Chico: *wearing Team USA jersey* Hey there world, I'm Chico Alexander... and this right here... *passes torch*... is Gordon Pepper.
Gordon: Hmmm... (Sets the torch down. Brings out some s'mores and roasts them over the torch.)
Chico: I'm honestly disappointed that I didn't get to see David Tennant light the cauldron when everyone reappeared last night.
Jason: I agree.
Chico: Oh well.. yeah, that didn't happen, did it?
Jason: But I will give...James Bond and The Queen
Chico: Yes
Chico: So while America's got athletic talent in London, we've got... talent talent here. Because from somewhere in America... WLTI... is... ON!
Jason: (salutes)
Gordon: The talented Gordon Pepper and Chico Alexander here, along with our talented guest, Mr. Jason Block
Jason: Thank you for having me.
Chico: We've got a lot to cover, so let's start with probably the best display of talent this season...



Jason: Gordon what did you call it to me this week when we spoke about it?
Gordon: This was the...GROUP OF DOOM
Jason: (cue evil music)
Jason: In my personal opinion I saw 6 of 12 acts that could win this whole thing.
Chico: Agreed. Gordon... saw 10.
Gordon: It really depends on the audience. I thought 10 of the acts put in performances that, if they were in another week, would have gotten them through.
Chico: The other two? Well, I'm sure he'll tell us. Let's run it down. First up, David "The Bullet" Smith. He shot himself out of a cannon. He's this season's Professor Splash.
Jason: Yeah. Great act, but not a Million Dollar one.
Gordon: Not a million dollars, but could have advanced.
Chico: All That! The repeat offenders. Now interesting story. This was the first week where Gordon, Jason, and I did the recap live. And I said, repeatedly.... if All That! were allowed to advance... I would be done with the series.
Gordon: They definitely had the returning audience behind them. You almost got your wish, as they did come in the 4th/5th slot.
Chico: I mean, it would just be a sham to me.
Jason: But they weren't a million dollar act. They were one of my 6 though
Chico: Nope. The standard since season 1 was raised.
Gordon: but the audience clearly hasn't changes. I think any other week, they get in.
Chico: They were good... not great. In that regard, I agree with Howard, but All That! gets an early Christmas present. Thank you Sharon.
Gordon: Sharon makes sure they come back for the Wild Card show, which means that Chico's retirement may just be delayed.
Chico: Meanwhile... Ulysses channels Barry Manilow and his Bandstand Boogie.
Jason: There is one of my bad two. Awful.
Chico: Dude.... I miss Dick Clark as much as the next guy, but... NO.
Gordon: Yeah. This was one of my 'No Shots'. Picked the wrong song, wrong idea, wrong choreography, wrong wrong wrong. Which is a shame, because I thought he had a ton of potential.
Chico: He really did, but he made too many mistakes. Next, Joe Castillo sculpts animals out of sand. And it makes for a really hypnotic, almost fascinating display.
Gordon: Here's your new potential artist.
Chico: More like limitless potential.
Gordon: This is your Silhouettes group
Jason: Yes. He was spectacular.
Chico: Could be a dark horse.
Gordon: If he can keep the ideas up, he sure can.
Chico: How about Sebastien "El Charro de Oro" singing "Besame Mucho". Not the Beatles version, the real version.
Gordon: El Charro de oh no.
Jason: Again it was niche, it was cute, it was one of my six...but it was GOOD...not spectacular
Gordon: He didn't hit the pitches right. Sorry. He screamed it.
Chico: What Jason said. He's a kid. He still needs polish.
Gordon: America obviously does not like kids this season.
Jason: That's the Howard factor.
Chico: Yep. He's only saying what we're thinking. Which is why Eric Dittleman won the judges' vote.
Jason: Because Piers would screw kids over and America would say, oh yeah?
Gordon: The trick itself is an easy one to figure out.
Chico: Now he had a mind reading trick that looked a little bit familiar. Especially if you're Howie.
Gordon: You have the cases that open up on 2 sides.
Jason: Dittleman was fun, clever, and I didn't get it which means either I am dumb, or the trick was good. What about the envelope?
Gordon: Note that Eric turned the one upside down, effectively switching it's sides. The '4' on the envelope is a plastic sticker that you could see pasted by Eric before he flipped it over. Notice the number on the video was off-centered and slanted.
Jason: Even so....it was a very entertaining trick
Chico: So it was basically parlor tricks and sleight of hand.
Gordon: HOWEVER, he did a unique version of the trick, and on presentation (and the fact that there are no magicians that made it to the next round), he'll get in.
