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GSNN
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Previous Episodes May 27 June 3 June 10 (1) June 10 (2) June 17 June 244 |
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24 people, $50,000. Only thing that separates the two are pain, humiliation, and a bunch of ruthless obstacles. Recaps by Chico Alexander, GSNN
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Episode 2.7 We have a master of the Balls... but he's going to need more than just a brash attitude to take down 23 of his fellow men and women for a shot at $50,000 in the Wipeout Zone. Is he all talk or can he show the Big Balls what's what? Let's find out in the Wipeout Qualifier...
We start at the top with the Spiked Fenders, which are like the Fender Benders... with spikes on the. Then it's off to the Sucker Punch, followed by the Big Balls and their bestie, the Motivator... then it's off to the Trampoline Hurtles, and finally to the Zipline Swing, where you'll have to hang on... drop out.. and hope to not go swimming. Fastest 12 times will advance to the next stage. First up, Mark Saldana, who has a blue soul patch, a blue shirt, and blue jeans... He becomes black and blue rather quickly. And thanks to a showing in the Spiked Fenders, Mark's patch is now a little brown with mud. "Soul Man" gets a bath at last and zips in at a time of 4:38. Next is Valerie Barrera.... our 500th contestant on Wipeout! She wins a free trip to the Big Balls! And I hope you enjoy yourself. Next is Mona Mahani, who thinks she's #500. She's actually... 501. David Farner has no tolerance for pain. Good thing to have when meeting up with the Spiked Fenders and the Suckerpunch. Mud seems to be on the diet of many contestants today. Meanwhile Teri Lathrop, a 42-year-old military mom who is very hard on her kids... And the Spiked Fenders are very hard on her. Over at the Trampoline Hurtles, Ty Holloway is a woman who has money on her mind... but it's more like a price on her head. Michael Chao... loves Jill... everyone does. Apparently he's a cheeky little monkey. Next is Constantin Ciorgariu, a blood banker from Transylvania. He loves neck. He hates sunlight... and the Trampoline Hurtles. He can't fly on the Swing, clocking in at 4:12.7... and looking a little pale. The second half of the Qualifier begins with Shannon Stotz, who knows she's going to win. She's ALWAYS won. She's a winner. She hasn't won this yet. But she takes a really good start on the Fenders and... never mind. Magician Anton Riniti lands the swing and makes his momentum disappear. Seems like that last step was a doozy for everyone. Does Donovan Eberling have a shot at it? He.. doesn't sing, but he swings... and misses. Ow. 2:51 his final time. "This looks like a job for an old guy!" That would be 58-year-old traffic cop Terry Smith. He goes from hero to zero... and he's the first ever to survive the Motivator to CLEAR the Big Balls! He clocks in a great time of 3:51, which is enough to give him a spot in the next stage. ADVANCING TO ROUND 2 Time to Gyro Sweep the field to six...
And today, it's a hybrid edition with magic amazingly distracting fingers on top as well. Last person standing wins $1000. Last six go to the next stage. And Michael gives us a little kiss first. Terry wipes out first, followed by Craig and Constantin and Brittany. Now it's time to Gyro... and Mooning Michael gets mooned. Mona #501 thinks she's moving on... she ISN'T. Now it's a battle for the $1000. Chili Bean Robert and Military Mom Teri get knocked out. Soul Man Mark is next. Shannon the Winner loses... and so does Donovan. Valerie #500 wins $1000. ADVANCING TO ROUND 3 Now to go from six to four... And today, we have the Slippery Course for Stage 3.
Starting at the Slick Slide, then heading to the Branch in the Face. Then it's onto one of TWO obstacles. First and third heats will feature the Bouncy Beam. The beam will bounce, but the Sweeper Arms will remain stationary. That's not good. Second and fourth heats will have the Slippery Wall, And this week, it also features treacherous triangles. Then it's onto the Spinner, where the first person to perch themselves atop will win a spot in the Wipeout Zone. First heat begins with Soul Man taking a quick lead, but he gets kneed by Choirboy... who gets swept out to sea. Shannon gets past the beam first, but Teri is right behind her. Who'll be first? It's... DONOVAN? Yep. He's on his way to the Wipeout Zone! Second heat begins with Soul Man taking a quick lead, but no one is getting past the triangles, but Shannon makes a great go at it, but she's getting tailed by Valerie... SHANNON cheers her way to the Wipeout Zone. Third heat begins with Soul Man taking a quick lead, but he takes another hit to the system. Teri takes the beam first, followed by Mark... and he... is on top! But we have a development. Teri separates his shoulder, meaning she will not continue, so Heat 4 will be Chili Bean vs. 500. And the winner... walking through an open door... VALERIE. ADVANCING TO THE
WIPEOUT ZONE But those last three courses were NOTHING compared to this... it's the WIPEOUT ZONE!
We start with the Catapult, followed by the Gears of Doom. Remember, they can take a penalty. Then it's on to the Scary-Go-Round with a curtain this week. Then the Piston Punch, the Gazebo Turntable, and the Drop Bridge. Together, they're called the Gauntlet. Fastest time wins the $50,000. First up is #500, Valerie Barrera, who has had a phenomenal run up to this point. Beautiful entry into the Wipeout Zone. Over at the Gears of Doom... but timing is off in the third gear. She tries again... and wipes out again. PENALTY. She goes to the Scary-Go-Round... and runs straight into the water. She's better timed second time round. Now to the Gauntlet. She has great balance... and clocks in at 12:50.16. Next is Mark... and the Soul Man times out. Then comes the Choirboy... who makes EXCELLENT time in the Wipeout Zone for a time of 7:32.32, meaning that #500 gets 86ed. Finally, can the winner pull it off? Here comes Shannon... and she times out. The winner loses... and Choirboy Donovan Eberling wins $50,000! Next time, another 24 obstacles... another four stages... and another endless barrage of Wipeouts. Until then, good night... and Big Balls. To view this episode in its entirety or to apply to be a contestant on "Wipeout", go to ABC.com, Keyword: Wipeout. |
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