August 14, 2006

Chico: Hey there, I'm Chico Alexander, and I have a question... Can I ask my question?
Gordon: Just did. But ask another one.
Chico: Does THIS make me a bad person?
http://www.gameshownewsnet.com/cr_colbert.jpg
Gordon: Are you dreaming of Mr. Colbert taking over Chain Reaction?
Chico: Chain Reaction couldn't handle the coolness. Anyways, it's better than him holding up a board saying that we're on notice... speaking of which, from Somewhere in America, We Love to Interrupt is... on!
Gordon: Whoo hoo! I am Gordon Pepper, my partner is Chico Alexander, and...it's just us right now. Probably a side effect of everyone watching Text2Win.
Chico: Nope. That's just your problem.
Gordon: I love watching live shows where they reveal the answer before you call in.
Chico: Thank god it was only relegated to one city... Granted it's the biggest city in the country, but it's just one city. Moral of the story: Playmania... don't improve on perfection.
Gordon: Don't get me wrong. Playmania still has a TON of holes that need to be fixed. The games are still too vague and Mel and Shandi are still too shill and they don't offer enough money. However, Playmania, compared to Text2win, is Emmy-worthy material.
Chico: Next entry: Midnight Money Madness on TBS later this month. First off, though, we concentrate on the events of this Thursday, when a terrorist plot was halted before it got off the ground. Naturally, news outlets were all over this.
Gordon: Yes. Fortunately, the authorities on a number of different countries came through in the clutch. Unfortunately, that screws up flight plans, and hence, game shows.
Chico: Potentially. Things have eased at the nation's airports as of yesterday, even though they're still on a state of high alert. Wait times at RDU have lessened from an hour to 25 minutes for security screenings. But for a while, at least, we may have a case of "Who else/where else" for shows that are already taping.
Gordon: First of all, we at WLTI thank everyone involved in defusing the terrorist threat.
Chico: Very much so. It's their hard work that makes us able to do what we do here.
Gordon: Yep. So what shows have been affected?
Chico: Well, everything is in reruns now, so nothing big has happened, but let's take a projected look here... I need a big board.

