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Episode 23.16 - Baggage Claim
April 26
 Gordon:
Works for me. What works for you?
Chico: Babies and food. Welcome back to WLTI. Broadcasting to the universe from
the mothership... this week, babies plus food... equals Who's Your Daddy? ...
Food Show Edition.
Chico: Food Network greenlit SIX shows... We're going to put them up against
each other AND six spoilers. First up... NEXT FOOD NETWORK STAR.
Chico: Seems a good nucleus.
Gordon: It's been tainted by lying contestants and bland personalities, but it
did give us Guy Fieri.
Chico: Yay for that. *clap clap* Next...Worst Cooks in America. The first
season... wasn't too bad. I mean, you learned stuff you could use.
Gordon: Yuck. Me no likey. Bottom.
Food Star > WORST COOKS.
Chico: About right. I mean, NFNS looks inspired by comparison. Next...The Next
Iron Chef. It's NFNS times a billion.
Gordon: Its ok. a fun show. On top for now.
Chico: People with personality... people who can cook... international
intrigue... Alton Brown. =p
NEXT IRON CHEF > Food Star > Worst Cooks
Chico: Next is Cupcake Wars. It's Ultimate Cake-Off... with cupcakes... REALLY?1
Gordon: Eh. Between Food Star and Worst Cooks.
Chico: Below Worst Cooks. That averages about...
NextIronChef > FoodStar > CUPCAKE WARS > Worstcooks
Chico: ... there.
Gordon: Next one?
Chico: Next up... what happens when you judge a Food Network show long enough?
You get your own. "Chopped" regular Scott Conant hosts "24 Hour Restaurant
Battle"
Chico: It's basically "24" meets the Restaurant Wars eps of Top Chef. I'm
strangely intrigued. Above Food Network Star.
Gordon: Haven't seen the show yet, but based on the premise (Since I like
Restaurant Wars), I'll go over NFNS
NextIC > 24HR RESTAURANT BATTLE > FoodStar > CupcakeWars > WorstCooks
Chico: Final pickup... Food Trucks. Seven teams of food truck cooks travel to
try and sell the most food in each episode. Last team standing wins $50K. It's
like Amazing Race... only with food trucks. I think I'd like this more than Food
Network star, but less than the 24 hour thing.
Gordon: I don't see the Amazing Race element. More like The Apprentice Element.
But I agree with you on the placement.
NextIC > 24HrBattle > FOOD TRUCKS > FoodStar > CupcakeWars > WorstCooks.
Chico: And now your favorite part of the game... the best of the best, we call
it... THE SPOILER ROUND! First up... Iron Chef America.
Chico: It still does it for me. Top of the list.
Gordon: Up on top. Only two shows, in my mind, are better.
Chico: Is this one of them...Top Chef.
Gordon: Sure is. #1.
Chico: Boom.
Gordon: What about...Top Chef Masters
Chico: ... Below IC, honestly. I mean, you have to go through five weeks before
you get to the game, and Kelly Choi is no Padma Lakshmi.
Gordon: I agree. It's fun, but not as good as the frontrunners.
Chico: So... after the first half of the spoiler round...
TOP CHEF > IRON CHEF > TOP CHEF MASTERS > NextIC > 24HrBattle > FoodTrucks >
FoodStar > CupcakeWars > WorstCooks.
Chico: Next up... Chopped. It's Top Chef for people who live in fast forward.
Better than Masters.
Gordon: I agree. Second best show on the Food Network.
Chico: Next... Hell's Kitchen. Hmmm.... this is hard. Not as good as NextIC, I
think. Better than 24 Hour.
Gordon: It's a fun show for what it is, but it's more of a schaudenfreud value
here. Right below 24 hours
Chico: Okay. So that averages to slightly above Food Trucks. And
finally...Ultimate Recipe Showdown.
Gordon: I like it. Over Hell's Kitchen
Chico: Under Chopped. So the final lineup...
TOP CHEF > IRON CHEF > CHOPPED > TOP CHEF MASTERS > NextIC > ULTIMATE RECIPE
SHOWDOWN > 24HrBattle > HELL'S KITCHEN > FoodTrucks > FoodStar > CupcakeWars >
WorstCooks.
Chico: So Top Chef is the daddy... and Worst Cooks in America is the baby. If
you disagree, you knkow where to reach us.
Gordon: They do. Coming up next, we play with big head on small sticks. Minds.
Out of. Gutters.
(Brought to you by Game Recyclers... We take old props and put them back to
work as every day items to use... The old Any Number set? It's my new climbing
wall.)
