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Episode 16.6: Our Fifth Birthday
October 15
Chico: On October 13, 2002, two little guys took
the big guys to school, adding irreverence, humor, intelligence, and a shot of
cool to the arm of the American game show. Five years and 169 episodes later...
It's nice to know that some things never change.
Gordon: This is Gordon Pepper, and has it really been 5 years?
Chico: This is Chico Alexander... and wow... it has been five years. I don't feel any older. All my joints are in working order *does a couple
of push-ups.*
Gordon: You still have no hair
Chico: And you're still as fuzzy as all holy hell.
Gordon: Warm and fuzzy...uh....no.
Chico: Who said warm?
Gordon: Errr...from somewhere in America, the 5th year anniversary of WLTI...is...ON!
Chico: Woo! Today is a day to celebrate, but we also have a job to do, and
that's to give you the rundown of the week in game shows, starting with an
unprecedented THREE-debut week.
Gordon: Show me those debuts!
Chico: The first two came last Sunday at 9p. Now I have a runway and a kitchen.
Which would you rather take first?
Gordon: Lets take the Kitchen, as we see a bunch of chefs competing to be on a
show that ironically, the majority of them lost on - Iron Chef
Chico: How ironic it is. Most of these Top Chefs have competed on the hallowed
battleground of Kitchen Stadium, and now they have a chance to join the pantheon
of culinary demigods. I don't quite think that's what Rosanjin had in mind, but
hey... whatever it takes, right?
Gordon: But it will not be easy. The first set of challenges are something that
you would find as one of the harder challenges on Top Chef.
Chico: Hey, this is a competition for the title of Iron Chef. You thought it
would be EASY?
Gordon: Easy? No. Fun to watch? Yes. This is right on the vein of Top Chef,
which is one of the better shows on television.
Chico: Agreed. And if you liked both Iron Chef AND The Next Food Network Star,
this is a near-perfect amalgamation of both. And for me, who STILL doesn't get
Bravo, you may now awwwww.
Gordon: Awwwwwww Chico needs a huuuuuug
Chico: That's hugging and hitting, mind you.
Gordon: The only nit picking that I have is that as this is for a role on Top
Chef that the winner will get a favorable edit on the show, vs. some of the
other occupational shows, where it doesn't matter if you look good or are an
a-hole.
Chico: But all that aside, it's still pretty cool to see these guys in action
(in the case of six of them, AGAIN), and for me, it's the closest thing I'll
have to Top Chef.
Gordon: That's true. Very similar to Top Chef in that regard.
Chico: The six are: John Besh from Battle Andouille, Chris Cosentino from Battle
Garlic, Traci Des Jardins from Battle Shrimp, Morou Ouattara from Battle Frozen
Peas, Aaron Sanchez from Battle Black Bass, and Michael Symon from Battle
Asparagus. Should be noted that Traci Des Jardins will NOT be the Next Iron
Chef. She was eliminated on round 1. (breathes)
Gordon: How did the 6 chefs do when they were on Iron Chef?
Chico: The records: 2-3-1 Winners: Besh and Des Jardins, both beating Iron
Batali. Okay, grade. Love it. A.
Gordon: So the only person left that has won on Iron Chef is Besh. That's going
to be interesting to keep an eye on - and yo should keep an eye on this show. If
you have't seen a cooking competition show, this is one you should definitely
check out. Grade: A
Chico: Woo! Meanwhile over on VH1, we have another model show. But THIS one
doesn't just want you to look good. This is America's Most Smartest Model.
Gordon: Can you look pretty AND be smart at the same time? After watching the
first episode, the answer is...no.
Chico: Tell me, Gordon... things that are dirty. No, you can't say "my mind".
Gordon: Can I say my mind?
Chico: No you can't.
Gordon: Chico's week old unwashed socks?
Chico: That's one.
Gordon: The air pollution in North Carolina
Chico: Ozone, yeah. Go on.
Gordon: Marion Jones's Track Accomplishments
Chico: You know what one of the himbos had for that list? I kid you not...
"Dirty penis."
Gordon: Probably something you do not want to say on any sort of reality show
for any reason
Chico: You THINK!? Needless to say, that guy went home.
Gordon: So while the himbo went to clean himself off, we get our thoughts. I was
sort of disappointed on this show. I expected to have more fun that I actually
did.
Chico: Well, this show I think has "guilty pleasure" written all over it. It's
got something for everybody. We have hot guys... We have hot girls... We have
brain teasers...We're basically talking "working for your money". Granted, this
isn't ANTM quality (PRE-strike, mind you), but what is? And again, what do you
expect from a Mindless-51 production?
