PIT STOP: LA MERCED CHURCH, CUZCO, PERU

After traveling thousands of miles from Long Beach, California to Lima Peru, the Racers zipped down a line, hefted alfalfa and herded llamas to get to the first PIT STOP in this Race around the world. It was Debbie & Bianca (Team Well-Traveled Babes) who arrived in first, mere minutes ahead of Susan & Patrick (Team First Mom/Son). And, in one of the closer finishes for last place in a good while, Ron & Kelly (Team American Beauties) finished a mere TEN SECONDS ahead of Ryan & Chuck (Team Dukes of Landrum), knocking them out of the Race.

At the old church in one of the oldest cities in South America, the teams rest for 12 hours before Debbie & Bianca can rip open their next clue. At 10:54pm local time, as the rain starts to fall, they do so:

They grab a cab, DETERMINED to be the first two-woman team to win an Amazing Race. They get to the bus station only to find that it won't be open to buy tickets for many, many hours. So they start a line in front of the nearest counter offering a bus to Arequipa.

Meanwhile, 16 minutes later, Susan & Patrick depart, followed very closely by Rob & Amber (Team Survivor). When both teams arrive, they get the news about the ticket counter being closed until 5:30am. While Team First Mom/Son are content to stay behind Team Well-Traveled Babes, Rob & Amber find out that this particular bus makes a lot of stops... but one from "Flores" goes to Arequipa and makes only ONE stop.

As the reality couple awaits, Brian & Greg (Team Barroom Bros) depart the PIT STOP at a minute before midnight. One minute later, they are followed by Lynn & Alex (Team Fab Two). The brothers hold a second cab for the gay lovers and they both get to the station to join the others.

At around 12:30am, Meredith & Gretchen (Team Socially Secure) depart, followed by Jay & Deana (Team On-Again-Off-Again) and Uchenna & Joyce (Team Will Race For Food). When they get to the bus station, Team Survivor tells them about the Flores bus... and bribes a guard not to tell anyone else. The final two teams - Megan & Heidi (Team Cali Roomies) and Ron & Kelly - leave just over two hours after the first-place team did.

And, then, all hell breaks loose. When the teams wonder what happened to Rob & Amber, they ask a guard if he's seen them. And the guard is enough of an IDIOT to say, "I've been told I cannot help you"... and even named names! This gets the Fab Two upset at them. Megan & Heidi call Rob a liar... and Rob takes that to heart! All Alex can say is, "It's a good thing nobody can be voted off." (I'm sure they're going to rag him with Survivor-type phrases all through the Race.)

Needless to say, everyone got on the same "direct" bus to...

AREQUIPA, PERU

Rob decides that, if they can't keep everyone OFF the bus, they should remain ON it as long as possible. So he bribes the driver into opening the front doors of the bus first and leaving the back ones shut for as long as he dares. The SICK thing about this is that three teams chipped in five bucks for the bribe... and Rob put HIS fiver back in his pocket! Meanwhile, Team Barroom Bros and Team Cali Roomies are getting a little more... chummy with each other.

The bus stops and Rob & Amber gets out first, tailed by Team On-Again-Off-Again, Team American Beauties and Team Will Race For Food. Only when the taxis carrying these four teams haul asnos does the back door open and the other teams escape.

The front four teams arrive at the union HQ, but it's Ray & Deana who first run smack into the first...

Begrudgingly, Ray says he'll do it. So they mount the stairs to the roof and get Ray decked out. Meanwhile, the other three teams decide on Amber, Ron (who has done military shoes for a long time) and Joyce for the BLOCK busters. Then the back six arrive. Lynn, Susan, Gretchen, Megan, Brian and Debbie are chosen as the "humble and lovable" shoeshiners.

Now,... even as big a business as shoe-shining is in the town, it's not very easy to ask a stranger to lift their foot and get it shined. Rob & Amber are the first to get their Sols for shining "soles". The only one that has a fair problem with it is Joyce (this is Peru, after all, not downtown Manhattan; nobody in Peru is USED to an African-American girl shining their shoes). Lynn is also having his share of difficulties (guess they're not used to openly homosexual shoe-shiners, either). Debbie doesn't have that much of a problem (must be her looks).