Chico: Easy. William Close and his Earth Harp performed a little bit of The Who.
Gordon: Which is a pity, because I would have LOVED to have seen a Chico meltdown
Jason: William Close CAN be in Vegas right now. Seriously.
Gordon: Best performance of the night. No one else came even close. He could be going up against Winner Hockenberry in the finals if William keeps mixing up the song selections.
Chico: He could overtake Tim Hockenbery.
Jason: That is way possible.
Chico: The race just got a little more interesting.
Gordon: Which would still mean a musician wins, but a different style.
Chico: What chances do you give Unity in Motion, which would be the Silhouettes... without the Silhouettes?
Gordon: Again, they advance if they were on a different show. I think we'll see a bunch of these acts in the Wildcard round. They would be one of them, along with All That.
Jason: Again, Good but not great.
Chico: They need to step it up a bit.
Gordon: They will, because I'm thinking All That gets one of those Top 3 slots.
Chico: And then I quit again.
Gordon: Hey Jason - you want to cover the show with me?
Chico: Eric & Olivia sing "Dynamite" by Taio Cruz.
Jason: No problem. And This was my other X act. WTF was that mate?
Chico: It was... acoustic nightmare.
Gordon: You have to use what brought you to the dance. This didn't. Didn't they learn from John Wesley that dark moody version of songs don't work here?
Jason: They didn't apparently.
Chico: They needed to go dark and moody.
Gordon: No they didn't. They needed to be hip and happening. That didn't happen.
Chico: Well, they didn't need to sing Taio Cruz, that's for sure.
Gordon: or a 2 year old song.
Chico: Lindsey Norton danced a Cirque du Soleil pas de deux... which didn't really click.
Jason: Again...good but not great.
Gordon: Here's the problem with her act - and most singles dancers acts in general here. There was no story at all. It's ;I can do some fancy moves'., yes, they were fancy, but with no cohesion, I didn't give her much of a shot.
Jason: Gordon is right here.
Gordon: But again, I could have seen her advance in the insipid week #2.
Chico: Which had to advance someone. Now someone who HAD a story but for all intents and purposes should've been booted a long time ago? HORSE.
Jason: There's my get of show card.
Chico: They went for the entertaining story of a superhero... who gets kicked in the twig and berries a lot. An act like this succeeds on imagination.
Gordon: I thought he had a good act. I thought, however, his Vegas act was stronger. If he went on the danger side with fire, etc. He could have gotten in. H's almost a lock for the WIld Card round.
Chico: Of course, this isn't the last we've heard of him.
Gordon: So if Horse and All That win the Wild Cards, you're both quitting?
Jason: Done. Horse makes Jackass look good.
Gordon: and if Big Barry advances, I'LL quit, There, Happy?
Chico: Okay.
Jason: Sure.
Gordon: Because I know Howie will bring back Big Barry just to torture all of us.
Chico: That takes some doing. Finally, the act of the night in my opinion.. Olate Dogs.
Jason: Olate Dogs missed a spot or two. You have to be perfect here. Sorry.
Chico: It was perfect enough for the audience.
Jason: And besides, I don't like animal acts that much
Gordon: I agree with...Jason. They were sloppy. They get in because they had the last act slot, but their game must improve DRASTICALLY if they want to get any further
Jason: If the act was a human tumbling act, they don't get in.
Chico: It kinda reminded me of All Wheel Sports. They had so much going on that it was impossible to follow it all at once.
Gordon: Again, tell a story. a GOOD story.
Chico: So we take a break from the Talent for the Olympics. We have 16 acts in the semis, who do you like?
Jason: William Close
Gordon: Well next up - You Boob and then the Wild Cards.,
Chico: Yep.
Gordon: Now I know all of the Wild Cards aren't in yet, but we can guess a few.
Chico: Yep.
Jason: Big Barry
Chico: All That! is in courtesy of Sharon, which leaves 11.
Jason: Wordspit and the Illest
Chico: Wordspit and the Illest! gets in...
Gordon: Howard will bring back Horse and Wordspit and the Illest. Howie will bring back Big Booby. So we're down to 8 spots..
Chico: Hawley Magic gets in to fill our magician's quota. Lil' Starr gets in.
Jason: Unity in Motion
Gordon: I tihnk there will be a solo dancer - but not Lil Starr
Chico: 787 Crew.
Gordon: I don't think 787 Crew gets a slot.
Jason: Lindsey Norton gets your solo dance slot
Gordon: BUT...and here me out...I think 2 acts that did not make the Top 48 will get a shot here.
Chico: you think so?
Jason: Listening
Gordon: I do. At least one definitely. Stepz and Andrew De Leon.
Chico: ... I'll go with that.
Gordon: Will you go with morons in a house?
Chico: HouseS. Plural.



