Game Show NewsNet

July 24, 2006

Chico: Hey, it's Chico Alexander, with some good news for the 154 of you who are fans of Game Show Marathon... your show isn't the laughing stock of the summer anymore!
Gordon: (coddles The One). There there now...it will be ok...the yanking off to ABC Family won't hurt that much.
Chico: Yes it will. It'll hurt and you'll like it.
Ryan:   The One already got dumped?
Tom:    Could be worse... could be FOX Reality
Gordon: It will hurt much more for the executives who planned to make this the summer hit of the season. oopsie.
Chico: It hasn't been dumped officially, but would you honestly be surprised if it was?
Ryan:   And I'm guessing this means that CBC won't be making a Canuck version...Poor Georgie Stromobolomonopoulous
Mike:   Mmmmm....stromboli
Tom:    George Stickasockinit?
Chico: No, his name is George FromSomewhereinAmericaWeLovetoInterruptison...opoulous.
Ryan:   correct spelling: Stroumboulopoulos. Would that work for Lingo?
Chico: Not in our dictionary, sorry.
Ryan:   Boo.
Mike:   That would take Jason Hernandez at least 2 turns to get. :-P
Jason: Maybe.
Chico: More on the giant goose egg the One laid in a bit, but first, intro of the panel!
Gordon: First up, the man who represents Brooklyn, Mr. Jason Block.
Jason: BK to the fullest.
Gordon: Next up, the man who represents Canada, Mr. Ryan Vickers.
Ryan:   Hey Hey Hey. Just biding my time until I play a game show for a crockpot...
Chico: Next, rep'n Cleveland, Mr. Mike Klauss.
Mike:   Howdy. (Man of few words right now)
Jason: Ok.
Gordon: And finally, representing Kansas City, Mr. Tom Gauer.
Tom:    Thank you. I just flew in from Burbank, and boy are my arms tired.
Mike:   *rimshot*
Chico: Boy are my everythings tired :)
Tom:    That never gets old.
Jason: No kidding. I am bushed.
Mike:   Tip the veal, try the waitress
Tom:    LOL. Oh you guys.
Chico: Okay, you're all probably wondering why the heck we're all tired. I'll tell you. Can I tell you?
Gordon: Go tell us, Chico
Tom:    Do tell!
Chico: Game Show Congress 5. Burbank Hilton. If you weren't there, you were nowhere.
Ryan:   Hey!
Gordon: So how was nowhere, Ryan?
Ryan:   I was somewhere!
Chico: Unless you're Ryan, and you were somewhere.
Ryan:   Thank you :)
Jason: We know, but you weren't at the best GSC yet.
Chico: But yeah, GSC5... best one yet. They had a little something for everyone...
Ryan:   Glad to hear that it went well.
Tom:    It was my third, and every year I keep wondering how they will top the previous one.
Chico: Let's start with the Congress proper, and we'll get to field trips later. That cool?
Jason: Cool.
Tom:    Jeez, this is only a 2 hour show, where do you start?
Chico: Two hours. We wish :)
Ryan:   Oooh! Oooh! WML?
Chico: We're getting there!
Tom:    After WLTI, of course... where do you start?
Chico: Starting with Thursday, we were blessed to have entertaining up... The Ceramic Dalmatians and their eclectic repertoire of game show theme music. My favorite performance: the $17,500 Pyramid.
Ryan:   How eclectic was it?
Tom:    Brilliance!
Ryan:   Are any of these audio files available on the web?
Chico: I wish. I'm going to have to scour Myspace like crazy.
Jason: This included all game show producers playing game show themes which they learned for 4 weeks.
Jason: Great stuff guys.
Chico: Very good indeed.
Ryan:   What?
Tom:    A great way to kick off the Congress.
Jason: They played music from game shows. TPIR and the like. The crowd ate it up.
Chico: the Ceramic Dalmatians comprised of the likes of Aaron Solomon, Mandel Ilagan, Dave Hammett, Chris Spilsbury and... Anyone know the last one? Bueller?
Gordon: Jonathan Bourne is the other person in the group
Mike:   Thank you for the Bourne's identity, Gordon.
Ryan:   *rimshot*
Chico: *wah wah wah waaaaaah&*
Ryan:   Homer Simpson: "Hey, this thing writes itself!"
Mike:   I can go to bed right now if you don't like my sleep-deprived puns. :-P
Chico: Anyway, after that, we had a tribute film to Jan Murray, Peter Tomarken, and Nipsey...
Jason: And then the opening game of the GST...The Price is Right hosted by Travis Schario.
Chico: Then Match Game hosted by the Game Show Man, Joe Van Ginkel. And finally Deal or No Deal hosted by the round-headed kid over there :)
