Game Show NewsNet - Survivor Guatemala

"Crocs, Cowboys and City Slickers: Days 12-14" - October 13

DAY 12: PRAISE THE LORD AND PASS THE BEETLES

Sunrise. Blake is in a state of calm all alone. Well,...alone except for the cameraman...and the croc swimming in the lake. He thinks he has a pretty good chance with this tribe, what with there being three other ex-Nakums in the fold. And he knows that Gary, Brian and Amy know they are marks for elimination.

Now remember how "tough" Amy was when she discovered the Nakums in her tribe? Well, she pulls a 180 and screwams like a little girl when a beetle shows up. And, of course, her tribemates have to rib her about it. Brandon is not sure about being with a "city slicker" like Amy. But at least she has an interest in his crops. Wheat, milo and soy fascinates her, as well as everyone else.

Well, not QUITE everyone. Brian is a LITTLE uncomfortable being a "red-state" man in with a bunch of "hicks". Worse is that the tribe is rather religious, saying grace and praying before each Challenge. But he'll be darned if he's gonna reveal his agnostic beliefs to the tribe. That's pretty much a ticket off the island!

REWARD CHALLENGE: HITCH YOUR WAGON

Challenge Beach beckons us yet again. And we get to see Nakum sans Brooke. Uncle Jeff seems SHOCKED to hear of crocs in what he called "croc-infested waters" at the START. Ah, well...on to the Reward Challenge.

This Challenge is in stations. At the first, a tribe member will cut through two ropes with a sharpened stone, releasing two handles to be untied. At the second, a DIFFERENT member will cut a log with a sharpened oar, cutting through a another rope with two MORE handles. At the final station - a high platform - four OTHER members will put the handles in a turnstile and crank it, pulling a cart up the hill. Once the cart is up, the six who have worked will get INTO the cart...and the seventh will simply take a machete, cut the rope connecting the cart to the turnstile and let the cart FLY down the hill like a pinewood derby entry in the Cub Scouts. Firs tribe to hit bottom wins.

And the Reward for winning...is ALSO in parts. The first is margaritas with tortilla chips and guacamole. And the second part is a way to enjoy that AND cool off in the lake without fear of a Pitfall Harry-esque fate: a floating croc-proof swim cage replete with decking, lounge chairs and umbrella! Ohhhhhhh, yeah...heaven in Central America!

"Survivors, ready...GO!"

It's Jamie vs. Brandon at the first station. Brandon hacks while Jamie slices. Brandon stretches the ropes across the edge of the table for leverage and just hacks and hacks and hacks while Jamie slices at the rope slowly. Needless to say, it ain't even close. Brandon's handles are down before Jamie even gets half-way through the first rope!

At the second station, it's Bobby Jon chopping at the log. He seems to have all the honkin' time in the world as Jamie struggles with the rope at the first station. Steph has pretty much given up already, almost certainly feeling her jinxing status has struck yet again! Her counterpart, Bobby Jon, has an EASY go with the log and puts Yaxha WAY ahead!

Jamie FINALLY gets through the first rope while Gary, Amy, Blake and Brian turn into cranks on the turnstile. The cart passes a frustrated Jamie STILL hacking at the first station's ropes. Up the hill...up the platform... and in position goes the cart. Six people get in...leaving Danni to do the honors of sending them flying down the hill. In the biggest blow-out in Survivor: Guatemala history, YAXHA WINS REWARD!

(And only NOW does Jamie release the first handles. Guess who's odds-on fave to be dumped should Nakum lose the Immunity Challenge?)

AFTERNOON 12: SWIMMING WITH THE FISHE...ER, CROCS.

If you like pena coladas and getting caught in the lake,... well, substitute the coladas for margaritas and we got a HECK of an escape for ya. It's a lovely decked area of about a ten-foot square entrance to the lake. And below the entrance is a metal cage designed to keep out even the hungriest croc. Oh, and we got chips, dip and booze, too!

Brandon humbly proclaims himself the MVP of the Challenge... and Gary couldn't be happier about it. At least the focus is off of HIM for a while. Brian is on Cloud Numero Nueve right about now. One by one, the triumphant tribe slips into the "pool" just laughing it up, happy to be in the water and cooling off from the hot, hot sun. We are just wasting away in Magaritavill South, baby!

NIGHT 13: GOLDEN SHOWERS (wait...that doesn't sound right...)

I guess it can't ALL be Margaritas and skittles. The floodgates open again and five of us huddle under the umbrella (which we drag from the dockside "pool" to the camp-proper) as the rain fails and the thunder booms. I say "five of us" because, for some odd reason, Brian and Blake are still sound asleep in the shelter.

Amy has a nickname for Blake: "Golden Boy". That's because, no matter what, Blake always seems to come out of everything smelling like a rose. On TOP of that, he comes up with the best stories ever!

DAY 14: GO FOR THE GOLDEN BOY

Case in point... when he gets up after being one of the few to sleep last night, Blake goes into a story about how he likes the older women and how her girlfriend got bigger "knockers" after taking "the pill". Gary seems hooked...but it seems the others cannot WAIT for him to STOP! Brandon hates this self-endulgements...and Brian invents a new game called "Bait Blake". He asks Blake questions about stuff like the best thing that happened when Blake was drunk. The object is to make Blake slip and say something bad about the other tribemates. Brian seems to be doing a decent job forcing Blake to dig a hole for himself.

IMMUNITY CHALLENGE: THE OL' BALL-AND-CHAIN

Pot-Mail!

