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Episode 16.4
October 1

Chico: That's the 5th birthday party... and you're invited. Week of October 15!
Gordon: Right now, it's time for the show, as we start with the Million Dollar Mission.
Chico: Million Dollar Mission... yeah, all we got out of it was a cute kid. And by cute, we mean TV friendly.
Gordon: Did you find him entertaining?
Chico: More so than many of the contestants, believe it or not. You?
Gordon: Is it wrong if I had the urge to send him over to Kid Nation and kill a chicken?
Chico: He'd be the first. :-)
Gordon: I know this is a game of no skill whatsoever and we have to pick cases, but would it HURT if we actually saw a player up there based on logic and not screaming and waving like an trained seal?
Chico: The only thing that it would hurt would be the ratings... maybe. Heck, we're beyond hurting the ratings.
Gordon: But wait - adding the cases would increase ratings!
Chico: On what planet? :-) Let's have a progress report...Wednesday's show features Tim Krajewski.
Gordon: Hi Tim!
Chico: His game features TWO $1 million cases...
Gordon: Did he win the million?
Chico: Would you believe... no.
Gordon: Wow! Im shocked!
Chico: I know. It's a freaking surprise.
Gordon: ok. What happened next?
Chico: Tim won $180,000. In his case, $5000. A great deal. Not the million we're desperate to give away.
Gordon: Nope
Chico: But still good. Can't jive him for being good.
Gordon: Nope. What happened on Friday?
Chico: We move on with Charlene Miranda (and child) and THREE million dollar cases.
Gordon: Ooooooh.
Chico: Wait... I'm TRIPLING the cases!
Gordon: WOW! Did she win the million?
Chico: She... also didn't win the million.
Gordon: Awww
Chico: She dealt for $165,000. Again, a lot of money.
Gordon: True. But...what was in her case?
Chico: In Charlene's case.. $50,000. Again, a good deal.
Gordon: But no million
Chico: Next... an entire family plays...with FOUR million dollar cases!
Gordon: Oooooh
Chico: The Drew family (ready for action)!
Gordon: Maybe they will have someone win the million if they put in 25 Million dollar cases and one case that says 'Sell your Kids'
Chico: What's up with you and selling other people's kids? =p
Gordon: Hey - they are not my kids. Why not sell them? Profit!
Chico: Now here's your nightmare scenario, Gordon...You were begging and pleading not to have it come to this.
Gordon: They are bringing back Card Sharks 2001?
Chico: NO! =p As the show wound down on Friday, the bank offered $217,000....With three of the four MDCs in play. And with EIGHT cases left on the board.
Chico: That's a 38% chance of having a million dollars.
Gordon: Don't tell me they dealt
Chico: They didn't. They continue on Wednesday.
Gordon: Ah good.
Chico: But again, this is the nightmare scenario you were talking about.
Gordon: If the family makes it a 50-50 board, with 3 MDC's, then this game will be very anti-climactic
Chico: I know.
Gordon: And isn't part of the fun of DOND the risk?
Chico: Part of the reason why we watch is to catch that element... that moment when we realize that we may just have a million in the bag. What happens to the show when you have someone who could open the million dollar case... the million dollar case... or the million dollar case. All of a sudden, it's like, "Who bloody cares."
Gordon: Yes, but since we know how the show is going to end, we know they dont win the million, thanks to the NBC promos.
Chico: Thanks NBC. You've learned nothing from Twenty-One, I see. So Wednesday night... the Million Dollar Mission continues... much as we don't want it to.
Gordon: True. Someone else who I will be seeing on my screen next week although I don't want him to - Mark Cuban.
Chico: Ah, the Moriarity to your Sherlock Holmes. The Master to your Doctor. The King Bowser Koopa to your Mario Mario. The Benefactor to your Apprentice. In short, your nemesis.
Gordon: I wouldn't say Master. He's not that high up on the adversary list. More like a Macra or Slitheen or someone that shows up once in a while.
Chico: Taking his place in the loser's club first... Josie Maran. Gee. What a surprise... Big Board, please.

