember
Travis: Not really.
Gordon: It was in the original PYL as one of the later whammys, but it did make
an appearance during the episodes on GSN. Too bad Jason Hernandez isn't here to
Travis: Oh well.
Chico: That's a rare Whammy alright. Okay, one more break and then we're going
Gordon: Let's do it.
Chico: Big Finish after this...
(Sponsored by the David Madden pogo stick. Even if you can't jump around the
board like he can, you can at least jump around the room.)
Gordon: And look like a Whammy doing it.
Chico: Pogo till you puke.
Travis: I love the new Lingo commercial. CHUCK IS MISSING (fishing).
Chico: Me too.
Gordon: Now replacing Chuck for Lingo 4...Evan Marriott!
Chico: ANYTHING BUT THAT!
Travis: I'll pull a harikari if that's true.
Gordon: Chico will follow with a seppuku, I believe.
Gordon: Anyways, let's get on to THE BIG FINISH! GSN is delaying 'Anything to
Win' to 2006, citing that they need to do more research on some of the episodes.
Is this sending up warning signs?
Travis: More research?
Chico: Yeah, they couldn't find anything lasting on their stories, so... yeah.
Gordon: I think Anything to Win and Chokers, while both good ideas, are more apt
for ESPN than GSN
Chico: Agreed. BB6, who's seeing Aunt Julie next?
Gordon: Barring Veto, James is getting a 1 way ticket out, but with veto, it
will be Eric or Maggie.
Chico: Sounds about right.
Gordon: This week coming up - Master Blasters. Does that interest either of you?
Chico: Interests me a lot.
Travis: Meh. Not really. I'll look in on it, though.
Gordon: You going to cover it, Chico?
Chico: Depends. When and where?
Gordon: Sci-fi Channel. 9pm on Wednesdays.
Chico: I'll take it if it prevents me from watching T-Boz and Chilli.
Gordon: It wont - that show is on 8pm
Gordon: The Law Firm is on Thursday. Any interest?
Travis: I'll check it out. I always liked Matlock.
Gordon: ok - I'm all done. Any mail?
Gordon: I got no mail either
Chico: Well, we'll have to ask for some...
Gordon: What's the mailing address?
It's the best thing you can do with five minutes.
Gordon: ok. That ends the wackiness for this week. Thanks again to Travis
Schario joining us.
Travis: No problem, guys.
Chico: He's Gordon Pepper...
Gordon: He's Chico Alexander...
Chico: And We Love to Interrupt. Until next week, game over and spread the love.
Gordon: Match Game and Out!