June 26, 2006

Gordon: This is Gordon Pepper, and I am wondering what you would have preferred to watch this week - Master of Champions or the latest in goat porn?
Chico:  I've seen Master of Champions... Trust me. I'd go for the porn.
Gordon: Baaaaaaah
Jason:  Hey...I watched Game Show Marathon's version of Match Game 73...and I would go for the porn too.
Chico:  That manner of bestial violation can only mean one thing...
Gordon: From somewhere in Chico Alexander's Goat Garden, WLTI...is...on!
Jason:  Baaaaa
Chico:  Good Saturday morning to ya, Chico Alexander here.
Gordon: And let's see what gruff guests we have on this show, starting with the gruffest goat here, Mr. Jason Block
Chico:  He really is the gruffest goat.
Jason:  Rough week watching Treasure Hunters and America's Got Talent...I am feeling very gruff.
Chico:  I can understand that.
Gordon: Next up, the Southern Grit goat, Mr. James Dinan.
James:  Howdy y'all...Big Brother All-Stars...I'd like a recount, please
Gordon: Youd rather see goats in the house, I take it?
James:  I'll explain when we discuss the show
Jason:  Ok.
Gordon: Next up, our Canadian Correspondents - from Millionaire, Mr. Don Harpwood. What do they call goats up in Canada?
Don:    Um, goats.
Ryan:   *applauds*
James:  More like, "goats, eh?" :)
Gordon: And that's our cultural lesson for today.
Chico:  And finally, the goat that strayed from the flock only to come back... for the right amount, America's favorite Canadian TV star, Ryan Vickers.
Ryan:   Thanks very much!!! It's been a great game show week for me! Shall I explain?
Gordon: please do.
Ryan:   Well, on Monday morning, I got an email to try out for a new TV trivia game show called "Inside the Box"
Jason:  Sweet!
Don:    Cool!
James:  Congrats
Chico:  Nice
Ryan:   And apparently I did well, because they picked me as a contestant RIGHT ON THE SPOT!
James:  Wow!
Chico:  Sweet!
Ryan:   I tape sometime in July!
Don:    Awesome!
Ryan:   I'm super excited!
Jason:  Fantastic!
Chico:  That is a great week.
Ryan:   And I found out yesterday I scored tickets to see Canadian Idol next week.
Jason:  Even better.
Ryan:   And my fave French show, Fort Boyard, is showing up on the dish tonight!
Chico:  Icing.
Ryan:   Oh and school's out for the summer :)
Jason:  And there is the cherry on top.
James:  That truly is the best week ever
Ryan:   Exactly.
Chico:  Yeah, that's also.. good... as well. :) Enough time to watch Match Game. And you watched Match Game... for one night only.
Ryan:   And I liked it.
Jason:  I did...and I want my hour back.
Chico:  I'm in agreement...with...Ryan.
James:  And I'm in agreement with Chico and Ryan.
Don:    I liked it, too.
Chico:  The only bad part about it, if I'm being honest.. was Ricki. The panel worked, the players knew the game...
Jason:  Gordon, am I going to be the only hater?
Gordon: No, you're not going to be the only hater. Like the rest of the shows, this one was a giant let down for me. Once again, GSM has proven that they have yet another contestant who just CANT PLAY THE STINKING GAME!!!
James:  I would say Adrienne Curry was worse...she seemed lost from the get go.
Gordon: Adrienne's boobies were the only redeeming feature of the show.
Chico:  But hell, any excuse to see Adrienne Curry's boobies =p
Ryan:   You're right - the contestants drove me up the wall.  Brush your teeth???
Chico:  I wanted to hit him. But then again, Lance matched George, soo =p
Gordon: Lance matches the person who took 80,000 shots to the head, What does that tell you?
Jason:  Touché. It almost got to Match Game 98 territory.
Ryan:   Although, it does go with the theory that Match Game contestants doesn't have the sharpest tool in the shed.
Chico:  Doubtful. MG98 was pretty bad.
James:  Lance Bass obviously checked out the Brian Billick tapes :)
Jason:  And Ricki was awful.
Ryan:   Great casting of the celebs though I thought.
Chico:  I agree, Ryan. You had the panel down to a science on that one.
Gordon: The celeb casting was good. Ricki was terrible, and why weren't THESE 6 people playing the games??!!?
Jason:  I agree. I am not going to watch next week out of protest.
Chico:  Might I bring up a big board?
Jason:  Sure go ahead.
James:  Big board, please!
Chico:  And yes, Block. You'll watch. You'll watch and you'll like it.
Gordon: It's either that of Master of Champions
Jason:  Sir, Yes Sir. If only for Kathy returning her family to the feud for the first time in, what...25 years?
