Live Shows Heat 2
(C-Note: some of the acts that you are
about to read involve real danger in front of a live television audience. They were
designed, practiced, and supervised by professionals, taking the
contestants' safety into full account. They are extremely dangerous and
should NEVER be attempted anywhere, by anyone, at any time.)
Last week, 12 acts brought the talent.
Four of them - Branden James, Anna Christie, the KriStef Brothers, and
Collins Key - were magically harmonious and in balance. The others...
were just eaten alive by the greatest stage on the planet. AND WE'RE
JUST GETTING STARTED. Another 12 dreamers are heading to Radio City
Music Hall... knowing full well that the clock may strike midnight on
In the starter's box... a group of
dancing acrobats that prowess themselves to be an INNOVATIVE FORCE.
That's probably why they've called themselves... Innovative Force. They
say they have a few surprises in store for the judges. Let's see what
Missouri has brought forth tonight.
THEY SAY: Mel B loves their energy and
the business of the act. Howie says "So far.. YOU ARE THE BEST ACT OF
THE NIGHT!" ... Howard likes the mix of dance and athleticism. Heidi
agrees with everyone, giving them two thumbs up.
WE SAY: It's a lot of jumping and a lot
of cohesive twirling and, oh yeah, flying. SO MUCH FLYING. But there's a
saying out there. "You Gotta Believe (In Moderation)." It was all, if
you believe it, too much of everything and too much of nothing at the
same time. Is it good? Perhaps. Good enough to pass to the next round?
Let's see how the rest of the field does.
CIANA PELEKAI, coming off of little to no
audition footage, is next up. Her dreams of being the next Beyonce or
Christina have taken her from Hawaii to New York. She cites her biggest
fan... her grandmother. Hopefully she's going to sing out so loud,
they'll hear her back home. The song, "Next To Me" by Emeli Sande.
THEY SAY: Howie says that she has the
whole package. Howard agrees, but also says that she was straining and
was lost a bit. Heidi says she's a really good belter. Mel says that
she's got a huge range, but she didn't need the vocal histrionics.
WE SAY: Soundalike. She will still get
there someday, but not until her voice fully matures.
Keeping it moving with ALEXANDR MAGALA, a
man of power, agility, and guts. The native Moldovan is parlaying his
breakdancing skills into something that... well, his words, "In Vegas
the judges were scared. Tonight, they will be TERRIFIED." He's adding
FIRE to the mix. One wrong step could LITERALLY be his last. Suffice it
to say... ahem... Alexandr Magala is a trained professional. He's
consulted with experts. He's taken every precaution. And he has years of
experience in dangerous situations. DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES
THEY SAY: First of all, Howard...
Moldavia is a fictional country from Dynasty. Second... He LOVES the
old-school sideshow act. Heidi was thoroughly terrified, but called it
disgustingly good. Mel LOVED it, especially when he took his top off.
Howie says that Alexandr is what this show is all about.
WE SAY: He didn't think this act through.
I'm sure the first half was awesome, but I couldn't see it through the
smoke. As for the sword... walking on his hands and doing backflips...
was absolutely terrifying. I don't think America WANTS Alexandr to go
through this again. The good news.. He's going to be okay.
Up in the four-spot... Local talent...
New York's own pint-sized Italian Stallions STRUCK BOYZ. They've been
together for four years during dance school. Their greatest support
comes from.. their moms. They are the pride of Staten Island (C-Note:
and yes, they do look like they're from Staten Island). But can they
handle "Club Can't Handle Me"?
THEY SAY: Heidi says that they have a
huge fanbase. Mel says they're naughty and a lot of fun to watch. "Spot
on! YEAH!" Howie says that they're in a tough decision, just by being
dancers. Howard thought it was "disturbing guys your age HAVE abs." It's
good, but it was out of sync.
WE SAY: Way to court the young female
vote. ... and certain subsets of the OLDER female vote. They needed more
moves and less pimping to the ladies? Again, they have the potential to
be a top dance crew in this contest. But let's see how the field does.
Next up, the quiet, unassuming son of
Moscow, Idaho, BRAD BYERS. He's a very straight laced guy who doesn't
drink or smoke, but what he does with a sword will leave you speechless.
