Game Show Newsnet

Episode 21.5
July 6

Chico: Seriously, they can have a series of celebrities pooing on their lawns and people will watch. Because it's VH1.
Gordon: I'm guessing you want to know what people who watch these shows are thinking.
Chico: I really do. I mean... don't you?
Gordon: I do. Let's try to figure that out. What's on the docket first?
Chico: First...

It's Nina Ginocchio. She won three games, but it's easy to forget that she almost lost her first when she bet $2000 on a Daily Double late in Double Jeopardy! instead of the suggested $199. Could've guaranteed that the game would be out of reach. Instead, she was very much vulnerable. What was she thinking?

Gordon: Oooh...look at all the pretty numbers. $2,000 is a pretty number, isn't it?
Chico: Yep. But not when you have less than a minute to go and you're leading $19,400 to $9600...
Gordon: But $2,000 is pretty. I could be at an even $21,400. Who likes those 9s anyway? They are icky.
Chico: Yeah, but the point was to win. It may be icky, but it gets the job done.
Gordon: That's what she's thinking. Let's see what he was thinking...

The Entertainer, after getting his new Dating Reality show on VH1.

Chico: ...called, appropriately enough.."the Entertainer".
Gordon: Yes. What was he thinking?
Chico: Booty booty booty booty rockin' everywhere. Booty.
Gordon: This could really pimp out my room in my mom's basement. It's the Booty Basement!
Chico: I call it "the Boot cave"
Gordon: Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na....Boot Cave!
Chico: Seriously. Never mind what the Entertainer thinks... what does Wayne Newton think? I seem to remember this one show he was hosting...
Gordon: Called The Entertainer. I'm sure he can't be too happy about that. next one?
Chico: Next...

The Millionaire Phone Game is back. You're Joe Game show fan... What are YOU thinking?

Gordon: (plays Halleluiah Chorus) I can get on a show without a contestant search! yay!
Chico: But wait! There's the phone game, but then there's "video audition".
Gordon: Which means...lets judge on physical appearance. Joe Game Show Fan doesn't like that.
Chico: No.
Gordon: Joe Game Show fan gets angry. you don't want Joe Game Show Fan angry.
Chico: Nope. He'll chew your head off
Gordon: He will, too. Next one...

Wipeout's Motivator, after seeing his show edge out So You Think You Can Dance this week.

Chico: America has the good taste. Dancing... GOOD. Pain... BETTER. And no, this doesn't look good for fall. Fox made a BIG error there adding SYTYCD into the fall.
Gordon: I wonder if the wrecking ball is free tonight and we can double date with Karla and Asuka, since they both seem to be available.
Chico: That'll be one hot date.
Gordon: I agree that FOX is going to pay for that blunder and damage their franchise. Next one?
Chico: Next...

HiFi Recordings, responding to Adam Lambert's statement that leaked recordings will not be representative of his new stuff.

Gordon: The tracks are already laid down, so we don't have to spend a lot of money on production. Add the fangirls and boys who want it, and we have massive profit.
Chico: ... That sounds about right. Last one?
Gordon: Last one...

All of the audience that watches VH1's reality dating shows.

Chico: Either "I can make the TV go like this." or "I can't find the batteries!" Choose one :-)
Gordon: "I don't need to go out on July 4th to watch fireworks. Love? who needs loive? We need good fights."
Chico: "I turned the TV on ... all by myself!"
Gordon: Yes, baby Chico, you did. Now go out and get some cookies while we play with the remote - afer this.

(Brought to you by Dance With Your Ass. People from all over the world brought their donkeys, burros, mules, mother-in-laws, and any other asses they can find. Donald Trump hosts.)

Chico: Ass.
Gordon: Why yes.
Chico: Ass me no question, I'll tell you no lies.
Gordon: And we're back. Did you figure out how to use that remote yet?
Chico: Yeah. The green button accesses the list of stuff I recorded.
Gordon: Good, cause we're going to figure out what shows go there. Let's cover the next 6 days, starting with...

20Q Vs. Can You Duet Vs. BrainRush/Destroy Build Destroy

Chico: Watch 20Q... Record BrainRush/Destroy Build Destroy. What can I say? I'm a sucker for a pretty face and a British accent.
Gordon: I'll do the same. The problem with Can You Duet is that it's the judges choices - not the public. So it's like why should we care?
Chico: There you go.
Gordon: Next day...Sunday...