Chico: The category: No Fear of Flying. Let's take a look at what COULD happen in the near future.
Gordon: Let's do so.
Chico: First off, shows that go to tape in both LA and NYC could look for more local people (hence the reference to "Who else/where else"). The Amazing Race may be severely hampered should it make another season. Treasure Hunters... well, that was probably burlap bagged.
Gordon: Or The Amazing Race could turn into the Amazing Cross Country Drive.
Chico: Contestant searches are in full-swing now, and they're road based, so I see no hamperage there.
Gordon: That shouldn't be affected now, but certain lower budgeted shows may do less of them in the future.
Chico: 1 vs. 100 taped this past weekend with a few of our friends in tow (good luck, guys!)... and some of them are flying in from out of town, so they may look to arrive in airports with lots of time and lots of patience.
Gordon: And at least one Price is Right Intern may have to go cross-country instead of fly.
Chico: Hope he has an iPod and a car kit. But again, this is just what COULD happen. We're not at all saying that it HAS happened. And most of this is worst case scenario.
Gordon: Speaking of 1 Vs. 100, we now have an official host for it.
Chico: Survey says.... Bob Saget. All I can say is... I could've seen worse choices than that. At least Bob has some presenting experience.
Gordon: Saget tops a field of hosts, including Mark DeCarlo and Billy Bush, to win the coveted hosting spot for NBC's newest potential cash cow.
Chico: Again, I could've seen worse choices... and lookie here, one of them just happened to be Billy Bush. Now NBC is in the business to surprise when it comes to choosing its game show hosts... Look at Howie Mandel.
Gordon: I actually think that Saget can do a good job. He has already hosted one VERY long-running show (America's Funniest Home Videos).
Chico: Yep. I can't forget that ending tagline: "Keep those cameras safely rolling." Classic. So yeah, I have high hopes for Mr. Saget.
Gordon: I think he can do a good job. I am sure our spies will give us a nice little report after their tapings have been completed.
Chico:  And as soon as we find out something, you'll find out something... because that's how we do. :-) And as for hopes... Certainly higher than Billy Bush, who's in a pissing contest with Dylan Lane so far as metrosexual game show hosts are concerned.
Gordon: You're just disappointed that Billy Bush didn't ask you to put your hand in someone's kilt
Chico: No, that's a fallacy. I was disappointed when MARK CURRY didn't ask me to put my hand up someone's kilt. Get it right.
Gordon: I'd personally be happier if it was up Adrienne Curry's kilt.
Chico: A former Brady would probably have issue with that, though... and he'd probably kick your butt about it. I mean, look what he did to Danny Bonaduce. :-)
Gordon: He sent him to a hideously deformed show, but that's another conversation for another time. Last week, Starface debuted. This week, 3 more shows debuted.
Chico: And I can only stand but one of them.
Gordon: Well, I'll tell you the one I stood for - Wild'N'Out, which returns for Season #3.
Chico: Thursday night, the home of freestyle comedy opened up again. And we're picking up right where we left off, bringing the jokes, upping the ante... It's just awesome. Good way to kill half an hour on Thursday night.
Gordon: Great way to kiss 30 minutes - AND - a very very funny show. My only quibble with it is that I would have liked to hear more punchlines - which I could hear if they weren't bleeped out. Will Smith made millions by keeping it clean. Certainly, Nick Cannon can do it as well.
Chico: Or you could just wait until the uncensored DVD comes out. And I have no doubt that that's coming as well. I mean this show is probably the only non-reality pretty-people show that's making a killing for the network here.
Gordon: That won't help me on the recaps. Besides, I shouldn't have to wait months after hearing a joke for the punchline.
Chico: You could make a pretty educated guess if you're accustomed to hearing bleeps. Speaking of which, we had another premiere... Flavor of Love 2
anyone? This show debuted to an audience of 3.3 million... and I was not one of them.
Gordon: We had bleeps and...poop, which would adequately describe the show.
Chico: What people see in this show... no idea. To its merit, the characters are livelier than those of "The Bachelor". Hence, the action is livelier. I have to give them that. Doesn't mean I have to like it.
Gordon: It's the love equivalent of hoisting up a piece of meat and telling 20 lionesses to go at it. This is all done in a clear glass caboose, which is driven by a blind man. Hence the draw of the people watching it when it evolves into the inevitable train wreck.
Chico: Way to milk a metaphor.
Gordon: Accurate though.
Chico: So tell me, how many digitally altered/staged dramma moments are we in for this year?
Gordon: Let's see...so far, we've had as the highlight (or lowlight, pending on how you look at it) of someone pooping on the stairs in the house. I think that says it all.
Chico: And how. Some classier poop comes in the form of "Celebrity Fit Club 4", which would be watchable.. were it not for my aversion to Celebrity ____ (except for Dancing with the Stars) ... and Carnie Wilson. Heh.
Gordon: I like the show. You have 8 people there with a purpose, and unlike previous seasons, you seem to have 8 normal (well, as close to normal as we are getting) people who want to take this seriously. This could be a fun installment - even with Carnie Wilson.
Chico: You sure?
Gordon: I've only seen one episode. I'll be sure after seeing 8 of them.
Chico: To me, at least, Celeb Fit Club is one of those shows that a) is really hard to mess up, and b) is on a bit too often. See, a good and a bad. It's okay in small doses, but that's just me. VH1, they like to do the quick renewal and the quicker airing. Which makes me wonder if they do indeed plan on making a WSoPC2, because if they did, we would've probably heard something of it. So far as I know, all I know is that they're looking for players.
Gordon: Nothing wrong with it as long as you have the market. In VH1's defense, they have had a string of winners as of late, between Celebrity Fit Club, Flavor of Love, and the World Series of Pop Culture. I think it's way too early to look for a renewal commitment from them. Wait a month or so.
Chico: Michael Davies is a story, though. Keep at it long enough, and you'll have a hit that doesn't have the word "Millionaire" in the title. Right now, he has three.
Gordon: Chain Reaction, World Series of Darts, and World Series of Pop Culture?
Chico: Yep. AND he doesn't have the ire of the Ultimate Blackjack Tour breathing down his back. GSN is being sued by the Ultimate Blackjack Tour for what they're calling "breach of implied contract."  Now is it me, or is something just a bit fishy with this story? First of all, the timing... How long is it before the UBT premieres on CBS?
Gordon: Fishy, as in, 'Oh look, we have a show coming up in a month! Here's some free publicity!' Sort of fishy?
Chico: Yeah, that sort of fishy. SECOND... the actual text of the release put out by UBT. If I can share it.
Gordon: please do
Chico: I'll just take a few glaring misappropriations out here...

Chico: And as an "oh by the way" line of text...