Ryan:   I do hope they show clips!
Chico:  oh totally!
James:  Yup
Jason:  Wow.
Chico:  She was the captain of her team.
Jason:  Celebrity or just family?
Chico:  Family
James:  Long before she was famous
Chico:  This was before the Sister Act, before King of the Hill....
Don:    So I guess that gives Kathy and her family the experience edge, eh?
Chico:  That would be a yes, Don.
Gordon: But would it give her the edge when it comes to spinning a car to grate cheese?
Chico:  Why, Chris Leary? Why?
James:  Money, Chico, money!
Chico:  Ah, the ultimate lubricant.
Don:    I didn't watch Master of Champions.  Didn't realize it was on.
James:  From the looks of the ratings, many people were with you, Don
Gordon: After watching the show to see Cars grate cheese, people jumping on stilts to shoot off fireworks and a unicyclist falling down on an obstacle course, that goat porn is looking pretty good right now.
Chico:  Yeah, it was soundly beaten by GSM. Oh, and Match Game was the most watched episode since TPIR. Who called that one? WHO CALLED THAT ONE?
Gordon: Not a surprise when you have a repeat and master of crap on against it.
Chico:  But it was the MOST WATCHED episode.
Gordon: Yes, and the ratings dictate that more people would watch mold slither than paint dry.
Chico:  Who called that one? I guess it was me =p
Gordon: Looking at it's ratings so far, it didn't take much.
Chico:  If that's ABC's best... Give me the Tuesday Night Book Club.
Jason:  Uh no...that got yanked.
Chico:  That's the point, J. I'd rather have cancelled unlikable housewives than Master of Champions.
Ryan:   I don't like the end round.  The other stuff was decent - I ride a unicycle, but not like those guys.
Jason:  I would rather see Napoleonic people play the nose flute...
Chico:  How about three seconds of a bad lounge act?
Gordon: What about a parade of boring jugglers? Would you like to see a parade or boring jugglers?
Chico:  Ah, so you did watch America's Got Talent, then :)
Jason:  How about a breakdancing cow?
Gordon: I liked the Breakdancing Cow. At least the Breakdancing cow was different. Did anyone else show up as a breakdancing cow?
Jason:  No. BTW...we are talking about acts on "America's Got Talent..." which got HUGE ratings Wednesday night.
Chico:  Yep. Could this be the killer app that saves the summer?
Gordon: Doubtful. But Are there any other choices to watch on TV on a Wednesday?
Chico:  No, but you had an eight-year-old comic... and apparently racism is funny when you're 8.
Jason:  Wow...you think that kid was racist?
Chico:  No, but it's like, 8 years old, already playing the I'm-half-black card?
Gordon: Teach 'em while they're young, Chico
Jason:  There you go. Sad, but true. :(
Ryan:   I loved the Feud-esque system :)
James:  People enjoy watching the elimination and "no-talent" rounds of such shows...look at how *American Inventor* did its first few weeks. Once it gets to straight talent show, the ratings will likely fall. Not the 50% or so drop Inventor had, but it could be sizable.
Jason:  I don't think so, James. This is THE killer app of the summer.
Gordon: I'll agree with both of you - and I'll add that the 'Talent' hasn't been very original. All of the shticks have been done before, and usually much better. I think it says a lot when the three originals are Bobby Badfingers, Dave the Horn guy and the Cow.
Chico:  It's got the time slot to do well.
Jason:  And we didn't get to see 1/2 of the good talent.
Gordon: I think the Microwave Magician has a shot, too - but we'll see. It does have the slot to do well in, and based on the Summer programming, there really isn't that much out there, so this could be the star of the show.
Don:    I'm still not sure what exactly that "Shadow Dancing" was supposed to be.  I heard their explanation, but still...
Chico:  All I saw was pirates, wenches, and a quarter horse.
Ryan:   I had a problem that there wasn't a minimum time enforced for the judges to wait - was curious to see if the blue velvet people would have done more
Chico:  I saw the clip over and over again. I believe the judges made the right decision.
Jason:  Why?
Chico:  Lady #2... soured the note. I mean, royally.
Ryan:   I don't want to say that they were good - I'd just like a 30 sec minimum for example.
Chico:  I think 10 is plenty, which gets me to the Big Board, if I can have it =p
Gordon: Take it
Chico:  Taking it.

