March 5, 2005
Chico Alexander: RESPECT! Heh.
I'm Chico Alexander, and from somewhere in
America... uh, LINE!
Travis Eberle: It's SATURDAY MORNING!
Mike Klauss: Do you know where your game show fans are?
Ryan Vickers: Yes. Locked up in a room.
Gordon Pepper: A bunch of them are right here. And the line is, ahem,
somewhere in America... WLTI is on!" This is Gordon Pepper, and....let's do roll call,
asking everyone - are you missing hockey?
James Dinan: James Dinan... nah.
Mike: What's this hockey you speak of?
Chico: Pond soccer, Mike.
Joe Van Ginkel: I'm "Game Show Man" Joe Van Ginkel, and I say
Gordon: As long as they replace it with game shows and
celebrity bowling, the
NHL can stay on strike - FOREVER!
Rob Seidelman: Trading in Hockey for Schwab and I'd Do
Anything, Robert W.
Seidelman says smartest decision ever for ESPN.
Mike: and I'm still Mike Klauss, who knows nothing about ponds
Ryan: I'm Ryan Vickers, and as the token Canadian, no I'm not!
Although in my
world the Senators have won the cup.
Gordon: Go Senators!
Chico: ESPN NHL 2K5?
Ryan: With special new lockout features! be the owners OR the
Travis: Push down on your lockout and the whole season gets
Chico: Well, hockey was last week. This week? Boxing :-)
Gordon: What a delightful segue way.
Joe: EA Fight Night Round 2! WHOO! Oh we're starting.
Chico: Thank you kindly. BUT FIRST! It's the every three
Gordon: Too bad David Ruprecht isn't on the air right now. I
Sweep more than the NHL.
Ryan: What? Where's Mr. Ruprecht?
Chico: Time to round up the good, the bad, and the ugly of the
past month or
so... First, obviously, last week's Idol results. Last week,
we had an hour
long overbloated... thing. This week? Ryan delivers the
results with the gusto
of someone who took away his product. What gives? Is it the
fans or the
Gordon: I'll go for C. Feburary Sweeps are over.
Chico: Going off the board?
Joe: Then it would be both.
Travis: That, or the audience figured out that they don't have
to watch the
whole hour in order to see who lost. It's silly to program a
half hour no one
Gordon: I also think the 20,000 phone complaints to FOX, may
have also had
something to so with the last second schedule tinkering.
James: February sweeps are done, Fox needs to prop up Simple
they're making room for Pam Anderson's new sitcom. Three
reasons right there.
Ryan: Interesting use of "prop up" with "Simple Life" and
Travis: Uf. I'd rather watch TWO hours of Idol results.
Rob: I'll take the Anderson sitcom.
Gordon: I don't mind either show - as long as I put them on
Travis: Can I vote for FOX to put on a test pattern instead?
Chico: Yeah, but it would have to have the phrase "The World's
Blank" on it
Joe: What about new episodes of Greed instead?
Ryan: Or how about that MG revival we heard about?
Travis: I would take Greed or "Gordon Elliott's WWTBAM"
Rob: I wouldn't mind Murder in Small Town X.
Travis: If they actually did a murder mystery that would be
Gordon: It beats Love Cruise.
Chico: Next up, we had a lot of theme weeks in the dailies.
Let's see, Family
Feud had Stars on Ice and Surv... err, CASTAWAYS!... I still
can't get over
Travis: Yeah, can't say, The Name of That Show.
Chico: And to this day, no one knows why. Not like Mark
Burnett's mad or
anything, right? Not like if I say Survivor, I'm going to be
hit with a class
action or anything, so what gives?
Ryan: Sorta like how we can't say the name of that
Chico: Twelfth Night?
Travis: Note that the Weakest Link special had similar
Rob: No, it's Mac...
Travis: Thank you for ruining the joke, Rob.
Chico: It's not just Fox, though. This is a syndicated series,
bound by the
same constraints that bound Weakest Link, but not Hollywood
Gordon: Copyright, copyright, copyrights.
Travis: Maybe it's a trademark or a brand name, or something.
Or maybe he has
a raging case of rectal itch.
Chico: I'm guessing CBS is involved somehow.
James: Has to be a trademark issue.
Travis: That's right...H2 taped at 33.
Gordon: In a few months, we'll be getting the Castaways Vs.
The Singers who
get voted to stardom by America. Your thoughts?
Travis: Anything to see more of the AI womens...
Ryan: Playing for themselves or charity?
James: At least the AI people HAVE Family Feud experience...if
the Old Navy
ads hold up
Joe: WHOO AMANDA AVILA!
Chico: Unfortunately, Amanda isn't one of them.
Chico: Matt Rogers of season 3 - does have some Feuding
Travis: Oh, man. You were serious. <faints>
Rob: The Louie Anderson version, I believe.
Ryan: So we'll probably get to see the clips then?
Gordon: Yes, we get to see clips.
James: NO CLIPS! I don't want to see Louie anymore!
