Episode 30.12 - Down the Tubes
August 20

Gordon: I hear it works for boxers and punted Big Brother contestants also.
Chico: Ow. Welcome back to the show. Thanks for being a part of our week, and allowing us to be a part of yours. And now, I just came back from vacation, I'm going on another one. I'm taking the Whammies with me.
Gordon: Now I see that Chico has a box, and it's moving,.
Chico: That's why the box is moving. The Whammies are restless. They need... traveling companions. We've got a few in mind, so let's get to it... first...

Hope Solo or Maksim Chmerkovskiy. Who gets the Olympic Whammy for a) taking my picture, smacking my (^_^) up and/or b) making cash money dllars out of it.

Gordon: It depends on if you believe Hope (he hit me) or Maks (she's a lying bleep)
Chico: Well, who stands to gain the most from it? I'm going to side with Maks on this. Hard to believe, huh?
Gordon: Now Maks is an emotional guy and a hothead, but I have a feeling that this would have come out awhile ago f he was violent, Hence I'm sending the Whammy to Hope. Next one...

The Singing Rock Star whammy goes to...Sharon Osbourne, for the live powerplay of quitting from her role as AGT judge, or Howard Stern for threatening to make this a bigger mess by confronting her on it on national live TV?

Chico: Well, Howard's being Howard. Sharon's the one that instigated the whole thing. We know Howard LOVES Sharon. ... so let's Whammy Sharon.
Gordon: I'm going to go a different direction. Sharon's doing this for the love of her son. Howard's never wound up doing it and did it for the sake of ratings. For that, I'll give mine to Howard. So one of each. next one?
Chico: Next one... This is the part of the show where we rag on GSN. It seems like they're always one step forward, two steps back in terms of programming. People are responding to Harvey Feud and Minute to Win It... and they're hopeful for Pyramid, Chefs, and Bible. but then you have Family Trade and that show with the sisters who do ... stuff. I don't remember.

Who do you give the American Express Whammy to: David Goldhill or Amy Introcaso-Davis?

Gordon: Goldhill. He's the guy at the top.
Chico: Agreed. And he hired Amy. Knowing full well she has no idea what she's doing. You want to talk pasta theory? There you go. Next?
Gordon: That being said., I'm not going to rip on the new regime until I see the programming. Don't be a fanboy.
Chico: Not going there.
Gordon: Am i hopeful? no, but I'm not going to yell at them unless there's something to yell at.
Chico: But there's a definition of "insanity".
Gordon: We got Steve Harvey and MTWI, both of which are good moves.
Chico: Just saying.
Gordon: I wouldn't say just yet. Next one...

The American Express Whammy. Joining Celebrity Big Brother in the Uk...former Bachelor Prince Lorenzo Borghese and Mike 'The Situation' Sorrentino. WHo needs a Whammy for a reality check?

Chico: The Situation. Obviously. I mean, not even Jersey wants him. and that's real talk.
Gordon: On the other hand, Sorrentino is a Media Ho. This for him, is his job. he's a reality star. Shouldn't Borghese be manning over his company - or his country?
Chico: Or... something?
Gordon: Yes. So he gets my whammy.
Chico: Alrighty. Next, it's the Britney Spears Whammy...

...for the newbies on the X Factor, the panel of Duets, or the panel of The Next.

Gordon: The Panel of Duets. X-Factor is out and The Next actually has people who want to help. The Duets Panel had the charisma of plastic blow-up dolls.
Chico: And that includes Kelly Clarkson, who we just fell in love with 10 years ago. Have a Whammy, Idol. Finally?
Gordon: Last one...

Kanye West or Kim Kardashian. Pick one.

Chico: Kim Kardashian. Let's give her the Supermodel Whammy.
Gordon: Definitely Kim. If you are staying in that sort of relationship, you ARE the perfect beotch.
Chico: NICE. And there goes the train to Whammyville. Wave goodbye! *does so*. ... and take us to break.
Gordon: Bye train! Hello Break!
Chico: Pick Your Poison on the other side. See you there.

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Chico: Love it. I heard the story about that this morning on Coach & Coleman. For the record, Gordon is Coach. :-) And right now, it's time for the coach to serve up.
Gordon: We now serve up some Pick Your Poison. I'll give you a choice of Game Show Activities and you'll tell me which one you'll do. For example...

Play Wipeout for $50,000 with 24 competitors or Oh Sit! for less than that with 12 competitors?

Chico: You know what... I'll go with beating people from the side on Oh Sit. Yeah, Wipeout pays more... but what can I say... I like to shove. :-) I'm a pusher.
Gordon: Well the odds are better and you can hope that stronger competitors get knocked out by teh CHAIR of DOOM. Watch your back, compadre.
Chico: Bring it, homes. Next...

Cooking for $250,000 against other amateurs... or cooking against a chef for ... less?

