Episode 22.12
November 30

Jason: Oh my goodness.
Gordon: Do they also make 'Reality Blows Get out of Jail Cards' too?
Jason: Do I have to even start
Chico: Plenty. I have a few right here! Welcome back... and if you're still watching... BLESS YOU.
Gordon: Achoo!
Josh: Gesundheit
Chico: Now it's time for Game Show in My Hat. I happen to have a hat right here! *breaks out his Yankees hat*
Gordon: Nice!
Josh: Booooooo!
Jason: WOOT!
Josh: *puts on his Pirates 1960 hat*
Chico: 3-1. Sorry, Josh
Gordon: Don't hate The Yankees because they are beautiful!
Josh: 1960, need I say more?
Chico: .. True. So tell us how this works, G.
Gordon: It works this way: We pull out scenes and you act them out.
Jason: Alright.
Josh: Ready to rumble
Gordon: For example if I say...

The next Celebrity on 5th Grader who you do NOT want to see on the show...

Gordon: You say...
Chico: "Hi, I'm Spencer Pratt. I'm tough (^_^)!"
Josh: *comes out smoking a stogie and a glass of booze as Ron White* Just call me Tater Salad.
Jason: Hi. I am Heidi Montag. We are playing for the Spencer Pratt/Heidi Montag foundation." We love us! You kids must worship us!
Chico: huggles!
Gordon: (Keyshawn Johnson) Just gimme the damn question! (/Keyshawn Johnson)
Jason: LOL
Chico: That's a little wrong right there... I hugged Jason Block... Eww. =p Next..

The next "great" Deal or No Deal gimmick.

Jason: Get this fellas...how about 26 $500,000 cases?
Chico: *explodes*
Josh: Good un.
Chico: One of these cases has.... the antidote.
Jason: or...get this...how about one legged unemployed WWE nurses week?
Josh: One of these cases doesn't have money in it... It's the contract to be the next writer for Deal or No Deal!
Gordon: It's Deal or No Deal Unemployed Model week! That's right, 22 now unemployed Deal or No Deal models will play, but this time, they are working to keep themselves from modeling as a college mascot or the next Tinkerbell at a Peter Pan convention.
Chico: I'll have you know that Tinkerbell's voice actress is a handsome lady. =p
Gordon: Yes, but she usually doesn't go out in full regalia to Bob's Discount Furniture's Peter Pan promotion.
Jason: How about Game Show Writers week!
Chico: How about this... an audience member is going to drop the ball in the Deal Wheel!
Gordon: Oooh. Aaah. Next...

'Inside the American Idol Producer's Room for the Guest Judges Meeting'

Chico: "I swear if I hear one more Doogie joke I'm going to lose it."
Josh: Paula's gone....Were (Censored)
Jason: Victoria Beckham? Who thought up that one?
Chico: "The things some people do to get on 'Glee.'"
Josh: I GOT IT! The 1985 Chicago Bears! They had a hit song with "The Super Bowl Shuffle!"
Gordon: ...well, it worked for 5th Grader. Why not Muppets on Idol?
Jason: That's great. Statler and Waldorf rule!
Chico: Yes. Yes they do.
Jason: (pencils them in)
Chico: Also known as Randy and Simon
Jason: Don't let them hear that.
Chico: Right right. Next...

"Why Heidi Klum changed her name"

Jason: After four kids...she thought she wanted to make it legal
Josh: (OOOOH!)
Gordon: 'Well it met with the Seal of approval'.
Jason: (OUCH)
Gordon: She wanted to seal her relationship
Chico: "The truth is.... I can't spell Clumm..."... can't do it.
Josh: The Truth is ANYONE has a hard time spelling or pronouncing Khlum.
Gordon: She wanted the nay-sayers to keep their lips sealed.
Josh: "I thought it would be better than sealing it with a kiss from the rose on the grave"
Chico: I just got a little crazy.
Josh: "No we're never gonna survive unless our last names are the same"
Gordon: She now has more kids than Seal has hit U.S. Songs.
Jason: WOW.
Chico: That is a keeper. Next?
Gordon: Next one...

Since all the cool kids are doing it anyways, the next trick some reality wanna-be will do to get on TV.