Chico: The category: You Suck, Get Out. Self explanatory.
Gordon: Ok. Josie now has time to find the rest of her pussycats
Chico: *rimshot*
Gordon: Thank you. I'll be here all week.
Chico: We've been saying that there are several ingredients to a quick exit. Check this out. 1) Name no one has heard of... Check.
Gordon: (DING)
Chico: 2) Low scores posted by the judges? Check.
Gordon: Lowest of everyone...(DING)
Chico: 3) Model? Check.
Gordon: (DING)
Chico: It's the Porizkova curse.
Gordon: Explain the Porizkova curse
Chico: Any model paired with Alec Mazo is immediately on the runway home.
Gordon: Ah
Chico: But the good news: now you get to vote for his wife.
Gordon: Yay!
Chico: She's paired with Cameron Mathison. This year's requisite game show host. "I Wanna Be a Soap Star". So friends.. That is why Josie dances no more.
Gordon: True. The judges think that this is the best week 1 dancing ever. Do you agree?
Chico: As for the entire ensemble, this is probably... if you take away a couple of the weak links (which we did this week) is the strongest group in the series.
Gordon: The women looked especially strong this week. We may have underestimated them.
Chico: In fact, I'm going to go out on a limb and say that this year, a woman's going to take it. Until she does something Mario Lopez-like, Sabrina Bryan is the one to beat. It's gonna be a good season.
Gordon: Yes - so much for us thinking it would be weak this season.
Chico: Hey, we admit when we're right, we admit when we're wrong.
Gordon: Now, who joined Josie at the bottom?
Chico: Mark Cuban.
Gordon: That could be a major problem for Mr. Cuban. Since he was in the middle of the pack, it means that the fans are not voting for him. Should he show up with low scores this week, he's done. And I will be rejoicing.
Chico: Oh yeah. He has to hope for an early recoil. Or at least a dance style that doesn't require movement.
Gordon: A dance style that doesn't require movement. You think the judges will allow him to use the Macarena?
Chico: Or he could just tell the entire state of Texas to vote for him... He's doomed, isn't he.
Gordon: Yep.
Chico: Oh, one more thing. Drew Lachey as guest host... He makes a better Samantha than Samantha did.
Gordon: He does. You think they will let Emmitt Smith on next?
Chico: ... Nah. I can't imagine him having the whole hosting thing down.
Gordon: Do you think they will let Ashly DelGrosso on DWTS next season?
Chico: If she can find someone to sit for her new baby (I think it's something in the water at TV City, everyone's having babies!)... I don't see why not.
Gordon: DWTS - Good for wrestlers. Survivor...not so much.
Chico: Buh-bye, Ashley. Just a reminder, in the early part of Survivor, it's probably a good idea not to speak unless spoken to.
Gordon: The point is to make friends, not make enemies
Chico: Speak whenever you feel like, you start rubbing people the wrong way. Your friends now... will be your allies later.
Gordon: True. Someone also making enemies, but on the opposing tribe, is Jean Robert, which is too bad because I wanted him to do well.
Chico: His only saving grace is that right now, it's all about team, which is why the Fei Long tribe is lasting.
Gordon: Yes, but when his team takes the first loss, he's going to be in trouble
Chico: Yep. He needs to get back into good graces before it's too late. If I am Jean Robert, I'd slow my roll. The tribe is already talking about throwing a challenge, and THAT's never good.
Gordon: You should never throw a challenge, period
Chico: True. ESPECIALLY this early. Right now, Fei Long has the numbers.
Gordon: Why even put yourself in a position where 2 straight losses will even you out
Chico: Precisely.
Gordon: If you win the challenges, you can eliminate Jean-Robert at the merge when you have the numbers
Chico: Then it's buh-bye Action Bob.
Gordon: Agreed. Meanwhile, the immunity Idol...is in plain sight.
Chico: Hmm... could it be that thingie on the gate?
Gordon: It could be. If you're a Survivor player, you'd have to wonder if you've been used to seeing people build everything by themselves why this season something is built for them and not be suspicious.
Chico: I'd be suspicious. But then again, this is China, which is unlike any other Survivor environ. So your guess right now two eps in is as good as mine.
Gordon: We'll see what happens in their future...what shows are in our future at MIPCOM?
Chico: Now I like this time of year, because it gives us a look at what broadcasters in the US MAY look at if they have one or two holes to fill... 9pm Fox Fridays. BTW, if you had "Nashville" as the first show to get yanked, congratulations, consult the brick wall over there for your prize.
Gordon: Its not the Wall of Stuff?
Chico: Yep. Open door 15 and hope for the gorilla with the pie.
Gordon: (Opens door #15). Oh no! Its the Schwab with a pie! (Splat.) WAAAAAAAAAH!
Chico: *tosses towel*
Gordon: (Grabs towel). Thanks.
Chico: But let's take a look at what is on offer. So let's go format shopping, shall we?
Gordon: Lets go shopping
Chico: First up is "50/50", which is a spinoff from Who Wants to Be a Millionaire.
Chico: The show has couples answering questions with only two choices. It's meant to be a companion piece. Hmm... I don't know.
