Episode 21.7
July 20

Gordon: It's Elementary, my Dear Chico.
Chico: Ba DUM bum
Gordon: But first, All rise! The less-than-honorable Gordon Pepper is presiding WLTI's Game Show Court. ORDER IN MY COURT!
Jason: Egg white sandwich!
Chico: Brooklyn Style Philly Cheese steak. Extra Large. I'm hungry.

Accused: CBS
Charge: Obstruction.

Jason: Evidence?
Gordon: Most people had no idea what Chima was railing about, because CBS never showed the footage of Braden going off. Is this protection of Braden, or protection of CBS?
Chico: CBS. It always goes back to Network.
Jason: Protection of the Eye. GUILTY.
Chico: GUILTY.
Gordon: I can understand why CBS did it - they wanted to protect Braden from himself. Unfortunately, his outburst is one of the primary reasons why he was sent packing, and if you need to build the story, you have to focus on it. GUILTY! Sentence?
Jason: Watch footage of Walter Cronkite on loop so that they know what real CBS people should look like.
Chico: There you go.
Gordon: We miss you, Walter.
Chico: We do.
Gordon: Next one?
Chico: Next...

ACCUSED: Wes Hayden

Jason: GUILTY!
Chico: Jump the gun, much?
Jason: Sorry.

Charge: Media Ho-ing without a license

Jason: Evidence?
Chico: Girlfriend. Music career... Need I say more?
Jason: Not really. GUILTY.
Chico: This is one of them open and shut cases.
Gordon: Of course he's guilty, but let me add a secondary citation to Jillian Harris for incompetence to be a reality star.
Chico: I'll allow it.
Gordon: First she lets Wes stick around for that long, then she lets Ed come back into the competition and keep him in the final 2. I sense singledom for Jillian.
Chico: So I'm going to sentence the two of them together... two weeks in a minimalist apartment... and a failure for Wes... in every sense.
Jason: And my sentence: A one on one music career consultation with Bob Guiney as well.
Gordon: Throw in Daisy De La Hoya and Fox so we can have the foursome from Hell, please.
Chico: Damn. We're just cruel all over, aren't we?
Jason: We do how we do.
Gordon: Next one..

Accused: Simon Cowell
Charge: Excessive Payola.

Gordon: Is 144 million too much for Cowell for FOX to be paying him in a recession?
Chico: Not guilty. He's not worth THAT much, and I honestly don't think anyone would pay him THAT much.
Jason: Honestly no. If you see that Cowell has brought Fox 1 Billion with a B for the franchise, and is the face of the show (sorry Ryan) $144M is chump change.
Gordon: You have the #1 show in the US for 7 straight years. You have the current #1 show on in the Summer. Frankly, I think he IS worth that much. Not Guilty.
Jason: And as an aside...45M for Seacrest...same thing.
Chico: Works for me. Next...

ACCUSED: ABC
CHARGE: Cruelty to deceased animals.

Jason: Evidence?
Chico: Here Come the Newlyweds and I Survived a Japanese Game Show are clearly examples of beating dead horses.
Jason: How do you mean?
Chico: Newlyweds... come on... you really would hold onto it after posting the numbers that it did? I mean... look at it.
Gordon: What’s the latest numbers for both?
Chico: Newlyweds wrapped this week with a 3.1/5 for third place in the time slot.
Jason: And Game Show?
Chico: A 2.2/4... Tied with Univision for FOURTH.
Gordon: You know, going back to the records, I remember me being the only one to Flush ISAJGS.
Chico: You're just going to hang us over that aren't you?
Gordon: Yes I am.
Jason: Yeah well.
Gordon: Guilty to the charge, and a slap on the butt to Chico and Jason for believing the spin.
Jason: But I am going to charge NOT GUILTY. This isn't cruelty to animals as much as placeholders for the shows people really want to watch.
Gordon: You both just want to justify the stupid move you made in May.
Chico: Well, it's up to me, now isn't it. Now I'd go NOT GUILTY...Except for one thing...The Listener. It was underperforming for NBC... and they shunted it down to its webspace.
Gordon: Neither show should have been renewed. Neither of them will be this time around.
Chico: So... GUILTY!
Gordon: Sentence?
Chico: So the sentence... Both show runners have to eat sushi off of Carnie Wilson. Sorry, Carnie.
Jason: I was thinking that the newlyweds should have intimate relations with wasabi lubricant.
Gordon: I would say they would have to eat off off Jason, who still continues to trumpet them.
Chico: Either or...
Jason: ROFL
Chico: Okay, next case?
Gordon: Next one...

Accused: The Shark Tank
Charge: Abuse of Power.