Chico: Now I'm no jurisdoctorate, nor do I claim to be an expert on legal matters, but I do have a discriminating eye when it comes to Press Releases designed to "get the public on our side". Now GSN calls the suit baseless and says that they will be "vindicated" in court. Judging from what a intellectual property lawyer in Manhattan has to say... I have no doubt that they will be. Can I share?
Jason: Sure go ahead.
Chico: ... oh, hey, it's our legal correspondent Jason Block. How you be?
Jason: Busy. Taking care of friends animals while they are away...in London no yet.
Chico: Anyway, the lawyer tells Mediaweek...

Chico: So this is basically what happens when you don't listen to Gordon's advice and forget to get the all-important piece of paper saying that you are the owner and proprietor of a concept.
Gordon: We seem to have hit this issue before. When you pitch something, you can only hope that someone doesn't twist a concept and rush it to air first. Should UBT have pitched it to GSN and should they show that they indeed have a patent on it, then GSN will be paying up - or at least settling it. If this was a ploy to get eyeballs, then The UBT may have problems, since the public always seems to backlash against those sorts of lawsuits.
Chico: Case in point: the Chair and the Chamber.
Gordon: Yep.
Chico: Both shows were hurt by negative press (and the formats didn't help either).
Gordon: Both shows stunk worse than 4 month old yogurt.
Chico: Eww... that's stanky. But yeah, there you go. It could go either way, or it couldn't go at all.
Gordon: We'll see in a few weeks who's been spinning it and who will be winning it.
Chico: But one thing is certain.. the timing of the suit throws the whole thing into scrutiny. Just ask Donald Trump :-)
Gordon: Well, yes and no. After the second season of Blackjack hit the air, you have to give the people some time to see what the lawsuits can and can not cover. I don't think we've seen most of this.
Chico: I have no doubt we haven't seen most of this. Just what we've seen begs question is all. And speaking of which, we'll get to some ho-age right after we DO THE NEWS!
Jason: Jackets! Mice!
Gordon: Roll that beautiful Brain Footage - but don't bust.
Chico: Or stay on soft 17.
Jason: Except in No Bust Blackjack!~
Chico: You stay away, Block.
Gordon: Keep Block away from the Beautiful Brain footage, please, Chico
Chico: I'm trying :-)
Jason: I am not a cooler. I am not a cooler.
Gordon: You're so cold, you're Vanilla Ice.
Jason: Fine, when we go to AC next. I'll stay in a different casino!
Gordon: I don't think it would help

Doug:  (impersonating Mark Thompson) From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, featuring the Award-Winning Brainvision News team.

 

Chico: First article.. before we go into full dozen Ocean's 12 mode...
Jason: LOL

Mike Douglas, legendary TV host and singer, has died. He was best known for his TV show, but had joined Kay Kyser on his "Kollege of Musical Knowledge" game. He was 81.

(silence)

Chico: Thank you. You will be missed, Mike. Next?
Gordon: Next up...

Are you going to be in the NYC area? Do you want to see Jeopardy Show #5,000? Well, now you can, as Jeopardy will be going to Radio City Music Hall for it's 5,000th show...

Gordon: ...which will also happen during a celebrity themed week.
Jason: Rock on!  They were there for #4000 too. Brad Rutter won his first Million then.
Chico: Right before number 4000.
Jason: Wonder what happened to Brad?
Gordon: Had some sort of encounter with some sort of Ken Jennings dude.
Chico: And is now the greatest Jeopardy! player alive... No matter what Ken Jennings' publicist says.
Jason: And hosts a quiz show in PA I think.
Chico: Next article...

So you think you can write the season six coronation single for the next American Idol? Well, here's your chance. The show is timing a songwriting contest to go along with the sixth season.

Jason: I think this will be another wrinkle that keeps AI6 fresh.
Chico: I have an idea... Gordon... you and me write the coronation single.. I mean, I've written a lot of stuff before. I'm sure you have in your day.
Gordon: You have a feeling this is due to 1. The backlash of audience reaction when the 2 singles were performed and 2. Said disappointing sales when the singes were released?
Jason: Yes and Yes.
Chico: Yes. Which is why I think we'd do a better job of it.
Jason: But you guys keep getting stuck on the rhymes with orange and month.
Gordon: Jason Block eats lots of porridge. When he eats too much, his face turns orange. He goes to the casino once a month and when we praise Bai Ling, he turns into a bunt.
Chico: Yeeahhhh, boyyyyy.
Jason: Yo Yo Yo. :P
Gordon: Well it beats cliched lyrics like 'Do I Make You Proud', doesn't it?
Jason: Bingo.
Chico: Now put it to a AC-friendly pop-rock beat :-)
Gordon: We can put a club track behind it. Even Paris Hilton has a club hit.
Jason: God help us all.
Chico: That sounds more like a hoe-down, actually. Next?
Gordon: What about a hate-down?
Chico: Who's hating who now?

