"The Whole Country
Hates Me - Leg
PIT STOP: LA MERCED
CHURCH, CUZCO, PERU
After traveling thousands of miles from Long Beach, California
to Lima Peru, the Racers zipped down a line, hefted alfalfa and
herded llamas to get to the first PIT STOP in this Race around
the world. It was Debbie & Bianca (Team Well-Traveled Babes) who
arrived in first, mere minutes ahead of Susan & Patrick (Team
First Mom/Son). And, in one of the closer finishes for last
place in a good while, Ron & Kelly (Team American Beauties)
finished a mere TEN SECONDS ahead of Ryan & Chuck (Team Dukes of
Landrum), knocking them out of the Race.
At the old church in one of the oldest cities in South America,
the teams rest for 12 hours before Debbie & Bianca can rip open
their next clue. At 10:54pm local time, as the rain starts to
fall, they do so:
Travel by bus to the city of Arequipa, Peru
(nearly 400 miles away). It is called the "White City"
because most of the buildings are made of white granite.
Once in Arequipa, find the "Syndicato Unico de Lustradores
de Calzado" Shoeshine Union headquarters and head up the
staircase to find your next clue. You have $480 for this leg
of the Race.
They grab a cab,
DETERMINED to be the first two-woman team to win an Amazing
Race. They get to the bus station only to find that it won't be
open to buy tickets for many, many hours. So they start a line
in front of the nearest counter offering a bus to Arequipa.
Meanwhile, 16 minutes later, Susan & Patrick depart, followed
very closely by Rob & Amber (Team Survivor). When both teams
arrive, they get the news about the ticket counter being closed
until 5:30am. While Team First Mom/Son are content to stay
behind Team Well-Traveled Babes, Rob & Amber find out that this
particular bus makes a lot of stops... but one from "Flores"
goes to Arequipa and makes only ONE stop.
As the reality couple awaits, Brian & Greg (Team Barroom Bros)
depart the PIT STOP at a minute before midnight. One minute
later, they are followed by Lynn & Alex (Team Fab Two). The
brothers hold a second cab for the gay lovers and they both get
to the station to join the others.
At around 12:30am, Meredith & Gretchen (Team Socially Secure)
depart, followed by Jay & Deana (Team On-Again-Off-Again) and
Uchenna & Joyce (Team Will Race For Food). When they get to the
bus station, Team Survivor tells them about the Flores bus...
and bribes a guard not to tell anyone else. The final two teams
- Megan & Heidi (Team Cali Roomies) and Ron & Kelly - leave just
over two hours after the first-place team did.
And, then, all hell breaks loose. When the teams wonder what
happened to Rob & Amber, they ask a guard if he's seen them. And
the guard is enough of an IDIOT to say, "I've been told I cannot
help you"... and even named names! This gets the Fab Two upset
at them. Megan & Heidi call Rob a liar... and Rob takes that to
heart! All Alex can say is, "It's a good thing nobody can be
voted off." (I'm sure they're going to rag him with Survivor-type
phrases all through the Race.)
Needless to say, everyone got on the same "direct" bus to...
Rob decides that, if they can't keep everyone OFF the
bus, they should remain ON it as long as possible. So he bribes
the driver into opening the front doors of the bus first and
leaving the back ones shut for as long as he dares. The SICK
thing about this is that three teams chipped in five bucks for
the bribe... and Rob put HIS fiver back in his pocket!
Meanwhile, Team Barroom Bros and Team Cali Roomies are getting a
little more... chummy with each other.
The bus stops and Rob & Amber gets out first, tailed by Team
On-Again-Off-Again, Team American Beauties and Team Will Race
For Food. Only when the taxis carrying these four teams haul
asnos does the back door open and the other teams escape.
The front four teams arrive at the union HQ, but it's Ray &
Deana who first run smack into the first...
ROAD BLOCK (Who loves shoes?)
One team member must shine five pairs of
shoes worn by the civilians. Continue upstairs and don the
uniform of the union worker. Then choose a supervisor to
follow you. You must take your shoeshine kit and ask people
if you can shine their shoes. The cost for each shoeshine is
one Peruvian Nuevo Sol. Once you have "earned" five Sols,
return to the union HQ and your supervisor will exchange
your next clue for the money.
Begrudgingly, Ray says
he'll do it. So they mount the stairs to the roof and get Ray
decked out. Meanwhile, the other three teams decide on Amber,
Ron (who has done military shoes for a long time) and Joyce for
the BLOCK busters. Then the back six arrive. Lynn, Susan,
Gretchen, Megan, Brian and Debbie are chosen as the "humble and
Now,... even as big a business as shoe-shining is in the town,
it's not very easy to ask a stranger to lift their foot and get
it shined. Rob & Amber are the first to get their Sols for
shining "soles". The only one that has a fair problem with it is
Joyce (this is Peru, after all, not downtown Manhattan; nobody
in Peru is USED to an African-American girl shining their
shoes). Lynn is also having his share of difficulties (guess
they're not used to openly homosexual shoe-shiners, either).