Chico:  The subject: Gongs... Through... History.
Jason:  GONG!
Chico:  30 years ago, the Gong Show premiered, and with it, its three-man gamelan.
Jason:  But if you remember, if one gonged...it was done.
Chico:  A version aired in the 80s, but I think we're all in agreement... the original still held the most water.
Jason:  True. Jamie Farr, Chuck Barris and who was the woman?
Chico:  Jaye P. Morgan.
Jason:  Thank you.
Chico:  90s saw neither Jamie Farr... nor Jaye P... nor Chuckie Baby.... but George Gray on GSN's Extreme Gong. I think we're all in agreement... a dark day for his career.
James:  And he's had a lot of them.
Jason:  I agree.
Chico:  And a dark day for interactivity, as 900 phone lines determines who got the money... and who got the gong. 900 numbers, for you kids out there, are what we had before text messaging.
Jason:  I remember when you had 2400 baud modems...
Chico:  Geek antique.
James:  Ah, the days of Quantumlink on the C-64
Jason:  and being on line meant being ON LINE :)
Chico:  You kids don't know how good you have it. =p
Jason:  And when you had to get anime through 4th generation tapes...darn kids! :)
Chico:  Then cane 2002's 30 Seconds to Fame, in which the audience had the ultimate controller, and if they didn't like you.... You got the razz before your half-minute was up.
Jason:  I remember that one.
Chico:  Craig J. Jackson's finer moment ... well, his only one. Winner won $25,000. $25,000 for a minute's work. What does that tell you?
Jason:  Not much.
James:  I'm in the wrong line of work?
Gordon: Let's not forget Gong Show gone old school...Showtime at the Apollo
Chico:  Of course! How can we forget the Sandman?
Jason:  With a cane, and the audience booing like crazy. Many soul and R&B artists over the last 60 years have made it through the Apollo's Amateur night.
Gordon: And Sabado Gigante has had that sort of crazy fun for years as well.
Jason:  With the masked trumpeter.
Chico:  Totally. But one thing not one of those things had... Chicken George!
Ryan:   GO VOTE FOR CHICKEN GEORGE!
Gordon: Can we make him Goat George?
Chico:  No, we can't.
Jason:  I voted for him.
James:  Me too
Chico:  I voted for him, of course.
Gordon: You all would. Gah.
Ryan:   I voted for him and Janelle and Kaysar
Chico:  Three good choices there.
Don:    Oh geez, that reminds me...  Gotta vote!
Chico:  Yes you do. Go vote now, Don.
Don:    Okay, I voted.
Gordon: So who are the 20 nominees?
Jason:  We, as Americans, and some Canadians, can vote for the next cast of Big Brother...Big Brother 7: BB All Stars.
Chico:  The 20 nominees are...

George Bosley from Big Brother 1
Monica Bailey, Will Kirby, Bunky Miller, Mike Boogie from BB2...
Marcellas Reynolds, Danielle Reyes, and Lisa Donahue from BB3...
Alison Irwin, Dana Varela and Erika Landin from BB4
Diane Henry, Jase Wirey, Michael "Cowboy" Ellis, and Nakomis from BB5
And Janelle Pierzina, Kaysar Ridha, Howie Gordon, James Rhine, and Ivette Corredero from BB6.