This week's Haterade goes to the Dating Game Genre, which officially goes into hibernation for the next few years. Elimi-Date and Blind Date are now all done with new episodes, making those the last semblance of current syndicated dating shows to be on the air. The only place left for couples and drama is the Maury Povich show, Jerry Springer, Flavor Flav...and Chico's favorite show, The Bachelor: Rome.

Chico: AAAAAHHHHHHHH! *runs into wall*
Gordon: I love it when Chico does that. =)
Chico: Head still hurts...
Gordon: Neither The Bachelor nor Flavor of Love are syndicated.
Chico: Flavor of Love... not YET. The fix is in for celebreality in syndication.
Gordon: Flavor of Love still needs another few seasons...but it could happen.
Chico: Fall 2007, baby. Deal's already in place.
Gordon: A 30 episode syndication offer?
Chico: I don't get it either.
Gordon: Who is ordering it?
Chico: Debmar-Mercury. Read your site. And after that, I need to get Fully Loaded.
Gordon: Hic.
Jason: Firing up my circuit boards.
Chico: This week, in a rare Loaded/Ho crossover, it's Pat Sajak.
Jason: Pat Sajak get gamed.

Atari and Pat Sajak have teamed up to bring Lucky Letters to an (insert favorite video game store of your choice) near you with "Lucky Letters" for the PC.

Jason: I have played it online...it's very good.
Gordon: How does it work?
Jason: Pat Sajak's Lucky Letters combines the excitement of a game show with the challenge of a word puzzle. Are you fast enough and smart enough to beat Pat at his own game? Spin the slot machine and guess the Lucky Letters to win big. Keep an eye out for the Lucky Chances where you can double your money (if you are brave). Finish off the game by racing the clock to solve Pat's entire puzzle in the Lightning Round. Then, if you win 5 daily games in a row, Pat will invite you to play in a Championship Game! There, the clues and answers are tougher to guess - and the rewards are even higher!
Chico: Which begs the question that makes Pat a ho this week... "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"
Jason: The online game has only three games. The full version has a lot more bells and whistles. And you can play in single and multi player versions.
Chico: Ah. That would be why.
Jason: The online version is also at RealArcade.
Gordon: Can you spin up some hoes?
Chico: I can spin you a few, but you have the list, so... *plays "Area Codes"*
Gordon: In this week's Media Ho Report...

If you want to be a Nashville Star Ho, you can audition, starting in Atlanta on August 31. Ever hear the phrase Don't Let Your Babies grow up to be Nashville stars? Well, Brooke Burke and Kristy Swanson both have babies this week.

Chico: Buns in the oven, buns in the oven...
Jason: Mazel tov.

If Broadway is more your thing, 'You're The One That We Want', a show looking to case leads for the musical 'Grease' is coming your way.

Jason: Like they did in the UK for "The Sound of Music"

Meanwhile, Ice T offers America's Got Talent Judge David Hasselhoff rapping lessons. Cost - $5 million.

Jason: Ha.
Gordon: We have 2 pimp cups to give out. #1 - The Ho of the week...we go across the pond for this one. Des Lynam demands that his show Countdown move locales - and he GETS what he wants, thanks to the good ratings. That's Ho power, baby.
Jason: Ho power indeed.
Chico: Again, how someone can be both ho and pimp.
Gordon: #2 Ho of the Week - Flavor Flav. Like him or not, Flavor of Love Season 2's opening episode is the highest premiere episode EVER in the history of VH1. More ho power.
Jason: People love Flav...and pooping on the stairs.
Chico: If something stinks in here, it's me, because I'm the (^_^).
Gordon: But you can't say your Sh(^_^)t don't stink
Chico: True.
Jason: Oh well.
Chico: But still.. I am the (^_^). Believe it.
Gordon: And those...are your hoes.
Chico: Okay, that's Brainvision. Shut'er down.
Jason: Good mice. Jackets please.
Chico: Next up, doctors and daddies after the break. This is We Love To Interrupt. News that doesn't bite.... hard.

(Brainvision is powered by "Chapel Hill: The Real Orange County - the Complete First Season", now available on DVD.)

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