 Chico:
And the old Temptation is now G's computer hutch.
Gordon: By The Way, kudos on the new Any Number set. Looks nice.
Chico: Very. And the numbers on display make Drew's job easier.
Gordon: They do. Sort of like Roleplaying makes our jobs easier. Start us off,
Chico. Who am I?
Chico: Okay, G-money, you're Chris Golightly...
Gordon: Idol sucks. You suck. Everyone sucks.
Chico: Answers my question! =p Let me ask it anyway. You've seen what the top 12
this year can do. Can you take any of them?
Gordon: I can beat all of them. Tim Urban, Mr. Smiley. Go make a toothpaste
commercial. He came in 7th and I was better. None of them have any talent and
they are all raw. I am money. I signed a contract so I have more performance
experience.
Chico: So you could take Crystal to school then.
Gordon: I would have wasted all of them, and it would have been Crystal Vs.
Chris. I would have won the whole thing.
Chico: But it wouldn't change the fact that you're a putz.
Gordon: Hey that's not y fault. My lawyer screwed it up. I'm living in a car
with Josiah Leming. Got a dime for a danish?
Chico: No.
Gordon: Well poo on you then
Chico: Next up?
Gordon: Next one. Chico, you are...
Gordon: Shayne Lamas.
Chico: Tee hee1
Gordon: You were engaged to The Bachelor's Matt Grant, but you now just married
Nik Richie, who's the leader of TheDirty.com, which is a website that goes after
gorgeous women and drunk partygoers. This after a day of courtship. How long is
this going to last?
Chico: Until my next bender, I think... I think I'm one on right now1 I LOVE
YOU, NIK! Am I on TV?
Gordon: Yes. You're on TV. The show is called Baggage. What's in your briefcase?
Chico: I was on the Bachelor... what was the question again... you're hot. =p
Gordon: Let's change the subject before we both get sued. Who am I?
Chico: You are Lamorne Norris. Cartoon Network released its upfront, and
BrainRush, which you are the host of, ain't on it. Thoughts?
Gordon: I don't get it. This was a fun trivia show with kids playing on a roller
coaster. Everyone likes kids. The trivia was fun. WHat happened?
Chico: Well, maybe if there were some different coasters. Or different
parks...Instead of the same. Three. Rides. Every. Episode.
Chico: I liked the series. I thought it could work. But again... Same. Three.
Rides. Every. Episode.
Gordon: It's not may fault. I didn't create the coasters. You have the Cash Cab
go down the same streets. What's wrong with that? Same Cab. Every. Episode.
Chico: They're going to different places!
Chico: And besides... It's New York city... You don't say no to New York City.
Gordon: So maybe if we did the show in Rye Playland it would be better?
Chico: ... Maybe Dorney Park
Gordon: Great Adventure?
Chico: Which one? Six Flags or California's? Or if you want to go East... Kings
Dominion is about to unleash the Intimidator 305. Look it up if you dare.
Gordon: I will, if a company wanted to give me a budget for season 2.
Chico: Aww. We'll make some calls. Next?
Gordon: Next one...Chico, you are...The Joker on Minute To Win It's 'Don't Blow
the joker'. There are videos that show how to complete the stunt successfully.
Chico: My head still hurts.
Gordon: How do you feel about this?
Chico: Anything to stop the bleeding. I mean, have you seen people do this? It's
.... It's just barbaric. I've fallen so many times. My doctor says if I take any
more hits to my head, I'll end up a crazy 8.
Gordon: But I thought you like getting blown.
Chico: Not when it knocks me off my feet. IT'S VERY PAINFUL!
Gordon: You know, if I was being blown left and right, I'd consider it fun.
Chico: Aaaaand there goes the rating. Next up...Gordon, you're a toothbrush.
Gordon: Don't forget me.
Chico: I won't. And neither will the creators of "Don't Forget Your Toothbrush",
who're looking to bring you back for another US run. You think this'll last
longer than the last run?
Gordon: Nope. I have too much of a negative connotation now. I was dirtied in
both Big Brother and The Real World. And who wants a vacation anymorw? Americans
want cold hard cash.
Chico: Now now, vacations can be fun.
Gordon: They can be. But this is 2010, with 18% unemployment. Who can afford to
take a vacation now?
Chico: ... People who save up for a couple of years maybe =p
Gordon: You've won a trip to Tenafly. How did you like it?
Chico: Quaint little town next to a big honking city. What's not to love? Check
out the diner.
Gordon: The diner is nice. Lots of food that people can use me for.
Chico: And don't forget to floss either. Last up?
Gordon: Last one. Chico, you are...your sister, Quisla Alexander.
