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Episode 16.11
November 12
Chico: Today
on the big show... while everyone's waiting for Christmas to arrive, we take
time to give thanks to the players who... a) came from behind... b) played for a
cause.... c) never said die... d) made it work... e) admitted that they weren't
just PLAYING dumb... and f) remembered that there's a time to mourn... and a
time to dance.
Gordon: and don't forget G. Never went on Strike.
Chico: We give thanks to the game, as from somewhere in America, the
four-days-before Turkey Day edition of We Love to Interrupt... is... ON!
Gordon: Yay! Gordon here, along with Chico and Don Harpwood.
Chico: Don, as a Canadian, do you find it weird that we're talking Thanksgiving
on a November?
Don: It kinda feels weird to me, but I understand.
Chico: Just making sure everyone's cool with it. Now we can begin the action,
and we begin with the underdog taking it all. If you had Celeste DiNucci to win
the Jeopardy! TOC, then go hit up your friends.
Gordon: And Celeste this season definitely earned it.
Chico: Oh yeah.
Don: Definitely.
Chico: She went up against two big'uns in the form of Doug Hicton and Cliff
Galiher.
Gordon: Twice during the Tournament, she used quality betting to claim the
victory. Once in the semi-finals, and once in the Championship game.
Chico: Just goes to show you that knowledge is only half of the game; you also
have to have strategy, and that's why ToC time is my favorite time of the year.
Because you have 15 players, anyone can take it, but only the well-rounded ones
usually do. Such was the case of Celeste. Didn't get the final right, but didn't
need to given her point total.
Gordon: And you have to have smarts in the wagering also. This was the first
season where I saw a tie in the semi-finals.
Don: I hadn't seen a tiebreaker for myself either until that game.
Chico: First season YOU saw. There was one some 20 years ago. Back when I was a
little Chairman :-)
Gordon: And if you ever wanted to know what happens in a tournament time, it's a
1 question sudden death off.
Chico: And I believe Celeste was the principal beneficiary of that game. Let's
see the Tiebreaker clue... In the category of Child's Play...
A Longfellow poem & a Lillian Hellman play about a girls' boarding school
share this timely title
Chico: Answers, please.
Don: I did see this, but I don't remember the response. Umm...
Chico: Gordon?
Gordon: What is Valley of the Dolls? :-)
Chico: No. But you're thinking.
Gordon: Awww
Chico: Valley of the Dolls is a strip club somewhere in north Jersey, I'm
guessing. It was "The Children's Hour."
Gordon: Actually, that would be Satin Dolls. Valley of the Dolls is a movie
about models doing drugs. Celeste wins that, then she gets the wager right on
the last question. Doug could have won it, but he bet too much on the last
question. If he got it right, he wins the tournament and $250,000, but it goes
to Celeste instead. What is the final question, Chico?
Chico: The FINAL Final was... Colonial American Government, the category... The
clue...
From the Latin for "fortified town", this term later referred to a
person--the representative of a town or borough
Chico: You have 30 seconds, Gordon and Don. Good luck. (hums J! tune) Okay,
players. Light pens down. Don?
Don: Hmm. I have a couple of guesses, though I'm not 100% sure with either one.
I'll guess "What is Ambassador?"
Chico: Good guess... Gordon?
Gordon: What is a Payola Patron? Hey, it's Alliterative. Am I right?
Chico: At least one of you is a Pickler-sized moron.... We'll get to that later,
folks. The correct response: "what is a burgess?"
Don: Ah.
Chico: You're both wrong. Cliff got this one right, but it didn't really help
him much. Again, congrats to Celeste diNucci, a quarter mill richer, and if
she's reading, drop us a line, we'd love to hear from you.
Gordon: We would. We'd also love to hear from Cameron Mathison, now that he has
some free time on his hands. Cameron is the latest person to be bounced from
Dancing With the Stars.
Chico: Proving the old adage, you can't ride Edyta Sliwinska to a win. It's
theoretically impossible. But the real winners this week, Helio & Julianne, who
posted the night's only 30. It was on a quickstep, and whoa... how many racing
metaphors can you people fill?
Gordon: You can say they are looking to sprint to the end. What about a
veritable Race to the Altar? The rubber of their shoes hit the road. They get
the checkered flag from the judges. Shall I continue?
