Episode 18.5
July 7

Chico:     Now with awesome bleaching power.
Gordon: But does it sing?
Chico:     No, but we may.
Jason: Yay!
Chico: So this is what we're going to do. I or Gordon will present a subject, and you will all make a songbook for said subject.
Jason:    Right
Chico:     First up for Songbook is...

John, the other John, Jill, and all the folks at Wipeout.

Chico:     "Everybody Hurts" by REM.
Jason:     "TubThumping" by Chumbawumba "I get Knocked Down....and I get up again..."
Chico:     Yeah, our generation's drinking song.. because if you play that course... you have to had been... "Pissin' the night away"
Gordon:     King of Pain, By Sting
Jason:     "Turning Japanese" by the Vapors
Gordon:     Wipeout, by the Beach Boys
Chico:     Featuring the Fat Boys.
Jason:     LOL
Gordon:     Next one...

Trivial Pursuit. Let's give them some love.

Chico:     "I Lost on Jeopardy!" by Weird Al.
Jason:     "The Game" by Motorhead ...  "It's all about the Game...and how you play it"
Chico:     "Wonderful World" by Sam Cooke...   "Don't know much about history.... Don't know much of biology..."
Gordon:     'School House Rock' Theme
Gordon:     'The Facts of Life' Theme
Jason:     "Coat of Many Colors" from Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat
Gordon:     Next?
Chico:     Next one...

The trainwreck that is... "Your Place or Mine?"

Gordon:    'Nowhere Man' - The Beatles.
Chico:     "Burning Down the House" by Talking Heads?
Jason:     "Home On The Range"
Chico:     "Movin' Out (Anthony's Song)" by Billy Joel
Jason:     Theme from "The Jeffersons" (Movin On Up)
Gordon:     'Hit the Road, Jack', by Buster Poindexter / Suzy Tyrell.
Chico:     "Home" by Daughtry. Next?
Gordon:     Next one...

'I Love Money!' and who doesn't. Let's sing about it.

Chico:     Obviously, the O'Jays, "For the Love of Money"
Jason:     "I Get Money" - 50 Cent
Gordon:     Dirty Cash - The Adventures of Stevie V.
Chico:     Money... the Beatles, among others.
Jason:     "C.R.E.A.M." (Cash Rules Everything Around Me) - The Wu-Tang Clan
Chico:     Gin & Juice, Dr. Dre & Snoop Dogg.
Jason:     "She Works Hard for the Money" - Donna Summer
Gordon:     Next one?
Chico:     Next is...

Greatest American Dog...

Chico:     Just so I can say..."Believe It Or Not (Greatest American Hero)" - Joey Scarbury.
Jason:     "Atomic Dog" - George Clinton
Gordon:     'I'm Looking Over My Dead Dog Rover' - Hank, Stu, Dave and Hank
Jason:     "Who Let the Dogs Out" - Baja Men
Chico:     The "That's My Dog" theme
Jason:     "Bitch" - Meredith Brooks :)
Travis:     Theme from "Lassie".
Chico:     "Dog Days" - Duwende. And of course... "Hound Dog" by ... the King.
Gordon:     'Dead Puppies Aren't Much Fun' - Ogden Edsl
Chico: Nice, Gordon. Real Nice.
Gordon :D
Jason: LOL
Gordon:     Last one...and Travis will like this...
Travis:     *perks up attentively*

Dedicate a song to those nice people at Fremantle who decided to get rid of a 36 year veteran.

Travis:     Ooooh...
Jason:     Stupid Girls - Pink
Chico:     "No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Alice Cooper
Jason:     "There Coming to Take Me Away - Napoleon XIV
Travis:     Everybody Hates You - Combichrist
Gordon:     'Loser' -  Beck
Chico:     "(I Hate) Everything About You" - Ugly Kid Joe
Jason:     Hi Hater - Maino
Chico:     "(^_^) It" - Eamon.  Or, it's full title... "(^_^) It (I Don't Want You Back)"
Travis:     "There's a Change Happenin' Here"  -  "Walk Hard" soundtrack.
Gordon:     Now if we're wrong, and the new changes provide the best ratings since sliced bread...we'll admit it. Because we're men like that.
Jason:     Absolutely.
Chico:     The lost art of being a man is indeed lost..That's why we're bringing it back.
Gordon:     That being said...(snicker)...