Chopped Vs. Next Food Network Star (no, we're not even bothering with Daisy of Love. Deal with it)

Chico: Watching Chopped... recording Next Food Network Star.
Gordon: Chopped is a fun, smart show, with creativity that I wish the Next Food Network Star would pick up.
Chico: Agreed. And Ted Allen... far more charismatic than Bobby Flay. Sorry.
Gordon: It's true. Next one...

Mondays...Charm School Vs. The Bachelorette

Chico: I'd like to go off the board, Jack.
Gordon: Pick your poison. Arsenic or Cyanide?
Chico: Watching the inside of my eyelids while recording Dance Your Ass Off.

What about Dance Your Ass Off Vs. Here Come the Newlyweds Vs. 4th and Long?

Chico: Watching 4th & Long. Great stuff, very underrated. Recording Dance Your Ass Off, if only to avoid Newlyweds.
Gordon: How's that North Carolinian doing?
Chico: Jesse Holley's still in it. But it's like "Newlyweds"... some shows you just can't unwatch.
Gordon: Next one...

Great American Road Trip Vs. The Superstars.

Chico: I'm going to go Superstars. Jenn Brown is easy on the eyes.
Gordon: I'll go Road Trip. The one good thing it's got going for it is that AGT is on right after it, so I think it will get a decent sized sampling audience.
Chico: We'll see.
Gordon: Next one....

Wednesdays...Wipeout Vs. So You Think You Can Dance

Chico: Easy. Wipeout. I know this goes against what I said earlier, but... Big Balls can't be denied. Neiher can motivators or suckerpunches.
Gordon: Wipeout is also a 1 hour commitment, not 3. (2 on Wednesday, 1 on Thursday)
Chico: Another thing is that I can't finish watching SYTYCSD before going to work. So I can do that in the morning when I get home.
Gordon: There you go. Finally...

Thursdays. So You Think You Can Dance Vs. She's Got The Look.

Chico: Watch Dance. Record Look. I'd have to record both anyway, but given the choice.
Gordon: I'll go the other way around. SGTL is a 1 hour commitment, not 3.
Chico: Again... Pretty face and British accent.
Gordon: And that's it. We'll revisit this in the fall, when the new shows pop up.
Chico: Meanwhile, we're going to hit you with the Speed Round.. .NEXT!

(Brought to by the Chuck Barris Preservation Society, now working overtime in this new game show world. Think about it... America's Got Talent is the Gong Show... Deal or No Deal is Treasure Hunt... Don't even get us started on the Dating Game)

Chico: The only thing we're missing is a new take on the $1.98 Beauty Show. But then again, what can you buy with $1.98 nowadays? Half a tank of gas....A donut...a class action lawsuit for garnished wages...For only $1.98? Where do I sign up?
Gordon: Right here as the speed round starts...now! America's Got Talent - do we see anything better than the singing chicken catcher?
Chico: Might see one or two more. We'll see soon enough. Big Brother... watching?
Gordon: Of course - u?
Chico: I might. I know I give it a lot of crap, but I'm strangely interested
Gordon: The Bachelorette - Does Wes go any further?
Chico: I want to say yes, but really I just don't give a crap.
Gordon: Wipeout - all -female final. Will we see another female winner this season?
Chico: I think so.
Gordon: I know we'll see some good email. What do you got?
Chico: We got some great e-mail. First, the voice.... Doug Morris.

TO: WLTI
FROM: Doug Morris

First and foremost, it's *GREAT* to see "Pyramid" looking like "Pyramid" instead of a WWTBAM clone (read: the early 2000's set). Naturally, I hope this gets picked up. If it does bow, a few words of advice to the host-to-be: sit back and let the game be the star. Throw in the necessary comment *when* necessary, of course. But don't get in the way of the game.

The star shined well in the '70s and '80s. In seeing only a few eps of the '90s "$100,000" remake with John Davidson at the helm, he looked horribly out of place and overpowered a classic game. Donny Osmond wasn't too bad; I think the most recent revival suffered from frenetic pacing (6 in 20 seconds as opposed to 7 in 30), a crummy set (see earlier take), bad directing calls (too many closeups of the winner's circle during an endgame) and a persnickety judge. Here's hoping the current "Pyramid" team learned the mistakes of their immediate predecessors.