Josh: Hm....I still think breaking into Fort Knox might be a good way to get on The Amazing Race...If I can do that, I can do Anything!
Jason: How about non-simulated sex?
Chico: Entry one... Get on the Hills... Entry two.... get butt kicked by total tool..
Josh: *climbing over a high wrought iron fence* I know Hugh Hefner put a restraining order on me, but that won't stop me from "The Girls Next Door"
Chico: Behold... My transforming Transformer suit.
Gordon: I can balance the national debt! Just get me on I Love New York 4! Please!
Chico: "I'm living in a millionaire's mansion!... The millionaire doesn't know that... YET."
Gordon: I know how I can get on. I'm going to video tape myself singing where in the World is Carmen DanDiego with Chico Alexander - and we'll both be in our boxer shorts!
Jason: No... A thousand times no.
Gordon: We'll be boxing in our boxers. Wouldn't that be a great Amazing Race audition tape?
Josh: Great! I'm gonna have a hard time getting that image out of my head. THANKS MR. PEPPER!
Gordon: Anytime, kid
Chico: And finally...

Zonks that didn't quite make it.

Chico: "You just won your very own Drew Carey!"
Josh: What's behind curtain number 2? An inflatable host!
Jason: "its a can of anthrax"
Josh: It's a failed batch of H1N1 Vaccine!
Chico: You just won a car.... go net.
Jason: It's a collection of Big Saturday Night DVD's.
Chico: "It's really big... down there."
Josh: It's a Biiiiiiig.... Screeeeeeeeennnn... Door.
Gordon: It's a Video Tape of Jason Block's Karaoke Performance!
Jason: Hey!
Josh: It's your own game show with Ant and Dec!
Jason: It's a dinner with Ross the Intern!
Chico: "How about a Billy Bush standee!" They look like twins. Except one's a tool, and the other's Jonathan Mangum. In case you couldn't tell, we REALLY like Let's Make a Deal.
Gordon: We do actually. And with that, we break.
Chico: When we come back, we look back at 2004... in anger. Would You Could You is next, hang on...

(Brought to you by So You Think You Can Lance. The top 20 Medieval Renaissance Horsemen from all the land will compete to see who can win the king's daughter in marriage and who will be the royal wench.)

Jason: Ren fair geeks will tune in.
Chico: I'd totally get into that.
Josh: I can see the catch phrase for that series now...'Who's getting Run Through?"
Chico: Ha. Welcome back. We're about to run through the next segment in our series, 10 Years in 2 Months. This week, we're going back to 2004.
Josh: The Delorean is set, Chico.
Chico: Thank you. It's Would You Could You 2004 Edition.
Jason: Flux Capacitor is set
Chico: Flux capacitor is... well ... fluxing. First up... Remember I said we'd get to all the GSN ribbing in due time? Welcome to due time.
Jason: Here we go! (rubs hands)

Seeing all the changes come and go to "the Network for Games", as it was called back in 2004... would you have even bothered?