Debbie doesn't have that much of a problem (must be her looks).
The task is slow-going... but it's Ron who finishes buffing ten
feet first. And when he returns the equipment and he and Kelly
get their next clue, they receive something VERY interesting:
Congratulations! You are on the first of two
flights to Santiago, Chile, leaving from Arequipa
International Airport. The second plane leaves 45 minutes
behind the first one. Once in Santiago, you must ride a
venicular to the top of a hill where a large statue of the
Virgin Mary is located. On the outlook you will find your
As the others finish their tasks, Joyce is left high and dry.
She would eventually get the five needed, but she exited the
ROAD BLOCK with her & Uchenna on the second flight. It's Lynn
who finishes in last... but Alex says they're "good at pulling
up from the rear". (Uhhhhhhhh... yeah.)
FIRST FLIGHT: Team American Beauties, Team
Survivor, Team On-Again-Off-Again, Team First Mom/Son and Team
SECOND FLIGHT: Team Cali Roomies, Team Will
Race For Food, Team Well-Travelled Babes, Team Fab Two and Team
After connecting through Lima and Buenos Aires, Argentina, the
ten teams make their way to...
In the capital city of the narrowest country in South America,
the first plane lands at the International Airport. The five
teams within jog out and get into taxis and make their way to
the venicular (which is sort of a diagonal cable car). Team
Survivor and Team American Beauties catch the first ride up to
the statue and, as such arrive at the next clue first.
Wouldn'tcha know that it's a...
DETOUR - Shop or Schlep?
SHOP - You must go to the Augusto restaurant
in Ricardo Central 2 miles away and receive a traditional
Chilean recipe from the head chef. You must then travel
about the nearby busy marketplace to buy the five
ingredients for the recipe. Once you have returned the right
items (and in the correct amounts) to the chef, you will
receive your next clue.
SCHLEP - Santiago is known for Pulitzer Prize-winning
authors. Proceed 2 miles to the Libreria Chilena and use
dollies to move 180 books a distance of eight blocks to the
Library of Congress. Once a librarian has counted all the
books, s/he will give you your next clue.
With all the bribing that Rob & Amber has done over the last
few days, the LAST thing they need is to buy stuff with their
own money. So they decide on SCHLEP. Ron & Kelly, also KNOWING
it would literally cost them, chooses SCHLEP as well.
As the other three teams fight traffic, the second flight lands
and five OTHER teams run out of the terminal, looking for cabs.
They are lead by Debbie & Bianca.
Ray & Deana are on the second venicular up and choose to SHOP.
When Meredith & Gretchen arrives, they head on up... but Susan &
Patrick are left on the bottom since they didn't trade their
dollars for pesos. So...they decide to beg for pesos.
Meanwhile, Rob & Amber arrive at the bookstore, ready to SCHLEP.
Rob, if you'll recall from Survivor, is in construction
so he knows how to make stacks stable. Ron & Kelly... not so
much. What's more, they stop at 109 and, despite Kelly's
objections, move out, determined to make two trips. Team
Survivor, though, opts for all 180. The odd thing is that,
despite stacking them well, the books on Team Survivor's dolly
fall... and, as they gather them up, a befuddled Team American
Beauties passes them by.
Back at the funicular, Team Well-Traveled Babes manage to
catch-up with Team First Mom/Son. As they ride up, Team Socially
Secure starts down, opting to SHOP instead of hauling all those
books. The venicular stops at the top as the two teams get off,
grab their clues, choose their path (Susan & Patrick: SHOP,
Debbie & Bianca: SCHLEP) and get back on for the ride down.
Except... the mother and son miss the departure by mere moments
and must now wait for the next one. That one carries Lynn & Alex
and Uchenna & Joyce, who both opt to SHOP. before catching up to
Susan & Patrick.
Ray & Deana arrive at the bookstore and get THEIR 180 books and
head out in pursuit. But their map is not the best for this
task. Rob & Amber arrive at the library first and start to count
out their books. As soon as the magic number of 180 is hit, they
are rewarded with:
ROUTE INFO - PIT STOP:
Make your way to the next PIT STOP: Cerro
Santa Lucia. Take a taxi one mile to the center of Santiago
to find the wooded area known as Cerro Santa Lucia (Hill of
St. Lucie). Climb the steps to the statue of Neptune to the
PIT STOP. WARNING: the last team to check-in MAY be
Rob & Amber sneak out behind Ron & Kelly's backs as their
book number is only 112. As they head back to get 68 more books,
Ray & Deana still look to find their way.