Gordon: You talking about me?
Chico: We're saying good things, Gordon. No worries.
Gordon: For a change.
Jason: LOL
Tom:    An exceptionally above average job of hosting. Mr. Pepper did a fine job, as always.
Gordon: Kudos to my Brooklyn alter ego, Jason Block, for playing a mean old banker.
Jason: GRRRRR....it was a blast.
Chico: A superlative team. Competition continued into the next day, while we also had the Game Show Tournament by day, and What's My Line Live by night.
Gordon: What's My Line was a special treat, as we got to see our friend Frank Nicotero from Street Smarts, Price is Right Model Gabrielle Tuite and Partridge Mom Shirley Jones.
Tom:    Best Part----BETSY PALMER!
Mike:   Teresa Ganzel was amazing too.
Chico: The panel was just amazing...The first contestant.. easy to look at.. but hard to follow mentally. Of course, it helps that she is one of Barker's Beauties. Her line: owns a tanning salon... I'd buy that.
Mike:   With Brooke Burke. Mrow!
Chico: My thoughts exactly. She stumped the panel: Stuart Shostak, Frank Nicotero, Betsy Palmer and Sarah Purcell.
Tom:    Was Gabrielle brought in just for our benefit, do you think?
Jason: Yes :)
Chico: Became the first person in... three days... to stump a panel.
Mike:   Two days. I forget the last person to stump the panel...oh yeah, Leonard Maltin. O:-)
Gordon: My fans. How they all adore me.
Chico: Then they brought out a contestant from the original What's My Line who was a girdle tester.
Mike:   Jean Raymond. A good contestant.
Chico: And then there was the matter of someone else who stumped a panel a couple of days prior? But more on that later. Mystery guest that game...Shirley Jones.
Jason: Come on Get Happy.
Tom:    Shirley Jones.... loved the way she played up the falsetto voice. Just like the old days.
Jason: She still looks good.
Chico: Totally. She's very well-kept.
Tom:    For that matter, so did Ms. Purcell and Ms. Palmer.
Chico: Again, very well-kept.
Jason: Marty Ingels...not so much.
Chico: That was a good round of WML. Then comes Saturday, the day everything else happened.
Tom:    It was a whirlwind of activity.
Gordon: We start the event off with more game show tournament fun...while having testing for 1 Vs. 100
Tom:    Uh, just the test for "1 vs. 100"
Chico: Did we mention the contestant application? I think we should throw in a mention for that. That application for 1 vs. 100... I think I spent less time reading "The Da Vinci Code."
Jason: lol
Tom:    The test wasn't all that difficult.
Mike:   How did your drawing of yourself turn out, Chico?
Gordon: Were they looking for your first born child as well?
Chico: Yeah, I had to submit a sample after drawing myself, taking a test, and proving that I was not related by blood or direct lineage to Scott St. John.
Jason: They took mine...and I dont have one.
Ryan:   And they have to get 100 people for each episode? Yikes. Seriously, just cast the "1" and be done with it...
Tom:    Uh, I loved the "1 vs. 100" process. It was one of my fondest memories. I would love to fill out the whole application again.
Chico: Really... how'd your tryout go?
Tom:    Not so much a tryout, as a run through. I don't believe they were watching all 100 contestant hopefuls, just three people. They were still tweaking the game, and I think needed some bodies.
Chico: ah
Tom:    A "Million Dollar Winner" tells me, during his run through, the show auditioned Mark DeCarlo as a host.
Gordon: Another birdie tells me that we had as someone else trying out as a host...and please remain seated...Billy Bush
Chico: Oy.
Tom:    And vey!
Mike:   If Billy Bush hosts, must the 1 put her hand under the kilts of 100 strangers to win the big money?
Jason: Oh...my.
Gordon: You get 100 times the number of salamis you can find under their kilt, Mike.
Mike:   Thank you for that lovely thought, Gordon.
Chico: Well, before we're stuck filling out the nine page app AGAIN...We had the hosts/announcer panel with Sarah Purcell, Larry Anderson, Burton Richardson (who's a VERY nice guy), Laura Chambers, and Johnny Gilbert.
Tom:    JOHNNY ROCKS!
Jason: Johnny is the man.
Chico: Next on the list...Tic Tac Dough reunion! How cool was that?