Gordon: Its cute, but I don't see myself getting hooked to this. 100 Winners had that format and it wasn't that exciting. Ah, here's the rub - deciding whether they agree or disagree with each other on the answer.
Gordon: That still doesn't excite me.
Chico: This is all going to depend on execution.
Gordon: I hope they do it properly. Next one?
Chico: Next is something that Ryan V brought up last week... "Paquet Voleur"... now called "Trade Up"
Gordon: Trade up looks ok, as a spin on Deal or No Deal
Chico: The French Canadian premiere got a 37 share. Meaning that 37% of all French Canadian households were watching some part of it. That's big. That's if-I'm-Fox-and-I-want-to-get-into-the-news-for-blatantly-copying-something big. Eight players, one case with a million bucks in it.
Gordon: Paquet Voleur looks ok. I'd check it out
Chico: The third game being brought to market is "Clever", which can best be described as "Liar's Club"... with SCIENCE!
Gordon: ooooh
Chico: I agree. Intelligence, strategy, gobs of money..
Gordon: I like the idea of Clever. Id also give it a look-see
Chico: Should be one to watch. And if you're wondering why we should give a rat's ass about things that happen half a world away? Four words... "Deal or No Deal." 50/50, though.. I'd have to see it before I decide whether or not I'd season-pass it. One show I turned in my season pass for... Temptation.
Gordon: True. So from shopping for shows to shopping shows - and the problems we may have on one of them.
Chico: And apparently it was probably one of the better moves I could've made this week, as writers are still striking.
Gordon: We're now up to 100 people who are striking against Temptation.
Chico: Let's see, we have Fremantle more than willing to meet in arbitration at a later date, October 8, when all 170 of the shows are done.
Gordon: Which of course puts all of the leverage in Fremantle's hands, as they have all of the episodes in the can of a show, which quite honestly, will probably not get renewed for a second season
Chico: Heck, I'd be surprised if they air all 170 of those shows. And we have the writers, out for fair compensation for overtime, saying that the date is just a stall tactic. Remember what happened in 1995 AND 2001? Both The New Price is Right 1994 and Card Sharks 2001 were pulled before they could finish their runs. But seriously, it's your classic case of he said, she said, and somewhere in the middle is the truth. And truth be told, I'm guessing that one side, if not both, is shoveling some serious BS.
Gordon: True. But lets say you're the guild. Why are you going after a little show like Temptation? Why not go after a big show and get MAJOR press in the paper.
Chico: Because game show writers are underrepresented, and you were biding your time until the opportunity presented itself... which it finally did. Then we can get some of that sweet game show writer money ...Err... propose fair compensation for quality work.
Gordon: lol.
Chico: Now let's say you're Fremantle. You're trying to shoo the guild away just to see what you and the writers can flush out in arbitration. That's good. So why are you a'fear'd of the big bad guild?
Gordon: I'm afraid of the guild because I have this little show on in January called American Idol.
Chico: Which will end up financing the 170 shows of Temptation =p
Gordon: It won't really hurt me until February, but if the strike goes past 4 months, then I may have to chat with Ken Mok and the America's Next Top Model people to find out where they found their writers. Now an interesting thing I stumbled across. Now we're claiming neutrality on this issue. But there is a page on Unionfacts.org about WGAw.
Gordon: What sort of page?
Chico: It details the cases made against the union trying to rally the Temptation writers. Basically gives credence to your "We're only in it for the money" argument. You know it takes something like $26 million a year to stage what they're doing outside Tribune?
Gordon: Again, we don't know all of the facts, but it's interesting to see how both sides are spinning this.
Chico: It's just interesting. Especially hearing both sides. Do your research, kids... Form your own opinions. But there is one glaring fact that came to light this week...the Temptation writers don't know what "6th street" is.
Gordon: Ah - I was wondering when that would come up.
Chico: The Wipe-Off category: Poker Terms.
Gordon: '6th Street' was given as a wrong answer. HOWEVER, 6th Street IS a term in 7 card Stud poker. Me being the poker stud that I am, of course, knows this.
Chico: Me also being the poker stud. And many game show fans we know are poker studs and also called foul. Those players deserve a do-over.
Gordon: They do indeed. Or maybe we should just send Temptation to the rail.
Chico: Ooh, can we have the hamsters pull the rail?
Gordon: Well, they're actually all on fulltiltpoker.com right now, playing poker and adding money to my account :) Gordon Jr. is leading the pack, of course.
Chico: I think they're probably going to end up buying a bigger cage... with HDTV... so they can watch Last One Standing on Thursday :-)
Gordon: They're taking 10%. They can definitely afford the new cage if they keep their play up. Roll that Beautiful Brain Footage

