PIT STOP: LA MARTINA POLO CLUB, VICENTE CASARES, CHILE

After taking a ride like a gaucho, the Racers headed across the country to Buenos Aires and had a heck of a time looking for either a shipwreck or an island amid the nearby river. When all was said and done, Rob & Amber (Team Survivor) made it to the front of the pack once again... much to the chagrin of practically every OTHER team. Brian & Greg (Team Barroom Bros) came in second... and Susan & Patrick (Team First Mom/Son) got the axe for arriving last.

At precisely 3am local time, 12 hours after Team Survivor won immunity from Racing (via the PIT STOP), they start off leg 5 with this clue:

The incredibly lucky couple get a cab and haul for Buenos Aires International Airport. Over a half-hour later, Team Barroom Bros, feeling this leg will be "a doozy", depart as well.

Rob & Amber arrive at the airport and asks a ticket agent about flights to South Africa. Varig Airlines seems to be the only flight to Johannesburg, connecting via Sao Paulo, Brazil. 10:55am is when the flight leaves, which means that it's very likely the two reality-show gurus WON'T be the only ones on the flight. Sure enough, Brian & Greg get THEIR tickets.

Almost three hours behind the pack, Uchenna & Joyce (Team Will Race For Food) depart the PIT STOP. They're excited about going to the "motherland". about a half-hour after THEY leave, Ron & Kelly (Team American Beauties) leave, followed closely by Lynn & Alex (Team Fab Two). All three make the airport and find that a) Varig's the only flight and b) they'll have to check their backpacks in. Still, all the teams make it on the flight.

It's 9:20am when the next team, Ray & Deana (Team On-Again-Off-Again) leave. They do NOT want to lose! And the team they most NOT want to lose to - Meredith & Gretchen (Team Socially Secure) departs 15 minutes behind them... and 90 minutes before the departing flight to South Africa.

Ray & Deana make it to the airport and book their seats... and most of the teams wonder why the heck THAT team can take THEIR backpacks on and the others could not! Meredith & Gretchen, however, have only one goal: get seats. They're in luck, though; there are still seats available. The "Great Equalizer" has struck again! It's a seven-way tie for first place as they travel to Sao Paolo and then to...

JOHANNESBURG, SOUTH AFRICA

En route, Ray & Deana manage to talk the co-pilot into putting them at the front of the plane in first class so that they'll be first off. Now, the "Rules of the Race" claim that you cannot BOOK first-class tickets... but say NOTHING about UPGRADING to first-class in-flight. So it's all good.

As the sun rises over the capital of perhaps the most integrated country in the "Dark Continent", the plane lands and fourteen Americans sprint out... some to get their backpacks from the luggage carousels, others going straight to the cars. They find that the steering wheels are on the right-hand side of the cars... as well as this:

For those NOT interested in tightrope walking today, we have a usual:

As Team On-Again-Off-Again decides on one of the three choices, Team Fab Two decide to do TRIBES. Ray finally decides that they should do the FAST FORWARD... though he admits it might be a mistake. After they depart, Rob & Amber head out, find their car and ALSO opt to do the FAST FORWARD. So the Rules say that the first one TO it gets to be the first to TRY it.

Team Socially Secure comes out and decides to do TUNNELS, Team Barroom Bros choose TUNNELS as well... and Ron & Kelly and Uchenna & Joyce wait for their bags. It's Team American Beauties who get theirs first. and likewise choose TUNNELS. Team Will Race For Food start to worry that they're backpacks have been lost... but they soon see them, look into a map at the gift shop and head off to try TUNNELS.

Team On-Again-Off-Again and Team Survivor ask directions of practically everyone and their kinfolk where the tower is. It's Ray & Deana who have better navigators and reach the FAST FORWARD first. While Ron & Amber are stuck in traffic, Deana starts to get weak in the knees (super... ANOTHER acrophobic!) Ray goes first and starts to balance his way across the bridge, Deana telling him "careful" all the way.

Meanwhile, Team Fab Two find the village and start on their DETOUR task. They take a shield to the Zulu tribe and get scared out of their wits as the chief thrusts a spear near them... and THEN gives them a pendant.

As Ray is two-thirds of the way across the bridge, Team Survivor shows up. They decide to wait it out and PRAY one of them has a breakdown and declines the task. Ray gets all the way across... and he was scared. The question is... with Deana have the gumption to do it?

Meanwhile, at the caves, Ron & Kelly arrive first and get suited up. Brian & Greg - having stopped to get directions from a gas station using MapQuest - arrive in second. The four spelunkers descend, one-by-one, into the caves. They start to crawl their ways around the caves, looking for the clue.

Deana starts her walk, freaking at almost every step. Rob starts to doubt wanting to stay around... but Amber says they're in last no matter what... so they stay. This may prove to be wise... because Deana starts to REALLY freak about half-way across. She sucks it in, though and, as Rob asks Amber to make a decision as to whether to stay or go, Deana finishes the walk. And they are handsomely rewarded with:

They descend the tower... to see Rob & Amber taking off their gear and running like crazy to find a place to learn which DETOUR is closer.

Lynn & Alex work on the TRIBES task and get to three pendants with two to go. Meanwhile, Team Survivor look FOR the village... and get help from yet ANOTHER Survivor fan who gives them directions.

