March 5, 2005

Gordon: Wait a sec...Chico...an actual SPONSOR??!!!?!?!
Joe: ANOTHER new TTD game over at FlashGames?
Chico: Shocked me, too. Like Halle Berry at the Razzies =p. Kidding. We love the site =p Okay, we're back with our regular crew here on We Love to Interrupt, and it's time for WLTI Criminal Court Part 2, aka We the Jury. The honorable Gordon Pepper presiding.
Ryan: Sorta like Law and Order then?
Chico: Only without the order... and the law for that matter.
Gordon: Order in my court!
Mike: I get to be Judge Mablean Ephraim... Err, maybe not.
Gordon: We have people brought up on various crimes and offenses - you decide if they are guilty.
Joe: I'll be Jack McCoy.
Gordon: Capisce?
Joe: Ya.
Rob: Yes, your honorable one.
Mike: Got it.
Gordon: First one...

Accused - The Jeopardy Champions
Crime - Failure to understand the scoring system - especially the old contestants, who have been making really bad Final Jeopardy and Daily Double Wagers

Gordon: Jury?
Mike: Wouldn't Jeopardy contestants who were on way back when just have to double their perceived bets?
Rob: Not Guilty: They are playing their style of game. The way they became champions.
Mike: Err, I see. You're talking about strategy-wise.
Gordon: yes.
Chico: There've been a few exceptions to this rule, as we've had two close
ones. They knew what the score was. I'd have to say not guilty.
Joe: Not guilty: the J! scoring system isn't that hard to understand. Sounds
more like bad beats to me.
Ryan: Not guilty. They've just got to think it out a bit more, that's all.
Mike: There are some very basic tenets about Jeopardy wagering. Maybe those guidelines weren't as apparent in 1991 as they are today? *shrug* I say not guilty.
Gordon: Is this a merciful Jury?
Chico: That depends. Give me something guilty beyond a reasonable doubt.
James: Not guilty.
Gordon: I'm guessing it's hard to convict your game-show playing peers, eh?
Chico: Not really. Just give me a reasonable doubt.

Gordon: Next one...

Accused - CBS Executives

Joe: GUILTY...er... Maybe I should wait for Gordon...
James: Not yet Joe :-)
Joe: That what I just said!

Crime - Stuffing Rob and Amber in Amazing Race just for ratings purposes and not caring about how they would actually do, hence creating another potentially quick reality exit (ie Donny and Alison of Big Brother5 fame)

Chico: Hmmm... Let me think about that... Guilty.
Ryan: Guilty. Plain and simple.
Joe: I was right the first time: GUILTY. But it sounds from initial reports
that Rob and Amber are holding their own.
James: Guilty...we already know CBS is going to do a wedding show with Fric and Frac...forcing the two down our throats could actually hurt the ratings for said wedding.
Gordon: I think that if they do well, then it doesn't hurt them - and the fact that they are putting them in the main storyline means that they last a while.
Chico: Didn't they do that with Alison & Donny, though?
Gordon: Not really - they noted that they are there in the first episode, but
they didn't really spend much time on them, as they made a quick exit.
Ryan: Didn't they win the first leg IIRC?
Chico: Yeppers.
Gordon: They spent A LOT of time on Rob and Amber, though, which means to me that they will be a storyline.
Ryan: Guilty in any case.
Gordon: Rest of the jury?
Chico: Guilty.
Rob: Guilty.
Mike: I don't know...
Gordon: Joe?
Mike: I don't want to be the holdout but I am not sure about guilt.
Joe: Already answered. Guilty.
Mike: Just to be different, not guilty.
Chico: Heh.

Gordon: Still a lot of guiltys. As Punishment.....
Chico: The female must bed the bald one! =p
Ryan: What is that about Chico? :-)
Mike: *quickly shaves head* Wait in line, cue ball!
Chico: Sorry. Got ahead of myself there =p
Gordon: The CBS executives have to watch the whole season of Wickedly Perfect back to back while being stuck in the same rooom with Pete the Pelican and Magilla the Monkey from Survivor! Next up...a PAIR of charges. Both against....