(Brought to you up HanShark. It's a bird, it's a plane! It's a Shark so big that it does more than jump - it flies! It's Super Flying Shark! HanShark - the biggest Jumping Shark ever - coming to CBS Daytime in the Fall of 2008.)

Chico:     ...Did I mention that the lost art of being a man is indeed lost?
Gordon:     Is it hanging out on an island somewhere?
Jason:     You mean the time shifted Island?
Travis:     No. It's trapped in my trunk.
Gordon:     And I think the trunk is being sat on by a 5 ton elephant.
Travis: That's a very good possibility.
Gordon:     Maybe...or we may have to act out where the art of being a man is as we play WLTI Theater.
Travis:     Let me get my Max Factor pancake.
Jason:     (stretches)
Chico:     (sings scales)
Gordon:     And since we love continuing a theme...

Travis is Drew Carey. Jason Block is the Fremantle Executive that gets to tell him that he's out one Executive Producer. Aaaaaannnnd...Action!

Travis:     So, what'd you need to talk to me about?
Jason:     Drew sit down...Btw...good choice on the pizza
Travis:     Oh, thanks.  Parma pizza rocks, right?
Jason:     Yes it does.
Travis:     This is not gonna be good, is it?
Jason:     No, it isn't. Back to the issue at hand.
Travis:     Yeah.  what's up?
Jason:     We have decided to go in a different direction for Season 37.
Travis:     .......Wait.  I just learned this direction.  What do you mean?
Jason:     It's not you. You are fine. Roger's gone.
Travis:     WHAT?!?
Jason:     Look, we want to you know...jazz things up a bit. Make it more flashy, you know? The set needs brightening up...
Travis:     The one person on this staff that taught me everything I know about this show and taught me to keep it the way it was?
Jason:     Yeah, him. You can handle it. Add more Alakazams and you will be fine.
Travis:     You let him go to change the set?
Jason:     I let him go because he didnt want to do things the Fremantle way.
Travis:     Which is more flashy and in a sense destructive?
Jason:     Exactly. (smiles)
Travis:     You guys are asses.
Jason:     But we also pay your bills.
Travis:     I may take your money, but I don't have to like it.
Jason:     That's also true.
Travis:     You do realize this is possibly the dumbest thing you could possibly do to this show. I've seen the old tapes. I've heard all the stories from the old days.
Jason:     And?
Travis:     I think it's better keeping it like it is...WITH EVERYONE INTACT!
Jason:     Well, the genie is out of the bottle...you take your two weeks off...and you will love the new direction...trust me.
Travis:     I'm not so sure, but I have a Galaxy game to get to.  We'll talk on the 20th.

CUT!

Travis:     *bow*
Jason:     I bet you our version was a lot less curse laden than the REAL meeting.
Travis:     Most likely...but I'm not from the Cleveland area.
Chico:     Let me take this opportunity to say that no one has gone after CBS yet =p...JUST saying.
Gordon:     I just dont know if it's a CBS decision. I can't imagine CBS has much power in this situation.
Jason:     I agree. This was NOT CBS'S call.
Travis:     All Dismantle's decision.
Gordon:     But we can go after CBS too, if you want, for not stepping in :) And - you have the next act - so, I leave it in your capable hands as to whether YOU want to go after CBS.
Chico:     You know what... okay...

Travis, you play the CBS exec... and Jason, you play the Drew-meister. The time... just after the first scene... Aaaaaand Ac-TION!

Travis:     Susie, send Drew in.
Jason:     (bursts into the office)
Travis:     Oh..you're here.
Jason:     What the hell is going on?
Travis:     W--what do you mean?
Jason:     They...fired...Roger. You had to have heard?
Travis:     They didn't tell me anything.
Jason:     They decided to go in a "different direction"....you know what the (bleep) that means right? Why didn't you stop them?
Travis:     I couldn't stop them.  We have no say about how they run the show.
Jason:     So, you can't call Les and tell them where to go? This is going to SUCK so bad...you have no idea!
Travis:     We can call Les and discuss it, but I doubt we can do anything really.
Jason:     So you are going to do NOTHING? You are just going to sit on your big fat leather chair while the guy who basically ran the show for 36 years gets tossed out on his ass?
Travis:     It's not that we're going  to do nothing...we can't.
Jason:     Why CAN'T you?
Travis:     We just house the studio and air the show...we have no creative control at all.  Fremantle made sure of that.
Jason:     Bastards.