Meanwhile, in the caves, the two teams keep looking. Team American Beauties actually make it to the END of the cave... without the clue in hand. So they must go back down and keep looking. As such, it's Team Barroom Bros who find the next clue:

As they head out, Ron & Kelly head back in. The bros give the POW and the RHB (Red-hot babe) directions to the clue, putting them in third.

Meanwhile, Team Fab Two get their fifth and final artifact to the right tribe, trade in the pendants and head for the market in fourth.

As three teams head for Soweto, Meredith & Gretchen arrive at TUNNELS and start their rappel... just as Uchenna & Joyce arrive. Soon, four more American spelunkers and groping around the caves.

PIT STOP: SOWETO OVERLOOK, SOUTH AFRICA

Meanwhile, far ahead of them all, Team On-Again-Off-Again hits the mat in front of host Phil Keoghan and a native. Phil announces that Ray & Deana are Team #1! And... what about their prize? Well, THIS time, Phil gets to point them OUT to them. It's a pair of 2005 Toyota Rav4's!! They were happy to have taken the risk and come in front.

Back at the village, Rob & Amber arrive, still very much in this Race. They get to work on getting the artifacts to the right tribe.

BARAGWANATH MARKET, SOWETO, SOUTH AFRICA

After getting directions (some more questionable than others), the teams start to file into the marketplace. It's Ron & Kelly who first hit the:

Kelly, of course, chooses to do it herself. She gets a backpack for $2 and continues on.

Back at the caves, Team Socially Secure find the right path... and Team Will Race For Food get lost. But the seniors exit the cave without the clue and walk aimlessly around looking for a non-existant Route Marker. And back in the village, Team Survivor finds out how the artifacts match up and get the clue to vault into fifth place! As they get very upset, Uchenna & Joyce find the clue and drive to Soweto in sixth.

Brian & Greg arrive at the ROAD BLOCK and Greg decides to do it. He immediately gets a toy and diapers... while Kelly gets a good deal on a blanket and a kewpie doll.

"HEY! HELP US!" comes the yell of Meredith from the cave. Gretchen has lost her footing and hurt herself. When the medical team gets down to where they are, Gretchen's head is bloody... but she's smiling still. "I've been wanting a face lift for a long time," she says as she's attended to. She sends Meredith to find the clue... which he does. As they leave in last, Gretchen sees herself in a mirror, one stitch and a bandage around her head, and says, "I can't go to Soweto looking like this!" (SURE, you can! Just get Meredith a drum and a fife for yourself and you'll be UNDENIABLY American. :) )

Back at the market, Greg and Kelly keep shopping. It's Kelly that gets all the items first and brings them to the van. For that, she gets:

As they leave, Lynn & Alex arrive. Lynn decides to shop for the team. Greg returns with all HIS items (including "two WWF T-shirts"... which must mean they have ANIMALS and not WRESTLERS on them) and he and Brian head off to give them to the orphans.

Ut oh... it's getting combustible now as Rob & Amber arrive... with Alex waiting. Amber decides to do the BLOCK... and Rob and Alex stay silent.

At the orphanage, Ron & Kelly are geeks bearing gifts. They get hugs from most of the kids and, from the director, their next clue:

They are happy to have brought joy to the kids' eyes... but they can't stay and play; they have a leg to finish. As they leave, Team Barroom Bros arrives and high-fives everyone. After some "don't do drugs" messages they take off to.

PIT STOP: SOWETO OVERLOOK, SOUTH AFRICA

It's Ron & Kelly who are proclaimed Team # 2... and dirty. Brian & Greg are Team # 3.

At the marketplace, Lynn finishes his shopping and leave for the orphanage in fourth place. Rob is not happy... and Amber has trouble finding a toy. Another "fan" shows up and helps her gather all her items in quick fashion. (And who says girls don't shop in packs?) She even leads the team to the orphanage.

Uchenna & Joyce are next to the ROAD BLOCK and Uchenna shops... as Team Fab Two check-in as Team # 4. It doesn't take him too long to get what he needs and drag Joyce to the orphanage. As they leave, Meredith & Bandage... er, Gretchen arrive, with Gretchen doing the shopping.

The teams check-in one by one. Rob & Amber are Team #5 and Uchenna & Joyce are Team #6... but not before Joyce gets the idea to adopt after visiting the orphanage. Awwwww...

After getting their goods and giving them to the orphans, Meredith & Gretchen arrive and look somberly into Phil's eyes. Phil announces that they are the last team to arrive.

Then comes those three little words: "The GOOD news..."

Yes, this is the first of three non-elimination legs, so Team Socially Secure is STILL in it. But... we all know what happens next. Phil plays the part of the "BANKRUPT" space on the Wheel of Fortune and takes away every penny the married seniors have... and tell them they'll start with $0 12 hours from now.

But, wait... it's even WORSE! Not only must they hand over every cent they have... but they must hand over their BACKPACKS... and must start with just their PASSPORTS... and the CLOTHES ON THEIR BACK!! ZOIKS!! All they have left are each other... LITERALLY!

Oh, we're not through yet, folks! There's still another hour to go. So....