The task is slow-going... but it's Ron who finishes buffing ten feet first. And when he returns the equipment and he and Kelly get their next clue, they receive something VERY interesting:

As the others finish their tasks, Joyce is left high and dry. She would eventually get the five needed, but she exited the ROAD BLOCK with her & Uchenna on the second flight. It's Lynn who finishes in last... but Alex says they're "good at pulling up from the rear". (Uhhhhhhhh... yeah.)

FIRST FLIGHT: Team American Beauties, Team Survivor, Team On-Again-Off-Again, Team First Mom/Son and Team Socially Secure.
SECOND FLIGHT: Team Cali Roomies, Team Will Race For Food, Team Well-Travelled Babes, Team Fab Two and Team Barroom Bros.

After connecting through Lima and Buenos Aires, Argentina, the ten teams make their way to...

SANTIAGO, CHILE

In the capital city of the narrowest country in South America, the first plane lands at the International Airport. The five teams within jog out and get into taxis and make their way to the venicular (which is sort of a diagonal cable car). Team Survivor and Team American Beauties catch the first ride up to the statue and, as such arrive at the next clue first. Wouldn'tcha know that it's a...

With all the bribing that Rob & Amber has done over the last few days, the LAST thing they need is to buy stuff with their own money. So they decide on SCHLEP. Ron & Kelly, also KNOWING it would literally cost them, chooses SCHLEP as well.

As the other three teams fight traffic, the second flight lands and five OTHER teams run out of the terminal, looking for cabs. They are lead by Debbie & Bianca.

Ray & Deana are on the second venicular up and choose to SHOP. When Meredith & Gretchen arrives, they head on up... but Susan & Patrick are left on the bottom since they didn't trade their dollars for pesos. So...they decide to beg for pesos.

Meanwhile, Rob & Amber arrive at the bookstore, ready to SCHLEP. Rob, if you'll recall from Survivor, is in construction so he knows how to make stacks stable. Ron & Kelly... not so much. What's more, they stop at 109 and, despite Kelly's objections, move out, determined to make two trips. Team Survivor, though, opts for all 180. The odd thing is that, despite stacking them well, the books on Team Survivor's dolly fall... and, as they gather them up, a befuddled Team American Beauties passes them by.

Back at the funicular, Team Well-Traveled Babes manage to catch-up with Team First Mom/Son. As they ride up, Team Socially Secure starts down, opting to SHOP instead of hauling all those books. The venicular stops at the top as the two teams get off, grab their clues, choose their path (Susan & Patrick: SHOP, Debbie & Bianca: SCHLEP) and get back on for the ride down. Except... the mother and son miss the departure by mere moments and must now wait for the next one. That one carries Lynn & Alex and Uchenna & Joyce, who both opt to SHOP. before catching up to Susan & Patrick.

Ray & Deana arrive at the bookstore and get THEIR 180 books and head out in pursuit. But their map is not the best for this task. Rob & Amber arrive at the library first and start to count out their books. As soon as the magic number of 180 is hit, they are rewarded with:

Rob & Amber sneak out behind Ron & Kelly's backs as their book number is only 112. As they head back to get 68 more books, Ray & Deana still look to find their way.

PIT STOP: CERRO SANTA LUCIA, SANTIAGO, CHILE

Team Survivor find themselves in very familiar territory: first and second to the finish. Phil Keoghan and a local chica welcome them at the top of the stairs and Phil proclaims them "Team #1"! For this, they win a trip to Atlantis! No, not the mythical continent at the bottom of the ocean. The hotel/resort on Paradise Island in the Bahamas. This is all courtesy of Travelocity, the home of the Roaming Gnome. Amber gives all the credit to Rob.

Meanwhile, at the restaurant, Meredith & Gretchen arrive first and get the ingredients: 3 kg of fish, a root of colibano, one clove of garlic, two tomatoes and one onion. The couple find the fish market first and find that a three-kilo carp runs over 8000 PESOS! And that's MUCH more than they have on them. But, with enough begging and pleading, they were able to get it for 1000. Next stop is Chico Loco (Crazy Boy) for the rest of the stuff.