Chico: Then, of course, there's the J! Ultimate Tourney. So
far, we had two
upsets and one first... and this is only in the past six days.
Travis: Raise your hand if you laughed all the way through
James: (Hand raised)
Chico: *raises hand*
Gordon: (Raises hand and Roger Dobkowitz raises two fingers)
Ryan: lol Gordon!
Joe: Gordon wins.
Travis: The writers dropped a train on 'em that day.
James: I told a friend after that match...I thought this was
Mike: With all due respect, that episode had some ridiculously
Chico: Yeah, and Final Jeopardy! wasn't a walk in the park
James: I don't know about that...one of the "red contestants"
seemed lost the entire show...it's as if he didn't study ahead
of the taping.
Mike: At least the recent youth winners are gone. Kermin and
this year's teen
champ are gone. There's no reason a 17-year-old should play
might've been on the show before she was born.
Chico: Speaking of which, one of the youth was a killer in
Keith Williams almost had the game wrapped up, except for the
James: Patented second-half collapse. Grace had a KJ-style
flourish at the
end of the second half.
Travis: Grace came out of NOWHERE... That raises an
some of these people just sit there and study, praying that J!
them back to play again?
James: I know some people who would do that, yes.
Travis: I'd want to get back to regular life. I wonder how
much time they got
between invite and taping.
Gordon: Speaking of studying - according to Dan Avila, who was
on an earlier
show, Leszek Pawlowicz was studying for the show - and made a
prompt exit in
round one, easily the biggest upset in this round. What
Travis: Leszek had a costly mistake, and Tad gave the right FJ.
Ryan: A brain fart for Leszek, unfortunate.
Chico: And on the penultimate clue, no less.
Rob: Sad moment.
Chico: The look on his face that said "I think I just bought
Gordon: I'm sure he'll be singing Oklahoma songs in his head
from now on. He
bowed his head down, like he was waiting for a samurai to lop
it off - and
Tad did just that to him.
Travis: Oh, wah. So he lost. Welcome to the realm of mortals.
James: Two painful moments for me this week... 1. Bernard
going thru that
Oscar quote category. 2. The Egyptian visual category
Travis: The really painful thing is that B just kept going
back to it, and
back to it. That is the kind of category you leave to rot.
Ryan: Uma, Oprah. Oprah, Uma.
Rob: Letterman's not so golden moment.
James: Same thing with the Egypt category. It was the first
in DJ, and Diane (I believe) kept picking it, even though she
had no clue.
Defensive strategies don't work on J!
Travis: Not during a TOC, anyway.
Chico: I concur.
Mike: James hit it. You have to be aggressive. Being defensive
doesn't work. See Bob Harris. He made some very bold moves and
Gordon: You play to win the game!
Travis: It is time to kick ass and take names.
Chico: Especially in this tournament where you have to win or
Mike: Does that mean we should be seeing more "I'll make it a
Chico: I wouldn't be surprised.
Rob: Especially later into the tourney.
Ryan: Could you imagine if they had built in Wild Cards? "Hi,
and I had $23,051 in Day 32..."
Gordon: Using another sports cliche - when you are playing
this sort of
tournament, you have to play to win - not play to not lose,
we've seen contestants
do that and costing them dearly.
Travis: Being bold and being a flaming dumbass are apart and
James: You have to know your limitations, especially in
Mike: If they threw in the Karl Coryat and Myron Meyer wild
cards, I'd be in
Travis: And I'd turn 30 the day they crowned a champion.
Mike: Why does everybody mention that number?!
Mike: Sorry, a tad apprehensive about the aging process.
Travis: Oh, wait, just the two big winners who got smacked
James: Hey...I'm 31, and I'm surviving!
Gordon: Moving on - we go to our favorite show that hasn't hit
the air yet -
the Contender. According to Police Reports, Najai 'Nitro'
Turpin's suicide was
considered relationship related, and not show related. Does
this change your
mind about the show?
James: No...I'm still not watching it.
Rob: Nope, and I will watch it.
Travis: No, and I'll still give it a try.
Chico: Nope. Still don't care either way.
Mike: I had no plans to watch The Contender. Now I might catch
one show. I'm
not a boxing fan. I'll leave this one to Senor Van Ginkel.
Ryan: We'll have to work in AJJ for him :-)
Gordon: Your opinion, Senor Van Ginkel?
Mike: Foxy boxing?
Travis: I for one, would like to see a boxing contest that
scores by amateur
rules, and not just beating the snot out of the other guy.
Rob: Vickers with a low blow.
Ryan: I was trying to be supportive actually... :-)
Travis: Have Amy Jo be the ring card gal.
Ryan: Excellent idea Travis!
Gordon: Back to the Contender - the police have ruled that the
suicide is not
show related. Does this change your opinion of the show and
will you watch it?
Joe: No. I still probably won't watch. Remind me what day it
Chico: Starts out on Monday. Then it airs on Thursday. Then
its regular time
Gordon: The boxing people still aren't going to watch the show
- could this
Travis: So, the suicide hasn't changed the opinion of anyone.
