So off they go. As they go, Ron & Kelly (Team American Beauties) arrive, thinking it would be a PIT STOP. Boy, are THEY shocked to hear that they have to keep moving. Next up is Uchenna & Joyce (Team Will Race For Food), with Joyce saying to Phil, "What a trick!" Next up is the team that was really HOPING it was a PIT STOP: Lynn & Alex (Team Fab Two). With a heaving, "Oh, God...", the couple leave for the station.

Meanwhile the final team, Meredith & Gretchen (Team Socially Secure), is working through the previous DETOUR. They chose LIQUID, which means they have to deliver cups of tea from a cart on the street to five people on a list of ten in an office building, collecting business cards on the way. They're on their final cup and, upon receiving the last clue, gets on a bike rickshaw to the flats. And they are shocked and awed (not to mention relieved) that they're still in the Race!

LUCKNOW TRAIN STATION, INDIA

All the teams arrive at the platform... and find out that the train doesn't board until 9pm local time. They have eight hours to kill... and they'll all be on the same train. The "Secondary Great Equalizer" strikes again! The two "alliances" talk to each other in the meantime.

At 9pm, the teams board, get into their sleeping car and relax. It's as much of a PIT STOP as anything. But, in the middle of the night, a porter walks through the snoozing Racers, wakes them and hand each of them their next clue, including where in the hell they're going:

When Lynn & Alex inquire, they are informed that they'll arrive in Jodhpur around 10 or 11pm... meaning they'll be on the train for a total of over 24 hours! They're tired, they're sick of going without their comforts (like skin cream)... but they're still fighting.

The "American Survivor Alliance" of Ron & Kelly and Rob & Amber sit down to not only discuss strategy... but to bond. They genuinely become friends and admit to liking racing against each other.

JODHPUR, INDIA

In northwestern India, close to the Pakistani border, the train lets people off The five teams of Racers run around the station, but it's Team Survivor who find the next clue first:

The teams find taxis... and leave Rob & Amber behind as THEIR cabbie gets a translation. They all find the market and the tower, all right... but (take a guess) the tower doesn't open until 10am. Another 12 hours to kill. They ALSO learn that there's an admission price of 500 Rupees to pay.

Oh, well... just because they haven't got TO to PIT STOP doesn't mean they can't LIVE like they're at one! They all go to this beautiful four-star hotel and restaurant. They could eat, sleep, get guides (Rob & Amber hire one free of charge)... and dance? Yes, I said "dance". Team Fab Two get caught up in a wedding celebration in the street outside the hotel. It is living proof that white men - even GAY white men - CANNOT fast-dance!

"Wakey, wakey, eggs and... curry." The teams rise with the sun and head for the tower. Team Survivor wants their guide, Sanjay, to understand that his loyalty is to THEM first and Team American Beauties second. At 10am, the tower opens and the teams walk up the tower steps. They find not one but TWO things inside their envelopes:

(The ritual, just like in the fifth Race, is to shave their heads.)

And what if they don't WANT to go out of their way to do a mystery stunt? Well, there's always a:

Uchenna & Joyce are already out the door and towards the FAST FORWARD while the others discuss the DETOUR. Lynn & Alex follow them at first... but, once they realize there's a team ahead of them, they bow out. The remaining four teams all choose TRUNK.

The American Survivor Alliance are the first to arrive at the elephants. Rob & Amber and Ron & Kelly each take an elephant and start to heave and ho. Team Socially Secure are in a close third... but they make a mistake by adding about 100 pounds to the weight of the elephant: Joyce, as told by a local, gets up ON the large creature. Now it's hard enough for a 60-plus-year-old man to push 600 pounds of dead weight; how hard do you think it would be for Meredith to push 700 pounds?! The answer is simple: hard enough for Lynn & Alex, who had to turn around after deciding to forgo the FAST FORWARD, to actually PASS them. "We have a bad elephant," says Joyce. (No, Joyce, YOU have a bad naivete!). Fortunately, the retired couple FINALLY get help from the locals and it's relatively smooth sailing.

As the elephant races reach their climax, The American Survivor Alliance (or ASA) arrive first. Both teams get their next clue:

As the two teams and one guide leave, we rejoin Team Will Race For Food en route to the shrine. Joyce is SO praying that this ritual isn't head-shaving. Uchenna doesn't think it is. I mean, who would put the same FAST FORWARD into a Race that someone else passed up in a previous Race, right? They reach the right lake... but the wrong temple. It seems there are temples all AROUND the place. Team Fab Two arrives with their pine pacyderm and leaves for the farm in third. As Ron & Kelly pass by the struggling Meredith & Gretchen, Kelly asks the locals to PLEASE help Meredith push. All three teams are already oin the road when Team Socially Secure pulls in. Gretchen regrets ever getting in that elephant.

