Episode 29.9 - Fight Night
March 12

Chico: Don't give GSN any ideas!
Gordon: ...sorry.
Chico: Welcome back to the big show. Thanks for being a part of our week and allowing our week to be a part of you. Now comes an oldie but a goodie.
Chico: We're gonna do some Roleplay.
Jason: woo hoo
Chico: And we'll start with you, G.
Gordon: Who am I?
Chico: Gordon, you are Cheryl Bloom...

You had the right letters in a Wheel Million Dollar Bonus. The solution was given to you on a silver platter. But you became LIVING PROOF that anything can happen on the show. So... What happened?

Gordon: Well you see I am a very nice housewife. I belive in loving brooms.
Chico: Don't tell me you like that meme with the broom that stands on its own..
Gordon: ...Hey! Let's talk about something else!
Jason: Like what?
Gordon: Like Jason...
Jason: uh oh
Gordon: You are...

Steven Tyler. You've seen the women of Idol on Week #1. How do you think they did?

Chico: Here we go..
Jason: Like chunky on a monkey. Like ice cream on a sundae. It was like buttah. I think there were at least two women that I think I can hit...I mean I think who can win
Chico: Was it the hip to your hop, the flip to your flop, the skip, skop, scoobity bop?
Jason: Exactly. Jessica did really really good.
Jason: So did Skylar
Chico: I liked Hallie, myself.
Gordon: What about complaints that you be be flopping on some woman's flip?
Jason: I could flop on a woman's flip, without having the daughter's daddy lop off my flip
Chico: And at 63, it would probably never flip again. Okay, Gordon, me next.
Gordon: Chico. you are...

Bob the trainer on the Biggest Loser. Your show has the lowest ratings ever, and much of that is because your contestants this season are a bunch of brats. how are you dealing with them?

Chico: I'm dialing back my inner Jmmlimmm...I'm not allowed by law to say that name. But I'm basically thinking... what would.... she.. do.
Gordon: What WOULD she do?
Chico: Yell a lot and play reverse psychology.
Jason: I would take away their blankies and milk and cookies.
Chico: We do that already. We don't mess around. But you can't doubt it works. We're just getting old in the tooth.
Gordon: And what if they walk off the set?
Chico: If they walk off, they're failing us, but more than that, they're failing themselves. They even think about "walking off", then they were there for the wrong reasonsand they probably would've failed anyway.
Gordon: As says Bob. Next one?
Chico: Jason...
Jason: Uh oh...
Chico: You are... the Price Is Right Clock on the Wall.
Jason: Tick, Tock

You're a cute little clock there... But some people would have us believe otherwise.

Chico: So how can you win over the haters?
Jason: Because I am...what is known in the biz as...a joke! An expression! Those young people who don't know of it have to look it up. Drew is what? 50?
I think I am nice. I wave my arms. I have a nice dial
Chico: And your face ain't too bad.
Jason: Thank you. I have had work done. My movement was tightened.
Chico: And to complain about it for the sake of complaining... pointless.
Jason: Exactly. You know...they have too much time on their hands. :-)
Chico: So says the clock. You have nothing BUT time.
Jason: Except one less hour.
Gordon: Chico, you have one for me?
Chico: Gordon... You are the folder of sheet music from the 70s era Name That Tune. You know, "The $100,000 Song".
Jason: The vault of music

FremantleMedia is looking to sell you off to the highest bid-a-note, but it's going to take more than a melody roulette to get a buyer. So what do you and your show have to do to make this medley a little more golden? Did I fit enough puns in there?

Gordon: I'm taking notes as we speak.
Jason: GROAN
Chico: Well stay out of treble and answer the question. Who would you put on your staff?
Gordon: I first try to get Endemol into the Mix. They would be a good duet partner. Then I look to see if Joey Fatone or some other crooner would fall into step. Finally, I would test the syndication market for a number one hit. It worked with Family Feud and this ain't no dueling banjos.
Chico: Way to make it sing, man. That's quite an arrangement.
Jason: Its a Melody of Love
Gordon: Speaking of which, and finally....Chico...
Chico: I knew it.
Gordon: And Jason...
Jason: Oh?

Chico, you are Survivor Colton. Jason, you are American Idol Colton. You are both competing on the new game show'The Job'. The position is: Reality contestant of the year. Tell me why you should get the job.

Chico: I should get the job... becauseimevil. Aaaaaaandcauseimakethecrazymetaphor. Everyone loves to hate me. And I have game.
Jason: I am the most emo contestant ever. I sing slowly and cutely. The girls love me and my hair. See the stripe?
Chico: Yeah I see the stripe. James Durbin called, he was his stripe back.
Jason: And the 1980s called...he wants the polo shirt back...and Green?
Chico: Yeah, green's the color of money. It's the color of go. As in it's go time.
Jason: Go where? I am going to win a contest and sing my way to stardom.
Chico: Sure you will. I know a few chicks who think otherwise. And I'm guessing because Jason Block loves you so much, you screwed.
Gordon: (Phone rings) Hello....yeah...you got Ben Flajnik for the job? You say he's not going to be doing anything after Monday? Not even a promo tour? Cool, thanks. (Hangs up phone) Ok guys, don't call us, we'll call you.
Chico: Eh, your loss.
Jason: Please. His hair gets more twitter followers than you.
Chico: Alrighty. Speaking of, good to throw in that our twitter is at @wltiongsnn. Anything for a tweet. What's coming up, G?
Gordon: Next up, we zing for a song. That comes up - right after this!