Gordon: True. I thought it could be tighter, as the editing at the elimination
segments was simply brutal.
Chico: These guys.. They.. They're CRAZY! But still, if you can get past the
editing issues, you're in for a good time. If only for the involvement of one
Ben Stein. B.
Gordon: I think it has potential to be a fun guilty pleasure, but it hasn't been
that for me yet. I'm grading this more on what I hope will happen more than what
I think so far. B.
Chico: Luckily my TiVo can record two shows at once. Otherwise, I'd be doomed.
Round 1 to Iron Chef, though. Then fast-forward to Tuesday, when MTV rolls out
its much ballyhooed.. and controversial... "A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila".
Gordon: Ballyhooed is right. The show commanded nice sized ratings for MTV as it
premiered.
Chico: It's #2 with a bullet. Too bad the bullet missed. =p The premise here is
simple. Tila Tequila, she of the MySpace, is looking for a man... or woman.
That's the twist.
Gordon: Does she want a straight man? Or does she want a lesbian? Maybe she
wants on orgy.
Chico: Maybe she wants a repeat offender. One of the guys, Marcus Foy, is
actually a vet of Survival of the Richest. Is LA really that short on reality
contestants? Heh.
Gordon: Maybe short on contestants who want to be on these sort of shows....nah.
We have a plethora of that.
Chico: So 16 men and 16 women have a shot at getting with she of the Myspace.
Gordon: But the question is are you one of the plethora of people who want to
watch this?
Chico: Let's do some TV math here. Take away the whole bisexual thing, and tell
me what you have. YARDS.
Gordon: YARDS?
Chico: Yet Another Reality Dating Series..
Gordon: Is it a first down or a fumble?
Chico: Fumble. The only thing that's holding this show together really is a) the
whole man-woman thing, and b) Tila's holy-crap-I'm-popularity on the Myspace. (BTW, check us out at Myspace.com/wltiongsnn)
Gordon: We're not looking to start our own dating show though. Sorry.
Chico: I'd be remiss if I didn't do that. This is an age-old premise hiding
behind the anti-secret of the year. The ratings save this from getting an F from
me, though. Still, a D from the Chairman is NOT A GOOD THING.
Gordon: No. And neither is a D from me. I will say this - whoever Tila picks
truly deserve each other.
Chico: I will say this.. The most humiliating "walk of shame" ever made the end
of this show worth the price of admission =p Leaving the show in nothing more than crime scene tape. In a word...
yikes.
Gordon: That could be a word to describe the action this week on Deal or No Deal
Chico: A semi-quick rundown on where we stand on the MDM. Wendesday, we played
with SEVEN! MDCs.
Gordon: With a woman named Carmen.
Chico: Carmen Gant... has a nice camera...
Gordon: She goes for the million....and misses, leaving with $100.
Chico: Waah Waaaaaaah
Gordon: On Friday, we HAVE the million dollar case selected.
Chico: Really now.
Chico: Did she take that?
Gordon: No she didn't. She bailed out with $115,000. Wynetta Williams had no
safety net, with only $400 being the second highest amount on the board.
Chico: I'd bail out, too.
Gordon: 5 cases left in play
Chico: What were the cases?
Gordon: 400, 75, 50, penny.
Chico: So the odds say to go for it. You're risking your whole stash to multiply
it by 10. But she bailed out.
Gordon: The odds say go for it, but a mistake divides you by over 1,000.
Chico: That's true, hence why I said, I don't blame here. It really depends on
whether or not you need the money. If you honestly, really, and truly need the
money... then you get the hell up outta there. That's what Wynetta did.
Gordon: Though that has to be the most depressed look I have ever seen from
someone who won $115,000.
Chico: You'd be crying if you were sitting on a million, wouldn't you?
Gordon: Well, I dont look at it as what I lost in this case, it's what I gained.
I'm walking out with $115,000 more than what I walked in with. Now having a
potential 13 day failure to solve a bonus puzzle on Wheel of Fortune - now
THAT'S worth crying about, especially because during that stretch, 2 of those
people LOST $100,000.
Chico: That was harsh.
Gordon: And with that, an e-mail from Bobby McBride
TO: WLTI
FROM: Bobby McBride
I really feel bad for you, Jason Block. Having a ten-show bonus round losing
streak with two $100,000 losses to boot is absolutely no fun at all. Here's hoping they don't tie or break the all-time record for futility
of 13 losses in a row...