DEORA KRISHI FARM, OUTSIDE OF JODHPUR, INDIA

There seems to already BE a festival going on (what timing, eh?) as the ASA arrives. Sure enough they slam into a:

Once again, the ASA teams leave it to the ladies to do this ROAD BLOCK. It's a...slow race, to say the least. The camels ain't being too cooperative. Kell;y's camel eventually warms up to the lady and kicks it into second. Amber's camel... not so much. He seems to want to go into reverse instead.

Meanwhile, Team Fab Two and Team Socially Secure both arrive at the farm. At the ROAD BLOCK, they see what's going on and decide to let Meredith and Lynn ride them camel carts. It's not exactly the India-Napolis 500 as the camels spit down the track, but it's still a tight race for first and third.

Meanwhile, Uchenna & Joyce finally arrive at the right temple... and Joyce gets the bad news:

Well, Uchenna is pretty well covered, being bald already. But Joyce, who curses that she KNEW it would come to this, reluctantly and angrily removes her bandana and prepares for her Grace Jones treatment. Uchenna does his best to talk her out of this as she starts to weep and cover her eyes... but once the first dreadlock is clipped, there was no turning back.

With a vast amount of crying and weeping, each thick strand of hair is sliced. She tries the "Ponyboy Curtis" encouragement ("Shoot, it's just hair; it'll grow back") and Uchenna kisses her and greatly apologizes to her for getting her into this mess.

Meanwhile, back at the camel races, Kelly comes down the stretch to complete her last lap. Amber's camel is getting testy, Meredith's decides to take a nap and Lynn's is submitting to his feminine ways.

The bulk of the hair gone, Joyce's next step is the razor to get most of the small clumps off. Uchenna claims that Joyce looks NICE with a bald head. As the man starts to shave, Joyce picks up her clump of hair... and starts to laugh and cry at the same time. What these two former Enron and Worldcom employees won't do to get the money to have a child.

With a prayer of gratitude for the good fortune of finally getting ahead in the Race, the task is complete. And their good fortune and bravery is rewarded with:

And DOWN DA STRETCH THEY COME! And Kelly wins it by fifty lengths. She and Ron now get the last clue of the leg (finally!):

As they pass their ASA alliance-mate, they let Rob know that the next stop is, in fact, a PIT STOP this time. They hop in a cab and haul as Rob anxiously waits for Amber. And it would appear that the camel has finally decided to LISTEN to Amber as it and the cart come barrelling towards the finish line... but then stops dead in its tracks a few feet from it! It then turns around and struts back the way it came! The other teams HAVE to laugh at this... but, eventually, Amber crosses the line, letting her and Rob depart in third.

So it's a battle for last between Team Fab Two and Team Socially Secure. Lynn passes Meredith at the first lap and they stay close going around the course. Gretchen NOW screams, "We have an obstinate camel!" (Remind everyone not to help get animals on THEIR ark if the floods come again.)

But it's Lynn who finishes first... er, fourth and gets the clue for him & Alex. Meredith isn't TOO far behind, though. It's gone from a camel race to a taxi race to the shrine. But Team Fab Two's driver has taken them to the wrong one, one practically on the opposite side of the city!

Meanwhile, the other three teams continue their run for Jaswant Thada. But, just as you would pressume with their luck, Ron & Kelly's cab has to have a "pit stop" of its own, namely for gas. This allows Rob & Amber to catch up to them... but not to pass them. But it's Uchenna & Joyce who are confident they'll be first to...

PIT STOP: JASWANT THADA, JODHPUR, INDIA

Up the steps of the massive tomb to honor Jodhpur royalty march two bald, black but beautiful people. There to greet them is Phil again... along WITH the local greeter this time AND the PIT STOP podium. After the traditional welcome to India, Phil proclaims Uchenna & Joyce, for the first time in the Race, as TEAM NUMBER 1! No trip... and no showing of the bald head. Joyce says the FAST FORWARD was hard for her... but she and Uchenna applaud her resilience.

Four more bodies arrive at the shrine and find their own routes to the mat. All four pretty much arrive at the same time... but, since Ron & Kelly arrived a split-second earlier, they are proclaimed Team # 2 and Rob & Amber are named Team # 3... and Sanjay is off the hook at last!

Back on the streets, two auto-rickshaw speed towards the PIT STOP from different directions. Lynn & Alex just want this leg over and done with... while Meredith & Gretchen just want one other team behind them.

As the sun beats down, a couple arrives at the PIT STOP and jogs over to Phil and the local. And Phil says...

"Meredith & Gretchen,...you're Team Number #4! You're still in the Amazing Race!" Yes, folks, the old f***s refuse to die!! And... they set a record. They are the oldest team to ever make it THIS FAR in an Amazing Race in the show's four years!

And that means that Lynn & Alex are the last team to arrive. And, unfortunately for them, that means they're "Philiminated". But, hey, the spokesmen for Queer Eye For the CBS Guy had a wonder trip... and cry as they share a chaste kiss.