His brother will join him on stage for this act, which will involve him
driving over Brad with a 1000 pound ATV while Brad is lying on a bed of
nails. With the help of guide tracks. AGAIN... You keep your nails in
the shed. Let Brad play with his. DO NOT ATTEMPT!
THEY SAY/WE SAY: Mel B: "Ugh... WHY?!"
Our thoughts exactly. Moving on.
We're closing out the first half of the
show with a little talent we're safe in saying will see the next round.
We hope. KID THE WIZ and his magic hat are next. Straight out the Bronx,
he's pledged that this performance is going to be flaw free.
THEY SAY: Howie doesn't think it's that
great with the hat drop AND the fact that he's seen this before. Howard
wants to see him in a sneaker commercial. Heidi says he's got a lot of
charisma (C-Note: the parting gift), and that he amped up his game. Mel
says he's edgy, cool, and current.
WE SAY: You had me at the Michael Jackson
salute. You lost me at the hat drop.
We kick off the second hour with FORTE,
version 2.0. They met online... then one dropped out... then one joined
up sight unseen. When they join their voices together, it's magical. Now
to translate that magic into a performance of "Somewhere" from "West
THEY SAY: Howard says "Quality talent".
Heidi says they did that song justice. Mel B can't wait to see what
happens tomorrow, but she found it very "over-the-top dramatic". Howie
WE SAY: Ladies and gentlemen... the
competition is ON. Great underused song choice. Pitch perfect. Harmonic.
A LOCK for the next round.
It could be anyone next up, but one
person it WILL be is comedian ANGELA HOOVER, who loves the mimicry. She
gave it up to stay home with her kids. Tonight, she's going on stage
with the support of her family doing, among others, Mel B, Heidi, and
THEY SAY: Heidi and Mel B wonder if they
really sound like that. Mel thought she was funny. Howie didn't like the
material, but he loves the voices. Howard says that the material was
WE SAY: Her timing is impeccable. Her
voices are spot on. Singing's not bad either. She went far, but she
needed to go farther.
DAVE SHIRLEY was a street performer and a
stage magician. What he wants to do now is combine comedy with
technology. He's left his job as a teacher to pursue his dream, putting
his life, his family, and his livelihood in jeopardy, double jeopardy,
and final jeopardy. He dances with screen grabs of the judges... and
ends up with a bustier.
THEY SAY: Mel thought the idea was
genius, but the camera movements were off. He needs work. Howie loves
TellAvision more than this. Howard says he needed more precision. He
needs more practice. Heidi wasn't feeling this act.
WE SAY: For the love of god, why don't
you buzz the guy!
(At this point, I've thrown up my hands
and quit, leaving the "we says" to Gordon, Lee, and the Lovely and
This was just so....memorable...for the wrong reasons...that I have
to give whole blurbs on each act.
Innovative Force (Young Dancers): The act reminded me of one of those
chocolate molten lava cakes: when you get to the center, it's really
good, but it's really sloppy getting to that point. Yes, the stunts were
flawless, but the choreography to get there was boring and sloppy - just
like the cake without the fudge.
CIana Pelekai (Sings 'Next To Me' by Emeil Sande): The wrong song for a
number of reasons. #1. If you can't hit the notes to the point where you
have to drop the song down a full step down, you should avoid doing it -
and she did struggle on the high notes. #2. If you listen to the lyrics
(relationship) and see the age of the singer (12), it sounds very
disjointed - though we'll get so see a singer selecting a much worse
song later on down in the show. That being said, she does do a solid job
on the song, and as it was hinted earlier on, we're going to see some
train wrecks later on...
Alexandr Magala (Likes to eat swords and kill himself in the process):
The danger acts have a very small margin of error on the show: you make
a mistake and you're done. Alexandr makes 2 mistakes; 1. the act with
fire was a huge step backwards from his audition acts and 2. he slips up
twice, the second one forcing him to stop his act and getting the judges
to wince. We don't get to see him carted off to check for internal
bleeding, but his chances of advancing just suffered from cardiac
Struck Boyz (Little boys who dance): If Innovative Force was a Molten
Lava cake, then this was an upside down pineapple cake if the pineapple
was 80% water. The choreography was a mess, the spacing was completely
off, the isolations were sloppy and the body symmetry wasn't timed
correctly. And just as an aside to the choreographers: when guys of
legal age lift their shirt and show off their abs, it's funny and bound
to get the teenage girls screaming. When 10 year old boys lift up their
shirts and show off their abs on more than one occasion, it's creepy and
bound to have pedophiles everywhere get their fix on the NBC replay site
the next day.
