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Paying homage to shows such as
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to Interrupt is a weekly raw, frank, red-blooded, two-fisted,
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March 21, 2005
Chico: Can we
credit/blame the Japanese for this one too?
Gordon: Anyways, we are back, and we have an island to
populate. We are joined by our resident Canadian Ryan
Vickers and the perennial third-segment person Jason
Hernandez for this segment.
Jason H: Thank you, thank you.
Chico: Another one? Where do we get these?
Gordon: We take all of the islands when CBS is done
destroying them for Survivor and populate them for
ecological purposes. We're doing this to help our
humanity. Isn't this honorable for us?
Chico: Considering the last round?
Gordon: Well, last time we did this, we sent the Schwab
there with Omarosa. Don't you think that it was pretty
Jason B: Very.
Chico: For us, yes. For humanity as a whole... well, you
be the judges. Let's get to the candidates!
Gordon: Anyways, I'll go over the rules for Curt. You
will be getting a few people. You select one of them to
banish away to an island somewhere. Any questions?
Curt: Got it.
Jason B: Very nice.
Gordon: We'll start with an easy one -
Mario Vazquez or 19 Entertainment. Do we send Mario away
for trying to get fame now - or 19 Entertainment for the
encompassing contract that Mario is trying to get out
Jason B: Mario. He knew what he was getting into.
Curt: Mario. He knew the rules when he signed on.
Chico: It's-a me, Mario. He ... yeah, what everyone else
said. Don't hate the player, hate the.. no. I'm not
Jason B: He is a hell of a talent...but a stupid kid.
Gordon: What do you think, Ryan and Joe and Mike?
Ryan: Hey folks! I'll vote for Mario - I have a friend
who made it to the celebrity judge round of Canadian
Idol but didn't want to commit to the time needed to
devote to it. You do get told these things in advance.
Chico: The contract'll get you every time.
Mike: I would say Mario as well. He knew what he was
getting into if he read his contract.
Joe: I'd say he didn't wanna be owned by 19
Entertainment. I'm gonna toss Mario anyways. At least
he'd be getting paid royally for being owned.
Jason H: Honestly, Mario!
Gordon: I am surprised that no one said 19 - which means
that the public may be turning against Mario. Mario may
have made a huge mistake in his career.
Jason H: No offense, he's good....but he's not my type.
Gordon: I agree with everyone and we send Mario to the
island to croon at the coconut trees. Next up....
The 4 remaining women of American Idol not named Nadia
Turner or the 4 remaining people in the Ulong Tribe. Who
has a better chance of leaving and going to the island?
Jason B: The 4 women of American Idol...it's a man's
world this year.
Joe: The Ulong Tribe, for one simple reason... I've said
it before, and I'll say it again. Survivor = teh suck.
Chico: Which four to send to the island. The Ulong.
Because they can't buy a break.
Curt: AI's non-Nadia four women have no shot.
Mike: I agree too. This appears to be the year of the
male on AI.
Jason H: Agree with Big Joey Numbers. Ulong = send
Gordon: So we send Ulong over...well, they are already
on the island, so we'll send Mario to them. Next up -
Pick ANY Jeopardy winner in the Tournament of Champions
who didn't deserve to win, and send them to where they
deserve to go - The Island.
Jason H: LOL....this is a toughie.
Ryan: Hold on... how do we define "deserve to win"?
Gordon: That's your definition.
Ryan: I don't think you can define who should and
Gordon: Send me someone who YOU think didn't deserve to
Jason H: This requires....like....critical thinking.
Ryan: Well there has been two occurrences of people
getting things wrong in FJ that lead others to win, but
still, that's the game, isn't it?
Joe: Tad Carithers - he beat Lezsek.
Jason B: I agree with Joe.
Mike: Tad Carithers beat Leszek.
Curt: Carithers, then.
Jason H: I'll say Leah Greenwald (Tuesday night's
winner). Even though y'all think it was the best show of
the tourney, thus far, it was the worst. :-P She totally
did not deserve to win, I think.
Chico: Except she was on pace with the leader.
Jason H: She got lucky and won by one letter.
Chico: So I'll go with Tad Carithers.
Mike: I can't put Leah on the island. She played an
excellent game. Nobody who racks up $23,000+ before
Final should go on the island.
Gordon: I'll go with Mark Eckard - since he's the same
guy who beat Jason Block on his Jason's last game of
Jeopardy. Call it sentimental reasons.
Jason B: Thank you.
Jason H: Oooh, good one, but I stand by mine.
Jason B: He is a damn good player.
Mike: I'll say Jeff Richmond for now, since he had
absolutely no competition in his game. Recall that both
of his competitors didn't get to Final Jeopardy!
