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GSNN
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Previous Episodes May 27 June 3 |
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24 people, $50,000. Only thing that separates the two are pain, humiliation, and a bunch of ruthless obstacles. Recaps by Chico Alexander, GSNN
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Episode 2.3 The stage is set, the obstacles are in play, and the balls are... well, big. All we need now are 24 people who are brave enough - or perhaps foolish enough, to take on these bad boys. We start as always with the Wipeout Qualifier.
First up, giant bananas called the Banana Hammocks, then over to the Sucker Punch, then over to the Big Balls equipped with the motivator switch. Take too long, and it'll do the dirty work for you. Then it's onto the Trampoline Hurtles. Survive that, and you'll make it to your final obstacle, the Foamy Sidewalk Swing with a zipline. Marina Furlan is first, and she's a Muay Thai fighter. She takes a spill on the banana peels. They're known for being slick. Now how will she do against a bunch of flying fists of fury? She's been downgraded from black belt to brown belt. She has some serious kung fu grip. Next is Kassy Diaz. She wants to invest in a pudding company. Right now, she's got a face full of pudding. Model Nikki Hoard is getting a mudbath at the Banana Hammocks. Chuck Trout, a toy tester. He gets played with on the Super Punch. As for the Big Balls... Good job. Donn Hallman is a band director, and the Hurtles knock the woodwind out of him. Andrew Nienu is a tiny dancer, and he does the robot... all over the swings, this week's Wipeout killer.. Rodney Hooten has a mullet and is not afraid to use it. He does.. and gets punished by the bananas. Mullet in the mud. Big Balls time and...head first dive. He clocks in at 4:04, a great time. Next is Phil Pelligrini, here to make fat and bald look good. He puts the pain in "plantain". Now that's what we call a banana split. It doesn't get any prettier. He loses his hat and flails on the Hurtles. He locks in at 6:26. Joe Dycus is next... getting the wind knocked out of him. And into him... and out of him. Meanwhile Shana Duke lollygags around the Big Balls. That makes her a lollygagger. Guess what that means. It's time to Motivate! Matt Ordway has to start working out. They call him "Fat Matt". He's here for the churck, clocking in a hold time of 3:26. Farm girl Christine Jones is next. ... Sure is. Finally, Insane Shane Hartgrave says he should be tested. He's about to. On the big red balls... and... FAIL. On the Trampoline Hurtles, Insane Shane.. make it! And also on the swing!... Err.. .never mind. He's through, though, and these people are joining him. ADVANCING TO ROUND 2 Next up, it's the Sweeper. ROUND 2. Today, it's...
The good old fashioned Sweeper, kicking it season 1 style. Remember, last one standing wins $1000 extra. First off are Ian and Carrie, followed by Nikki... and Kassy... and Mulletman... and three at once, Christine's out, but Fatt Matt and Donn. The last two will return for stage three, but no grand. Andrew also out. Joe gets knocked, leaving Chuck and Insane Shane. And down goes Insane Shane. Chuck is the last man standing for $1000. Stage 3... Sausage fest. ADVANCING TO ROUND 3 Next up, it's the Rocket for round 3...
Contestants will have to stay on the Rocket for as long as possible. But it'll be bucking... rotating... and flying 15 feet into the air with a galaxy's worth of planets around. Oh, and did we mention meteor showers? First is Joe Dycus. So far, we've bucked him seriously... Now he's got the weight of the world on his shoulders. Next is a shower or two... He clocks in a time at 59.82. Not bad. Next up is Chuck Trout. It's just like testing a toy, but it's big... and it's lethal... Chuck clocks in 1:04. We repair the rocket that Chuck ripped and get Insane Shane on it. He goes 46.94 seconds into the ride. Chuck's in the Zone. Next is Andrew Nienu, who goes Dancing with the Stars... and the planets... and the meteors... He gets a time of 54.04. Joe and Chuck are into the Wipeout Zone. Next is Donn... who's panicked over the height. He... gives the signal. He's quitting, sending Andrew to the Wipeout Zone. Finally, it's Fat Matt. He needs to last 46 seconds... He lasts... 37.35 seconds. It's Insane Shane! ADVANCING TO THE WIPEOUT ZONE And now, the moment you've been waiting for... THE WIPEOUT ZONE!
And today, it's covered in foam. We start with the foamy Catapult, followed by the foamy Gears of foamy Doom, followed by the foamy Scary Go-Round, and finally, the foamy Gauntlet. Fastest time wins $50,000. But you knew that. First is Toy Tester Chuck Trout. He already has $1000 in his pocket. Can he make $50,000 more? Not with that performance on the Gears. Chuck takes a time penalty. He makes short work of the Scary Go Round, now it's about the Piston Punch, the Bumper Bally Turntable, and the Drop Bridge... Final time... 8:49. Nice and solid. Will it hold up against Insane Shane? He ill-times his jump in the Gears of Doom, so he takes a time penalty. He missteps on the Scary Go Round... and now the clock's working against him... He makes it to the Gauntlet.. but has 25 seconds to finish it. And he... doesn't. DQ. Next is Andrew Nienu, Tiny Dancer at 5'2". He wants the 50 Gs... Not a good entry into the Wipeout Zone. He's really struggling into the Gears of Doom. He takes the time penalty. Scary Go-Round is next... and missed the timing AND the footing. He just can't pull this off... DQ on time. So it'll be either the toy tester or the Rebellious Husband Joe Dycus. Time to beat is 8:49. Decent landing into the Zone. Onto the Gears... and two times not lucky. He too takes a penalty. Scary Go-Round... and Joe takes it head long... and the foam just slips him up at the end. He has less than a minute to complete the course. He makes it to the Gauntlet, but can he finish in 30 seconds? It's going to be close... and NO! Chuck Trout set the pace and earns a $50,000 payday, giving him a total of $51,000! But don't go anywhere yet, because we have ANOTHER set of 24 people locked, loaded, and ready to wipeout in the name of profit.. .Launch it, ABC! CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE To view this episode in its entirety or to apply to be a contestant on "Wipeout", go to ABC.com, Keyword: Wipeout. |
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