Chico: Let's start with the big house. The vote was Jojo's to lose... and she lost it.
Gordon: No no no no no
Jason: WRONG
Gordon: It's gang up on Chico time. Jason, if you will? Please explain to uncle Chico why Jo Jo went bye bye
Chico: Okay, explain to me how I'm wrong, because as far as I'm concerned, Danielle had no friends and no fight.
Jason: Because Jo Jo couldn't keep her big fat mouth shut.
Gordon: That would be the answer we were looking for. (DING!)
Chico: Which is HOW Jojo lost it. All she had to do was shut up. ALL SHE HAD TO DO WAS SHUT IT!
Gordon: I think even if Jojo did that, she was a goner. Danielle was no threat whatsoever.
Jason: She is the person you TAKE to the final 3.
Gordon: She has no fight and she's dead woman walking. you can get rid of her as collateral later. I agree with Jason. I bring her with me.
Chico: Okay, but Jojo out this soon?
Jason: Yeah
Chico: This was the time?
Jason: You bet your sweet a**
Gordon: Between the 2 choices? Yes.
Jason: Because a couple is stronger than a single.
Gordon: Yes, you'd get rid of Dan (which would be a plus), but you also have to cut everyone's size on the other teams. The Britney will also only have one (Shane) and that makes him vulnerable.
Chico: Let's talk about Shane being vulnerable for a moment.
Jason: Sure.
Gordon: Shane is the HOH. Wil, also planned to be a target, gets saved by Janelle, who is almost certainly going to lose a member. Shane may get knocked out next time, but this time, he's the man in charge. If Joe or Ashley win veto, then it becomes interesting to see who goes up there instead.
Jason: Joe and Ashley are up as we speak.
Chico: Speaking of couples... this could ruin Ian's chances with Ashley =p
Gordon: If Joe or Ashley win veto, then it becomes interesting to see who goes up there instead. I think Joe is clearly the designated target here.
Jason: Yes.
Chico: Indeed.
Gordon: Now moving to the house House of Morons, the real morons are the voting audience, who apparently like personality over good game play. This is why Mike is out and Gene has yet to be close to being eliminated.
Chico: Let's assume that casual viewers have turned off a long time ago and we're left with the diehards. And there are a lot of diehards. These guys are going to vote based on emotion and who they like the best, not who plays the game the best. So we're basically reduced to the reality TV version of a popularity contest.
Gordon: When it's losing to repeats of Family Feud, not as many as you think.
Chico: ... which is odd because I can't bring myself to like any of these guys.
Gordon: So Stephanie gets into trouble as a team captain - but out of trouble because her team wins the challenge. Being sent away is Joy, and Andrea, Ms. Homophobe, joins her.
Chico: Andrea comes back, I'm done. Because we're left with morons watching morons in a house.
Gordon: Well that's going to happen regardless of who comes back. Will Jeopardy make you feel better?
Jason: This was the final week of the season...or do we have even one more?
Chico: We have ONE more. It's Kids Week, but this week, we could've had something amazing happen with one Andy Baggarly. Wednesday, he could've entered the tournament with a win. All he has to do is beat Doug and Sue.
Gordon: What was Final Jeopardy?
Chico: But here's the thing... it's a close game with Sue Meloy at $15,200. Doug Thornton as $12,000, and Andy at $12,200. Final Jeopardy!... New Olympic Sports. This oughta be fun.