Jason H: lol, true
Chico: Oh yeah.
Gordon: We'll send Tad, Leah, Mark and Jeff down to the
island, and bring up Eddie, Leszek, Jason Block and Jeff
Suchard to play in their place. Anyone object?
Chico: No objections here.
Jason H: Good good.
Joe: Nope. All good here.
Jason B: Very nice.
Gordon: Next up....
Wickedly Perfect or Tilt. Two shows that were considered
huge disappointments. Which one will the island people
get to play?
Jason B: Wickedly Perfect.
Chico: Wickedly Perfect.
Mike: What they said.
Joe: Poor Marc Summers.
Jason B: If you read Ms. Suchard's recaps...you know
Gordon: Did anyone like Tilt?
Joe: Didn't watch it.
Chico: Me neither.
Joe: And I LIKE Michael Madsen.
Jason B: Didn't watch it.
Gordon: I like Michael Madsen too - he was the only good
part in the show.
Curt: I saw about three episodes of TILT. I didn't know
much about poker before. And I still don't.
Joe: I still remember him as Mr. Blonde from Reservoir
Jason B: Did it leave off for season 2?
Gordon: Yes it did - and unfortunately, if they still
don't have hockey, we may be seeing more of it.
Ryan: From what I saw of WP, it was just uncomfortable
watching players who are Martha Stewart types playing a
Survivor like game.
Jason H: ..........I have to say Tilt on this one.
Curt: EOE really needs to lay off the dramas.
Jason H: I couldn't follow along with it, and ESPN could
show better programming.
Chico: Gordon was swaying a vote! Vote swayer! =p
Ryan: As long as he doesn't sit on the fence!!!
Jason H: Like.....ya know, classic 2MD and Stump the
Gordon: I would say Tilt too, but Jason and I are
overruled as producer Marc Summers and his cast can now
create apple dishes on the island.
Gordon: Next one....
Donald Trump or Leann Rimes. One of them doesn't get
enough airtime. The other one gets too much airtime. Who
will get as much airtime as they want on the Island?
Chico: Two words... You're FIRED!
Jason H: *clap* Thank you, Chico.
Joe: Send 'em both. I don't watch either show.
Curt: Send Leann Rimes, and please, send her in a hurry.
Jason H: Trump!
Gordon: I would send Leann Rimes - and then judge Phil
Vassar right along with her. How useless is he?
Chico: Wouldn't know. Tell me. How useless is he?
Gordon: He hasn't said anything besides 'I like it'. In
terms of being useful with comments; He makes Paula look
like Randy Jackson.
Jason B: Leann Rimes. Love Nashville Star...cant stand
Mike: This one's a coin toss. I'll pick Trump since he's
just about everywhere nowadays.
Gordon: It's a cointoss, but Leann wins. Besides, the
island needs some music entertainment...if that's what
we're calling it.
Chico: They have Mario. They can do a lovely duet.
Gordon: Last one...
Jason H: LAST ONE!
Pick ANY person in the steroid scandal (Bud Selig,
Donald Fehr, Mark McGwire, etc.) and send them on their
Mike: Just one?
Chico: How about I just kill the problem at the source
and send Jose Canseco?
Ryan: Send 'em all. And give me my Expos back, please.
Jason H: LOL Just one, G-Money?
Gordon: Based on the anger quotient - I'll allow people
to send as many as you want.
Curt: If I had to pick one, it would be Fehr. If anybody
came off worse than McGwire, it was him.
Jason B: Selig! He is an ass.
Joe: No question: Barry Bonds.
Mike: Attaboy, Ryan. Even though he didn't testify this
past week, I'll go with Barry Bonds. I think he's been a
giant cancer to the sport of baseball.
Jason H: If I had to pick one, Selig. He's the ass of an
Gordon: ok - Selig, Fehr, McGwire, Bonds, Canseco -
Curt: Met Barry Bonds once. The single most arrogant SOB
I've ever met, and I've met a lot.
Ryan: Can you throw Bettman in, just because? And
Jason H: Barry is a Giant, I'm a Dodger fan.....need I
Gordon: I'll have to check with the judges - judges?
Gordon: Yes, you can send hockey people with the
baseball people as well.
Jason H: But guys.....Selig called a damn tie in the
All-Star Game 2 years back, remember? A TIE!
Joe: And I'm an Angel fan. And you know what we did to
the Giants in 2002, right?
Jason H: =D *Tom Hanks* THERE'S NO TIES IN BASEBALL!!
Chico: Oh yeah...