Chico: Please, God no. Well, they're going to have one heck of a hazard to
overcome, and that is, a semi-final that includes them, the equally-as-able Mel
& Maks, Jennie & Derek, and Marie & Jonathan. Who's your favorite going into the
semis, Mr. Pepper?
Gordon: Before we do that. I have some mail. This is from Bobby McBride. Thanks,
Bobby!
To: WLTI
From: Bobby McBride
IMO, I think Jennie Garth's team has their work cut out against them. I think
they need to get 30s on both of their dances next week to have any chance of
making it to the finals.
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Gordon: My favorite is Mel B., and I agree with Bobby. My favorite to be leaving
the show will be Miss Garth.
Chico: Which really sucks, because I was hoping for a Helio/Jennie final, if
only for the inevitable Family Feud jokes :-) But seriously, I like Mel B, and I
like Helio at this point.
Gordon: Mel - Favorite, Helio - Man (There has never been an all female final
2), Marie - Sympathy, which leaves Jennie as 4th.
Chico: Understandable.
Gordon: Meanwhile, we have a show that has some early favorites, because it
premiered this week - Project Runway.
Chico: Ah, Project Runway, the one show I care to see... yet I can't. Because I
don't have Bravo. You may awwwww...
Gordon: Chico needs a hug. Huuuuuuuug
Chico: Man Hug! Why not, I've already had pirate wenches on me this weekend. But
seriously, Gordon. You saw what happened. Care to inform us in a nutshell?
Gordon: Fermi is the first person to win a challenge, and he gets immunity in
the next episode. Simone and Elisa were in the bottom two. Simone is there
because her dress had no wow factor. Elisa's dress was creative, and it looked
like her dress pooped all over the floor. Leaving the first episode is...Simone.
The Moral of Project Runway: Taking a chance > trying to be safe.
Chico: Literally pooped?
Don: lol
Gordon: There was a segment of fabric coming from the back of the dress, which
led it looked like a Technicolor snail train
Chico: Was it a brown snail train?
Gordon: More like a blue/green peacock trail.
Chico: So more like corporate synergy?
Gordon: Technically. Speaking of synergy, lets go to Deal or no Deal, where a
couple could win 100...MILLION...DOLLARS!!!!!!11111!!!!! I have 150 cases here,
Chico.
Chico: Oh my god, you ARE serious.
Don: That's a lot of cases!
Gordon: Behind 2 of them are 2 pieces of a Hershey's Kiss. Select both halves
and I'll give you 100 million dollars. What 2 cases do you want?
Chico: 53 and 77. I'm just being random here.
Gordon: Well, 3 teams had a chance. Each team had 3 sets of 150 cases. The
winning sets are... 43 and 149, 64 and 104, and 73 and 87 (soooo close, Chico)
Each team did win $100,000 as a consolation prize. The question - is this a good
stunt for viewers to watch a team attempt to win 100 million dollars or is this
a lame time-waster?
Chico: I'll take "Lame stunt" for $200, Alex?
Don: Seemed lame to me. I mean, picking the right 2 cases out of 150? Granted,
that is a lot of money, so it has to be quite difficult, but still...
Gordon: I agree. It does NOTHING for the show, and the chances of even getting
any excitement are close to nil.
Chico: And it's wasted time. Three teams, $150 mill... Who cares?
Gordon: Meanwhile, contestant Rebecca wins $60,000 while she had $10,000 in her
case.
Chico: That's good profit.
Don: Yep.
Gordon: It is. continuing through November Sweeps, we have all wondered of
Kellie Picker. Was her playing 'dumb blonde' for real, or was it an act? She was
competing on 5th Grader this week for charity, and you would think that she
would be playing this as hard as she can. If this was the case, than her dumb
blonde routine...not an act. Can I have a big board please?
Chico: Before the board, I need to make an announcement.
Gordon: Please do.
Chico: And I want you all to help me.
Gordon: I'd love to
Don: Alright.
Chico: For those of you who would like to get on 5th Grader... or the Feud for
that matter.. Gentlemen...
Everyone: EUROPE IS NOT A COUNTRY!