This sport introduced in summer 2000 played out over a raised area 16 1/2 feet long by 9 1/2 feet wide.

Jason: (locks in)
Gordon: (locks)
Chico: Jason?
Jason: What is Trampoline?
Chico: Gordon?
Gordon: What is Lindsay Lohan's Bed Wrestling?
Chico: Hey-oh!
Gordon: Hey. it's open to both males and females.
Jason: Gives a new meaning to twisting dismount? :-)
Chico: HEY-OH!
Gordon: I assume trampoline is correct?
Chico: You assume correctly.
Jason: I believe Alex returned to taping this week. for Season 29
Gordon: He did
Chico: Yep.
Jason: Glad he is feeling better. We all are.
Gordon: I personally hope that he does what he feel is the best move for him.
Chico: And he's admitted that he may stay a bit longer than he's planned.
Jason: So 30 may NOT be the end.
Chico: May not be. And speaking of things that may not be the end...



Chico: Let's talk MasterChef for a moment. First of all, it got a well-deserved renewal. And it celebrates by giving ONE contestant a chance to return to the game. All they have to do is win the front end of a special round. That is, a Mystery Box/Innovation Test. The ingredients in the Mystery Box were chosen by the field of the damned, and at the end, two survive, Ryan "The Flavor Elevator" Umane and Josh Marks.
Chico: Their challenge... a fruit tart.
Gordon: I actually like this sort of competition, where the fellow contestants vote with no idea of whose is whose.
Chico: That's right. One had a flaky crust, but one had a better selection of fruit. If you were tasting, which would you prefer?
Gordon: umm...the taste?
Jason: What G said.
Chico: ... yeah. Hard to do that on the interwebs.
Gordon: I will assume the selection of fruit will yield better results, so that.
Chico: So I'll just say that the "flakier crust" was one dimensional, while the selection of fruit yielded better results.
Jason: I agree. More fruit equals different palates.
Chico: Right. So that tart scores a 6-0 sweep. Putting... JOSH back in the competition.
Gordon: And good for him. He's a solid competitor
Chico: Yep.
Gordon: Now in terms of Hell's Kitchen, the men would love a second chance - because there's only one of them vs. 5 she-devils.
Chico: Woops. Actually, two men, FOUR she-devils. And what a surprise, both men were nominated for elimination. Probably because they were on separate teams at the time. But Brian, after one too many craphole services, gets his walking papers, leaving us with... THE BLACK TEAM. That would be the girls Barbie, Christina, Dana, and Robyn... and the guys Clemenza and Justin.
Gordon: Any ninjas on the team?
Chico: No ninjas on the team and no ninjas in America yet. Let's STL.