My biggest worry is having "Pyramid" in million dollar form. I'm sure we've all seen the clip of William Shatner screwing up in giving the clue "the blessed..." for "things that are blessed" -- and the chaos that followed. I'd hate to see the chaos following an illegal clue with a million at stake.

Chico: Thanks, Doug. You think that's bad... Imagine what would've happened on Password.
Gordon: The good thing about Pyramid is that the million WILL be given away, so it's not like Password where it may - or may not - be given out.
Chico: But yeah, the best way to do the game justice is to just play the game. John Davidson, for one... just wrong for that show.
Gordon: Davidson had nothing to do with the gameplay, though he didn't help. I can safely say that Tim Vincent or Dean Cain would be better than Davidson.
Chico: Gordon... ANYONE would be better than Davidson.
Gordon: Not anyone.
Chico: Okay, a great majority of people...How about that?
Gordon: I'll take it. Next up - Steven Waldie. Thanks, Steven!

TO: WLTI
FROM: Steven Waldie

Dear Game Show News Net: I have a couple of things to share about the exciting June 28 episode of "We Love to Interrupt." Did someone say "Superstars" contestant Ali Landry is on "Heroes"? You're confusing her with Ali Larter. Ali Landry was on that Doritos commercial that ran during the Super Bowl some years ago. And she STILL looks hot!!!!!

Gordon: That was me. Mea Culpa.

TO: WLTI
FROM: Steven Waldie

And did Gordon Pepper mention "Llevatelo"? Boy, was I surprised! "Llevatelo" is my all-time favorite Spanish-language game show. "Sabado Gigante" is second, and Univision is no longer on my cable. AAAACCKKKKK!!!!!

Gordon: Llevatelo is a very underrated show. I loved that show.

TO: WLTI
FROM: Steven Waldie

Gordon, I think you should go to YouTube and check out some classic "Llevatelo" clips. Some of their games were reworked versions of "Price is Right" pricing games like Punch-a-Bunch and the late, great Superball. One clip has three little kids playing the punchboard game. By the end of the clip, all but a couple of holes were punched out. If this happened on "The Price is Right", it would be vandalism!

Gordon: I agree, to a point. There wasn't any pricing on Llevatelo, plus GSN has nothing like that show (or TPIR, for that matter) on the air.

TO: WLTI
FROM: Steven Waldie

I agree with Gordon and say that "Llevatelo" is due for a revival. But who would fill the shoes of Paco Stanley, who was fatally shot and killed ten years ago last month? Wayne Brady of Fox's now-canceled "Don't Forget the Lyrics" has my vote. And some (if not all) of the models would be fresh from the unemployment line following the cancellation of a certain NBC show.

Gordon: You definitely have the models. As for the host, I like Brady, but I could also see a Todd Newton of Frank Nicotero host that sort of show. What do you think, Chico?
Chico: I think those three would work...How about Chris Hardwick? he needs work that doesn't involve Joel McHale impersonations.
Gordon: I think you need someone more pure and less snarky for that sort of role.

TO: WLTI
FROM: Steven Waldie

I'm really looking forward to the return of Regis on "Millionaire" later this summer. And the "Price is Right" set is getting another touchup! If Drew's Twitter page is any indication, the show will still be in classic form and the viewers won't have to worry. Bye, y'all! Avoid Jack Wagner at all costs!

Chico: Ah. well, you'd know about that more than I would
Gordon: I would. Thanks Steven. Next email?
Chico: Next is from our good friend Josh Johannesen.

TO: WLTI
FROM: Josh Johannesen

Two things for you guys this week. 1. With BSN taking a breather this week, probably due to failing ratings, it would seem that GSN is trying to figure out what is wrong with it. So, look into your crystal ball... and tell us what sort of changes you envision coming to the show when it returns= next Saturday. (BTW, it looks like Money List and 20Q will be repeats (already), but there will be brand-new Oodles questions! Wee! *eyeroll* At least there's a slight reason to watch the repeats.)