Chico:  There are your 20 nominees. Only 12 will be BB All-Stars. I'm writing an Extra on Wednesday's nomination special as we speak.
Ryan:   We only vote in 6 right?
James:  Only 6. The producers choose six more
Chico:  I can stand not to see Ivette anymore, thank you.
James:  Two things that disappointed about the nominees...
James:  1) All of the winners from the previous seasons should have been invited.  Granted, they may not have wanted to play again, but if that wasn't the case... 2) BB1 got screwed royally.  Would have loved to have seen Eddie or Brittany (couldn't remember her name for the life of me until Chico mentioned her) set an invite.
Ryan:   define "invited"
Chico:  invited = one of the 20.
Ryan:   I know that in Survivor they asked everyone, but do you suppose they did this for BBAS?
James:  The producers should have asked them if they wanted to be one of the 20. Probably not...Will Mega and Justin the knife-boy (BB2) are probably banned for life from the show
Gordon: Not to mention Mr. STD Crabs.
Chico:  Heh. I can understand how a few can reject invites... They have lives and all =p
James:  Still, all of the former champs should have been considered, even if you bumped up the nominee list to 24
Chico:  I know more Survivor champs were considered for the All-Star season. You purport All-Star... Why not have the winners?
Gordon: Because the 'Winners' will be leaving quickly. No one playing wants to see a repeat. Just like Survivor, you have Winner's Envy. I think the producers were smart enough to notice it. I think this will play out just like Survivor did, with all of the high placers leaving early and often. I think should Will get it, he'll be the first one out.
James:  My (and my wife's) six, in case you want to know...Chicken George, Marcellas, Monica, Howie, Diane and Cowboy. No Chicken George...no justice :)
Chico:  My six... Chicken George, Cowboy, Howie, Janelle, Diane, Erika.
Gordon: My 6 would be...Will, Alison, Nakomis, Janelle, Ivette and Danielle. But George, albeit a fan favorite, doesn't know how to play the game. He'll be out right after Will.
Chico:  Give him the benefit of the doubt. They wouldn't have invited him if they didn't think he could cut muster.
Gordon: They invited him because of the public, not because of his playability. George wasn't exactly likable in the house. He stayed in because of his wife's vote brigade. He won't have that luxury anymore.
James:  BB1 needs to represent
Chico:  Otherwise... NO justice. Besides, he just might surprise you. That's all I'm saying.
Gordon: You don't want the happy people in the house with a chance to win at the end. Any champions that get in the house are the first ones gone. Then George is next. If you are playing this game, you want to have the scum of the earth left, so you have a shot in the final voting.
Chico:  That's why Maggie won last year, you think =p
Gordon: I think. Allison will be at the end - and she will finish in second again because I am sure that everyone would love to be against her or Jase (should he get in) in the finals.
Chico:  The less we see of Alison, the BETTER.
Ryan:   It was bad enough I had to put up with Alison in AR...
Chico:  Ugh. Don't remind me.
Gordon: Alison Irwin is being primed to be your next Media Ho.
Don:    At least in AR, she didn't get past Leg 2.
Gordon: Also primed to be amazing this year? GSC 5
James:  Darn straight
Chico:  Oh yeah.
Jason:  Two major additions to GSC 5 this week...not that it wasn't hot to death already!
Chico:  Just got some more events in.. Bob Harris, good friend of ours, he'll be reading from his new book...
Jason:  Prisoner of Trebekistan--A Decade in Jeopardy....
Chico:  AND...Earlier that morning, 1 Vs. 100 will be holding auditions.
James:  Excellent!
Chico:  Two BIG events.
James:  LOL
Ryan:   <Ed Sullivan> Really big show? </ES>
Jason:  GSC members WILL get priority.
Chico:  That means if you want to get ahead of the queue, you have to register *ahem*gameshowcongress.com*ahem*.  HUGE.
Gordon: Can I have a BIG BOARD please?
Chico:  Big Board the Sequel...

Gordon: The subject - ALL of the events for GSC5
Chico:  Couldn't they just easily download the list from gameshowcongress.com?
Jason:  Yes, but we are discussing them! :)
Gordon: It's called publicity.
James:  The more publicity, the better
Chico:  ah, right.
Gordon: Why make them have to look up everything when we can show them everything here?
Jason:  Starting Thursday night the 13th....

You can either watch some video tributes to Nipsey Russell and Peter Tomarken...or play some games with us...including TPIR/Match Game and DonD

Jason: Friday...

Friday is the first full day of Game Show Tournament competition from 8:00AM to 4:00PM. And at 8:00PM that night...directly from the Acme Comedy Theater...What's My Line Live with our bud J. Keith Van Straaten. With judges, Frank Nicotero, Sarah Purcell, Stuart Shostak, and the legendary Betsy Palmer.