(Brought to you by the Legchelorette. 25 men are looking for the love of a very special woman.....'s right leg. But will Angelina approve?)

Jason: LOL
Chico: .. I want to protect her heart... and her knee.
Gordon: Of course she would. And it's time for more Zingers. What's My Zinger? We start with...

Jeremy Rosado was the first person booted from American Idol.

Jason: He was...nobody noticed. And no one will care.
Gordon: He's gone back to his office where the rest of his staff will soon find themselves ill.
Chico: He goes back to the front desk at a medical office, where he hopes that his huming is a little more infectious.
Jason: I am rusty. Those were good.
Chico: Next up...

It's the return of the Super Deal on Let's Make a Deal. If you trade right, you could win another $50,000.

Chico: And if you trade wrong, you're going to get a trip back to your seat.
Gordon: And if you don't, you'll wind up being the front runner of the Republican Nominee for President.
Jason: And if you trade wrong, you can be as successful in budgeting and spending as Congress!
Chico: Next?
Gordon: Next one...

In Britain, Game Shows that feature no skill whatsosever, are considered 'gambling' and could be forced off the air.

Chico: And I was just enjoying Take Me Out, too.
Jason: This for people who think Red or Black was too complicated.
Gordon: In other news, there was a petition to get the Weather Forecasts off the air, as the Weathermen have been just as accurate as a crap shoot.
Chico: Especially in North Carolina. Where the weather changes every 20 minutes.
Jason: So in Indiana
Gordon: Next one?
Chico: Next one!

Millionaire featured a contestant who owns, get this... her own confetti gun.

Jason: And as she leaves she says" Sorry for Party Rockin"
Chico: In a related story, membership to the Rip Taylor Fan Club has hit an all time high.
Gordon: She was trying out as the entertainment for the New York Mets, because that's going to be the only thing entertaining at Shea Stadium this year.
Jason: You aint kidding, G.
Chico: Womp womp. Next?
Gordon: Last one...

Britney Spears turns down $10 million to be a judge on X Factor

Chico: She's holding out for more X's.
Jason: That advice from Paula Abdul is working wonders :-)
Gordon: She's working on a new sequel from Chaotic called 'Moronic'.
Chico: And Simon Cowell will produce.
Jason: Oh yes.
Gordon: And I hear he's producing this new ad. Wanna see?
Jason: I think that means its time for a break. Sure.
Chico: Sure. Why not. Speed Round is next.

(Brought to you by Kentucky Fried Tarheels: Spring break Edition! We know you've always wanted to go to Florida, so try some Sesame Seminole Dressing! Made with the finest in Asian ingredients, and perfect to bring with you to Florida or Indianapolis, as the Tarheels probably won't get there. That's Kentucky Fried Tarheels. Ramses done right!)

Jason: Whoooooo
Chico: They played like that WITHOUT John Henson. Imagine what happens if he's healthy. Meanwhile your Dookies have a hard road map to New Orleans for a change.
Jason: They ain't my dookies :-)
Chico: Ain't mine either. I'm talking about ABC Gordon over there.
Jason: They are not that good. They really aren't.
Chico: I'm guessing third round flameout if not sooner.
Gordon: You see, I went to TCNJ, so I root for Duke because A. Coach K gave me a nice tie and B. Chico roots fervently for the Tarheels.
Chico: and 3) Gordon's from JERSEY. :-)
Gordon: Correct. So you see, though it would be nice for Duke to win, it would be satisfying if UNC LOSES.
Jason: Not going to happen until the final four...maybe
Chico: Unless he plays his brackets, then he's going to give me the business and the Traitor Tots (see last year's GSNN Board of Truth) Meanwhile, time to speed it up. Survivor. It's a tribal switching time. Does Colton survive the switch?
Gordon: If I'm smart, no.
Jason: And Gordon is right.
Chico: How about Kat?
Jason: Depends on the challenge and the tribe
Chico: Fair enough. Now that Jeremy's out on Idol, who's next?
Jason: I see a woman...Shannon
Chico: Yep
Jason: With the year they are born...anything can happen
Chico: From a week of rising to the challenge to a week of slinking back to your comfort zone.
Jason: Exactly.
Gordon: I think we're going to see a parade of women leaving. Shannon can start it up.
Chico: A walk of shame, if you will.
Gordon: Do we have any mail?
Chico: Not this week.
Gordon: How can they submit it?
Chico: They can go to their email thing and send us some love at wlti@gameshownewsnet.com... and hey, did we mention we're on Twitter? We're on that thing ALL the time.
Jason: @wltiongsnn. Justin Hofstetter knows us.
Chico: And thanks to Jason Block for that factoid and the many others he provided us this week.
Jason: No problem. Always fun :-)
Chico: Next week, we get to talk about GSN again. And we promise we'll be civil for at least 30 seconds.
Jason: We are good like that.
Chico: We try anyway. Until then, for Gordon Pepper and everyone at GSNN, i'm Chico Alexander... game over... and spread the love! :-)