CUT!

Chico:     Seems like a good word to go out on.
Travis:     Towel?  Hot towel please?
Chico:     *tosses towel*
Jason:     (touches up makeup)
Travis:     That was my first cross-gender role, ya know.
Jason:     Who is the Exec at CBS?
Travis:     Margot Wain and Barbara Bloom...heads of Daytime.
Chico:     In that case, I should've made Jason play it. =p
Gordon:     Ouch.
Chico:     Right. Okay, Gordon, send us some happy.
Gordon:     The effect of the 'new direction' isn't just felt in the executive room...

Chico is the new boss of the Price is Right. Jason Block is...Tila Tequila, auditioning for a job as a Barker's Beauty...And....Action!

Jason:     (struts in) HELLO! I am Tila Tequila!
Chico:     Okay, who ordered Chinese?
Jason:     I am Thai, thank you.
Chico:     Oh, you're not the delivery girl. I'm sorry! Anywho, how can I help you?
Jason:     I am auditioning to become a new Barker's Beauty...can't you see how hot I am?
Chico:     ... are you coming onto me, Ms. Tequila?
Jason:     Oh no....I was just thinking of how we can spice up the prize descriptions...like kissing scenes when you give out a new hot tub, perhaps?
Travis:     (as every fanb0i on earth)  eeeeeeeeeeeeeep :)
Chico:     Hmm... That seems like an interesting idea... Doubt if it'll fly on daytime, though.
Jason:     Oh why not...people love me!
Chico:     Let me just go over this laundry list here.
Jason:     ok.
Chico:     Can you giggle on command?
Jason:     (giggles)
Travis:     eep!
Chico:     Do you own a two-piece?
Jason:     Sure.
Chico:     Do you have a physical aversion to people from Cleveland?
Jason:     No (shakes breasts)
Chico:     Can you make love to a sauna?
Jason:     (makes gyrating stripper pole-like motions)
Chico:     .... I said TO a sauna, Ma'am.
Jason:     Oh...sorry. Yes.
Travis:    Eeeeeeeeeeeep!
Chico:     I can only see this going one way...
Gordon:    From what I hear, she can go both ways. :)
Travis:    Ooooh
Chico:     I'll give you a call.
Travis:    Oop :(
Jason:     A call?
Chico:     Whether or not you've got the job is still anyone's guess, but I'll still give you a call.
Jason:     (stomps feet) NO ONE SAYS NO TO TILA! (Storms out)

CUT!

Jason:     I need a shower after that one. And no...not cold.
Chico:     You're not the only one.
Jason:     That's like proposing Amy Winehouse as a Barker's Beauty.
Chico:     Don't. Even. Go there. Gordon.
Gordon:     Awwwww.
Travis:     blah blah blah blah blah blah REHAB...*slurs*...wheeze NO NO NO
Gordon:     Next?
Chico:     Okay, let's go to a different subject right quick. Okay, next scene...

Gordon... you're Tom Bergeron. Jason... you're Cat Deeley...and Travis... you're Mario Lopez. You're all at a screening party for Dance Machine (you're just there for free grub and the probability of Duel afterwards)...And roll it... AC-TION!