Gordon: I'd also like to tell our compadres in Canada and all around the
world...Kellie Pickler is not an average intellectual sample of our country.
Chico: In fact... she's a moron.
Don: Indeed.
Gordon: Now that we've gotten that out of the way - Big Board please
Things I Learned from Kellie Pickler
- Bonjour = French
- Two E's in watermelon
- Piccolo & Percussion start with P
- Budapest is the capital of France
- Franklin Pierce has piercings
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Gordon:
Subject Matter - Things I learned from Kellie Pickler
Chico: Ooohh.
Gordon: 1st Question. Roadrunners are Birds, true or false
Chico: True, of course. Learned that from Warner's.
Don: Certainly true.
Gordon: Kellie says True. Right! Next up - Bonjour means Good Day in what
Language?
Don: French!
Chico: French?
Gordon: It's French! So far, so good. How may E's are in the word Watermelon?
Chico: That'd be 2 if my eyes don't deceive.
Gordon: After a lot of hemming and hawing, she says...2.
Don: Yeah, 2.
Gordon: She's right again! Are you all impressed so far?
(crickets chipring)
Chico: ... no, not really.
Gordon: The piccolo is a member of what musical family? Woodwind, Strings, or
percussion?
Chico: Woodwind.
Don: Woodwind.
Gordon: Kellie says...Percussion
Chico: Wrong-o.
Gordon: Now a piccolo DRUM is a percussion instrument, but it's called a Piccolo
Drum, not a piccolo. Kellie gets saved by her classmate, however, and we
continue.
Don: She had some weird logic to arrive at that answer...
Gordon: Yes. P in piccolo and P in percussion both start with P. Wha?
Chico: So does porcupine.
Gordon: Porcupine is not an instrument. Next question - Budapest is the Capital
of what European Country?
Don: Hungary.
Gordon: Kellie -'I thought Europe was a country'
Chico: Hungary.
Gordon: Kellie thinks that they speak French in Budapest
Chico: .... no.
Gordon: 'Kellie - I'm listening to what you're saying, but I'm only hearing what
I want to' That explains a lot.
Chico: There's your problem!
Gordon: Jeff tells her that its because she's a woman, and the boos come down.
Don: Ouch.
Chico: Oh, this isn't going well
Gordon: Kellie decides to copy. She would have said France. So - where is
Budapest located?
Chico: Hungary!
Gordon: Nathan (aka Mini-Gordon) says...Hungary
Chico: Because, you know... he looks (and acts) just like you.
Gordon: And yes, he does look like me. Which of the following people was a US
president: John Hopkins, Franklin Pierce, Brigham Young? The answer of course
is...
Don: Pierce.
Gordon: Chico?
Chico: Of course. Pierce.
Gordon: Kellie has her ears pierced, so she goes with Pierce, and they both have
'P's., while her last letters of her name matches his. She is...right for
$50,000.
Chico: Whatever gets her to sleep at night.
Gordon: Kellie's last question - How many canine teeth are in a typical teeth
are in a typical adult human mouth?
Chico: I'm going to say 4, G.
Don: 4
Gordon: Kellie drops out with $50,000. She would have said 4 - and she would
have been right.
Chico: Aww.
Gordon: But she got $50,000. Thoughts?
Chico: Very entertaining to watch her play, and I know the Red Cross is going to
do a lot of good with that money. But the moment that speaks to Kellie as a
person... "I've already said it, and I gotta say it again?" Right before she
launches into the show's catchphrase.
Don: Oh yeah, because she actually said it before starting the game. Forgot
about that.
Gordon: Kellie. Lovable. IQ of...well...she's lovable. Now if you're looking for
smarter game show celebrities, we can go with Jeff Probst.
Chico: The once and future host of Jeopardy! conquers another show?
Gordon: Not quite. He does show up well for himself though. Jeff and his partner
wins $6,100
Chico: Not bad.
Don: Nice.
Gordon: Alison Sweeney of the Biggest Loser...skunked
Chico: Of course that gets augmented to $10,000 for his charity.: But the winner
of that show was Paige Hemmis and her partner...
Gordon: Which is nice. On the real Survivor, we see the tribes go back to a
Pagonging, as Frosti gets bounced.
Chico: See what happens when you get too close to Courtney? Now she's a threat
to win the whole game. Who thought about that eight weeks ago, I asked?