Jason: Interesting.
Gordon: Will the executives be able to overplay their negotiation hands 1. for the magic of television and 2. with people who obviously are going to be desperate with no places to turn to?
Chico: Been done before. Why not?
Gordon: I can see some of the Shark Tankers make extraordinary demands - like 50% of the company, etc.
Jason: But that's what they need to do to make drama. Not GUILTY.
Chico: Agreed. It's been done before. No harm done then. NOT guilty
Gordon: Its a business. I think people don't understand what business entails. And I think the excessive demands and how people react to it could be part of the fun. not guilty.
Gordon: Last one?
Chico: Last one, and I'm going to beat this thing senseless.

Accused: Dating in the Dark.
Charge: MAKING COP-AAAAAAAAYS.

Chico: This strikes me as a rip on a segment of "Mr. Personality" back in 2004 when the girl would take the guy into the dark room where... things would happen . You know... things?
Jason: Where was the show on?
Chico: Fox
Gordon: You ever wonder if they stayed as a couple?
Chico: Truthfully? No
Gordon: Well...they didn't. Aw.
Chico: Wow. I'm shocked, I tell you.. SHOCKED! Absolutely gobsmacked.
Jason: So yeah...guilty.
Gordon: Guilty! Sentence?
Chico: Sentence... The EPs get to go in the dark and wait for something really really really really REALLY bad to happen in the end. JUSTICE!
Jason: Ouch.
Chico: That's the idea.
Gordon: I'll send Chico to play with them in the dark. Guarantee something bad will happen then.
Chico: I'll bring a bat and some mousetraps. Meanwhile, when we return... we have five good reasons for... whatever, could be anything. See you after the break on WLTI...

(Brought to you by Piranha Pool. You think sharks are bad enough? Try lots of little people who want $50 here, $75, there, $100 there. The sharks will eat you alive, but the Piranhas cause more pain.)

Jason: Ouch that's not cool.
Chico: Ow
Gordon: But enough about my social life. :) What do we have next?
Chico: Next up... you're gonna love this, it's Five Good Reasons. You know how this works, so let's start with this... Hey Gordon!
Gordon: Hey Chico!
Chico: You watch Big Saturday Night?
Gordon: ...ashamed to admit it, but yes
Chico: You think it sucks? Aside from the shows, that is?
Gordon: I think it could be improved upon.
Chico: Okay…

Give us Five Good Reasons why the block should not be scrapped.

Gordon: You realize you are asking for pain at the end, right?
Jason: ROFL
Chico: Five. Good. Reasons. Five (gives "5" signal)... Good (gives thumbs up)… Reasons. (mock-writes)
Gordon: I got 5.1. 20 Q is a decent show. 2. The Rich List has potential to anchor the night. 3, Fred Roggin definitely has the chops to be one of the better hosts in the genre. 4. Keegan Michael-Key, with better material, can be a host in training, and 5. Cat Deeley, in addition to getting better, is pretty easy on the eyes. :)
Jason: Done and Done.
Chico: See, that was easy.
Gordon: (sharpening stiletto)
Jason: Hey Chico, I got one for you.
Chico: Okay.
Jason: You know that Drew Carey has been really excited about Season 38 of TPIR, right? He's been blogging and twittering about it.
Chico: I've been following him on it. He's really jazzed.
Jason: So, in that vain,

Give the fans 5 good reasons why we should be excited about Season 38.

Chico: 1) It's one more year of TPIR... and as any fan of pizza and/or Bill McDonald will tell you (hi, Bill)... bad TPIR is better than NO TPIR. 2) You're getting a taste of what's to come. If you don't get excited over that, you have no soul. 3) We're building off of the strengths of season 37's back season. 4) New home base. I know I'm excited. and 5) The possibility of a game show bookend on CBS daytime's enough to get anyone's mojo working.
Jason: Good for you.
Gordon: I've got 5 for Mr. Block. I'm going to change the format a little bit here. Now Jason. You were at the Deal or No Deal auditions.
Jason: Yes I was.You were there too.
Gordon: I was. Now we know that The Price is Right will be doing a contestant audition search. None of us are too pleased about it, but since we have to deal with it...

Give us 5 ways TPIR can improve their search so that it's better than...Deal or No Deal's contestant search.

Jason: 1. Swag. TPIR T shirts for everybody. 2. Along with the contestant interview, you need to have a knowledge of the game. 3. Models. Make the searches important. Have the appearance of on e of the case/ball ladies, or Carey's Cuties in this case. 4. Have a play along aspect like Wheel/Jeopardy for mini prizes like Ipods/GC's. 5. Tie it in with the CBS affiliate and promo the heck out of it...even=2 0with a week's worth of promotion...they ONLY got 3,000. They were expecting 10K. Did I do ok?
Chico: You did just fine. Now go talk to Gordon.
Jason: Alright Gordon.
Gordon: Hi
Jason: We all know you like certain shows like the Bachelor, right?
Gordon: Chico likes them more, but yes.

Give me 5 good reasons why "More to Love" will succeed.