Chico: The hopes and dreams of 100 Americans rest in the hands of one... Brent Steffensen. One of our favorites to clear the course VERY NEARLY ALMOST DOES.
Gordon: So we have the finale of the show, where The new Las Vegas Mt. Midoriyama is waiting to be climbed for a million dollars!
Chico: Half a million.
Gordon: Close matters in horse shoes and slippery hand-held grips.
Chico: And tired arms. NOW. Brent DID do something that no other American has ever done EVER. Do you remember the Ultimate Cliffhanger?
Jason: No
Chico: Well, it's basically a series of ledges with barely an inch to grab onto.
Gordon: Yes
Chico: Gordon, please explain to Jason.
Gordon: The competitor has to traverse a series of inch wide ledges. No American has ever completed the segment of the course,
Chico: ... Until now.
Gordon: But Chico will explain why we're talking about this.
Jason: OUCH
Chico: Brent Steffensen cleared the Ultimate Cliffhanger.
Gordon: Yay! It's awesome! He's going to win all of the mo...failed on the next stunt.
Chico: BINGO. And such a way to deliver it. His arms give out on the Hang Climb. Which is essentially a rock wall upside down and angled upwards.
Jason: OUCH again.
Chico: It can be cleared, but after the Ultimate Cliffhanger? No way. But overall, a good tournament, and you can bet your last money that we'll see it, and many of its competitors again.
Gordon: Well of course we will - they didn't give out the money. And it's been a summer success for NBC.
Chico: and G4.
Gordon: But can the competitors deal with...The HAMSTER WHEEL???
Chico: And the TUBE MAZE? And the EVIL CAT?
Jason: of doom....bwahaha
Gordon: Scary. Roll That Beautiful Brain Footage

(Doug: Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)

Chico: Thank you Doug Morris. Always a good job. First up, I need... hmmm... give me the marked bat.
Jason: Which one?
Chico: The one with the dragon coming from a sea of fire.
Jason: (Hands Chico the Dragon Bat) That's impressive
Chico: A few personnel changes to announce.

One, Best Ink has a new host... Fall Out Boy leadman Pete Wentz.

Chico: I don't understand WHY Kim Caldwell didn't work... Oh well. Maybe next time.
Gordon: If you watched the series, you'd know.
Chico: I was being facetious.
Gordon: Kim went from ok ink to inked out. Sort of the same personality as ink dryng
Chico: Meanwhile, GSN announces its lineup of "Beat the chefs"...

And of course, we go with Chefs with stage presence... Beau MacMillan ("Worst Cooks in America"), Antonia Lofaso ("Top Chef"), and Jeff Henderson, who... hasn't done anything.

Chico: BTC is his first TV show. You always remember your first.
Jason: Sometimes.
Gordon: Hopefully we will be remembering it for the right reasons and not the wrong ones.
Chico: Hopefully. And finally, who remembers Dolph Lundgren? I remember him as Ivan Drago.
Jason: I do.
Chico: Gordon probably remembers him as He-Man.

He's hosting a new series on ReelzChannel called "Race to the Scene", which reminds me of Scream Play if it were on the Amazing Race. It'll bow spring 2013.

Gordon: Actually, I'd say The Next Action Hero
Chico: Okay. And finally finally... some pop singer diva just joined American Idol as a judge. :-) 

Mariah Carey. Who's heard of her. I dunno.

Jason: I dont know. She has SOME talent.
Chico: SOME range.
Jason: a LITTLE stage presence
Gordon: And as for Dolph - I know him as Gunnar Jensen from The Expendables
Chico: NICE.
Jason: Expendables 2 - August 17th. Be there.
Chico: And what's happening July 31? Gordon?
Gordon: Datebook at the ready...

July 31 is HGTV's Design Star All-Stars! Because we need more all star seasons.

Chico: More on the bane of Gordon's existence later in the broadcast, but first, let's get loaded. I've got a doubleshot
Jason: (HIC SQUARED)

First up, GSN is launching Wheel of Fortune Slots on the iPhone and Android devices. They'll be available soon at the App Store or at Google Play (formerly the Android Marketplace)

Chico: The second shot... Actually, it's kinda cool. It's something someone did on You Don't Know Jack. Here's the video.