Travis:     I can't eat too much and spoil my hot bod.
Jason:     Tom how are you...(air kisses)
Gordon:     I'm about to take my seat here. Hey Mario, how's that Chorus Line gig going?
Travis:     *stuffs cheese in his pockets*  Fantastically.
Jason:     (sits down)
Gordon:     Hey Cat - nice to see you again. I hope you come to our live shows again this year.
Jason:     Definitely
Chico:     (imitating TV) And now, the host of the most, the master blaster, the random rhyming phrase... JASON KENNEDY! *cheers*
Jason:     (watches the screen in horror) (whispers) what is that?
Gordon: I don't see any stars. Maybe people who could be part of our custodial staff, though.
Travis:     I agree. (noms a cookie)
Chico:     *starts playing music*
Jason:     Oh. My. God. The Gyrations. Nigel would have offed that bloke in a minute.
Gordon:     (gazes). You sure they don't work as custodial staff?
Chico:     *music stops*
Gordon:     (Stares)
Travis:     I have no idea what to say here...(noms some more food)
Chico:     *so, what did you guys think, huh? *louder affected cheers*
Jason:     (whispers to Mario) do I have to clap?
Travis:     (whispers to Cat)...I think so.
Gordon:    (golf clap) Shouldn't a mop and bucket be two of the props?
Jason:     YOU GUYS SUCK! THIS SHOW IS HORRIBLE!  WE HAVE MORE TALENT IN MY TOENAIL THAN THIS RUBBISH. THIS IS BOLLOCKS! (walks out)
Travis:     I'm gonna have to agree...but I love the spread! (walks out)
Gordon: (Walks to the stage) Hey Jason! Get back to work! The mop's over in the corner (walks out)

CUT!

Chico:     Okay, next scene, please.
Gordon:     Next scene...

Gordon is Hans the Cliffhanger Climber. Chico is a plinko chip. Scene: Talking about the 'New Direction'. Aaaaannnnd....Action!

Travis:     Gordon has to act in a German accent. Chico in a Japanese accent.
Chico:     We're gonna get letters.
Gordon:     So you heard about the 'New Direction', Yah?
Chico:     Hai. You think we're going to have jobs after all of this? After all, I'm the most popular prop and you... well...
Gordon:     I don't know if either of us will survive. As for me - I heard they were going to replace me with a younger Swedish Model with big Pathfinders.
Chico:     They can't replace me. I mean... look at me. I'm a Plinko chip. I make the Plinko go.
Gordon:     Well, here's the problem. Fremantle doesn't have a lot of hits. And they have a ton of leftover props from their failed shows.
Travis:     (as Bob Boden's panel truck)  Beep - Beep - Beep - Beep - Beep - Beep - Beep - Beep - Beep.
Jason:     OK Guys...load em up!
Chico:     Oh man.. That's not good.. They just took Secret X.
Gordon:     I know. Secret X is being replaced by Secret X-Factor, where you have to line up the Simon Cowells.
Chico:     Now you're just being alarmist.
Jason:     (Drops off new Secret X-Factor Game)
Gordon:    No - look (Points to the new Secret X-Factor Prop)
Chico:     I swear if you turn into one of those sniveling fanboys, I'm going to karate kick the crap out of you. Yeah.... You heard me....
Jason:     (Starts to load up Cliff Hangers...)
Gordon:    Hey watch the backside, buddy!  Just to warn you, they are going to replace you with pieces of those ping pong balls they no longer need at the Whammy Set. Save Your sellllfffff..... (gets loaded into the truck)
Jason:     (Drops off the new Cliffhangers Game)
Gordon:     (As Olga, the new Cliffhanger Babe): Ya! I'm from Sweden, Ya! You like My Mountain Peaks?
Chico:     Hai...

CUT!

Jason:     Travis...that was so wrong...but so right about Bob :)
Travis:     I felt like it needed to be said
Jason:     I know you do.
Chico:     And for the record, I do stand by my earlier remark about sniveling fanboys needing to just calm the hell down for a second.
Gordon:    And I stand by the remark that although we're not at Armageddon on the show, they have every reason to be concerned.
Chico:     Touche'. Finally...

Travis is Roger Dobkowitz...

Travis:     Done. Already got the glasses

Chico is Scott St John at Deal or No Deal. Gordon is the head of Merv Griffin's Crosswords, and Jason is over at Temptation. The scene - recruiting Roger to join your show. Aaaaaand...Action!