Gordon: Actually, this isn't that hard, because I think it will succeed. And here's why: 1. It relates more to the common person that seeing anorexic women in tights. 2. A more common man won't act as much of a bubblehead and probably didn't go into this for celebritydom. 3. Same for the women. I'm guessing none of them will be modeling bikinis anytime in the near future. So they are all here for the right reasons. 4. This is a Mike Fleiss show. He knows the formula, and he knows how to make it work. 5. No competition from The Bachelorette, and those fans will wan t something to watch, so there it is.
Jason: Good job.
Chico: Okay, J...Here's one for you.1 vs. 100 is a draw for GSN... and the Xbox Live edition continues to make waves.

Give us Five Good Reasons why this show should, like the Joker's Wild and Tic Tac Dough before it... be revisited.

Jason: 1. The show itself was a lot of fun. 2. You can get a lot more people involved in one taping. 3. You can have the set move to different locations and get studios to do it. 4. Bob Saget was very good as host. 5. It was one of those shows (like Identity that it was paired with) that was cancelled before its time.
Chico: Good stuff.
Jason: And don't think you can have a true game show channel on XBOX Live.
Gordon: Finally....hi Chico :)
Chico: I'm ready for your slug to the chest, Gordon.
Gordon: I know one of your favorite shows from VH1 Celebreality, Megan Wants A Millionaire, is coming up in early August.
Jason: Oh no.
Gordon: I would say give me 5 good reasons why the show is on the top of your list.
Chico: You would...
Gordon: WOULD. But that's too easy.
Chico: Uh oh.
Gordon: So Chico, my good buddy and pal, I want you to give me 5 good reasons.

Why Megan is the perfect woman for you.

Chico: I will eat your heart.
Gordon: After you eat my children, sure.
Jason: ROFL
Chico: 1) Cute...2) Nice body...
Jason: ROFL
Chico: 3) Knows how to get what she wants..
Gordon: I think that’s great that you want the women of your dreams to get what she wants.
Chico: Make me a better person.
Gordon: I present to you...Chico. Every woman's dream - the living doormat.
Jason: ROFL
Chico: You call it being a doormat. I call it having a one way ticket to Ladytown.
Gordon: I call it you being subserviently whipped.
Chico: You can be the man outside, but inside... I'M the man. Anyhoo, 4) Doesn't mind being an accessory…and…5) Can show me the finer things...
Gordon: I don't think Chico enjoyed that last set, do you, Jay?
Jason: Nope. Not at all.
Chico: Let me put it to you this way... I always expect Gordon to be a complete and utter bastard. And I'm proud to say that he did not disappoint.
Gordon: YAY! Then you'll be thrilled about...this!

(Brought to you by Dating in Chico's Bathroom. It's dark, damp, and full of items to have a fun time with. Just put Megan's panties on the side while you're doing it.)

Chico: You sir... are a d-bag. :-)
Gordon: I'm too old to be on an MTV dating show. Sorry. :)P
Chico: You're too old to be on MTV period. I think we all are. I'm the youngest and I'm pushing 30.
Gordon: But I'm never too old to be on the Speed Round...NOW! Big Brother. Who's next?
Chico: Jeff. Supers pull it off.
Gordon: I think Jeff needs to win the veto or he's in deep trouble.
Chico: They have the numbers. I think Jeff's in deep doo-doo.
Jason: Don't know...but Jordan is not a smart one either.
Gordon: She isn't - which is why Jeff is the bigger threat and has to go.
Chico: There you go.
Gordon: Dating in the Dark. Watching it?
Jason: Heck to the no.
Gordon: I want to see it and hope Chico is shined with a light of awe.
Chico: Only for obvious reviewing purposes. I'm not recording it, though. Jeopardy! has one more week to go. Are we going to end on a high?
Jason: I hope so.
Gordon: I don't think so. This seems to be rotating champion time. Silent Library ended this week. Do we see season 2?
Chico: Why not.
Jason: Yup. Cheap to produce.
Chico: Other than Is She Really Going Out with Him, it's the only show in MTV's comedy block that survived. It survived..it thrived.
Gordon: DJ and the Fro got buzzed. I think we'll see SL come back. Do we see any mail this week?
Chico: Unfortunately, no. But we do have this datebook entry from a viewer...Lee Hubbard... thanks, Lee!

Chico: I'm assuming that they're going to switch over to the HD set unveiled at CES.
Jason: The new HD set premieres in Sept? Ok.
Chico: And that set, as we said before... was... Swwwweeeeeeeet!
Jason: Drooooool.
Gordon: And with that, we end this week's show. Special thanks to Jason Block for joining us this week.
Jason: Thank you. Always fun to be here.
Chico: And thanks to you for reading. Gordon, giv'em my address!
Gordon: wlti@gameshownewsnet.com. Or find us on FaceBook, MySpace or YouTube.
Chico: Thank you very much. And until next time, for Gordon and everyone at GSNN, I'm Chico Alexander. Game over... and spread the love!