Chico:  That's gonna be hot.
Jason:  Saturday...

That Saturday at 9:00 AM and 11;00AM...we have the 1v.100 tryouts. During 8:00-4:00 that day...day 2 of the GS Tournament....And 9:00-1:00PM...more rare videos...But at 1:00PM we have a big reunion...any 80's Game Show fans out there? I said...any fans out there?

Chico:  Yeah me!
James:  You bet!
Chico:  I'm an 80's game show fan!
Gordon: Sure, I'll be one too

Thank you. We have the Tic Tac Dough reunion with Wink Martindale and Thom McKee...Ken Jennings of his day. At 3:15 Steve Beverly will give his State of the Games Address...and this added last week...an announcers and host panel with Laura Chambers hosting a game show an announcers panel at 4:00 with Larry Anderson, Sarah Purcell, Jack Narz, and Burton Richardson and Johnny Gilbert...

Chico:  Sweet

Before the 7:30 Smarty Pants Quiz, we have the aforementioned reading of Prisoner of Trebekistan--A Decade in Jeopardy....and at 9:00PM we have the Buzzer Battle from Bill Schantz to raise money for the AIDS Research Alliance.

Jason:  Then on Sunday...

We start off with a little known broadcast called WLTI....

Chico:  We've seen the show... and it is us.
James:  Never heard of it :)
Chico:  Just some sexy geeks talking game shows

From 10:00-noon is the industry panel "From Game Shows to Reality and Back Again" And at 12:30-3:00 is the luncheon honoring Peter Marshall...and Mark Itkin...and some more game stuff afterwards....but if that hasn't whet your appetite at all....

Jason:  Gordon...roll it!
Gordon: Well, now, we have a bunch of extra-curricular activities planned. We have a field trip to What's My Line and Disneyland, as well as tapings to Wheel of Fortune and Deal or No Deal, and of course the annual Price is Right pilgrimage. And maybe a visit to a....casino...

Chico:  A casino.. or two =p
Don:    Sounds like a lot of fun!
Jason:  And if you want to go...go to http://www.gameshowcongress.com Register and do it now!
Gordon: We don't have too much stuff going on, do we?
James:  Nah!
Chico:  Not enough or a week, at least... speaking of goings-on... Let's do the news!
Jason:  Mice and Jackets....ho!
Gordon: Roll that Beautiful Brain Footage

Doug:  (impersonating Mark Thompson) From the four corners of your globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, featuring the Award-Winning Brainvision News team.)

 

Chico: Award-winning and critically acclaimed.
Jason:  What critical acclaim?
Chico:  Some site said that were "oddly entertaining". Entertaining's good... the "oddly" is icing on the cake :)
Jason:  Very cool.
Gordon: Works for me. The first article is....

Ken Jennings is not dead yet. The proposal show Ken Jennings Vs. The World is still being shopped around for seekers. Rumors have it that GSN, who have a contract with Michael Davies and Embassy Row, may pick this one up should Chain Reaction do well. The show, by the way, debuts August 1 at 9pm on GSN. Also debuting on August first is Starface, completing an hour's worth of programming with...Danny Bonaduce???!

Chico:  Hey, he's got star power... at least he's got "Star" power :) Heh.. I need to lay off this (^_^).
Jason:  True. He might be good.
Ryan:   Nice to see all the game show commitments going around.
Chico:  The game is on... big time.
James:  Can't wait for both games.
Don:    Same here.
Jason:  Should be good.
Chico:  Next up...Can you wait for The Apprentice?
James:  No

The Donald is adamant that NBC has given him a seventh season despite lagging ratings. Further, this one may take place in a here-to-fore unknown location.

James:  In his mind, perhaps? :)
Jason:  Ugh...sure.
Chico:  NBC is neither confirming nor denying his words.
James:  NBC is waiting to see how much audience Apprentice 7 will erode from the America's Got Talent 2 lead-in before making a decision
Chico:  That's my thinking at least.
James:  Desperate Housewives, Cold Case and Family Guy = time slot of death for Apprentice 6
Gordon: Well, the ratings do warrant another season, but the problem is not the locale.
Jason:  That's the nail in the coffin you are hearing.
Chico:  Next?