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Chico: Well, Bobby... Here we are.
Gordon: We're up to 10 days. If we're talking about this next week, then it will
be 15 days and the record.
Chico: Let's hope we're not talking about it next week. The one that got me was
the one I was pinch-hitting for Jason... The guy's guess: SHADES. The puzzle: S
- - - - -. "Shadow"
Gordon: Its a tough puzzle, for sure
Chico: That was just heart-retching. And speak of heart retching and stuff to
talk about next week...
Gordon: Why is Mark Cuban still on my TV set?
Chico: Because Wayne Newton had zero improvement. Hand it to Mark. At least he's
trying. Wayne Newton was just horrific. And was that a hairpiece he was wearing?
What's up with that?
Gordon: That was a hairpiece? It looked like a deflated ferret.
Chico: No, that was his moustache.
Gordon: Oh. Seriously, Wayne is the first 'oldie' who did not finish in the top
half of the group, which surprised me.
Chico: Just goes to show you that all the fans in the world can't save you if
you're just bad. Seriously, he went from Wayne Newton to Elvis to ... Zorro the
Gay Blade or something. I'm like... WHAT?!
Gordon: Maybe R Kelly needs to be on the show...maybe not.
Chico: Umm.. No. I have a feeling that if he was on Dancing with the Stars,
every dance would have to incorporate a dry hump.
Gordon: And then we'd need to find some 16 year old dancers
Chico: Nah. the last thing ABC needs is an indecency charge.
Gordon: But lets talk about kids - Jeopardy had their teen week this week.
Chico: Yes they did. And to tell you the truth... it was a bit underwhelming. I
know they know a lot, but you didn't really see any memorable players.
Gordon: Nothing memorable,. but some nice $20,000+ wins.
Chico: One young lady takes home $19,999. Another took home $25,001, I think.
Gordon: If you think about it. The kids had to do more on Jeopardy than Wynetta
had to do on Deal or No Deal.
Chico: This is true.
Gordon: I think the kids need better press agents.
Chico: Call us. :-)
Gordon: Survivor's Dave needs a press agent. And now, he has plenty of time to
find one.
Chico: This is a classic case of do everything right (except for one thing), and
everyone hangs you on that one thing
Gordon: I'm going to disagree here, but present your case, Defender Chairman.
Chico: Well, it seems to me that Dave was carrying the tribe on his back, but
the one time that the ladies want to scarf on moldy rice, Sherea does her best
R. Kelly impersonation. "B(^_^) I wish you wooooould."
Gordon: Yes, but there's no closet on the island that Dave could be trapped on.
Chico: But I will say this... Just because you're carrying the camp on your back
doesn't give you license to be a jerk. He does make amends for said act of
attrition, but the damage by that time was already done.
Gordon: i think the problem here isn't this episode, but the first 3 episodes,
when Dave pretty much thought that being the leader means you can order everyone
else around and they will obey you without question. Even if you are the leader,
in this game, the priority is making friends, not making decisions and orders.
Chico: The lesson here: you can work on the camp all you want, but if you're too
abrasive, guess what the tribe only sees. It's the Hunter Ellis Rule. And one of
Survivor's main truths.
Gordon: Pretty much. Unfortunately for Zhan Hu, Fei Long has been destroying
them in challenges, and if it keeps going like this until the merge, then Zhan
Hu is going to be scattered like the winds.
Chico: Unless there's a change coming that'll turn the game on its ear. Unless,
of course... it doesn't. Knowing Survivor, though... It probably will
Gordon: There will be changes - the question is will there be enough of Zhan Hu
left to do anything about it
Chico: Probably not. Oh well.
Gordon: It's time to start the...oh no. Chico, we have a problem.
Chico: Problem?
Gordon: Yeah...Chairman the hamster got voted out of the Brainvision Choppler
Chico: What?!
Gordon: Apparently, Gordon Jr. staged a Hamster Nation revolt because the
Chairman didn't give him a gold star.
Chico: Dude, we need the whole team in there. Put'm back! Put'm back!
Gordon: (Puts Chairman back in the Choppler)
Chico: Wait.. did you feed the hamsters?
Gordon: Well Jaso....aw, shoot. He's not here this week. Hold on (gets hamster
feed)
Chico: That explains it. And could you shout the line while you're over there?
Gordon: (from the choppler) Roll that Beautiful Brain Footage!
 (Doug:
From the four corners of the globe to your
frontal lobe, this is a special edition of WLTI Brainvision News, celebrating
five years of We Love to Interrupt, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico
Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)
Chico: We'll get to the TPIR story in a sec, but first, here's the 5th
Anniversary Louisville Slugger for the Business End. And it's a big one.