Brad Byers (stops a giant high-speed fan with his tongue, and then lays
on a bed of nails while a four-wheeler drives over him.): Notice that
with the fan he stuck his tongue on the 'SAFE' side (the back side that
won't slice anything - yes, there is a safe side). And if you notice the
track, it was curved and steel supported, so anything being driven over
would not be touched. So besides the fact that Brad did the two oldest,
most boring, figured out tricks in the book, the act was fine.
Kid the WIz (Hat Dancer): DON'T DROP THE HAT! DONT DROP THE....nevermind.
Forte (Trio of opera singers singing 'Somewhere' from West Side Story):
This is an act that SCREAMS Vegas. The first (and maybe only) good act
of the evening - though I wonder why you aren't putting your clearly
best singer as the lead and the sidekicks on the side. Still, it's a
refreshing act - or maybe just because I was underwhelmed by what I saw
earlier. Unfortunately, the underwhelming is going to keep on coming...
Angela Hoover - Not nearly as funny as she was from the opening
audition. What made her funny in round 1 was that she went global. This
time, imitating the judges (and Christina Aguilera) was not only too
inside baseball, but it's not going to get the votes from people who
don't watch The Voice and I'm afraid more people are going to be left
confused than entertained.
Dave Shirley (Comedian / Street Performer): There needs to be a rule
that acts have to show that what they have is more impressive than what
they auditioned with. 4 acts would not have been allowed to perform, and
he would have been one of them. Not only were the jokes of him dancing
in various outfits NOT funny, but the sense of timing (which is vital to
this sort of act succeeding when you are using screens) was completely
off. You know what would be a fun act? Putting the screens and
electronics on the ground and running THAT over with the ATV from Brad
Marty Brown (Country Singer singing Shania Twain's 'Still the One'):
First of all, for anyone regularly reading my columns, you know how much
I detest male singers crooning songs done by female singers (and vice
versa). Second of all, if you're going to do that, you can't start the
song like you've had your crown jewels mutilated by a trash compactor.
This was just a brutal effort that's going to result in one of my
favorites being shown the door.
The Aquanuts: Like the danger acts, when you have something unusual, you
can't afford to have a slip up. One head bonk and unfinished
synchronized sequence later, I was wondering when they were going to let
the piranhas into the pool.
Tone Tha Chiefrocca (One Hit Wonder B-o-o-t-y- singer): In the world of
TV, you almost always want to have the best act in the rehearsals end
the show. So when you have this...act...end the show, this is all you
need to know about what the producers thought about these 12 acts. As
for the song itself; I'd appreciate it a lot more if it didn't seem like
Tone was on a bender listening to Sir Mix-A-Lot's 'Baby Got Back' before
he was inspired. Actually, if I listen Baby Got Back, maybe it will help
me forget the 2 hours that I just wasted.
OVERALL: ...I guess I have to write something here. It's going to be
Forte and 3 acts that don't deserve spots. This pains me to do this, but
here are our picks...
Chico's Picks: Forte, Innovative Force,
Tone the Chiefrocca. Wild Card (Struck Boyz vs Marty Brown, Marty wins)
Lee's Picks: Forte, Alexandr Magala, Ciana Pelekai. Wild Card (Tone vs.
Marty - Marty wins the Wild Card)
Evelyn's Picks: Forte, Tone the Chiefrocca, Alexandr Magala. Wild Card
(Innovative Force vs. Struck Boyz - Force Wins the Wild Card)
G-Money's Picks: Forte, Tone The Chiefrocca (Really?), Ciana Pelekai.
Wild Card (Innovative Force Vs. Marty Brown - Innovative Force wins the
To see tonight's episode in its entirety,
or to apply to be a contestant on the next season, go to