Gordon: ok - so to summarize this, we will send the men
of the Ulong tribe to frolic with Mario and the women of
the the ulong tribe to breed with Barry Bonds and Mark
McGwuire to make little sterioid babies while Lee, Tad,
Leah and Jeff teach them all how to grow up to be big
baseball cheaters and Mario and Leann sing nursery songs
to them. The Wickedly Perfect contestants make
steroid-laced apple dishes and Donald Fehr, Bud Selig
and the NHL can create rules for island living which
will take them 17 years to pass.
Chico: So, we have music, baseball, and crocheting the
perfect tea cosy.
Jason B: MY EYES!
Jason H: ............... Ack!
Chico: Go to black! Go to black!
Jason H: Send it back! Send it back!
Jason B: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Joe: Eeeeeeeeeek! Kill It! Kill It! Kill it!
Jason H: *faints*
Gordon: Seems like we have another successful island
Joe: *fans Jason H.; busts out the smelling salts*
Chico: And when we return, we'll top it off with the big
Gordon: And...more mail from the Ultimate Film Fanatic?
Chico: How the heck am I supposed to know?
(Brought to you by Steroid-Laced Apple Dishes. They will
get you into serious trouble with Congress... but they
won't save you any money on car insurance)
Joe: ROFL! Why haven't you called AMYJO?
Jason H: I'm still slightly upset about yesterday's NBA
action. =/ I'm coming to the slow realization that
STAPLES Center will be vacant this Spring.
Gordon: No L.A. postseason basketball for you. Let's go
on to...The Big Finish!
Jason B: Lakers Suck....BWAAAAAAA.
Joe: We know, we know. But the Angels don't. :D
Gordon: Survivor - will Ulong ever win a
Joe: Who cares?
Jason B: No...and they will shake things up too.
Chico: What is no? I'll take Saturday Night Classics for
Joe: Here's one: Stacey Hayes of Lingo infamy is doing a
spread in Playboy in May. You buying?
Jason H: Throw it out!
Chico: I.... might?
Jason H: Naaahhh, her accent is fake. :-P
Jason H: DER. :-D
Jason B: Gives a new meaning to stopper ball doesn't it?
Mike: Buying? It's the new wallpaper in my bedroom, Joe!
Ryan: hotty.... H O T T Y.
Jason B: Hey I like this month's Playboy with Christy
Chico: Gordon, help me here.
Gordon: Amazing Race for $600 - who's next to go?
Chico: I say the next leg is a non-elimination leg.
Mike: Next to go are Meredith and Gretchen. They've been
continually falling behind, plus I think Gretchen is an
albatross around Meredith's neck.
Ryan: Alas it might be time for them to go but it seems
like there's been a lot of brainfarts so far..
Gordon: I'll agree with Mike - Are we ever going to see
a poker show cancelled due to low ratings?
Jason B: Nope.
Chico: Probably not.
Jason B: Poker is HOT.
Ryan: Got to fill the NHL void somehow :-)
Mike: Yes. Ultimate Poker Challenge, please.
Chico: I thought that was already gone. It airs at 11p
Sundays now in Raleigh (down from 7p Sundays).
Jason B: People love to watch cards.
Jason H: People love to watch drama
Ryan: Bring back Card Guppies!
Jason H: Ergo; cards + drama = good TV
Gordon: Millions of dollars on the line - why not? Time
to check out the mailbox - we got anything there, Chico?
Chico: Yes we do...
Mike: Is it from another contestant on Ultimate Film
Chico: Actually... we're about 20 years off.
Joe: MAIL TIME!
Ryan: Brett Somers?
Chico: This is from a character by the name of Julie
Sawyer. Thanks for writing, Julie!
Joe: Name sounds familiar.
Chico: Anyway, Julie writes...
I'm looking for footage of the 1985 Body Language
episodes with Phyllis Diller and Michael Damian. I was a
contestant on these particular shows and would like to
have copies of them for my family to see. Would you know
how I can find them? Looking forward to hearing from
Jason B: Wow. Another tape search.
Ryan: Surely they must be around the trade circle?
Chico: Okay. I'll say this again. Probably your best
best is to, yeah, negotiate a trade with someone who has
the episode. And if the episode has Phyllis Diller, then
that's probably a given.
Jason H: *nudges Klauss*
Gordon: What sites would you know that could have this
Ryan: *nudges Klauss more*
Mike: *cough cough* OBLIGATORY PLUG *cough cough*
someone has this episode. I know the Diller/Damian
weeks have aired on GSN within the past 5 years.
Jason H: Thanks, buddy. =)
Joe: *shakes Klauss like a ho*
Chico: We were about to slug him one.