Travis:     So, as you all may know, I'm out of a job.
Jason:     Yes, and I am very sorry about that. We need a revamp at our show too...we need someone with experience...maybe he can help!
Chico:     Well, we're going into daytime, and I could use someone who had a handle in making a daytime show work.
Gordon:     Nonsense. Roger wants to come over and help our Crosswords. Maybe he can create pricing games instead of an Extra.
Travis:     Well, Scott, you did put up a heck of a fight against us on Wednesday nights...And Crosswords does need some major help...
Jason:     Look, we need help and help bad...if you kick Ginger Sampson out...maybe you can do it right.
Gordon:     Deal Or No Deal is on a decline. Get with a show that could be a dynasty, baby!
Chico:     But that's for the general audience. This is strictly for... well, this is for general audience as well, but it's a completely difference scope. And truth be told.. I'm scared. After all, Crosswords scraped up a renewal. And Temptation... J, why are you even HERE?
Travis:     Now, wait, wait...I may be able to help all of you.
Jason:     How?
Gordon: How?
Chico:     How?
Travis:     Temptation, you need a brain.  You need the smarts to become a show of your own. Crosswords, you need heart.  You have a solid frame, but you still need the internals to work. Deal, you need courage.  The courage to venture into the forest that is syndicated daytime television.
Jason:     Are you the Wizard?
Travis:     You see my hot-air balloon in the parking lot?
Jason:     (looks outside)
Chico:     Wizard of Beverly & Fairfax. I'll buy it.
Jason:     There's no place like home (taps shoes)
Travis:     I've already granted "Price" its wish to go back home...back to GSN after it tanks without me there.
Chico:     Can I come too? I hear they need product.
Travis:     No...you stay here.
Jason:     Me too. I can help.
Travis:     Temptation, you can help by sending your father, "Sale of the Century" to GSN
Chico:     Yeah. Again... J, why are you here?
Jason: (shrugs)

CUT!

Travis:     I'll have you all know...the "Wizard of Oz" references...entirely improv.
Jason:     That was great.
Chico:     And the balcony is closed.
Gordon:     That's a wrap. We wrap everything up with The Speed Round - after this!

(Brought to you by "Who Wants to Be the Dob?" Forget "Who Wants to Be Bob Barker"... this is the ultimate search for the ultimate gig... with ultimate stakes... Ginger Simpson need not apply.)

Travis:     All while eating leftover Parmesan Garlic boneless wings from Buffalo Wild Wings.
Chico:     Am I the only one looking forward to this new regime? I seem to be the only one.
Gordon: ...because you are the only one. :P
Chico:     I'm all like, let's see what happens before I go ape-nuts here.
Travis:     I just want to see what kind of "new direction" it's going in.
Gordon:     I'm afraid of the direction it's going to go in. (Looks down)
Chico:     Way to jump to conclusions, G.
Gordon:     Ok. Seriously, we all want the show to succeed. Please, please, please, don't screw this up, Fremantle.
Jason:     But at least we can all agree on this...Thank you, Roger.
Chico:     Agreed. Thank you, Roger.
Jason:     Thank you for everything.
Travis:     Thank you a thousand times over.
Gordon:     Thanks for 36 great years, Roger.
Chico:     Okay, folks... Speed Round time... Two minutes on the clock... and.... GO!
Gordon:     Hell's Kitchen - who wins?
Jason:     Still going with Christine
Chico:     I stand by my original answer. Should: Christine. Will: Petrozza.
Gordon:     Unfortunately, I agree.
Chico:     Dance Machine and Duel are on tonight. Will they be on next week?
Jason:     Nope.
Travis:     Nopers
Gordon:     Yes - because there's nothing left to put on.
Jason:     Reruns of Wipeout and Japanese Game Show?
Gordon:    Possibly...I love Money - You watching?
Jason:     Yup.
Travis:     Nope.
Chico:     Curiosity beckons. Besides... it lampoons every convention of reality TV.
Gordon:     I'm watching. Should be entertaining
Chico:     And I don't think the participants are in on the joke, so... even funnier.
Gordon:     And we always get smiles on our faces when we read viewers mail.
Travis:     E-mails.  We get e-mails.  We get inboxes and inboxes of e-mails.
Gordon: We start with...a MARATHON letter from Daniel Benfield. I decided - that we should have some fun with the letter. It's so long...that we can make a Summer Series out of it :) So, I proudly present...