Next up - Cancellations. TPIR tapings were cancelled this week. They Think It's Over is Over After 11 Seasons. The National has also gone kaput. Facing permanent cancellation - Aaron Spelling, who passes away this week.

Chico:  *bows*

(silence)

Chico:  Meanwhile, who wants to get Fully Loaded?
Ryan:   At this hour?
Chico:  Why not?
Jason:  Sure.
Chico:  It's completely legal.
Gordon: Wheeeeee

If you have Time Warner, you can rejoice. GSN is back there, as they FINALLY have completed negotiations. What took you guys so long?

Chico:  I'm guessing a recent uptick in audience numbers had something to do with it... but I wouldn't know for sure. But one thing's for sure. Time Warner and GSN have finally come together in the common interest... Making dat sweet ass money. And then getting hoes with it. Case in point, Danny Bonaduce :) Speaking of... (plays "Area Codes")
Gordon: It's magically ho-licious!

First of all, for you ho-wanna bes, you can audition for 1 Vs. 100, Vas o No Vas, and Sabotage. If you want to see the new breed of Media hos, you can look for them as Rock Star 2 and Project Runway 3 shows us their hoes. And of course, you can vote for your favorite Big Brother Media hoes. As for said hoes, Sly Stallone is not going to be seen in the Contender 2, Katharine McPhee won't be seen for awhile, as she drops out of touring, Bil Dwyer hosts a GSN marathon of the 50 greatest shows of all time, DOND Brit Host Noel Edmonds gets an injury lifting up the Banker phone, Katie Lee Joel is out of Top Chef 2, Gordon Ramsay wins a libel suit, Master P is hosting a hip hop reality show, and Heidi Klum is pregnant - again...

Chico:  Lucky Seal.

...and congratulations to Taylor Hicks for hitting #1 with his song 'Do I Make You Proud'...but he's not the Ho of the week, because there's something more honorable than having a #1 single.

Chico:  There is?
Gordon: There is - like being inducted into the TV Hall of Fame.
Chico:  Ah
Gordon: Congratulations to Regis Philbin and Pyramid Celebrity William Shatner, the co-media hoes of the week for getting into the TV Hall of Fame.
James:  Regis and Toupee Boy were inducted into the TV Hall of Fame
Chico:  That presents a question, though. How can one be a Ho... and P.I.M.P at the same time?
Gordon: You move up the ladder, like all good media hoes do. Regis can now Pimp in style.
Chico:  He was always pimping in style, if you ask me :)
Jason:  He can do anything he wants...he's REGIS!
James:  It's Regis...there are no rules with him
Chico:  And finally...

How much would you pay for "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?" UK host Chris Tarrant is fronting an exorbitant amount for worldwide rights.

Jason:  How much?
Chico:  £100 million
Don:    Wow.
Jason:  That's $200 Million US...just by himself?
Chico:  At LEAST.
Jason:  or with a group?
Chico:  Let me consult my magic interbox.
Jason:  ok
Chico:  Group of investors. Led by Tarrant.
Jason:  Nice.
Jason:  Tarrant made a lot of cash in both radio and TV.
Chico:  Oh yeah. Surely he's got enough stowed away for a rainy day, and hey, whatever it takes to keep him on the telly.
Gordon: Yeah, but still...a show on the decline worth 200 million? I don't know...
Jason:  Worldwide rights...I don't know either.
James:  The show is still popular in several countries, but $200 million is a lot of money.
Chico:  It took in £11.6 million profit last year. Still very lucrative even if it is on the decline.
Gordon: Still - can you pay 200 million and only get 11 mill back? Seems risky.
Jason:  How did you get the pound sign logo? :)
Chico:  I C+Ped from Frontpage.
James:  He's Chico, he can do what he wants :)
Chico:  Except beat Chuck Norris... or Bill Murray.. or Regis. Okay, shut it down. We've got Would You Could You next, but first... another world premiere game.
Jason:  Shutting down...Are we taking the mice with us to LA?
Chico:  Yep.
Jason:  ok
Chico:  This is WLTI, protected by all the copyright laws of the United States; any unauthorized use without written consent of the producers will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law, THANK YOU!
Jason:  We know who you are.

(Brainvision News is presented by Friday Night Game Club. Ironically... that's all they do for the hour is play board games... and maybe five minutes of sex talk... for the ladies)

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