Josh: *rubs his hands together in an evil manner*
Jason: Even bothered to do what?
Chico: To go through with all the changes? You know, the Blackjack, the Mole, the Fake-a-Date, the Dodgeball, the Kenny vs. Spenny.
Jason: Knowing now...NO. Some of them WERE good. But most of them were done by people who didn't know d**k about game shows.
Chico: Because in the end, you just went back to what you did well, which was.. the game shows.
Josh: I'd keep Dodgeball and Blackjack.
Chico: Some of them are still run by folk who don't know (^_^) about game shows.
Josh: You also had Arsenio Star Search....ugh.
Gordon: Actually, YES.
Chico: Can't wait to hear this one.
Gordon: Dodgeball lasted 3 seasons. Blackjack lasted for a few seasons as well. Kenny Vs. Spenny is still airing in Canada.
Chico: And on Comedy Central. Thank you South Park guys.
Gordon: GSN's problem is that they didn't FOLLOW-UP on this with any sort of promotion or campaigns, and instead let them toil.
Chico: Yeah, they're good for that. The whole "Put them on the air and let the people find them on their own."  Hate to say that's not how the business works.
Josh: The way they ran that network was absolutely rubbish.
Chico: You get the product, then you bring the product to the people.
Josh: They had a great idea with The Game Show Network, then Flushed it down the toidy.
Chico: And why? To court the general entertainment audience. How's that working out for you?
Jason: It still seems like they don't have a consistent vision.
Chico: They need to be more proactive in their courting... Put the name out there. Put the product out there.
Gordon: They don't have a consistent vision and they have to push their shows to mainstream TV and carve an identity for them.
Jason: It has to do with a consistent marketing vision.
Chico: Which they are lacking.
Jason: Not to come back to my horse...but what was the best thing that GSN has put out since 2004?
Chico: ... Catch 21?
Jason: One of them
Josh: Catch 21 and Season 2 of The Newlywed Game.
Gordon: Play it Back: Game show moments of the 70's, 80's and 90's, of course.
Chico: .. That?
Jason: GSN Radio.
Chico: Ah yeah..
Jason: You didn't have a synergy between that and the TV
Chico: No, they were in essence two different entities.
Josh: Actually they did have a little bit of a campaign on Doug Stephan's Good Day Live.
Jason: Hold on though.
Josh: As Marianne and Bob were daily guests.
Jason: Ah ok. But you know what I mean.
Josh: AND They did a GSN Radio Replay.
Jason: But once GSN had something good out there...they just let it fly.
Chico: Instead of growing it
Jason: Do you see Carnie, Alfonso out there promoting it on major shows?
Chico: no.
Gordon: We could go on all day. GSN needs to take a plan and stick with it and advertise it.
Jason: yes.
Chico: Yes.
Josh: Yes. A THOUSAND TIMES YES!
Gordon: Next one...

Would you...Audition to be someone's apprentice?

Jason: Yes and Yes.
Josh: Depends on the someone.
Chico: Why not. Learn a few things about the world along the way and get an easy job.
Jason: Trump. Yes.
Josh: I would say for the Donald, yah. For Martha, HELLS to the no!
Chico: Besides, I like a challenge.
Gordon: You had both Donald Trump AND Richard Branson's series show up in 2004.
Jason: Right.
Chico: I'd audition for either one of them
Josh: Tough Call. I'd say yes to both auditions.
Chico: Richard Branson had charisma.. Donald Trump had the know-how... It's... it's a draw for me.
Gordon: There you go. I'd do it, just to learn the makings of what makes these people tick.
Chico: Oh yeah. And it's much more entertaining than, say, a game of Trump.
Josh: Or Trump Card
Chico: ... not really. Next...

Would you be scared if you found out that you were on a game show and your opponent was... Nancy Zerg?

Josh: Yes.
Gordon: No I'd be scared if the Final Jeopardy question was about business.
Josh: She is the Giant Killer
Chico: For those of you who don't remember, Nancy Zerg was the lady who did what 150 others couldn't... she knocked off Ken Jennings.
Jason: Absolutely not.  She is, for lack of a better term...an afterthought.
Chico: She was a good player...
Jason: No she wasn't.
Chico: I mean, she knew how to play the game. Didn't know exactly how to win at it. She was a good player... not a good winner, though.
Gordon: She lost the next game out of the shoot.
Chico: So if you found her on Catch 21... Nah, wouldn't be scared.
Jason: I am sorry. I cant even call her a good player.
Chico: Fair enough. Next?
Gordon: Next one...

Would you go on a TV show and lose weight to win $250,000?

Jason: If my life depended on it...yes.
Chico: I would... but I'd watch myself afterwards. I wouldn't want to gain it back.
Josh: Considering that everything else hasn't worked, I would say yes. Money is a great motivator.
Gordon: The Biggest Loser started on October 19, 2004.
Josh: It's gone on to be better than I originally thought.
Jason: Yes. But the NY Times this week attacked the show.
Chico: Yep, saying, among other things... that a) it wasn't safe, and b) it didn't work.
Josh: The Extreme Methods?
Jason: Yes.
Gordon: To be fair, the extreme methods are being used to lose weight on a regular basis.
Chico: I'll say it again... marathon, not sprint.
Jason: Right.
Gordon: I'm more disappointed that people don't stay with the lifestyle.
Chico: It serves to prove why you went on the show in the first place...
Josh: It's very hard once you get back into your home environment.
Jason: Very much so.
Chico: It is, but not impossible. So it's not so much on the show as it is on the player. For shame, player. Next...