Tom:    Again, how many highlights can you have in an event?
Chico: Back to TTD, though. We heard the story, and then Joe took on Thom McKee... and tied.
Mike:   Joe missed Chicago. Tsk tsk.
Tom:    Memories of last year's Concentration reunion game. Also ended in a tie.
Gordon: A special thanks to Thom McKee for being a gentleman and not splattering Mr. Van Ginkel across the pavement like a slab of tar.
Chico: Although he could... if he wanted to. Then, Bob Harris' "Prisoner of Trebekistan" reading. Good read, that.
Tom:    Incredible.
Mike:   It's a definite must want.
Jason: Great story teller
Tom:    The reading was a very nice touch to the events, I thought. Something completely different, as they say.
Chico: And then, after the Smarty Pants competition that was won by Ed Toutant...
Gordon: For the 83rd straight year...
Mike:   I held my own for two questions. :-P
Chico: ...Charity Buzzer Battle, where teams or players can ring in for some serious swag benefiting AIDS Research Alliance. We were represented boldly and with honor by Gordon, Travis Schario and Ben Ziek... Unfortunately, we didn't win.
Tom:    But a valiant effort, nonetheless.
Gordon: Jason was also on another team...but alas, he also didn't win.
Chico: Jason played with Nancy Christy and... David Whitley.
Tom:    Burton Richardson is in fact, a true gentleman, and helluva nice guy.
Mike:   Burton saying "Alter Cockers" was a highlight of the weekend.
Chico: Yes it was. That and "Biotches."
Tom:    Had to love, "The Biotches."
Chico: Lots of stuff, and that was only Saturday. Then comes Sunday, when a few of us decided to get together and put on one of these things we call... WLTI the Live Show.
Jason: Which rocked the house I might add.
Tom:    A "Very Special Edition" of WLTI
Chico: After the WLTI was the industry panel, where, among other things, Gordon's State Of Play was brought up... even though the question was never really answered.
Gordon: It was answered - unfortunately, the answer was that they like the beautiful people playing the game.
Chico: Grr.
Tom:    That's the nature of the beast today, I'm afraid.
Chico: That bothers me a bit.
Jason: Double Grr.
Gordon: And the fact that beauty was looked at just as much - if not more so - than playability should have some of us concerned. I'll be having an SOP on me playing the Devil's Advocate this week.
Jason: Wow. Cant wait to read it.
Chico: Cool deal. And then, the Legends Luncheon, honoring Peter Marshall and Mark Itkin for their work inside and out of the game show realm.
Jason: Peter looks amazing.
Chico: A class event with a class lineup.
Mike:   Peter looks fantastic. I can't say the same about Henry Polic II.
Gordon: Polic looking for work and actively asking for it...sad.
Jason: Yipe.
Chico: Rose Marie was there giving her respects, and of course, Peter was amazing.
Mike:   God bless Rose Marie. She doesn't appear to be in great shape.
Chico: But props to her for having the courage to pay her respect.
Tom:    Did you know Betsy Palmer winged the entire into to Peter Marshall?
Jason: No...that's a pro.
Chico: I had no idea.
Tom:    She knew nothing about it until a few minutes before she got up to do it.
Chico: That was really cool.
Mike:   She made everything look effortless last weekend, almost like second nature.
Tom:    And she told me she hates playing those games, because she's a terrible player.
Chico: Heh. But the point is that she was up there, and she was amazing.
Gordon: Absolutely.
Tom:    Ms. Palmer is one charming, remarkable lady.
Chico: After the luncheon, the finale of Game Show Tournament 3: Mike Burger's Game Show Round.
Tom:    WOO HOO!
Chico: I'm trying to build it up here!
Jason: Mike Burger's machine. Great stuff. The Flexors...after a 3 yr battle...finally got their win...and plaques!
Tom:    But the only plaque our team got is on our teeth.
Mike:   You can't beat the Suchards. You can only hope to contain them.
Chico: That's not what the Parking Spaces said last year.
Tom:    While Cousin Chico and I went down in flames in the first round.
Chico: But trust me... the Knights of Luggature will be back...And we will be angry.
Mike:   Yes, we went down early but we got a neat parting gift. All those "winners" got Izze. We got a signed 11x14 of Ken Jennings.