Meanwhile, the last two teams - Team Barroom Bros and Team Cali Roomies - FINALLY arrive at the funicular. The bros choose SCHLEP, the girls choose SHOP (almost sounds stereotypical).

Ron & Kelly race out with their last books... just as Team Well-Traveled Babes arrive. They decide to make two trips no matter what. Team American Beauties eventually make it to the library and receive their clue to the PIT STOP. Ray & Deana are right behind them in third as Ray carries some of the books himself. As such, they arrive as Team #2 and Team #3 respectively.

Team Fab Two and Team Will Race For Food get their ingredient lists from the chef and start their shopping excursion. Lynn & Alex have no PROBLEM buying a fish for 8000 pesos while Uchenna & Joyce opt for the cheapest fish in the bin. Susan & Patrick likewise get THEIR list and start off in the magical shopping arcade A-Chile-bashi (C-Note: if you don't get that, click here. Expect zaniness). But, again, the mother and son are strapped for cash, even WITH the traded pesos. So... out to beg again.

Meredith & Gretchen get the rest of their ingredients in the smallest possible quantities. They head on back to the restaurant. Meanwhile, Lynn & Alex turn on the charm and manage to get the tomatoes and garlic free of charge... though the colinabo and onion DID cost them the rest of their pesos. Uchenna & Joyce are the next to grab all of their ingredients, leaving Team First Mom/Son in the dust. They DO manage to trade a flower to a man for a few thousand pesos and buy the fish... but the rest might be tough.

As Debbie & Bianca work on their second 90 books, in rush a boisterous Brian & Greg. THEY decide to take two trips, so they pack their dolly with as much as humanly possible and haul libros behind the ladies.

Megan & Heidi, the last team to choose SHOP, get their ingredients.. as Meredith & Gretchen arrive at the restaurant... and find out that their fish is .1 kg too light! They race back to exchange the fish... and that give Lynn & Alex enough time to put THEIR fish on the scale. It is ALSO not perfect, despite Team Fab Two's objections. Uchenna & Joyce's scrod, however, is much MORE than 3 kilos, so they get the clue in fourth. Team Socially Secure trade up and get another well-over-3-kg pesca, bring it back and jump into fifth while Lynn & Alex b*tch about how off their scales are. But they are ROYALLY screamed out of the market by everyone around!

As Team First Mom/Son get their ingredients in order, Team Fab Two go to another market and trade their just-under-3-kg fish for one WELL over 3. As such, they leave the market in sixth. Team Will Race For Food arrive at the PIT STOP as Team #4... and Team Socially Secure are lost. Debbie & Bianca finish their book haul in seventh and bolt to the PIT STOP. The shopping is done for Susan & Patrick as they leave in eighth.

At the PIT STOP, three teams are there: Team Socially Secure, Team Well-Traveled Babes and Team Fab Two. As soon as they find their way to the top of the stairs, Lynn & Alex are Team #5 (again), Debbie & Bianca are Team #6 and, after Gretchen stops on Meredith's suggestion to "fix his hair", the grandparents are #7 (which is "better than a sharp stick in the eye" according to Meredith).

The race for last is on as Megan & Heidi try to haggle for ingredients and Brian & Greg huff and puff the 86 books needed to complete the task. As Team First Mom/Son hit the mat as Team #8, the ladies plop down their goodies... and the bros stack up their books. The cabs are loaded, the passengers speed off... and the race is on! They arrive at the same time... and it's a foot race up the stairs!

A panting pair of people plop their posteriors on the PIT STOP with a plaster Poseidon peering at their pusses. And Phil announces:

"Brian & Greg,... you're Team #9!"

The victory, however, is bitter-sweet. A mere minute behind them are Team Cali Roomies. And, sadly, there's no "may be" about it; they're eliminated. It bums the bros that the ladies are gone... and Greg even CRIES about it. But the teams embrace and wish each other good luck.