Gordon: That would be Beat The Chefs, where I can win 10 large if I can win on one dish.
Chico: Right.
Gordon: The $250,000 I need to cook 20+ dishes for. I'll take my chances with a one shot dish.
Chico: And people don't know this, but given the space, you're a darn good cook.
Gordon: I am a good cook. I think I can knock out a chef with a lucky shot.
Chico: $10K on one dish... I can do that. I just need to be creative, methodical... and pay the judges off. :-)
Gordon: Give them UNC Jerseys.
Chico: Heh. Next up?
Gordon: Next...

Dance with a Violent Star or Be Violent with the Brother of a Dancing Star?

Gordon: Hope, or Nick Lachey's partner.
Chico: OH...
Gordon: Did you see what I did?
Chico: I see what you did there. I'll dance with a violent star.
Gordon: I'll go with being violent. I have no chance to win DWTS, and I may have a shot at Stars Earn Stripes and the right to be petitioned to be yanked off the air.
Chico: Lucky you.
Gordon: On a side note, I personally feel that the show does NOT advocate the glorification of war. If anything, it shows how hard it is. So to all of the people who want to yank the show - chill out.
Chico: Well, if you want to know how hard Army life is? Here's an idea... ask a soldier. Just putting that out there.
Gordon: We proudly support our troops.
Chico: We do. NEXT...

Pyramid.... Player or partner?

Chico: Partner gets to crack the jokes. Player gets paid.
Gordon: This is tough. Knowing my makeup (and how competitive I am),. I'll have to say...partner. I relish the ability to play many times and not make money more than the ability to get stuck with a bum partner and be one and done.
Chico: So you love the game and nothing else. I can respect that.
Gordon: I respect the game.
Chico: I can respect the hell out of that. I'm with you on that.
Gordon: It's why growing up I always preferred to be creating the games instead of playing them - though I can whoop you if I decided to enter the arena.
Chico: You are ON, my friend. You are on. Sorry, NEXT.
Gordon: Next one...

Be a Male Model on Price is Right or a Character Model on Face-Off?

Chico: Character model.
Gordon: But Chico! You can model a new car!
Chico: I love disguises. Halloween is my favorite holiday of the year. I love the opportunity to put on a mask and be someone else for a while. Besides. I only LOOK like a TPIR prospective male model. =p You on the other hand... You are the complete package.
Gordon: It would be a blaast - and as it's makeup, I can almost certainly return to model again and again.
Chico: And they wouldn't know it was you. So you see where I'm coming from.
Gordon: I do. I'd go with the Face-off, actually. I could be anonymous and keep doing it, vs. getting all sorts of famous like on TPIR and having to wear dark glasses to avoid being mobbed by my throngs of fans.
Chico: He has throngs, y'all. Finally.. Let's say you finally win Olympic gold for your rapier wit.
Gordon: I'm a cunning linguist.

Do you woo your many fans with roses or dance with one of them on the dance floor?

Gordon: Let's see. Either be on possibly one episode, or be on the whole season. Too easy. Give me Chris Harrison and the Bachelor. I want my own pad.
Chico: I'd like to dance. Especially with Chelsie Hightower. Not playing favorites or anything..... but I'm totally playing favorites or anything.
Gordon: I can dance with my fans too. Away from the cameras. In my bed.
Chico: BREAK!
Gordon: Who knows the horizontal macarena?
Chico: Okay, Gordon's had too much. We'll be back with a speed round right after this.

(Brought to you by Internet Courage. The drink that gives you the power to be as annoyingly funny on the internet as you want. Only catch is, it only works on the internet. Once you get to the big stage, you're on your own. )

Gordon: It's real easy to post a video when you have unlimited tries at it. Much harder when you only get one take.
Chico: Yup. And an audience ... pregnant pauses. Then in desperation, all you can say is... "LOVE ME!"
Gordon: Yep. And with that, the Speedround...starts...now!
Chico: AGT: you sticking with your four?
Gordon: I am. You?
Chico: Yep. Big Brother. Power Player exits the house?
Gordon: If they are smart. The jury is out on that. 4 new shows this week. Which one will we like the most at this time next week?
Chico: I'm going to go with.... Beat the Chefs. Or Face Off.
Gordon: I'll say Face-off. Any email?
Chico: Not any that I'd like to print in polite company. You?
Gordon: Nope. But we're here, on Facebook, YouBoob and now in the clw83.com Family.
Chico: And we are so proud of that. Go over to CLW83.com, Download, and tell us what you think. We do listen to our audience if they only talk.
Gordon: True. that's it for this week. Special thanks to no one in particular, as it's just Chico and myself.
Chico: You're welcome, G. Next week... this game show is about to celebrate its 29th season with 5 Questions. That's the clue.
Gordon: What is Jeopardy?
Chico: Correct! Hopefully we'll have some answers for you with that. Until then for everyone at GSNN, he's Gordon. I'm Chico. Game over, and spread the love.