Mike: Shake me like a British nanny!
Jason B: You should also check with Fremantle and GSN.
Chico: But good luck in your search, Julie!
Mike: Diller/Damian week, singular.
Jason B: Good luck!
Jason H: Yes, much good luck!
Chico: Okay, we have time, I think... for one more.
Joe: Indeed. Always cool to be able to show friends your
TV appearances. MORE MAIL!
Ryan: I got someone their College Mad House ep last week
- it's fun to do that.
Gordon: It's from George H. Sirois, another Ultimate
Film Fanatic contestant.
Great job on the re-caps. I'm shocked that you're the
first one to match me up with Jim Cornette. And I have
friends who are just as big wrestling fans as I was, and
they never paired us together like that. Too funny...
Chico: Wow, another one?
Jason H: ......um...ok?
Jason B: Send him a tennis racket!
Joe: Ah-ha! So there was another UFF player in there.
Mike: I called it! Another Ultimate Film Fanatic
contestant. What do I win?
Jason H: You win...........
Chico: Sweet nothing! Credibility!
Jason H: um.....OOOH!!!
Jason B: A DVD of "The Pacifier" and "Glitter"
Mike: I'd rather win nothing, Jason.
Jason H: I GOT IT.... *has Stacy model it* It's a week's
supply of Knudsen's cottage cheese!
Chico: Better than "The Pacifier".
Jason H: I have some in my fridge, I'll send it air-mail
Joe: You're not saying Stacey has cellulite, are you
Jason H: *nudge nudge*
Gordon: With that - any more mail, Chico?
Chico: Well, no more mail this week, but we'd LOVE to
get some more *nudge nudge*. The address is email@example.com
Mike: And if you PayPal us bribes, you'll get a higher
Chico: Yeah, because this show has... NO BUDGET!
Gordon: We can always use more mail - especially - with
next week being...WLTI #50!
Jason H: WHOO WHOO
Chico: Oh yeah, you're going to love next week. Next
week is the BIG 50th episode with a special guest that I
can't say right now.
Jason B: WHOO HOO!
Jason H: *clangs and dings*
Gordon: Is the guest special?
Jason B: TELL THEM!
Chico: But trust me... People have probably been wanting
to see this for years. :-)
Jason H: Hold them back!
Joe: TEASE THE SPECIAL GUEST! TEASE THE SPECIAL GUEST!
*jumps up and down like a lunatic*
Mike: Let the rampant speculation begin.
Jason H: I don't think I can handle them much longer!!
Ryan: Pat Finn?
Jason B: Omarosa?
Mike: Oh my gosh, you guys got Rip Taylor?
Chico: I'm afraid I'll have to keep my lips shut for
now, but all will be revealed in time. And I think
you're really going to enjoy what we have in store for
him... or her.
Jason H: *tries to hold Joey down*
Jason B: Boo hiss.
Joe: Get yer hands off me, boy.
Jason H: :p
Chico: What, you don't like drama?
Mike: It's like you're dangling a Porterhouse in front
of us rabid dogs.
Jason H: It's like dangling the entire "Hit Man" and
"Whew!" series on tapes and DVDs right in front
Mike: I got dibs on those shows.
Joe: It's like dangling Amy Jo Johnson and Amanda
Avila's phone numbers in front of me.
Ryan: For now we'll have to do with "Mole"
Jason H: Whoo whoo
Jason B: You keep doing this I'll be going blind :-)
Joe: More like filet mignon.
Jason H: It's like.......
Jason B: Give me mine with onions, mushrooms and cheese.
Chico: This order's to go, sadly. Once again, big thanks
to Curt Spear for joining us :-)
Curt: No sweat.
Jason B: Thank you Curt!
Ryan: Thanks Curt!
Jason B: (applause)
Joe: Godspeed, Curt. Nice having you along.
Jason H: Ditto!
Mike: Much appreciated, Curt.
Curt: My pleasure, guys.
Chico: For Big Joey Numbers, The James, Mike the K, Beat
the Block, Stimpy J, and V-Town, I'm Big Chico. That's
Pepperoni. Until next time... Big 50! Game over! and
Joe: The Block wins.
Jason B: Out.
Joe: Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame Oveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer!
Mike: The balcony is closed.
Jason H: *beep do boop*
Previous Episodes (Season 6)|
December 26 - 2004 Year in Review
January 24 - Number Please/Bargain
January 31 - 20 ?s: Dan Avila/Take a
February 14 - ! the Game/Ask Dr. Ryan
February 21 - Who's Your Daddy?/Accuracy
March 5 - We the Jury/Five Good Reasons
March 14 - March Madness/Infiltration
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