Half your bodies, half your minds
Will have to move as one.
Communicate or fall apart
Work together; this could be fun.

Race around, push and shove,
Will old friends be respected?
Fail to catch Immunity
You may be the next one here ejected!

Catch? Push and shove? What does this have to do with a small ball on a rope? Hmmm...

Back to Challenge Beach. We return the Immunity Idol to Uncle Jeff...and look at a rather surly-looking Nakum. Hmmm...this COULD be trouble. And they say they ain't smiling til they win.

It looks like we'll be playing a game of catch...Mayan style. One member of each tribe will be launching balls from a catapult. Two teams of three will hold triangular nets to try to catch said balls. A caught ball - no matter WHICH tribe member released it - is a point for the tribe. First to five gets to relax a little longer.

Yaxha has Brian as launcher, Nakum has Lydia. Bobby Jon, Gary and Danni make up one group of catchers for Yaxha and Blake, Amy, Brandon the other. Brian's first launch is into deep right field...and Gary's squad catches it with ease for a 1-0 lead. Lydia's first fling is deep center. Yaxha tries to move over while Nakum's Steph, Judd and Rafe lose it in the sun...but it drops untouched (much to Steph's displeasure). Brian launches a blooper in shallow center. The four nets converge...and Steph's group ties the score.

Lydia aims to the same place as before and sends one deep. Nakum looks for it...but Brandon pulls his group to block them. They don't catch it (and Brandon nearly gets clocked) but neither does Nakum. Another deep right shot by Brian is nearly caught by Gary's group...but Steph plows into Bobby Jon and prevents them from the catch. Lydia stays consistant with where she aims. It's deep...it's far...it's at the warning track...and Steph's group nails it! 2-1, Nakum.

Another deep right shot by Brian is caught by Gary's group, tying the score again. Lydia aims deep left and Steph's net gets it to pull them ahead 3-2. Brain goes deep right again...but THIS time Jamie, Cindy and Margaret INTERCEPT the ball as it was about to fall into Gary's group's net. 4-2 Nakum.

It's all up to Lydia now. She aims in the same exactly place...and fires it deep. Amy's group tries to copy what just happened...but Steph group will NOT be denied. It is...CAUGHT! Final score for Immunity is Nakum: 5, Yaxha: 2. Thank you and drive (or paddle) home safely. Oh, and Yaxha? Coach Jeff wants to meet with you...and bring your playbooks.

AFTERNOON 14: SULTANS (AND SULTANAS) OF SWING VOTES

And now it's time for nobody's favorite post-Challenge debate show... WHO'S TO BLAME?! Well,...actually, they DON'T blame each other much. They figure that all of Jamie's frustration from two days prior finally came out when he whooped and hollered after winning.

But, now, the old tribal alliances are out in the open. With four ex-Nakums in Yaxha, it seems like either Gary, Amy or Brian is history. And Brian is all but FREAKED about it. He talks to Gary about TRYING to kick "Golden Boy" Blake out. The plan is to try to turn ONE of the ex-Nakums to their way of thinking and, thus, swing the vote away from the original Yaxhas.

Gary aims for Bobby Jon. Now BJ originally gave his word to Blake that the Palau vet wouldn't vote for Blake. But, after listening to Gary and knowing how much he likes tribal unity, BJ's honestly thinking of going back on his word one of these times. (I know...shocking, ain't it?) Although... he's pretty sure this is NOT "one of these times". OK, so he's out.

So Gary goes to the girls and uses Amy to try to convince Danni to get it through her KC Chiefs cowboy hat to get Blake outta here. Well, THAT was a mistake. Danni goes to Brandon to tell about Gary's "pitch"...and Brandon flat-out says he's not voting for Blake.

But...when "Golden Boy" goes into yet another "frat-boy" story, Danni starts to have second thoughts. And, with that, she KNOWS that she's the swing vote now...and she ain't liking it one bit.

TRIBAL COUNCIL: UP A PADDLE WITHOUT A BROOKE

Ah, Uncle Jeff's Pyramid of Doom, just as we left it last time: tall, dark and frickin' SPOOKY! Uncle Jeff gets Gary to admit about the sleepers through last night's storm. Brian and Blake defend themselves...which forces Amy to give a "o/~ Golden Booooy o/~" comment. Blake admits that he found his second wind. Brandon says that the social aspect of the game is at full speed now.

Gary was scared about the numbers game but is more comfortable with the Nakums now. Amy agrees, saying that you just have to do the best you can under the circumstances. Blake...not so much. To him, they're a tribe...but he DOES hold a bond to the ex-Nakums. Brian is sorry if their plan involves picking original Yaxhas off and hopes not to become a "victim". Bobby Jon says every Council's a "tough vote" for him, since he doesn't want to end someone's dream.

But the dream is over for SOMEONE. It's time to vote. BJ, Brian (votes for Blake, saying, "You may be Golden Boy...but I'm PLATINUM!"), Brandon ("Brian"), Amy, Gary ("Blake"), Blake ("Brian, I just think the... original Yaxha is weakest right now") and swinger Danni scrawl on the parchment and stick in the pot.

Uncle Jeff tallies, arranges and reads the votes:

Blake...

Brian...

Brian...

Blake...

Blake...

BLAKE!

(Oooooo...and Bobby Jon changed his vote, too!)

Blake, the tribe has spoken. Time to walk that runway back to Dallas...and Brian is MORE than a little relieved!

Still got some work to do, says Uncle Jeff. But, hell, at least "Golden Boy" won't hinder it with his inane stories!