Gordon: Congratulations to Jeff Suchard, Julie Suchard, Steve Kastenbaugh and...David Legler. Anyone remember him?
Chico: Dude from 21. Yeah, I remember him.
Jason: Has game. Lots of it.
Tom:    I flew back to Kansas City with him. Mr. Legler is a "Playa".
Gordon: Legler, who won over a million in 21, shows that he still has it and could majorly kick some game show ass. How scary would it be if any of those people got on any of the new shows?
Chico: Very scary. Almost intimidating. Almost.
Jason: I hope they do.
Tom:    Legler tried out for "1 vs 100"
Chico: Just ribbin' ya guys. You know I got love for ya. 'kay, Block, you had an announcement of sorts before we get into field trips...
Tom:    (drumroll under)
Jason: Ladies and Gentlemen....GSC 6's Bill Cullen Award winner for 2007 has already be announced...he is WINSTON "WINK" MARTINDALE!!!!!!!!
Tom:    (thunderous applause!)
Chico: Start saving your pennies, Kids, GSC6 is next summer... Meanwhile, we'll entice you with some field trips. Gordon?
Gordon: I can't tell you about next year's field trips. but I can tell you about this year's trips. Starting on Wednesday, our group went to Castle Park for the first annual tournament of...Extreme Mini Putt Putt!
Mike:   Extreme Mini Putt Putt? I was helping Jason move out of his place in 110 degree heat while you guys were playing miniature golf?
Jason: Yes!
Tom:    (sotto voce) Mr. Pepper steps up to the green examine his lie.
Gordon: The combatants were Chico, Jason, Ben, Myself, Tim 'Loogaroo' Connolly and Aaron 'Plinko Boy' Huertas.
Chico: The winner...
Gordon: by 1 stroke....me. YAY!
Tom:    (thunderous applause!)
Chico: Woopee. He has the picture, folks.
Mike:   Huh huh huh. Gordon said "stroke me". Huh huh huh.
Gordon: I'll have to defend it next year
Tom:    sorry (thunderous golf claps!)
Gordon: We continue on Wednesday night, where we have the panel stumped by...one hunky guy.
Chico: Leonard Maltin?
Gordon: Me, you goofballs!
Jason: You stumped Bil Dwyer and Andy Zax...very cool.
Mike:   Gordon was there?
Gordon: Grumble...
Chico: Oh yeah. The panel was Andy Zax (who tried, unsuccessfully, to call you out), Debra Wilson, Bil Dwyer, and Teresa Ganzel.
Ryan:   How did you end up getting the gig Mr. Pepper?
Gordon: I sent host J. Keith Van Stratten an e-mail, telling him one of my part time jobs - which is a certified bowling alley inspector. J. Keith thought it was a great idea, and invited me down to the WML the week of GSC. I got to see the nice backstage, and everyone was very nice. Then when I came out, the panelists...didn't get much. After everything was said and done, they figured out that I worked in a building, and that was around it.
Jason: We loved it.
Chico: Amazing.
Tom:    And for stumping the panel, Mr. Pepper receives...
Jason: Tickets to the Acme Comedy Theater! (rimshot)
Chico: And a CD of smooth jazz from RemoPacker.com
Gordon: Don't forget a clicky pen
Chico: And a clicky pen.
Jason: It was a lot of fun...and after that was fun too.
Chico: Afterwards: improv jam.
Gordon: After that, we all improved!
Chico: You saw the best of the best... and me... take on the locals in... well, sex vs. brainpower basically.
Gordon: The higlights of the improv included Chico being a bear, Ben Ziek being a Mac, and...
Jason: you being Waldo! :)
Gordon: I portrayed Waldo the comic book character having a nervous breakdown after dealing with an identity crisis
Chico: Say it once for us, Gordo.
Gordon: I CAN'T WIN!!!!
Chico: *applause*
Jason: (applause)
Chico: Thursday's trip?
Gordon: On Thursday, we had a taping of sorts - the first 3 episodes of the new season of Wheel of Fortune!
Tom:    Now, in color!
Mike:   Superb shows, only made better by being shown in high definition.
Tom:    oops... I mean, NOW in HI DEF
Chico: And with sprinkles. No, seriously. With sprinkles.
Mike:   I don't think they could've found a better set of nine contestants for the first three shows of the new season.
Tom:    What a way to start the season!
Jason: Unreal stuff.
Gordon: The best part was that the contestants played great, and it showed - in 2 of the three shows, the second placed person walked off with over $20,000 worth of goodies.