Gordon: You got a big bat?
Chico: BIG BAT!
 CBS has ordered six episodes of "Million Dollar Password" for midseason. And
Regis Philbin gets to save a THIRD network.
Chico: He's hosting the show.
Gordon: You have 2 conflicting forces here. you have the Yin and the Yang.
Chico: The yin?
Gordon: On one side, you have Regis, who has had the golden touch for the past
decade plus.
Chico: Right.
Gordon: on the other side, you have Fremantle, which has turned every golden
idea to Mr. Hanky for the past decade.
Chico: Or at the very least, a noticeable track stain.
Gordon: Now the question becomes - which force will conquer Password?
Chico: I think Regis conquers all. This isn't the Reege's first encounter on the
corner of Pierce and Dismantle. Season 1 of "America's Got Talent"?
Gordon: I agree that Regis has potential. Maybe the secret is that he tells the
producers what to do.
Chico: (as Regis) "Don't you tell me what I can and can't do. I'm not that (^_^)
Rossi Morreale, I'm Regis Motherf(^_^)ing Philbin!" "I'm Outta CONTROL!" Okay,
NOW it's accurate. Next story?
Gordon: Next one, and I know we have talked about this forever, but...you do
want that date with Drew Carey, right?
Chico: You go on the date with Drew Carey. I'll just watch. But reminding the 12
or so people that don't know..
 The Price is Right. Drew Carey. October 15th. You WILL Watch.
Chico: It's gonna be hot.
Gordon: Right. But just so that you know there are things out there besides TPIR...
Chico: There ARE?
Gordon: Yes. Yes there are. Amazing, ain't it?
Chico: Wow.
Fall of 2008. Deal or No Deal in Syndication. You will PROBABLY watch.
Chico: Probaby! It COULD be hot.
Gordon: It could be. $250,000 Dollar Mission doesn't sound as good though
Chico: ... no.
Gordon: Im guessing though that both Carmen and Wynetta, after this week on Deal
or No Deal, will be going to get fully loaded.
*hic*
Chico: Was that you?
Gordon: I think that was Chen-bot the Hamster
Chico: ... stealing from Block's supply. BAD CHEN-BOT!
Chico: Deal and Survivor are both #1!
Gordon: Whoohoo!
 No, seriously. Deal or No Deal's site at NBC.com is the #1 TV show site, while
Survivor is #1 in DVR playbacks. Dancing was #2 in the websites. Heroes was #3,
Why Is This Show Popular (aka Grey's Anatomy) is #4, and round out the top 5 is
AI.
Gordon: You would think that the game shows would be Tops in playbacks
Chico: Yeah. You'd think so. Except that most people are home when they air.
Another interesting thing... Deal and 5th Grader, presumably tops in their
game... didn't even crack the top 20 this week.
Gordon: Well, something like Pushing Daisies or Heroes, youd want to watch the
whole thing to catch everything. For a game show, however, you can skim through
it and only stop at the major parts.
Chico: Also true.
Gordon: And I wonder if you added the Playbacks in the ratings what the order
would really be
Chico: Sounds like I have a research assignment.
Gordon: You do. And I have a TON of Haterade this week. You ready for a party?
Chico: I'm ready for a Haterade party.
Gordon: And this week's Are You Smarter....is a no-brainer.
Chico: Yes. I am smarter than the producers of "Nothing But the Truth." :-)
Gordon: Well, almost...
 Are You Smarter Than...Rosa Maria Solano, who admitted that she hired a hit man
to kill her husband. Total amount won? $25,000 - and maybe some time in the
slammer.
Gordon: The show she did this on, was of course, Nothing But The Truth
Chico: That's what was won. What was lost... one game show, as "Nothing But the
Truth" was cancelled moments after.
Gordon: You'd have to wonder what is going to happen in the US version - or if
that even makes the air
Chico: This is not expected to affect the US version, "Moment of Truth", but
still... we hope Fox is a little smarter than that?
Gordon: Not a chance
Chico: But that's not all in the Haterade, is it?
Gordon: not even close. Get out the shot glasses.
Chico: Shot glasses... out.
 Endemol Call-Ins get yanked in The Netherlands, NYC drops an episode of
Crosswords, Mark's Age of Love selection of Amanda Salinas and him are over,
Andy and Tessa's break-up is official, Corey Clark pleads guily and faces jail
time, while the New York Department of Labor goes after the American Idol tour
for breaking the Child Labor Laws.