Gordon: She could be - but she won't win. Here's the problem - There's no more
unlikable people left. Now it comes down to who has been the better strategist.
Courtney has done...nothing
Chico: Meanwhile, two weeks into the 12th Race, and Pat & Kate are no longer in
the hunt.
Gordon: Pat and Kate were a nice team, but they made too many blunders on that
episode as well.
Chico: Mostly bike related. And all the while, Ronald & Christina are now
endangered if he doesn't learn to stop being an ass.
Gordon: Just a reminder. The Amazing race will help the best teams win money; it
is not here to help people's relationship problems.
Chico: No. that's what Dr. Phil is for :-)
Gordon: And...oh no. Who left My Network on next to the Hamster Cage?
Chico: I think Jason was tending to the hamsters last time.
Gordon: Jason left it on before he left to go to Delaware this week, didn't he?
Chico: .... Oh geez. Well, if they end up breaking it, I'm not buying a new one.
Sorry.
Gordon: They didn't break it. They are now doing Hamster House in the Cage.
Fluffy is sick of Chen-Bots constant droning. And Cheeseball is accusing Cuckoo
of hogging up the air time.
Chico: Speaking of, these hamster check-ins are taking too long.
Gordon: Go get them into shape. I'll say my line. Roll That Beautiful Brain
Footage.
 (Doug:
Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your
frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico
Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)
Chico: Thanks, Doug. First thing's first. Time for the Strike Watch Business
End.
 After
Thanksgiving, on Monday, Nov. 26, writers and the major studios plan to sit down
once again to try to hammer out an agreement.
Chico: Talks are indeed a sign of progress, but again, watch out for huge
hurdles... This from the LA times. Again, right now the most unstable thing on
TV is its own schedule.
Gordon: I'm glad they are going into talks. That being said, they have some
major hurdles. The Broadway Union had talks also this past week, but those talks
broke down.
Chico: The chances of overcoming said hurdles... eh?
Gordon: It's all about the money.
Chico: Networks are picking up orders for new scripts and halting production at
the same time. Which leads to the instability argument. Right?
Gordon: Right. Everything is unstable, and the only certainty is that there will
be programming. We just don't know what it is or what it will do on TV.
Chico: But as soon as we find out, you find out. Right?
Gordon: Right. And speaking of which, do you want a date with Richard Karn?
Chico: No... Thank... you.
Don: Nah.
 Well
for everyone else, as have a Family Feud Marathon on GSN this Thursday.
Gordon: Perhaps you prefer Magicians.
Chico: Mebbe
Don: Depends.
We have the season finale of Phenomenon on Wednesday, which says a lot if you
think that a finale will be on a Wednesday that isn't expect to draw any sort of
ratings.
Chico: *cocks*... *shoots*... *watches dead duck fall from sky*
Gordon: Pretty much
Chico: Yeah. Good news...
Deal or No Deal's also on that night.
Gordon: Then when we're all done, will Criss Angel and Uri Geller get fully
loaded?
Chico: Let's hope.
 The
world of iDVDs is getting a little larger nowadays. 1 vs. 100 was recently
released, and coming soon... the Singing Bee. And next fall, Hasbro's coming out
with the iDVD version of Merv Griffin's Crosswords.
Chico: For realsies. So if you don't have a DVD player... get with the times
already
Gordon: I think that Crosswords could actually do well with its audience.
Chico: Smart people with DVDs who like to play games with their DVDs and do
stuff with DVDs?
Gordon: Those are very smart people. Unfortunately, we're now in the area of
people who aren't very smart - and no, we're not going to go after Kellie
Pickler.
Chico: Yeah, we already did that.
 Are
you smarter than...the programming heads at NBC and ABC? In a week of repeats,
both networks decide to put their game programming - Duel for ABC and Clash of
the Choirs for NBC - directly against each other. Wha?
Chico: Don't make me choose!
Gordon: Why are you making us game show fans choose? Would it hurt if we saw one
of the shows at 9p instead of an moldy rerun?
Don: Yeah! I hate having to choose between 2 shows that look good...
Chico: I know, right? That just defeats the purpose.
Gordon: But the good news is that we have Good News Haterade!