Tom:    They're gonna have cut the number of original shows this season, they're so far over budget.
Chico: Oh yeah. and we came up with a term for someone who pulls a puzzle from their ... err.. rear iris.
Mike:   Suppositorily solved!
Gordon: Someone was able to suppositorally solve a bonus puzzle. 3 Days. almost $250,000 given out.
Mike:   Two people did, really. First and third shows.
Chico: You'll see all this week of September 11.
Jason: Watch and be amazed.
Chico: You may see a few of our faces as well... Good or bad thing? You decide. :)
Tom:    And then a month later, you'll see our faces on TPIR
Chico: MONDAY... The Price is Right.. .Chalk up another victory made possible by Game Show Congress.
Mike:   Us Congress attendees were scattered throughout the studio, with a few directly behind where the winning contestant's family members and/or friends stand during the bonus round.
Tom:    Yes, a fortune in fabulous prizes given away, with the help of GSC members.
Jason: Watch October 5 to find out.
Chico: And then Tuesday... Disney!
Gordon: On Tuesday, we took the annual trip to Disneyland
Chico: Once again, Space Mountain rocks my face.
Gordon: Tons of fun, as always
Jason: Big time.
Chico: Totally.
Mike:   Jason Hernandez and I stayed at home in the morning, went to a baseball card shop in the afternoon, and then the Indians/Angels on Tuesday night. I pulled a Jim Brown autographed card, so there's my profit from the trip.
Tom:    While I sat at LAX, after the tower went black.
Chico: and what did you do that next day while the rest of us were hauling mattress down the 105?
Mike:   What did I do? Jason, a friend of his, Tim Connolly, and yours truly attended the season premiere of some little show called Deal or No Deal.
Chico: How long was the taping supposed to last?
Mike:   About 3 hours. Emphasis on "supposed to last"
Chico: How long did it end up lasting?
Mike:   8 hours. With no air conditioning. I'm gonna create a shirt that says "I sat through 8 hours of Deal or No Deal with no air conditioning and all I got was this lousy ball cap."
Jason: LOL
Mike:   The show was good but most everything was reshot multiple times, up to a dozen times.
Tom:    No A/C?
Mike:   No A/C
Tom:    In a studio?
Mike:   On a stage at Culver Studios, yes. The first game had the better game play and the obligatory "surprise". The second game had the better contestant.
Chico: That's actually heading up the news, but first, big question time... One thing you took from Congress...
Tom:    You mean the towels from the Hilton?
Chico: physical or metaphysical.
Gordon: I took away from GSC the thought that as different as we all are, when we converge at the congress, we are all family.
Chico: Good deal. Block?
Jason: I took away that the Congress is bigger and better every year...and that is due to the teamwork of everyone involved....and the fans who come.
Chico: Tom?
Tom:    It's a shame more people don't attend, because GSC is truly a rockin' event. And that's only partly because of the seminars, reunions, etc.
Chico: True. Mike?
Mike:   Mine's a two-parter. First, how can I top what they said? If you regret not attending the Congress in previous years, start saving your coins for '07. Second, I came away with the feeling that today's producers (see St. John, Scott) need to see how the old school of producers found contestants. Jason Block has a great argument pro-players who know the game.
Jason: The argument was shared by Gordon Pepper. We both had the same idea.
Mike:   It's a perfectly valid argument, one which should be addressed to these producers who think T&A makes good game play.
Gordon: Id also like to point out that we had a lot of newbies this year. The thing that made me the happiest is that they are the 18-30 something demographic. The ones I spoke to are definitely coming back - and they are bringing friends. Now THAT'S the way to garner an audience for this sort of thing.
Chico: I think everyone did. :) Alrighty. Ryan, you're just left to say "GSC6, Summer 07, Burbank Hilton, it's on like Donkey Kong, bitches. and let's do the news."
Mike:   Biotches!
Gordon: Roll That Beautiful Brain Footage, Biotches!