Gordon: To be fair, I think its in repeats because no one's going to be home during 4th of July weekend, complete with fireworks.
Chico: True, but the fact remains that Big Saturday Night... not as big as GSN has hoped. Here's a big change that I'm thinking... I'm thinking the shows themselves will return. The block will not after these nine weeks.
Gordon: Lot of money for not a lot of reward. I'll also guess that I expect these shows to show up on a weeknight and not a Saturday
Chico: As for the immediate future, we'll see more game, less miscellany. The problem here... people trying too hard. It's like asking a vegetarian the best way to cook ragout of lamb. You just can't do it. The letter continues...

TO: WLTI
FROM: Josh Johannesen

2. On a completely different topic... Japanese Game Show is also having failing ratings. Long ago, last year in fact, I was one of the primary complainers about the new American Gladiators. Something about there being too much show and not enough game. In this case, though, it seems to be the opposite problem. Too much game and not enough show. Makes things generally confusing. Now, I don't particularly mind the reward/punishment aspect ala Hell's Kitchen. But, frankly, if you're going to have eliminations, make them part of the game instead of the show. For example, the person judged to be the strongest on the losing team gets to pick 2 for elimination on the spot. Or empirically (don't know how one would do it, honestly) determine the two worst for the week and have them go at it. Some method so that the elimination aspect doesn't seem so horribly disjointed from the rest of the show. Anyway... have a fantastic 4th, and a great week!

Chico: I think I got this one. American Gladiators had a very solid game aspect. The problem was that we saw less of it and more of... well, everything else. Japanese Game Show... just the opposite. We had great storytelling, but a flimsy game aspect. It's a case of "more of a bad thing".
Gordon: It's not only more of a bad thing. The format is all wrong. There is no way a woman can win this game. The games are lame. The format of deciding who gets into the elimination game is lame. It's all around lameness.
Chico: It's a lame game, gaming lame, with the lameness.
Gordon: Though I remember you and Jason thinking it would be a hit.
Chico: Well, it was a hit last season. And it wowed critics. So... what happened?
Gordon: They needed to change not just the format, they needed to fix what was wrong with it, and they didn't. So that's why we have an import we'd like to export.
Chico: Last one! From Myke Perrey from Indy. Thanks, Myke!

TO: WLTI
FROM: Myke Perrey

After seeing the photos of the pilot set and reading various reports on the game play, I'm stoked for the pick-up of The $1,000,000 Pyramid. It looks like Mr. Davies has done just about everything right here. Dean Cain is an interesting choice as host. I wasn't blown away by Tim Vincent on Millionaire, but who knows? I'm sure the trilons that are making some fans giddy will be replaced by monitors or by one large video display if it goes to series. (It's just more cost effective and secure, folks!)

But it's great that they're using the same playbook as in the 1980s relaunch of The $25,000 Pyramid...the game ain't broke, don't fix it! You'd think that CBS would have to make an announcement soon if the premiere date would be Sept. 21. With Jeff Davis reportedly on tap to host a Let's Make a Deal pilot, what do you guys think the odds are that both shows will be on the schedule in the fall?

Chico: Thanks, Myke. Well, a while ago, I outlined three scenarios in order of their likelihood. Right now, Pyramid still seems to be the front runner if only because we have everything ready. I'd like to hear how LMAD will go or the Dating Game.... because Pyramid is not an hour show. You can run it an hour... but it'd be too much of a good thing. That tends to wear things out. Then there's the third option - giving the hour back to affiliates. I don't see that happening. Not at CBS.
Gordon: I see both shows on CBS. The good news is that they are tried and true formats that work. However, from a personal standpoint, I'd like to see new ideas and new formats have a chance, too.
Chico: Here's a thought... use a tried and true format to launch something new. It worked for Change of Heart. Not so much for Love Connection. Pat Bullard is not funny. Producers of the next generation. I come to you with this appeal...Keep him as far away from your show as possible. The production you save... may be your own.
Gordon: And on that note, I'm out of mail.
Chico: That means we're out of time. Awwwww. But the game continues at wlti@gameshownewsnet.com
Gordon: or Facebook, MySpace or youTube
Chico: Send us stuff. If we like it, we'll throw it on site.
Gordon: Special thanks to no one in particular, since it's me and Chico this week.
Chico: But BIG Special thanks to you for reading. And we'll see you next week with what we have to say about .. houseguest #13... ooohhh. Until then, for everyone at GSNN, I'm Chico Alexander, saying game over... and spread the love.