Live Shows Heat 3
(C-Note: some of the acts that you are
about to read involve real danger in front of a live television audience. They were
designed, practiced, and supervised by professionals, taking the
contestants' safety into full account. They are extremely dangerous and
should NEVER be attempted anywhere, by anyone, at any time.)
Last week, it was disaster after disaster
after Forte after disaster. The popera act joins Innovative Force, Marty
Brown, and Angela Hoover in the semifinals. Another 12 dreamers are heading to Radio City
Music Hall... knowing full well that the clock may strike midnight on
them tomorrow. This time, the theme will be questions in honor of Cory
winning $60,000 on The Chase. Congratulations sir. And yes, Gordon
wants a piece.
Aerosphere Aerial Balloon Show (It's Aerial. It's Balloons. It's
a show, I guess): A balloon floats down with someone on a harness doing
twirls. He picks a women up by her neck and swings her a few times. Then
they land on the stage. That was the act.
Question: Does America have that much of a short attention span?
Chicago Boyz (Acrobats with a human jumping rope): They do
exactly what we saw in the audition, which is good if you like what they
did in the audition round. Except for the part where when they tumble
over the human jump rope kid that a guy lands on his foot wrong and is
incapacitated for the rest of the act. They didn't do that at the
Question: Will America deduct points for a clear technical error like
that (and other jump rope breaks)?
The Mitsi Dancing School (Chinese Technical Dancing): The
precision in this act (featuring arm waving combos) is so much better
than any other act we have gotten in the quarterfinals so far. However,
as we all know in the past, America would rather see 6 year olds be
human jump ropes than actual technical precision in their dancing.
Question: Will America get it? (Based on how all of the other
multi-cultural acts have failed to get past Round 1, and that we live in
a world of Bradley Coopers, I would say no.)
Kelsey and Bailey (A Girl and her dog): With a space age motif of
the Wizard of Oz, we get Bailey the dog standing on her hind paws,
giving Kelsey a high five, jumping through a human ring, walking through
Kelsey's legs, walking to the judges podium, standing on her hind paws,
giving Howard Stern a high five, walking off the judges podium, standing
on her hind paws, giving Kelsey a high five, jumping through a human
ring, walking through Kelsey's legs...I only had to type the first
phrase once, and then use copy and paste.
Question: Is America that hard up to see a dog act that they will vote a
very repetitive act through to the next round?
Brandon and Savannah (Brother and Sister Duo): They sang Imagine
Dragons' 'Radioactive', which was an appropriate song, because I thought
during the performance my ear drums were going to melt. The song was
completely the wrong choice, the key was too low, there was clearly a
clash of vocalists, the muddled band noise made me think that they
wanted to get sent to 3 Mile Island, and their outfits looked like they
just came back from a nuclear test there and were trying to contaminate
Question: Will America be drinking the same toxic Kool-Aid the judges
were clearly on when they saw this act?
Leon Etienne and Romy Low (Illusionists): We see someone get
jabbed with canes, then exit the wrong way and slide under a table,
revealing how the trick was done and revealing Nick Cannon under a table
in the process.
Question: Would having Zero Kazama from Silent Library come out with a
Mariachi Band equipped wuth a set of canes proceed to bludgeon everyone
on the stage with said canes be more interesting?
Deanna DellaCioppa (Singer): She sings Foreigner's 'I Want to
Know What Love Is). The song itself was ok, but what made the act was
all the lights being strung out on the stage, making her look like we
were in Venice and she was a marshmallow gondola swimming upstage. That
outfit did NOT look good on her and her wardrobe assistant needs to be
impaled by the canes in the last act and then dumped into the Venetian
Question: Will she get the same sympathetic audience vote that bailed
out Marty Brown last week?
David “The Cobra Kid” Weathers (Snake Charmer): He's trying to
kiss a cobra. The cobra seemed to be completely disinterested and spent
half the time trying to get off-stage to snack on a Heidi Klum amuse
bouche. Speaking of which, I was more amused when Howie tried to scare
the judges with a rubber snake.
Question: Will America bring them back just to see if David will throw a
cobra at the judges?
Jonathan Allen (Opera singer): He simgs 'The Impossible Dream'
from the Man of La Mancha. It's good enough, but you seem to be
comparing his performances with Johnathan Braden and Forte, which is not
a good sign for his chances to get much further in the competition.
Question: Will having 3 opera acts hurt Jonathan's chances this week?
Kenichi Ebina (Dancer): We FINALLY get the one thing I look for
in a dance routine: a story. We uses the moves to go through a video
game, and while we have seen all of his moves before, we've never seen
them incorporated this way. Well done.
Question: However, are there enough younger video game playing voters
out there to offset the general older age skewing audience that this
Jim Meskimen (Comic): He's doing a Benjamin Franklin skit and has
the audience twitter suggestions to him. He takes those suggestions and
does vocal impersonations of them suggested by the judges and the
audience. He gets better as the skit goes along, but I think Benjamin
Franklin may have been a bit too esoteric and over the head of a lot of
voting audience, though if he gets to the judges, I think he gets in,
pending on who he's up against.
Question: When Tom Cotter (who got to 2nd place last year using the
exact same styled act) sees this, will he be throwing one of his shoes
at the TV set?
Finally, the American Military Spouses Choir (Um...Choir. Duh)
sing Mariah Carey's 'Hero', using every military cliched visual aspect
you can find. I'm sure if they could have found a few retired generals
walking around the streets of Manhattan, they would have used them too.
The singing was vastly improved from their first audition, but I found
everything a little bit too over the top to really enjoy the
Question: We know America will vote them through, because they love this
spoon fed schmaltz. Will they get tired of this by week #3?
Going to the panel for this week...
Lee's Picks: Jonathan Allen, Deanna
DellaCioppa, Kenichi Ebina. Wild Card (Military Spouses vs. Brandon and
Savannah - Military Spouses wins).
Evelyn's Picks: Deanna DellaCioppa, Jonathan Allen, Brandon and
Savannah. Wild Card (Kenchi Ebina vs. Military Spouses - Kenchi Wins)
Chico's Picks: Deanna DellaCioppa, American Military Spouses
Choir, Jonathan Allen. Wild Card (Kenichi Ebina vs. Brandon & Savannah,
IN: Kenichi Ebina, Deanna DellaCioppa, Chico Alexander's Lonely Hearts
Club Band (American Military Spouses Choir)
WILD CARD: Jonathan Allen Vs. Jim Meskimen. Jim Meskimen gets in.
DARK HORSE SPOILER: Chicago Boyz
To see tonight's episode in its entirety,
or to apply to be a contestant on the next season, go to