D oug: (impersonating Mark Thompson) From the four corners of your globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, featuring the Award-Winning Brainvision News team.

Chico: Thanks, Doug.

(Thank you.)

Chico: Scary. First up, Gordon?

If you liked the Summer fare on NBC, you're in luck. America's Got Talent will be back in mid-season, while Last Comic Standing will be around next summer.

Mike:   I do believe someone called AGT last week...Gordon?
Ryan:   Say what?
Mike:   Gordon predicted it would be back midseason.
Jason: Yes he did.
Gordon: I did indeed. I am just hoping that 1. They don't milk it dry and 2. They don't put it up against American Idol, where it is sure to get demolished.
Chico: I don't think they'll do it. Amazing Race, maybe, but not Idol.
Mike:   Would AGT really go against Cowell's other show? No way.
Chico: Simon Cowell is not dumb.
Jason: No he isn't.
Mike:   And now Gordon will divulge tonight's Powerball numbers.
Gordon: The Powerball Numbers will be....2.13.25.27.34. The magic number is 48. Should I be wrong, don't go sending me a banana cream pie in the mail.
Should I get it right, then I want a cut.
Jason: LOL
Chico: I'll hold you to that. I'm stopping by the gas station tonight. Next up...
Tom:    NBC isn't exactly bursting at the seams with hit shows... so countering IDOL with AGT could be in the cards.
Gordon: The problem is that AGT is a nice Summer Show. It doesn't have the staying power against the Winter shows and it will get demolished against Idol. Next one?

While we're on NBC, mark your calendars for September 18. That's when Deal or No Deal's second season premieres... with a week's worth of shows... and a possible prize pool of $22 million.

Mike:   $22,000,000? You don't say!
Chico: No, Deal or No Deal. You Don't Say hasn't been on since the 70s.
Mike:   You're better than that.
Jason: The big prize at the end of the week...$6M
Tom:    A whole week of "Deal". Wow.
Mike:   Including a two-hour season premiere!
Chico: Well, Four shows.
Tom:    NBC's idea, I'm sure.
Gordon: Let's see...4 shows...average of 2 contestants per show...$22 million divided by 8...besides the 6 milliona, we have grand prizes more than 1 million again, don't we?
Chico: If I may quote my favorite philosopher, Marge Simpson? "This night is already special. If you make it any more special, it becomes less special."
Mike:   At least one person here was in attendance for that show, and is located in "the pit", which is the audience section between the contestant area, the catwalk, and the game board. And Howie said there would be more "surprises" this season. There was one in the first show.
Chico: Oh great. More "Surprises." More surprises... more Deal... NBC hasn't learned a damned thing, have they?
Mike:   Well, this surprise wasn't a pony or a Hummer
Tom:    I hear the virginal sacrifices have to wait until November
Gordon: I really don't like the direction that NBC is going with this. If they keep stuffing the Golden Goose, you're soon going to having nothing left but a huge steaming pile of Foie Gras.
Chico: Yummy.
Jason: I love Foie Gras...not healthy but delicious.
Tom:    But I like Foie Gras.
Gordon: I do too, but not as an end result of an internal combustion.
Jason: True.
Gordon: Breaking news...

