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GSNN
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Previous Episodes May 27 June 3 June 10 (1) June 10 (2) June 17 |
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24 people, $50,000. Only thing that separates the two are pain, humiliation, and a bunch of ruthless obstacles. Recaps by Chico Alexander, GSNN
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Episode 2.6 The stage is set. The course is ready and so are 24 willing Americans ready to do anything.... and we do mean ANYTHING for $50,000. One of them WILL win the money. The others... will WIPEOUT. We always start with the Wipeout Qualifier.... and today will be no exception. Today, though... we're seeing stars as Wipeout goes Hollywood.
We're doing it Hollywood, so we need a red carpet. Ours is called the Rug Pull. Then it's on to our version of the paparazzi called the Sucker Punch. Then comes the star of the movie the Big Balls and his agent the Motivator. Then you can't make it in Hollywood without going through a few Hurtles... or Hoops... Luckily, we're covering our bases with both. And finally, we arrive on the set of the new movie "Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs" with an Ice Age themed Icy Swing. Fastest 12 will move on to Stage 2. First up is Jeff Sands, who, because his kids are watching, can't bring himself to say "he's going to kick some butt". G-Rated Jeff doesn't have to. The course does all the talking for him as he clocks in a time of 3:54. Next is Steven Lara, who has brows for days... and a free browlift courtesy of the Big Balls. Jason Sandeman loves watching TV... and hates rug burn. He's not the only one. Paul Woo Hoogenstyn and Ravyn Williams hate the rug as well. Chicago Ravyn... also not fond of the Big Balls. Next is... Britney Spears? Nope, it's Kiley Speakman, a Britney look-alike. She gets kissed like she was with Madonna. Next is Patrick Davis, who is getting ready for the show... or is HE the show. He's a Neil Diamond fan... who runs the wrong way. And Oh, Sweet Caroline does he get a fistful of Sucker Punch. And the hits just keep on coming as he clocks in at 6:18. Not a good time for him. Walter Prescott opens up the second half of the Movie Qualifier. He knows what's about to happen, so he's prepared to scream like a girl. And he doesn't disappoint one damn bit. And he gives us a little cracktion as he finally makes a time of... well, it doesn't matter. Kellie Auld is next, and she gets the pigtail knocked out of her. Jessica Evers is an accountant who gets her bean counted... multiple times. Jose Valdepena is a campus cop... and unarmed campus cop. He gets cited by the Big Balls. Self proclaimed dork Janica Polmanteer has a strategy... gunshow. Dork. She pauses... jumps.... swims. Time of 3:26 is the best time so far. Finally, Tanisha Strotter needs to beat a time of 6 minutes even to advance. Even with the Motivator... it doesn't happen. ADVANCING TO ROUND 2 Next up's out good friend the Sweeper.
And today, he's got a mace attached. Remember, last one standing wins $1000 extra. Starting the Sweeper. Cory's the first one off... And Kellie and Paul Woo Hoo go boo-hoo. Ravyn gets the medieval treatment. Eli gets knocked, and so does Jessica... and it's BONUS time! Let's get the money. No money for G-Rated Jeff... or Britney... or Browlicious... or Campus Copper.... or the Revenge of the Nerd. Jason pockets a grand... ADVANCING TO ROUND 3 Now we're heading to Stage 3, which brings out an old dear friend, companion, and trial of endurance...
The Rocket! Contestants will have to stay on the Rocket for as long as possible. But it'll be bucking... rotating... and flying 15 feet into the air with a galaxy's worth of planets around. And this time out, Skunk Boy will be dropping in from time to time to shower the players with his love... ly cannon. First up is sexy dork Janica. She gets kicked in Uranus for a time of 52 seconds. TV Junkie Jason goes on a Star Trek, but the Voyager ends up with an Enterprising 52 seconds in Deep Space Nine. Stargate SG-1. All eyes on Kiley in the center of the ring just like a Circus.. Too bad the Womanizer goes "Oops, I Did It Again" ends up clocking in at a Toxic 36.87 seconds. Stargate SG-1. That means that Jason is already in the Wipeout Zone. Who'll follow him. Jose? Yes way, Jose. He gets a time of 1:04. G-Rated Jeff is next. He gets to play on the big boy ride, and he does so with 44.69. That means that Kiley's time on Wipeout is going to go the way of K-Fed's career... ... But now HE's on the bubble against Browlicious Steven. ... and he's in. ADVANCING TO WIPEOUT ZONE And tonight's Wipeout Zone promises to be anything but simple, because in addition to all of the familiar obstacles...
We've equipped teeth on everything! Teeth on the Gauntlet (wth a new obstacle, the Blades of Fury), Teeth on the Gears of Doom, Teeth on the Scary Go Round... No teeth on the Catapult. That would just be evil. And we're all about love here. And to make things even more fun... we have water cannons. First is Jason. He takes the time penalty on the Gears and yanks the tooth off the Scary Go Round... Too bad the water jets nail him. He nails the rest of the course with a time of 17:26.23. Janica is next on deck. She clears the Gears easily, but she loses a tooth in the Scary Go Round. "Seriously!" Yeah. She's on pace to beat Jason's time, but she gets hit hard by the pistons... and the blades... and the drop bridge. She clocks in at 17:26.13, leading by a HAIR. Steven will have to beat that by a hefty margin to stand a chance. He enters the Wipeout Zone a little haphazardly. Third time lucky on the Gears? Nope. He takes a penalty. And he calls it quits at the Scary Go Round. "It's TIME!" That's what Jose says. But will his time be enough to beat HER time? He moves on. That may or may not cost him. If that doesn't, then the Gauntlet MIGHT. He has one minute for another go... He's pulling himself up for one more push... And... DONE IT! With 17 flat, Jose Valdepena wins $50,000! The campus cop imprisons the competition. But what will the next course have in store? More Wipeouts, of course! Until then... Good night... and Big Balls. To view this episode in its entirety or to apply to be a contestant on "Wipeout", go to ABC.com, Keyword: Wipeout. |
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