(Doug: Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)

Chico: Thanks, Doug. Our first story...We go into the Business End. From a couple of guys who have taken a business end or two in their careers.

Kenny & Spenny are back, and the South Park Guys and Comedy Central have got'em. Comedy Central will air 10 new episodes produced by Trey Parker and Matt Stone... Yay?

Gordon: Boo.
Chico: The good news... It's Trey Parker and Matt Stone. They know funny.
Gordon: Usually.
Chico: The bad news: it's still Kenny vs. Spenny. It's the Bill MacDonald sex argument in reverse.
Gordon: Unless you're going to turn it into Kyle Vs. Cartman, this could be trouble. The only other thing they have going for them is the fact that since it was only on GSN, most of the country hasn't seen them before - and that can only be categorized as a good thing,
Chico: Yeah. And besides, maybe GSN cut the six minutes of the show that was funny.
Gordon: Ok. Maybe GSN chopped off 6 minutes from the show. What about the rest of the show that we have to watch?
Chico: I don't know. Ed vs. Spence was infinitely better, though. I think I'm more in tune with wry British wanker humor.
Gordon: I'd rather watch Spy Vs. Spy. Ninja Vs. Pirate.
Chico: I'd pay $40 to produce that. Sell it to Spike. PROFIT. Next story?
Gordon: I got a date with a bunch of fashion designers.
Chico: At least you'll never run out of stuff to wear.

Make the date November 14th, as Project Runway 4 shows up.

Chico: Wow... Just like Heidi Klum said.

Meanwhile, Phenomenon (where we look for the best mentalist) is on October 24

Chico: I thought it was the 17th
Gordon: It got moved
Chico: Well, I'll be.
Gordon: A mentalist levitated the show date from the 17th to the 24th. Impressive, huh?
Chico: Now change this coffee into beer.
Gordon: Can I change it to the latest in electronics?
Chico: Yes you can. Let's get loaded... Hold on, I'm getting a text... "Hic." Oh you crazy...

If you're reading from the UK, you got a chance to get the new mobile edition of Weakest Link, due out before Christmas

Gordon: Nice.
Chico: Still no Anne, though. Sorry. And don't take my word for it, but the best place to play mobile Weakest Link... Red couches
Gordon: You just like to sit there once you've been voted off.
Chico: Yeah.
Gordon: You want to be a Spanish singer?
Chico: Si. Mi voz es muy bonito en español.

Telefutura will open auditions for the 5th run of its international singing competition show, Objetivo Fama (Objective: Fame), starting September 29 in Chicago. More details and entry info at www.Univision.com (Uniclave: Objetivo Fama). Auditions will be held in 10 cities in the U.S. and in Puerto Rico, where the program is produced.

Chico: If you can't speak Spanish, let along sing in it, we've got another game from our friends at GSN

Nerve Center is the new game show that tests a contestant’s ability to determine how much is enough, and when do you keep pushing for more? 4 contestants are placed against one another in a high stakes game if chicken. There is no trivia or skill involved at all! Here's the addy: http://www.realitywanted.com/index.php/latest/1687

Gordon: Sort of sounds like Solitary, no?
Chico: Sorta... but I'm thinking that they're in the same room.
Gordon: And now for the Media Hoes...