The Letter of Daniel Benfield
Episode #1 - CROSSWORDS

Jason:     ok

Gordon:     Daniel, Daniel, Daniel...it ain't going to see a season #2.
Chico:     Season 2's basically season 1 unaired shows.
Gordon:     But..at least we get to see Ryan Vickers. Yay!
Chico:     And if it doesn't make anything off of those... then it's not going to start back up in 2009.

Jason:     What is the original he is thinking of?
Chico:     Begins with L and rhymes with Dingo.
Jason:     Ah. That one.

Gordon:     I would be thinking more like Camouflage in feel.
Chico:     Yeah, but that was in 2006
Gordon:     Yeah - but that's much closer to Camouflage than Lingo.

Gordon:     I would say, in Game Show Terms...$1.98.
Travis:     Suh-nap.
Chico:     Which reminds me. I'm surprised no one brought up The Gong Show. We had judges and everything.
Jason:     That happens on the 17th.
Chico:     The mother of all reality talent shows... featuring people ill ready to perform being judged by people ill ready to judge.
Gordon:     And yes, Daniel Benfield will be a 13 episode series.
Travis:     Whoa
Jason:     Whoa indeed
Chico:     Next letter: This one goes out to Bobby McBride. Friend over at the Kingdom...

Chico:     Can I blame half of this on Ochi, Steve's partner?
Jason:     I can.
Travis:     I can too.
Gordon:     Can and done.
Chico:     She wasn't exactly giving SAT level clues. Grand... Rocks... GRAND...all for "Canyon" Arizona... Grand... Chasm. EASY.
Travis:     Chasm...big word.
Gordon:     Gorge
Chico:     For Flexible...
Gordon:    Bendable...
Chico:     Agile... People like to think that Password is a hard game. It isn't!
Jason:     Not if you know your words.
Chico:     Nope. You don't even have to study up for it. Just... go on feel. Password is a game you play with your gut. You play it up here *points at head*, but you gotta play it from here as well *points at heart*
Gordon:     Yep. We end the show on an email from IntelligentReader777. Thanks!

Gordon:     Less Haterade?
Chico:     Yeah... that's not going to happen.
Gordon:    Try Never.
Jason:     Nope.
Travis:     Not with so many people and things that need to be hated on.
Jason:     The Haterade is needed in this crazy world.

Jason:     This letter was written before this week, I bet.
Travis:     Hopefully it will make it to 7000
Gordon:     Since Fremantle is really at the helm, I'm guessing we'll have 8 chances (with both Showcase Showdowns) and if you get within $10,000 in the Showcases, you win TEN MILLION DOLLARS!!!!!!!!!!!
Jason: And a Pony!!!
Chico:     Aaaaand back to the letter.

Chico:     Yeah, that's not going to happen either.
Gordon:     I don't see it happening - but I could see a Top 9 challenge of the Champions at CES.
Chico:     That... might happen.
Jason:     Pick me! Pick me!

Jason:     Salute!
Gordon:     (Salutes to Intelligent Fan)
Travis:     Salute
Chico:     *group salute*
Jason:     And thank you to all the fighting men and women who have laid down their lives and still do this day...to allow us the right to express our opinions.
Gordon:     Yes sir.
Chico:     Agreed.
Jason:     I NEVER take that for granted.
Chico:     So if you want to comment on this episode...or the holidays...or the troops...where do they send the letters to?
Gordon:     You can send it to wlti@gameshownewsnet.com or wltiongsnn on MySpace
Chico:     Yes. Big thanks to Jason Block and Travis Schario for spending their holiday with us.
Jason:     Thank you. This one had to be.
Travis:     No problem!  Happy to hate and help!
Gordon: I think this week was less WLTI and more Game Show Fan Therapy.
Chico:     Agreed. We're going to be in Atlantic City this weekend coming up, so if you see a guy in a hat and a guy that looks like Dobby the house elf in some sort of Geek Entourage... stop and say hello.
Jason:     Profit: The Sequel
Chico:     We may include you... MAY... :-)
Travis:     Yep.
Chico:     For Gordon and everyone at GSNN, I'm Chico, and until next time... game over, spread the love, and have a safe and happy weekend!