Chico: Told ya. Sanjaya is trouble.
Gordon: And Jordin
Chico: But Jordin has an album coming out, so it's all good. Right?
Gordon: We'll see how the album does. And the shot glass is empty.
Chico: Yep. And I think I can travel the world now.
Gordon: Weeeee
Chico: This week, we're heading to a whole continent!... but mostly, it's
Singapore.
 Mark Burnett and Genting are getting together to make some sweet reality for all
of the Asian market. Their first show: "The Contender Asia". Instead of boxing,
we have "Muay Thai".
Chico: You know what Muay Thai is, right?
Gordon: Sure do. Its a pretty cool fighting art.
Chico: Cool indeed. It's Thai kickboxing.
Gordon: You wonder if we may see that come over next season to ESPN if it does
well.
Chico: Let's hope. Then again, they already have that. It's called "The Ultimate
Fighter".
Gordon: Spike TV has it. ESPN doesn't have anything like it...yet.
Chico: Stay tuned. Next up, something only we have, big comfy casting couches.
Gordon: NIce and fluffy
Chico: Do we have any casting calls?
Gordon: We ALWAYS have casting calls
Chico: Nice! Deliver, please
Gordon: Do you want to be in a variety show?
Chico: Ooh, what kind?
 "Casting Call" is a Variety Talent Competition TV Show similar to other audition
shows like "American Idol" and "Grease, You're The One That I Want" as they are
auditioning talents nationwide to be cast in the film "Spring Break '83," an
homage to all those hilarious '80's movies. Think "Super Bad" '83 style!
Chico: That was a good movie, the "Superbad"
Celebrity judges include Morgan Fairchild (Flamingo Road), Joe Piscopo (Saturday
Night Live), and Adrian Zmed (Grease 2). Comedian Dan Levy is set to host the
show. If you're interested, go here -
http://www.realitywanted.com/index.php/latest/1728?PHPSESSID=b493ad201b2b1b606c643773be4b286c
Gordon: Have you auditioned for Dance Nation yet?
Chico: Nope. You?
Gordon: No -
But if you want to, go here -
http://www.realitywanted.com/index.php/latest/1741?PHPSESSID=b493ad201b2b1b606c643773be4b286c
Gordon: Any auditions from your end?
Chico: Nope, but I may have your Ho of the Week if you want to deliver the rest
of them.
Chico: *plays "Pimpin' All Over the World"*
Gordon: In this week's Media Ho Report...
 Meredith
Vieira goes iDVD for
Millionaire, Colin Mochrie does the 5th Grader tour, Jonny Fairplay sues Danny
Bonaduce, Dena Kaplan leaves GSN for the NFL Network, Larry Craig pre-empts
Singing Bee and Trims The Biggest Loser and Bret Michaels comes back on Rock of
Love 2.
Gordon: But none of them are the Hoes of the Week. What is your nomination for
Ho of the Week?
Chico: My nom are the Deal or No Deal ladies... I submit for your approval, one
of the best TV moments of the last three years... The episode of "the Office"
where Michael burns his foot.
http://www.nbc.com/Deal_or_No_Deal/video/#mea=164150
Gordon: I'll give them one half. The other half goes to Drew Carey, who not only
gets TPIR this week, but who also gets the woman of his dreams, as he proposes
to Nicole Jaracz
Chico: Oh yeah. He's going big.
Gordon: And Those...are your Hoes.
Chico: And that's Brainvision. Shut it down.
Gordon: (Boooooop)
Chico: More of our birthday party in a bit. But first, last time, we asked who
you'd like to see a reality show of...
Gordon: Oh no...
Chico: 52% of you... want to watch...Gordon.
Gordon: Greeeeeeeaaaaaat. I'd like to thank my family for this honor....I think
Chico: This week, in celebration of our 5th anniversary...
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Gordon: Before you all ask, we're not doing 2001 or earlier because the show
wasn't around in 2001 or earlier.
Chico: Results in seven days. Next up, it's your time to shine as we play
Roleplay with YOU the viewer! This is We Love to Interrupt... and since this is
the last time I get to say it... Celebrating five years of... Spreading the
love.
Gordon: Until next year, when you say celebrating six years of spreading the
love
Chico: Lofty expectation.
(Brought to you by the Order of Representable Gamers,
Appreciating Smart Models. We all know that there are smart models out there,
and we want to represent you in your search to be a contestant on a reality
show. Come join the ORGASM. No dirty penises will be accepted into the ORGASM)
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