In this week's Hodometer, the Project Runway 4 Cast is revealed, Pat Sajak gets interviewed As the Celebrity Edition of Wheel of Fortune hits NYC, Katharine McPhee wants to be the next John Mayer...Uncle Jeffy parodies himself in a major League Baseball commercial, while Josie Maran, in a not-so-bright move, tells Jimmy Kimmel that she should have cut off her legs to get sympathy votes for DWTS.

Chico: On that same token, the cast for "America's Most Smartest Model" is revealed. :-)
Gordon: That they are, but none of them are the ho of the week.
Chico: Wow. For the first time, I have no idea who it is.
Gordon: The ho of the week is...Samantha Harris...and a baby ho!
Chico: Congrats to Baby Harris. Not only for entering the world, but for jump-starting Drew Lachey's game show hosting career. =p
Gordon: Joselyn Sydney Hess is now born...into this world. Congratulations,. Samantha!
Chico: She has her mother's evil streak :-)
Gordon: And those...are your hoes. Ok Tabitha, let's go globe-jumping
Chico: Okay, let's go someplace exotic...

The Mint, the popular call-in-and-win game that made it over here as "100 Winners" invades Uganda.

Gordon: It wasn't a terrible show. i liked it better than Quiznation. They just needed to get better prizes.
Chico: Hey, $1000 was good money for one text. Of course, it took way more than one text...
Gordon: True. They could have added a lot of bells and whistles - like mystery money or pick again, and other things.

And sometimes, they already had the winner, which is what happened in the UK as GMTV's call-in is sacked for a loss of $125,000.

Gordon: Ouuuuuch. Not as bad as earlier fines, but it still hurts

And finally, Cartoon Network UK orders a third season of their quiz show toon hybrid Skatoony.

Chico: Oh yeah.
Gordon: Skatoony is cool. Now when do we see THAT import in the US?
Chico: I don't know. Instead we get "Out of Jimmy's Head"... it's like Nick circa 1996... but with cartoons. Me, I'm waiting for Kamen Rider Dragon Knight. That's gonna be sweet =p
Gordon: I'm waiting for Karras: Revelations
Chico: But yeah, Skatoony's a great show whose time has come, we think.
Gordon: You waiting for some Haterade?
Chico: Yep
Gordon: But first... Are You Smarter than....My dad?
Chico: Your dad's a very smart man, Gordon...I could probably take him in a physical challenge stunt, though.

No. I'm not insulting my dad. That's the name of Mark Burnett's new show, 'My Dad Is Better Than Your Dad', coming soon to a network near you.

Gordon: Anyways, I've got some Haterade that will make you feel good, Chico.
Chico: Really. Let's hear it.

Remember Charlie O' Connell from the Bachelor? Remember his pick of Sarah Brice? We'll they are officially Splitsville.

Chico: *plays "Another One Bites the Dust"* Welcome to Splitsville. Population... y'alls.
Gordon: Which brings the Bachelor record to 1-18,563.
Chico: I wonder what Charlie's excuse will eventually be. Sarah's was just irreconcilable differences...
Gordon: YEAH.
Chico: Gordon, tell us what it means when someone says irreconcilable differences.
Gordon: Two things...1. This person sucks to live with or 2. I found some new booty.
Chico: Heh. Okay, that's Brainvision... Shut it down.
Gordon: Booooop
Chico: More WLTI in a bit, but first, last week, we asked you who was having the Best Week Ever.. It was a close race, but the winner with 38%... Kathy Griffin and her (maybe) fiance. In a close second with 31% was Donald playing banker. Then Carrie Underwood and Jane Seymour in that order.
Chico: This week, it's simple.
Gordon: This poll is...simple.

Gordon: Results in 7 days
Chico: Trios in one click. This is We Love to Interrupt, celebrating five years of telling it like it is...

(Brainvision is powered by Crazy Gordon's Crazy Kid Emporium! Due to an error in shipping, he's overstocked with crazy kids, and he's passing the savings on to you!)

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