Would you get into a cat fight with fellow clothing designers to win $100,000 and your own national line?

Chico: Umm.. sure, why not.
Jason: If I had the talent...yes
Chico: I have ideas.
Josh: No talent at all, so No.
Chico: I ... just need to learn how to sew. There's just one problem... I have no working knowledge of women's fashion. I just have "ideas".
Gordon: Yes, this was the start of Project Runway, the show that launched Bravo into the national spotlight for game show fans.
Chico: There you go. It made Heidi Klum's TV career.
Josh: It made her a name outside of modeling. And she is a GREAT hostess.
Chico: Indeed
Jason: Indeed
Chico: Finally...
Gordon: Last one...

Would you care to go one on one with ESPN's head of research... and Gordon's mortal enemy... Howie Schwab?

Gordon: No. No No No No No.
Josh: Absolutely sure!
Jason: Oh no. He would kick my ***
Chico: Me... no.
Josh: He would kick my tail too, but I'd have fun.
Gordon: He would.
Chico: I'd get my head handed to me. TWO times.
Gordon: He'd eat me. Then he's eat Chico. Then he's east Jason, and then Josh would be dessert.
Josh: He'd choke on me, methinks.
Chico: THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID.
Josh: That's just wrong, Chico... Just. Plain. Wrong!
Chico: I know. It's wrong and I'm going to hell.
Jason: There you go
Chico: I've made peace with that. Schwab likes to eat
Jason: Yeah he does.
Gordon: And that's that. it's nice going back and looking at the major hits.
Josh: Ok, We're good to go back to 2009.
Jason: Make sure we hit 88 miles an hour
Chico: There you go. Speed Round a-Comin' up!
Josh: Wait...did someone refuel Mr. Fusion?
Jason: Yup.

(Brought to you by High Stakes Magic The Gathering. Watch card-warriors take to the felt as they outplay each other for thousands of dollars and plenty of geek cred...)

Chico: Poker... Blackjack... Pool...
Josh: I know a few boy scouts who would be the pros.
Chico: Why not an RPG card game.
Jason: There you go!
Chico: It's better than DJ Games at least. Seriously... DJ Games? What in the world?
Josh: DJ Games?
Chico: Old GSN original... basically televising crazy radio contests. It's good television. No, not really.
Gordon: It's better off that we don't bring back out to remember it.
Chico: Right. Instead, let's bring out something WORTH remembering... Speed Round Time!
Josh: (Bill Cosby)........RIIIIGHT (/Bill Cosby)
Chico: Amazing Race... Who doesn't head home?
Josh: The Globetrotters
Gordon: Meghan and Cheyne will be in the finals.
Chico: Meghan & Cheyne... the Trotters... and the brothers. Brian & Ericka... they're going home the hard way.
Jason: Chico is right.
Gordon: Chico is wrong. The Globetrotters are as dumb as a bag of hammers. They won't make it.
Chico: We'll see. Survivor...surely Russell can't survive ANOTHER week, can he?
Jason: You darn skippy he will.
Chico: He'll stay. He still has the Idol.
Jason: And he could win immunity
Josh: It's even money he goes.
Chico: I think Monica, though, needs to worry.
Gordon: Russell will be around for while. It's Dave that may not survive another week.
Chico: Okay.
Gordon: Top Chef: Who wins?
Chico: One of the brothers.
Jason: Pretty much
Josh: It's a coin flip between the brothers.
Jason: They have been leading to this all season
Gordon: I'm still staying with Kevin
Chico: My money's on Bryan. He's been a consistent player
Gordon: I also think we have some consistent mail. What do we got?
Chico: We have first up... Oh dear. It's my sister. What do I do?
Josh: Deal with it.
Jason: You publish the letter or she will kick your ***
Josh: Post the letter.
Chico: ... Good enough for me.

