July 2, 2005
Gordon: It's better than fried rats.
Chico: Good eats.
Jason: Anything is better than fried rats. (plays Alton Brown music)
Chico: We're back with WLTI. we have myself, Gordon, Alex, Jason, and
James...Oh, and a silent Don :). Sounds like a mob movie, doesn't it?
Chico: Who do you want me to kill, father?
James: Oh my.
Chico: Okay, Gordon. What's next?
Gordon: Next up - in the spirit of the return of Gilligan's Island (YECCH), it's
time for Deserted Island! I'll be giving you some people, and you decide who
gets to be sent to the island. Any questions?
Chico: Shouldn't that be in the spirit of the END of Gilligan's Island?
Don: Sounds good.
James: Or the burial of the rotting corpse of the Real Gilligan's Island?
Chico: And it was rotting.
Gordon: Maggotty old corpse.
Chico: Maggots only had it so good. Okay, get it started.
Gordon: Let's start the mind going early....
Corey Clark or William Hung. One can't sing a lick. The other one can, but
isn't too appreciated. In honor of William Hung's NEW SUMMER CD coming out in a
few weeks (yikes), who gets to go serenade the new islanders?
James: William Hung, so he can just disappear once and for all.
Chico: At least we LIKE Hung.
James: I don't!
Don: I'll say Corey.
Alex: Why not.
Gordon: Ok, so Corey Clark gets to be the entertainment on the island.
Chico: So Corey gets to entertain another not-caring audience.
Gordon: Speaking of Gilligan's Island...
Donna or...Tiy-E. The Professor sort of...improvised his credentials to get on
the show, while we wishes that Donna would improvise her way to not get on the
show to begin with.
Chico: Tiy-E. And both were not rescued. If we could send a helicopter to the
"other side of the island" to pull a Rachel Hunter.... I'd airlift Tiy-E.
Gordon: ok - so TIY-E gets to hang out with Corey. We need some women on the
Kathy Hilton or Paris Hilton. Kathy has her own lousy show (I Wanna Be a
Hilton), and Paris's cameo on the show shows us that her Simple Life show may
not be an act after all. Which Hilton joins them?
Chico: More shameless.
Jason: You people...:)
James: Paris has a little mileage left....Kathy's mileage disappeared in 1992.
Gordon: Ouch! So Kathy joins them and hopes to teach some culture to the island.
Chico: In fact, I'm willing to throw in $2 to send the entire Hilton family to
go build a hotel there or something.
Gordon: Next Up -
The Writers Guild of America is going after the Reality Show Producers. The
Guild says that it's about improving conditions. The producers say that the WGA,
who tried to eliminate reality shows, now sees that they are successful and want
a piece of the pie. Who is wrong and goes to the island?
Alex: Writers, I agree
Don: Writers, yeah.
Gordon: So we send the Writer's Guild of America all over to the island.
Chico: And get more cheap games to produce.
Gordon: Speaking of which...
The producers of a Celebrity but I want to Sing, Too or the producers of Ice
Skating with the Stars? We know both shows will suck. Which one will suck worse?
James: Ice Skating with the Stars.
Alex: Ice Skating easily, and that's coming from a hockey player.
Don: The Ice Skating one. I see a bunch of slipping and falling happening
Gordon: Fox wants falling. I see the show falling, so we send some producers
James: Instead of airing it, just take the clips and send them to America's
Funniest Videos. If they want falling, check out their prime-time lineup minus
Chico: Hey.. House is cool. Alright? I love watching House.
Jason: And don't forget 24
Chico: Can't wait for the first season DVD set. And the animation block.
Everything else... *raspberries*
Gordon: Next up -
From the ideas that we probably shouldn't be doing department, the Ringling
Brothers and the Roller Derby Association (remember them) have both signed up
for reality games. Which one looks like the bigger disaster in the making?
Jason: Roller Derby
Chico: I liked Rollergames. You remember that?
James: The Circus.
Don: I remember RollerJam.
James: Rollergames and RollerJam were entertaining.
Gordon: I remember both of them. THE VIOLATORS!
Don: I'll pick the Circus.
Alex: The Circus looks more idiotic.
Chico: And nine years after the American Gladiators on rollerskates known as
"Blade Warriors", we're due for another game on wheels.
Gordon: Roller Derby WINS! The Circus gets to go to the island. Talk about an
Jason: I thought we already had a clown in too much makeup...Kathy Hilton.
Gordon: Last one...
Chico: LAST ONE!
Tom Cruise or Brooke Shields. Quite frankly, I can't stand them whining at each
other. Who goes to the Island?
Chico: Tom Cruise. And a sofa.
Jason: Cruise boy, for giving up Nicole Kidman.
Jason: Katie, run for your life!
Alex: Tom Cruise because I can stare at Brooke longer
Chico: *puts on his "Free Katie" shirt*
Gordon: Ok - so to sum this up....
The producers of Ice Skating with the Stars and the Reality writers would all
procreate while Kathy Hilton teaches the little babies proper etiquette. Tiy-E
would teach psychology classes and then Corey Clark would sing, then write a
book on how he was sleeping with Tom Cruise on Tom's sofa to get a part in a new
movie, then sell it for millions of dollars to they can buy a mansion that Kathy
Hilton could then decor in any way she wants.
Jason: Sounds about right to me.
Chico: Can we add a lagoon for Tiy-e to drown in? I mean, is this like
Gordon: When the babies grow up, Tiy-E can get eaten by a swamp gator, if you'd
Chico: Eh, That'll work.
Gordon: And that ends Deserted Island. We'll go to our own mad doctor after the
Chico: I AM NOT MAAADDDD!!!!!!!!
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