PIT STOP: CERRO SANTA LUCIA, SANTIAGO, CHILE
Team Survivor find themselves in very familiar territory: first
and second to the finish. Phil Keoghan and a local chica
welcome them at the top of the stairs and Phil proclaims them
"Team #1"! For this, they win a trip to Atlantis! No, not the
mythical continent at the bottom of the ocean. The hotel/resort
on Paradise Island in the Bahamas. This is all courtesy of
Travelocity, the home of the Roaming Gnome. Amber gives all the
credit to Rob.
Meanwhile, at the restaurant, Meredith & Gretchen arrive first
and get the ingredients: 3 kg of fish, a root of colibano, one
clove of garlic, two tomatoes and one onion. The couple find the
fish market first and find that a three-kilo carp runs over 8000
PESOS! And that's MUCH more than they have on them. But, with
enough begging and pleading, they were able to get it for 1000.
Next stop is Chico Loco (Crazy Boy) for the rest of the stuff.
Meanwhile, the last two teams - Team Barroom Bros and Team Cali
Roomies - FINALLY arrive at the funicular. The bros choose
SCHLEP, the girls choose SHOP (almost sounds stereotypical).
Ron & Kelly race out with their last books... just as Team
Well-Traveled Babes arrive. They decide to make two trips no
matter what. Team American Beauties eventually make it to the
library and receive their clue to the PIT STOP. Ray & Deana are
right behind them in third as Ray carries some of the books
himself. As such, they arrive as Team #2 and Team #3
Team Fab Two and Team Will Race For Food get their ingredient
lists from the chef and start their shopping excursion. Lynn &
Alex have no PROBLEM buying a fish for 8000 pesos while Uchenna
& Joyce opt for the cheapest fish in the bin. Susan & Patrick
likewise get THEIR list and start off in the magical shopping
arcade A-Chile-bashi (C-Note: if you don't get that, click
zaniness). But, again, the mother and son are strapped for cash,
even WITH the traded pesos. So... out to beg again.
Meredith & Gretchen get the rest of their ingredients in the
smallest possible quantities. They head on back to the
restaurant. Meanwhile, Lynn & Alex turn on the charm and manage
to get the tomatoes and garlic free of charge... though the
colinabo and onion DID cost them the rest of their pesos.
Uchenna & Joyce are the next to grab all of their ingredients,
leaving Team First Mom/Son in the dust. They DO manage to trade
a flower to a man for a few thousand pesos and buy the fish...
but the rest might be tough.
As Debbie & Bianca work on their second 90 books, in rush a
boisterous Brian & Greg. THEY decide to take two trips, so they
pack their dolly with as much as humanly possible and haul
libros behind the ladies.
Megan & Heidi, the last team to choose SHOP, get their
ingredients.. as Meredith & Gretchen arrive at the restaurant...
and find out that their fish is .1 kg too light! They race back
to exchange the fish... and that give Lynn & Alex enough time to
put THEIR fish on the scale. It is ALSO not perfect, despite
Team Fab Two's objections. Uchenna & Joyce's scrod, however, is
much MORE than 3 kilos, so they get the clue in fourth. Team
Socially Secure trade up and get another well-over-3-kg
pesca, bring it back and jump into fifth while Lynn & Alex
b*tch about how off their scales are. But they are ROYALLY
screamed out of the market by everyone around!
As Team First Mom/Son get their ingredients in order, Team Fab
Two go to another market and trade their just-under-3-kg fish
for one WELL over 3. As such, they leave the market in sixth.
Team Will Race For Food arrive at the PIT STOP as Team #4... and
Team Socially Secure are lost. Debbie & Bianca finish their book
haul in seventh and bolt to the PIT STOP. The shopping is done
for Susan & Patrick as they leave in eighth.
At the PIT STOP, three teams are there: Team Socially Secure,
Team Well-Traveled Babes and Team Fab Two. As soon as they find
their way to the top of the stairs, Lynn & Alex are Team #5
(again), Debbie & Bianca are Team #6 and, after Gretchen stops
on Meredith's suggestion to "fix his hair", the grandparents are
#7 (which is "better than a sharp stick in the eye" according to
The race for last is on as Megan & Heidi try to haggle for
ingredients and Brian & Greg huff and puff the 86 books needed
to complete the task. As Team First Mom/Son hit the mat as Team
#8, the ladies plop down their goodies... and the bros stack up
their books. The cabs are loaded, the passengers speed off...
and the race is on! They arrive at the same time... and it's a
foot race up the stairs!
A panting pair of people plop their posteriors on the PIT STOP
with a plaster Poseidon peering at their pusses. And Phil
"Brian & Greg,... you're Team #9!"
The victory, however, is bitter-sweet. A mere minute behind them
are Team Cali Roomies. And, sadly, there's no "may be" about it;
they're eliminated. It bums the bros that the ladies are gone...
and Greg even CRIES about it. But the teams embrace and wish
each other good luck.