Accused - American Idol Producers
Charge #1 - Being too mean and cold-hearted on the first results show.


Gordon: Jury?
Chico: Guilt?
Joe: Hmm...No, I have to say Not Guilty.
Chico: Seacrest made Simon look like a pansy. Plus, you tell one person that they are safe, then turn about and boot them...
Rob: Gotta go not guilty.

Gordon: OK - so not guilty on the first charge. The Second charge...

Charge #2 - Not giving some of the singers any airtime, therefore leading to their week 1 demise.


Gordon: How say you?
Rob: Gotta go not guilty again.
Joe: Not guilty. They were voted off because they sucked.
Chico: Not guilty. Agree with Joe.
Gordon: So as much as everyone moans at them, you still don't convict them in a court of public opinion. Interesting....
Chico: Plus, you could say that Janay didn't get face time, yet she's still
there. Same with Nikko Smith, who didn't get face time AND had a name change! Yet HE's still there.

Gordon: Next case...

Accused - The Wheel of Fortune Producers AND the Wheel of Fortune Wheel
Crime - Prize Overpopulation. Is it just me, or is every third space some sort of prize or certificate that we don't hear about until you land on it?

Chico: It's just you. Not guilty.
Joe: GUILTY.
Mike: Product placement. Ain't it grand?
James: It seems that way sometimes.
Chico: I mean, I hear about the prizes, but not every third spin of the wheel.
James: But of course, since you can't buy that ceramic moose for $500 after a puzzle anymore, you have to find a place for it somewhere.
Mike: I don't think the wheel's guilty more than the producers. Ultimately,
they decide what goes on the wheel.
Ryan: Guilty. It all started with the sponsored jackpot space...
Rob: Guilty.
Mike: I say not guilty. Hey Ryan, how is your luggature? O:-)
Ryan: Ha ha! Declined it for tax purposes (and possible ugliness!)
Gordon: James, you have the casting verdict - your vote is...?
James: Guilty.

Gordon: Convicted - the Wheel of Fortune Producers for Prize overpopulation and the Wheel as an accessory for the crime. The Punishment - the producers have to go back to the old shows, do an inventory of all of the prizes, and then make like Charlie O'Donnell and announce EVERY prize before donating them all to charity. Consider this community service =).
Chico: How benevolent.
Gordon: Your community wouldn't mind, would they?
Ryan: As long as the Dalmatians are around, it's all good.
Gordon: We'll ship the Dalmatians off to you. Last one - but this isn't a
charge. This is actually a parole hearing.

Up for Parole - Mike Fleiss.

Chico: Denied! Denied!
Gordon: Will you WAIT?
Chico: OK.

Reasons - Despite his universally despised Bachelor, The Will, Superstar USA and Big Man on Campus series, His Gilligan's Island gets renewed by TBS, showing that he can do more than bad cheesy relationship shows. Do we give him any sort of props?

James: Yes, he can do cheesy reality shows.
Joe: Denied.
Mike: I must agree. Parole denied.
Ryan: Well we can see which way Chico is leaning ;-)
Chico: De-(^_^)ing-nied! Based on Gordon's earlier Bachelorette commentary alone.
Gordon: I think Chico needs to be more in touch with his feelings.
Rob: I'll Grant him Parole. I liked Gilligan's Island.
Gordon: There's always one in the bunch, isn't there? But hence, there are
far more no's than yess's, so no parole for Mr. Fleiss.

Gordon: OK - We are out of cases for the week. Chico, what do we have next?
Chico: Next up, fun with spontaneity with Five Good Reasons. Stick around!

(Sponsored by Average Joe - 2005. The Joe this time - Joe Van Ginkel, as he chooses from a bevy of reality female stars. Also starring Amy Jo Johson, Amanda Avila, Jessica Biel, and anyone else in his dreams.)

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