Travis: Oh, good. Do what killed "Twenty-one". [sigh]
Joe: Sunday. I'll probably be watching "Extreme Makeover: Home
Gordon: Celebrity Poker Showdown - and The Starlet, which I
have to recap.
Joe: Am I mad or is Constance Ramos hot?
Travis: I'll be flipping between Simpsons and Ty Pennington.
Rob: Extreme Dodgeball reruns.
James: Gotta go with Simpsons.
Joe: And does Ty Pennington need that megaphone rammed up his
Chico: Yes. Yes he does.
Joe: I mean I like the guy, but seriously...
Ryan: I'll agree for the square, Peter.
Gordon: Ty Pennington - the Jimmy Hart of our era.
Ryan: At least he has a job... unlike Paige Davis....
Rob: Well, maybe TLC will dump their home makeover shows.
Joe: Davis is cute, but it was only a matter of time before
the public got
sick of her.
Mike: Joe's in shock, thinking about AJJ boxing ;-)
Chico: Well, as we think about Paige Davis, we think about
Smarts, which had so many theme shows that I can't possibly
remember them all.
Wait. thought of one. Home Improvement Smarts. I'm opening it
for a Big Board.
Actually, there is the one boxing-themed Revenge Week.
Ryan: Valentine's Day proposals.
Rob: Co-Hosts week.
Gordon: Underwater Smarts, Reality Week and of course, the
Travis: The "Smartsy Awards".
Rob: Just when is the $100,000 tourney going to happen.
Gordon: Let's flip to another show that has us scratching our
Perfect. It's ending this weekend - with almost zero fanfare.
Joe: Simple. It sucked.
Rob: The time change.
Ryan: Umm... it's in a Saturday death slot?
Chico: And it was just bad?
James: A little bit of A and a little bit of B
James: ABC tried this last year with that one-time Adam
Carolla special, and
it bombed. CBS should have known better, and the audience is
know that any non-Fox series that airs a fresh episode on
Saturday is either (A)
bad and/or (B) being burned off.
James: Clubhouse, The Will, Race to the Altar, The XFL :-)
Gordon: The repeats of The Apprentice and The Amazing Race
Ryan: And to think they were going to put Amazing Race on
Chico: That would've been a disaster. Heh. Well,
there's a bright side. At
least it isn't American Dream Derby...That one ended with zero
fanfare AND was
dumped the day afterwards.
James: I was a bit surprised to see highlights of the final
Derby race on the
likes of ESPN and CNN-International.
Rob: Isn't the only two shows that don't fail in that Saturday
time slot the
PIR Million Dollar Specials and Big Brother?
Chico: About that, yeah.
James: For the most part. The networks (outside Fox) just gave
Joe: Easy to see why.
Rob: Hard to beat Cops and America's Most Wanted.
Gordon: You know it's a slow TV night if COPS and America's
Most Wanted are
your highest watched programs.
Chico: Heh. Or you're just holding out to MadTV.
Gordon: That too - It's better than SNL.
Mike: I must be the only person in this room who watches and
the TV on FOX every Saturday night.
James: You and my father.
Mike: If it wasn't for AMW, the BTK killer would still be out
there. And we'd
probably be looking for a person who went after fast food
Gordon: Maybe that is a good use for Saturday nights after
all. We got one
more thing before going to break. Last Monday was Bachelor
night - in a good
way, as Ryan Sutter (accompanied by Trista Rehn) wins Reality
Rob: Worth it to see Omarosa squirm.
James: Will this mean we'll never see Trista and Ryan again?
Gordon: ...And also...in a bad way, as for the first time in
era, someone spurns the person of their choosing, as Jen says
"I don't" to 2 people. This was a very accurate posting of the history of The
Bachelor - is this
show on its way out?
James: Will someone please take the Bachelor/ette behind the
stable and shoot
it out of its misery?
Joe: Can we please have this show killed? They've already
O'Connell's brother as the next Bachelor.
Rob: Is it too late to say that Bachelor(ette) will have one
more show and
then go bye bye?
Gordon: Do we send the Bachelorette out on the Dream Derby
Joe: I'll bet Mark L. Walberg is glad he jumped ship from this
Ryan: Surely ABC can dump it now that they've got those other
James: Reportedly, ABC is contracted to air 2 more Bachelors,
but I can see
the Alphabet buying out the last one after Jerry's brother's
shows end, or farm
it out to ABC Family.
Rob: Won't happen.
Joe: If they're smart, they'll buy it out. KILL BACHELOR NOW!
Gordon: Chico - your thoughts on The Bachelor series - is it
time for it to
ride off on a Dream Derby horse?
Chico: Too lame. It needs to be shot.
Gordon: And with that, we ride off in the sunset to break,
where we debut a
new game and get a jury going.
Chico: Angry men and a few good reasons... after the break.
(Today's Big Board has been brought to you by FlashGames. Check out
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flashgameshows.com... wait, an
actual sponsor? =p)
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