Chico: Oh god. She's going to get a kick out of this.
Gordon: Project Runway just ended, and Seth Aaron won it. Now Quisla has hated
Gordon and Chico for trashing last season. What do you have to say to them about
this past season?
Chico: You guys didn't talk as much about it as I would like...I'm kinda pissed
off about that. I mean, It's just as dramatic as your Survivor or your
Idol...especially the reunion show. WHAT A BITCHFEST!
Gordon: What would you like to make this better?
Chico: Just... SAY SOMETHING! Anything. Give me what you thought about it... the
season.. the butt dress.. anything.
Gordon: I liked the butt dress.
Chico: I bet you did, you sicko.
Gordon: That's me. Mr. Sicko.
Chico: Okay, Mr. Sicko, throw us to break.
Gordon: We break and then we try to make Quisla happy - next!
(Brought to you by Remixers... Anyone can write a song - hell, even Chico &
Gordon - but who has what it takes to turn it into a club banger?)
Chico: You know a few who can do that, right?
Gordon: Like me? (Scratches on turntable)
Chico: Word Bust me a Speed Round, Yo.
Gordon: Let's get on with the Speed Round...NOW! Idol: Who's leaving?
Chico: I still think Aaron's the ... backrunner?
Gordon: He may be, but I'm going to say Michael in a shocker. Again. Survivor:
Who's next to go?
Chico: I'm going with Amanda. Sandra may split, but it won't make a lick of
difference.
Gordon: I agree. i think Amanda will be targeted by everyone. Dancing With the
Stars: America's Nightmare is over as They give back Kate Gosselin. Who's next?
Chico: I think Chad Ochocinco's been through enough.
Cordon: I'm going to be different and go with Jake Pavelka in another shocker.
Chico: And the Race is down to four... Who won't make the final leg?
Gordon: I think the detectives will find the exit.
Chico: There you go. Any mail?
Gordon: None from me. you?
Chico: I got some from Jason Block...
TO: WLTI
FROM: Jason Block
TPIR Earth Day - Much Better than last year for two
reasons. One, they weren't preachy (thank you Ed Begley, Jr.) and two...THE
TESLA. The Tesla was nuclear hot. For those who don't know, it is an
ALL-ELECTRIC sports car built on the Lotus Elise chassis. The technology
isn't perfect yet, but wow. Just wow. And as for the right hand Bentley win
the day before, great win...but what are you going to do with a RIGHT HAND
drive car in the US?
SURVIVOR - I think Parvati OVERPLAYED her hand by ONE IDOL. If she played
one, and went with Jerri it would have made more sense. To add Sandra was a
bit of hubris. Now Russell and everyone else knows she is the power player
and put the target on her back. It was an amazing thing to see, and to
watch, but I don't know if it was the right move overall.
IDOL - You know my thoughts on Idol gives Back. I thought it was another
example of the exploitation of poor people of allcolorsto assuage the
liberal celebrities guilt for making boatloads of money. But as for the show
itself, I had the bottom three correctly of Aaron, Tim and Casey. I
misjudged Tim over Casey. Shania Twain's music will help Casey, Crystal, and
Lee. Siobhan, Michael and Aaron all will have problems this week.
BAGGAGE - A Better show than it should be. The concept is VERY VERY simple.
The execution is brilliant. This is the perfect show for Jerry. He is SO
good and smooth here. But the problem I have with the show isn't the concept
or the material, it's the time slot. This is NOT a 6:30 or 9:30 show. Right
now it is the right partner for Newlywed, but I would like to see it on
later with a little bit more envelope. This is the best thing GSN has put on
in a while, and this has nothing to do with the craptacular stuff they have
put out so far. (Grade: B)
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Gordon: Hey look! It's a Block Party column ion
our show :P
Chico: Isn't that every week? =p
Gordon: True. Anything else?
Chico: Nope. But thanks to Jason Block for hanging out with us... if only for
one letter. Hey, it's something. And if you want to give us something, what do
they have to do?
Gordon: If you want to send us mail, send it to us at wlti@gameshownewsnet.com,
or find us on YouTube, Facebook or MySpace.
Chico: Bingo. Back next week with more of that goooooood stuff.
Gordon: Before we end it - what will you be watching?
Chico: Millionaire's back on... I'll give that a tune.
Gordon: I won't be watching the NHL Playoffs. No Devils left. No Hurricanes
left. Boring.
Chico: Well, I'm sure we'll pull for somebody. Until then, for Gordon and
everyone at GSNN, I'm Chico Alexander... Game Over... and spread the love.
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