ITEM! Staffers say, "1 vs 100" will begin taping in August, for a September launch.

Chico: Oh crap... which means I owe Alex Davis a shave. You win. There. Happy?
Gordon: The official taping dates are August 9th through 13th.
Chico: On that note. Next?

Welcome to Haterade Corner. We can't have all of this good stuff without some bad, and this is pretty bad. The One's Ratings - only the worst debut ever
from ABC and second in tv history. The question is not if, but WHEN it gets shipped off to ABC Family...or the internet...or worse.

Jason: What were the numbers?
Chico: 3.1 million. That's roughly the population of five Charlottes. I think.
Gordon: Or one third of a repeat of House.
Jason: And was this on a Wed or Thursday?
Chico: This was on Tuesday. Wednesday... was even worse.
Gordon: HOW BAD WAS IT?
Chico: 1.3/2.... WAY behind Criminal Minds
Jason: Holy....
Gordon: Wow.
Chico: Do the math in your head. And I'll wait for your jaw to stop hitting the floor.
Tom: a 2 share!
Gordon: Are we sure that The One doesn't represent the number of people who are going to stick around to see the last episode?
Chico: Tom, you're in the business. What does that mean in layman's terms?
Tom: That means, of all people watching TV at that time, only 2-percent were watching "The One". That's awful, even by WB standards. Almost PAX numbers.
Chico: DAMN! Pax numbers?
Jason: Yup.
Gordon: We have a VERY early entry for next year's Zonk Show.
Chico: Time to take this show out back if you ask me. someone get my BB gun. I want to get Fully Loaded.
Jason: (Tosses BB Pellets)...lets do it.
Chico: Going to a show that people actually watch...

Big Brother All-Stars is now available on iTunes. PokerFace is everywhere in the UK... your cell phone... online... even the home game.

Gordon: You sure, based on this Summer ratings, that people are actually watching Big Brother?
Jason: Heh.
Chico: Oh yeah, people are actually watching it.. just not as much as last year. I think America has seen more James than she needs. I'd say more Janelle as well, but... come on, it's Janelle.
Gordon: I've said this 18,000 times. A show that brings back people who have already played the game DOES NOT WORK. The first thing they do? Get rid of the geniuses. Now that Nakomis is gone, only one person who actually knows how to play is Will, and when (not if, but WHEN) he is booted, the show will now be completely unwatchable.
Chico: Now it's just a matter of looking at pretty people... and George. Where will we get our latest batch of ho-heroes, though?
Gordon: Super Hos!
Chico: *plays "Area Codes"*.... I got hoes... in different Area Codes... okay, that's enough.

In this week's Ho-dometer, we start with newbie hoes. We had a Superhero Party for Who Wants to be a Superhero, while 'Show Me the Money' and 'Sabotage' are looking for Hoes.

Tom: Do we know anything else about "Show Me the Money"?
Gordon: It's a game based on luck and no skill is required. Sound familiar?
Jason: Fox,...or no Fox....
Tom: hmmmm, let me think. NO FOX

Here are some 'Ho Me The Money' audition dates: July 21 - Vegas, July 22 - Dallas, July 26 - NYC AND Nashville, and July 29 - LA

Chico: We should also mention that Dick de Rijk was sentenced to... ... what was he sentenced to on We the Jury during the live show?
Gordon: Making Cop-ays. Meanwhile, we have audition dates if you want to be the next American Idol. Anyone want those?
Jason: I may go July 26...for research purposes.
Gordon: So it has Noooothing to do with you wanting to be a contestant on the show?
Jason: Just a lil...
Gordon: uh-huh.
Jason: $3M is tasty.
Chico: I'd say so, yeah.
Tom: I'll loan you Cousin Chico. So, when did THREE million become the amount du jour?
Chico: No idea. Of course, for research... Idol dates, please.