 Because
of the new shows, National Bingo Night 2 is now yanked off the air and won't be
seen until 2008. Yay!
Chico: Woo!
Don: Cool!
Gordon: Good News Haterade. Who'd have thunk it?
Chico: ... Good news from you? Wow. Okay, who wants to go global?
Gordon: Shocked. Let's go spanning the globe
Don: Where to?
Chico: We've seen the US version of the Singing Bee. We've seen the NZ
version... But this is what India has to offer.
 Bol
Baby Bol, a competitive lyrics series, has launched on Indian TV last Friday
Gordon: You knew that was coming
Chico: Yep. Truly the world loves a song. They love it even more when you don't
know the words to it.
Gordon: Do they love it when they are casting for media hoes?
Chico: They sure do. Hey Gordon! ¿Hablas español?
Gordon: Si Papi.
Chico: ¿Vives en Austin?
Gordon: No, no vivo en Austin.
Well, if you live in Austin and speak Spanish, then Que Dice La Gente wants
to have a word or two.
Gordon: Que Bueno!
Chico: That's Austin, Dec. 2. For information, call 713-569-9608 (English) or
832-646-8096 (Spanish).
Meanwhile, if you want to make your holidays brighter with 10 million
dollars, The Power of 10 has auditions in Las Vegas on November 29 and Denver on
December 1.
Chico: And here's a big one, G.
America's Got Talent... season 3. Go to NBC.com/americasgottalent now to get
your shot at a million.
Gordon: And as you can imagine, we have Reality Wanted with a whole new sheet of
casting calls.
Just a reminder to go there if you want to be on A Shot at Love 2, The
Bachelor, Beauty and the Geek 5, and Deal or No Deal
Gordon: Finally, apparently, Big Brother 9 will NOT be a celebrity edition
Chico: Nope. It'll be a regular people version. You know... as regular as BB
players get.
Gordon: Pretty much.
Go to cbs.com/bigbrother to audition and be on the show.
Chico: then, you can be like THESE guys. (plays "Pimpin' All Over the World")
Gordon: In this week's Media Ho Report...
 Drew
Carey will be involved in Seattle Soccer, Meatloaf will host the game show 'Rock
and a Hard Place', while Brooke Burke is pregnant with child #4. Andy Baldwin
goes to Bahrain, Karina Smirnoff (Dancing With the Stars) has a nose job, Anne
Robinson may - or may not - have a new 10 million dollar deal, Bob Barker will
be the Grand Marshall of the Hollywood Santa Parade, Bruce Forsythe comes with a
new version of the Generation Game, Jamie Foxx has a new deal with MTV to
produce reality shows, Wayne Newton can't dance on the DWTS finale because of a
heart condition, and Julianne Hough is denying a romance with Kevin Connolly.
Chico: Should be mentioned that Drew's also on the cover of this week's Parade
magazine. It's the annual gadget issue.
Gordon: None of them, however are the Ho of the Week.
Chico: And who is?
Gordon: The ho is Dick Clark, who will once again return to helm New Year's Eve
2008. Congratulations, Dick
Chico: We love you, Dick.
Gordon: And those...are your hoes.
Chico: And that's Brainvision. Shut'er down. Put the hamsters to bed. We'll play
with numbers in a second, but first, take a look at this. Last week, we asked
which Bravo series you liked to see... 86% of you would rather see game analysts
get their own series. We want to thank Gordon and his friends for voting... tee
hee.
Gordon: We're hoping someone from Bravo is watching.
Don: lol
Gordon: Hey now.
Chico: This week, it's a simple straightforward yes-or-no question. Last week,
Michael Symon was crowned the newest Iron Chef on the finale of "The Next Iron
Chef". Amid some controversy... Many big judges, Andrew Knowlton chief among
them, cry favoritism. The question...
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Chico: If it were any simpler, it'd be 1 vs. 100. Results next week.
Gordon: When we come back, we have numbers and words. join us for more.
Chico: This is WLTI... and we thank you for your support.
(Brainvision has been brought to you by Prozac Vs. Joes. You think this year was
tough? Wait until next season, where we pump up all of our pros with HGH! Barry
Bonds and Marion Jones announce).
CLICK
HERE
TO CONTINUE
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