Jason: See what I mean?
Josh: She's running on all 8 cylinders this week isn't she?
Gordon: May I respond?
Jason: Go ahead. She's all yours.
Chico: Be my guest.
Gordon: Dear Quisla: We are guys. We like our football. We like our baseball. We like our video games and wrestling. And if you stuck us in an Abercrombie and Fitch store, at least one of us would spontaneously combust. If we don't have the 'technical understanding' on why this is the best match up since sliced bread, it is the job of the producer to explain it to us. They didn't. So hence, this is our opinion.
Chico: Well said.
Josh: Put my name on that letter too.
Chico: That's the mark of a story teller. You explain so that the dumbest of us *raises hand* gets it.
Gordon: Are shows like The biggest Loser and The Apprentice preachy? yes they are - BUT they explain why things are the way they are to a T.
Chico: This season was just hard to follow.
Jason: This season was a step back for PR6. The delay hurt their storytelling. But Season 7 I expect them to be back in form.
Chico: We'll watch season 7 and HOPE that they find their footing
Josh: *crosses fingers*
Jason: It wasn't BAD. It wasn't GREAT.
Chico: Next letter is from Steven Waldie. Thanks for reading, Steven!

Gordon: I actually agree with Steven. I know the recession is hard for car manufacturers who don't have the money, but surely there can be fun packages that could be fun to see won. That being said, money rules.
Chico: Thanks, Steven. I can't say why they decided to go the all cash route on the bonus Wheel, because honestly, I don't know. But if history is any indication, it's because... well.. people LIKE MONEY. A LOT.
Jason: I can also answer that question. Out of the 195 shows last year... Why'd they do away with shopping? Money. Why'd they do away with the parting gifts? Money. Only 10 cars were given away. 10, I believe if my stats were right.
Josh: Money does rule. If you think about it, when Wheel did the players choice of prizes, just about everyone chose the $25,000 cash
Jason: Cars devalue. Anyone want an 1985 Gucci Seville?
Josh: If I may say a quote.... Or butcher a quote. "Money gathers money, Prizes gather dust".
Jason: And you can't pay debts with a 2010 Camaro.
Gordon: You could if you sell it.
Jason: You want a car...go on TPIR. You want money, go on wheel.
Josh: Hallelujah and Amen
Chico: Lovin' get the thrills... but money pays the bills. Or some such.
Gordon: Next email?
Chico: Thanks for writing, Steven. Gordon, your friend showed up again. This one is from IDENTITY WITHHELD!
Josh: Not that joker again.

Jason: what?

(extended pause from the two hosts)

Jason: Ok then.
Chico: Can we finish the show on an upnote?
Gordon: I think we can with a letter from Brad Hasbrouck
Josh: Oh, go ahead.

Chico: Hmm... it's on Style.
Josh: I think they are already syndicated, aren't they?
Chico: Catch it if you can.
Jason: And repeats on Fine Living
Josh: Yes.
Chico: But as was proven time and time again, there's really no market in repeat reality So unless you have Style or Fine Living... good luck. I mean, Survivor reruns... gone. Amazing Race reruns.. gone. Fear Factor reruns.. gone.
Josh: American Idol Rewind?
Chico: ... relegated to TV Guide Channel.
Gordon: They have more than enough episodes for Syndication, but syndie reality episodes don't run well because you know who wins.
Josh: Yuck.
Jason: Very yuck.
Chico: But yeah, there's no market in reality reruns, because the primary objective is already fulfilled. We watch to see who wins. Once you see who wins... Why watch?
Chico: right?
Jason: Right.
Josh: (Bill Cosby) ......RIIIIIGHT! (/Bill Cosby)
Gordon: The one thing here though - You can actually learn tips from the show, so it does have rerun value.
Josh: Yah, but I can't see a college course on Reality Survival 101.
Chico: Yeah, but not enough to warrant it on the schedule. Unless you're Fox Reality and even then it's... oh wait... And on that bombshell, we're going to call it a show. Remember, if you have a game show question, we'd love to hear it.
Gordon: Get in touch with us at wlti@gameshownewsnet.com or Facebook, MySpace or YouTube
Chico: Big thanks to Jason Block and Agent Josh for hanging out today.
Jason: Much thanks.
Josh: An honor and pleasure as always.
Chico: As always, we know you have a choice in game show news and views and we thank you for choosing us. Until next week, he's Gordon, I'm Chico, the show is WLTI. Game over, and spread the love :)