Idol dates - August 8 - LA, August 11 - San Antonio, August 14 - East Rutherford, August 21 - Birmingham, Setember 3 - Memphis, September 8 - Minneapolis, and September 19 - Seattle. Meanwhile... You can see NEW hoes on your TV as we make announcements - Dancing With the Stars 3 Shows up on September 12, America's Next Top Model 7 prances down the Runway on September 20, and Chico's FAVORITE Show rears it's head on October 2. Chico Loooooves...The Bachelor: Rome.

Jason: LOL
Chico: I want to f(^_^)ing hurt Mike Fleiss... and if anyone from legal is watching.. no I don't.
Gordon: Would you rather watch The Bachelor or The One?
Chico: I'll go off the board and say "The Benefactor."

As far as hoes - we have Jillian Barberie, Stephenie LaGrossa, Jen Murphy and C-H-U-C-K Woolery all getting married...

Chico: Not necessarily to each other. That would just be silly.
Tom: Except in Utah.

While Dave Navarro calls it splittsville with Carmen Electra. Speaking of couples, we see the 11 couples of the New Amazing Race season, which include Indians, Chinese Brothers, Muslims, a Gay Couple, Miss USA Contestants, a woman with an artificial leg, and our traditional stereotypical Dating Couple and models.

Tom: Methodists?

Meanwhile, Supernova the original band sues Supernova the Mark Burnett creation to stop using their name. I would personally sue to get Rock Star off the air.

Chico: You too?
Tom: Here, Here.

Chris Daughtry and Kellie Pickler both sign contracts, while Nashville Star will have a 5th season of country hoes.

Jason: My dad and I love Nashville Star. It can be as good as AI at times.
Tom: It's a ho down.

More hoes as Top Chef gets a renewal, and Star Tomorrow, an internet ho contest, gets underway on July 31st. It starts on NBC before moving to NBC.com

Gordon: FINALLY, our ho of the week is another couple...ROMBER!
Chico: AGAIN, DADDY?
Gordon: Rob and Amber Mariano (remember them) now have another reality show. This one in the 'Couples' vein as Amber supports Rob with her love (and money) while Rob decides to be a professional poker player.
Jason: Shoot me now.
Chico: And it's on Fox Reality. Hi, Bob Boden! :)
Jason: Hi Bob!
Tom: I want' Rob's gig.
Gordon: As much as I hate to say this, this one could draw the ratings for FOX Reality.
Jason: I agree with Gordon. People love Romber.
Gordon: Don't forget that although it may only draw a little all the show needs to be considered a hit is to draw a little.
Chico: Let's see them draw their way onto my cable box first...and no I don't need a hug!
Gordon: Sure you do.
Chico: Congrats, Rob & Amber. Maybe you'll move to Fox once you decide to have a baby.
Gordon: And those...are your hoes. I'm walking it off.
Tom: Thank you Gordon Pepper.
Chico: Finally...

Speaking of...Top Model story editors have walked off... the job, that is, in protest of their working conditions while editing the seventh season.

Jason: Which could delay it's debut on CW. Not good.

WGA's side: "They want a guild contract, but their employer won't give it to them. This is how they are showing their solidarity." Ken Mok, EP of Top Model... the classic "No comment."

Gordon: If you remember in a State of Play last year, we had an article on the guild and how, should the guild get into reality shows, that it could change the face of reality programming forever?
Chico: Welcome to the beginning of reality eating itself.
Jason: We saw this coming.
Tom: Visionaries, all of you.
Gordon: This is going to be a VERY interesting case, and something that we will keep an eye on and tell you how this could affect what you are watching.
Chico: And that's Brainvision. Shut 'er down before we get into MORE trouble.
Jason: Shutting down.
Chico: When we return, pictures... and music... no it's not MTV. This is WLTI, the show that calls its mom every Sunday
Tom: good night Arlene.

(Brainvision News has been brought to you by the Summer Season of Vaporware Television! We start with Celebrity Cooking Showdown, then move to The Will and Finally, The One! And in our internet showcase, the first shows that have been relegated to the Net - My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss, Forever Eden and Playing It Straight!)

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