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Episode 16.8
October 29
 Jason: Guest singer: Mr. Yodelman.
Chico: Welcome back... ALL RISE!
Jason: (Gets out of computer chair)
Chico: We the Jury is now in session, the less-than-honorable Gordon Pepper
presiding.
Gordon: Order in my court!
Jason: I'll take a turkey club
Chico: Chicken Carbonara on foccacia. There. Happy?
Gordon: Quite. :) I've got charges. You tell me if they are guilty. We sentence
them and we have some fun. First UP...
Accused: The WGA
Charge: Excessive Use of Force on a low-rated vehicle. Did they have the right
to go after Temptation, or is this just an unneeded power play.
Chico: When you ain't got nothing, you'll try anything. GUILTY.
Jason: This was an unneeded power play. They should be firing the big guns at a
place where it might have impact, not on a show that won't last one season.
GUILTY.
Gordon: I agree. I wonder why they would even do that when they have more
important thigs to worry about. Like that 800 pound striking gorilla. GUILTY!
Sentence?
Chico: 10 years in Shopper's Paradise.
Jason: With Ginger Simpson as your personal shopper.
Chico: Warden Morreale will be round to pimp out your cell momentarily.
Gordon: JUSTICE! Next Case...
Accused: Ant and Dec
Charge: Reckless Production. Did they know about the phone-in con of the show
they were Executive Producers on?
Jason: This is a very tough one.
Gordon: This is about their shows 'Saturday Night Takeaway and Gameshow
Marathon' - Both of which were found to have fleeced viewers
Chico: Two counts. Guilty and guilty.
Jason: A lot of times executive producer credit are vanity titles... But in this
case...two times means smoke. GUILTY.
Chico: Smoke means fire.
Gordon: I think that as Exec producers, you need to do something about it.
Chico: You can't not know that there's SOMETHING going and NOT suspect that you
may have had a hand in it.
Chico: That's right.
Gordon: The fact of the matter is, after hearing about all of this stuff going
on, they should have been much more active about looking at their own stuff.
Jason: Either you are so isolated that you know NOTHING....or you have the hand
in the cookie jar.
Chico: ... Yeah, what Block said.
Gordon: So GUILTY then! Sentence?
Jason: Pay back the viewers...FROM YOUR OWN POCKETS. They can afford it.
Gordon: True. It's a shame too, because they are not bad. They don't need this
on their records.
Jason: Nope.
Chico: Nope. They're going to rebound from this.
Jason: But this is a blemish
Chico: This isn't going to do critical damage to their careers.
Gordon: No, but you still don't want this. Next case...
Accused: Ken Mok
Charge: Mismanagement. Ebony quits the show. The first few models accuse Mr. Jay
of using bad photos instead of their best ones. Is there a conspiracy here?
Jason: Oh please--You have got to be kidding...wah wah wah . NOT GUILTY
Chico: Nope. Not Guilty. You want to blame someone, blame Ebony. She clearly
wasn't ready for the big time
Gordon: I agree with that. I think the models need to be more concerned about
themselves. Ken is free to go. But let's stay with models for the next one...
Accused: Andre Birleanu (America's Most
Smartest Model)
Charges: Molesting a 19 year old girl. Was there anything on his stint on the
show that would you to believe that he would do something like that?
Chico: Umm... How about yeah. A) he thinks he's the (^_^). B) ... see A. GUILTY!
Gordon: His rap sheet includes criminal contempt, criminal mischief,
trespassing harassment and assault.
Chico: And that's just page 1.
Jason: Ok...not so smart. GUILTY
Gordon: Andre said that he's slept with her and it was consensual. Anyone buy
it?
Jason: Nope.
Chico: Slept with.. yes. Consensual. No. He doesn't strike me as the
"consensual" type. He strikes me as... Ivan Drago. "I must break you."
Gordon: I agree. Unfortunately, he has a resume you don't want. Guilty!
Sentence?
Chico: Can we deport him to somewhere else?
Jason: A real long legit jail sentence with a 300 pound inmate who likes the
pretty boys....get my drift?
Chico: I like Jason's. Let's go with his.
Jason: DON'T FORCE GIRLS. Period.
Gordon: So basically, you're looking for Andre to be in a situation where he
gives his consensus - whether he wants to or not.
Jason: See how he likes it. Idiot.
Gordon: Next one...
Accused: MTV Networks
Charge: Excessive cruelty to animals by torturing the Golden Goose.
Chico: The poor victim?
Gordon: MTV will be remaking Name That Tune for 3 different networks - MTV, VH1
and CMT. Is it a much needed hit or a huge overtaking too soon?
Chico: Well, considering that the audiences are vastly different, I can see the
same version of three different shows on three different sister stations, but if
there is too much blurring... Like, say, recycled sets...recycled music
cues...That sort of thing. I withhold my judgment.
Gordon: No fence-sitting
Chico: Fine then. Not guilty. NOW.
Jason: I agree. Not Guilty. With the Singing Bee as a hit...this is the right
time for it...and the market is there.
Gordon: I think the market is there. if they can make it no or low budget, it's
a risk worth taking. Not guilty.
Chico: There you go. Golden Pate for everyone! Next?
Gordon: Last one...
Accused: Jason Wahler
Charge: Media-Hoing without a license.
Gordon: What's he doing on Celebrity Rap Superstar?
Chico: Making a fool of himself. GUILTY.
Jason: Oh, that guy. GUILTY.
Jason: Sorry, thats a bad case of corporate synergy
Gordon: You could rationalize the other ones - even Perez Hilton. But Jason
didn't even show up to compete. GUILTY! Sentence? (Besides the one he's
currently serving for assault, criminal tresspass and underage drinking)
Chico: One night in Perez.
Jason: Chico wins.
Chico: Excessories is next, hang on.
(Brought to you by Viva WLTI.... All the fun of WLTI... with singing... by
people who can actually sing)
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