Jason: Watching
Chico: Very nice. You meet someone at a steampunk Renaissance faire... and she's willing to play a computer game with you in the real world... Come on. You already know what to do. Be a man... Get the ring... ... and wife her.
Jason: First of all, kudos to Jellyvision and Cookie Masterson for doing that. It's nice pub for the new game BTW (cynical Gordon mode(TM). But even so...nice work.
Gordon: Very nice. And now for some work that's not as nice.

Are YOU Smarter than...Willie Hantz, who apparently isn't doing much with his free time except getting busted for DUI

Jason: DUDE... Anger and Alcohol issues? That's a serious double no-no.
Chico: And the serious, as in.... shake your head moment... Comes later as he's released. This from Russell Hantz's Twitter @russellhantz...

"Youre not famous until you have a mug shot congrats Willie @HantzBB lol"

Chico: So yeah... Way to be the big brother,
Jason: Apple not far from tree
Chico: No sir.
Gordon: You're also not famous until you get to hang out with a Zombie



Jason: AH!
Chico: yo.

So Are You Normal, as we know, gets yanked, to see the episodes burnt off on Saturday nights. So imaging the fun when after ONE episode on Saturday, the show gets yanked AGAIN.

Jason: Are You Cancelled?
Gordon: Note to GSN - you probably do NOT want to buy the rights to this show.
Chico: No. Which is a shame, because Barry Poznick wasn't bad for his first time out. As HOST that is.
Gordon: But if you did, I'll guarantee there'll be a lot of new eyeballs seeing it. And it's probably dirt cheap to purchase. That's like saying you have Famous Limousine Driver Gus Vito driving a canoe with wheels.
Chico: Basically.
Gordon: So where's Gus driving us to?

Gus is driving to India, where we prepare to see season six of their version of "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire". Amitabh Bachchan returns to host that.

Jason: And Millionaire here is auditioning for Season 11
Chico: MillionaireTV.com for more information. that way, you can become a Media Ho. Right, boys?
Gordon: That's right. Luda me.
Chico: (Luda)

In this week's Media Ho Report, The Voice may get 2 runs a year, Kelly PIckler does Maxim, Britney Spears SWEARS she's doing X-Factor to give back and not the 15 million she spent 2 months negotiating for...

Chico: Riiiiiiiiiiight.
Jason: Suuuuuuuuure

Mike Fleiss uses his Twitter to ask where his Bachelor Pad fans are, Karolina Korkova and Coco Rocha are the model judges for The Face, Sharon Osbourne SWEARS that she's not leaving America's Got Talent, despite spending a whole bunch of tweets saying she was, Simon Cowell spends $500,000 of his own money on Season 2 contestants, Toby Keith says no to Idol, and Emily Maynard SWEARS that the person she chose - Jeff - will be her new husband forever and ever and ever.

Chico: You know what THAT means.
Jason: over under 2 months?
Chico: Under
Jason: there you go
Gordon: But none of them are your hoes of the week.
Chico: Who've you got
Jason: I have an idea
Gordon: They are: Gilles Marini, Pamela Anderson, Kelly Monaco, Shawn Johnson, Melissa Rycroft, Joey Fatone, Helio Castroneves, Drew Lachey, Bristol Palin, Apolo Anton Ono, Kirstie Alley and Emmitt Smith.
Jason: Yup.
Chico: AKA the lineup of Dancing With the Stars: All-Stars. But here's the thing. Kyle Massey, Carson Kressley, and Sabrina Bryan are going to be up for vote on ABC.com. They will be the 12th fan-favorite All-Star. Voting continues until August 24.
Gordon: And those...are your hoes.
Chico: and that's Brainvision.
Jason: (shutting down)
Chico: Still to come... one word... Password. But first, Gordon?
Gordon: First up. we follow up on one of the bigger news items of the week by giving you a catalogue of our singing opinions. You're reading WLTI, you give us 22 minutes, and we'll give you 22 personalities that could liven up the BB house not named Ted. Like a pro wrestler. Or an Olympian. Or a Republican who's not winning the presidential office in 2012.
Jason: Amen to that.
Chico: We got three right here.
Jason: Don't be sure G