Episode 23.13 - April Foolin'
April 5

Gordon: I'm a proud fan and supporter of the school. Go Duke!
Chico: Go Butler! Hometown heroes! Besides... we all know Duke sucks and Coach K is a crybaby...
Gordon: I have a table reservation for Bitter, party of 1. Mr Bitter Alexander, your table for 1 is ready.
Chico: Ah shut it :-) Welcome back to WLTI. We're celebrating all things April. And if April is watching, I'll be over in 5 minutes.
Gordon: I will, but I want to hear other people talk this week. It's Say Wha? Time, and here with the quotes, Mr. Chico.
Chico: PRESENT.
Gordon: Please present away. No time like the Present to present your audio presents :)
Chico: Yup. First up, this from a Dancing Star...

"The dude smells ridiculously amazing, we could be working out, outside for 4 hours and I’ll smell like a guy, and he smells like a garden of lilies."

Gordon: I could say that it's from any woman at your work place after working out with you. But it's actually Erin Andrews.
Chico: Correct. Though I've been told I smell like a garden of lilies. Then I switched to Old Spice.
Gordon: Better lilies then Pussy Willow.
Chico: Anyway, this was with Ryan Seacrest when she denied for the umpteenth time that her and Maks are an item.
Gordon: Maksim is single. Erin is single. Why not? Go for it. Besides, you may need a bodyguard with the death threats coming your way.
Chico: We're standing behind you guys. Okay, we had a dancing star, now about a Dancing Pro...

"I don't like speaking when I am upset, and I don't ever want to bring back words that I don't mean, and 'I quit,' I guess, was one of them"

Gordon: That's Tony Dovolani, after Ms. Gosselin took him to the breaking point.
Chico: She has a habit of that.
Gordon: Ask Jon, who just got dumped also.
Chico: Yeah. He's got a habit of that too. You know some times you get two people who just don't belong and they ... spawn...
Gordon: I think Jon and Kate deserve each other.
Chico: Ha. Next... neither a dancing pro nor a dancing star, but can still dance anyway.

"The whole reason for doing it is to make the show more exciting...Some of these brilliant dancers have just disappeared off the face of the earth. To be able to have this show use its own talent is fabulous."

Gordon: That would be Nigel Lythgoe defending the use of his dancers to return as 'Guest Dancers' on So You Think You Can Dance.
Chico: One of many changes he's implementing. Another... no top 20... only a top 10.
Gordon: Let me go on record as to say I hate that one.
Chico: Let me go on record as saying "They're getting desperate".
Gordon: People will be voting on their favorite veterans. And yes, they are. This ruins the fairness of the show. Woe be to the person not paired up with a defending champion. You know what I'd prefer to see?
Chico: Tell me what you'd prefer to see.
Gordon: If you must bring back the veterans, have a 'Second Chance' Division and pair up people in the Top 12 who came in the Top 4 but didn't win. THAT would be fun to see. So you have 2 different divisions with 2 different champions.
Chico: But no, you're going to have the all-stars... and people'll play favorites and... well... you saw how that worked out. ahemworldidolahem.
Gordon: I don't mind All-Stars with people who are all in the same boat. I do mind when the voting of an all-star affects someone unfairly.
Chico: I can see that.
Gordon: It's like Idolers doing duets with a Seasonal champion. I'll be happy for those who got Kelly Clarkson and sad for the poor schmoe stuck with Jordin Sparks. Keep them separated. Next one?
Chico: Okay, next... no dancing whatsoever... unless you count what this guy was talking about.

"You had that money spent. You were celebrating, and there were people in the audience screaming and pointing and trying to tell you that one of the eggs had rolled off."

Gordon: Would that be Guy Fieri?
Chico: That WOULD be Guy Fieri. And he would be referring to a $50,000 egg.
Gordon: Minute to Lose it
Chico: ALMOST, you don't know.
Gordon: I hate to see someone lose their eggs. It's just like someone who lost their nuts or who had their banana nibbled off prematurely.
Chico: That's the show! Goodnight... Blake Duplant is the returning player, and his $50,000 game is "Egg Roll". He had to wave a pizza box at an egg and get it into a square downstage. It rolled on... he started celebrating... and then it rolled off. He had to GRAB the box... and right the course. Of course, he ended up with $125,000, so... good for him. Very good for him. Next quote?
Chico: Next...

"I would love to see Simon Cowell naked, covered in honey and dog food, going through the process of The Door. Can you imagine the ratings?"

Gordon: I thought you got over that fetish by now.
Chico: I'm seeing someone about that, actually.
Gordon: Are you in that same group with Tiger and Jesse?
Chico: Seriously, though. Who said it?
Gordon: That would be Chris Tarrant when doing media ho publicity for the UK show 'The Door'.
Chico: It's a thinly veiled jab. It's a promo piece. It's BOTH!
Gordon: Yay! Nothing screams promotion like attacking someone else for your own show. Isn't that right, Donald Trump?
Chico: Or Len Goodman (see BVN from earlier)
Gordon: Right. I don't think you have a chance of seeing Cowell on The Door though. Last one?
Chico: Last one. Oh, you're gonna love this.

"HOLY THREE STRIKES, ADAM WEST, WHAT DO WE DO NOW?!"

Gordon: Sounds like a Drew Carey quote.
Chico: .... *nods head*
Gordon: On the April Fool's Edition of TPIR
Chico: ... no. You're close. It's not Drew Carey... It's...
Gordon: Rich Fields?
Chico: YES!
Gordon: Should have known that one.
Chico: He's got a new video out where he drives the Batmobile while Adam West plays the TPIR iPod game... and accidentally blows up TV City. And you know something... Rich Fields... Adam West... the Saywha? graphic... this was just meant to happen.
Gordon: It was inevitable, like fate.
Chico: Like a commercial. Inevitable.: Like fate. BTW, here's the video.


Gordon: You know what else is inevitable?
Chico: A commercial?
Gordon: Yep. After that we'll look into the not-so-inevitable.
Chico: Yeah... The future.

(Brought to you by the Mimi Bobeck Executive Office Collection. All you need are car horns, out of shape male models, and 500 name tages that read 'Pat'. You're at GSNN for only $69.95.)

Chico: Plus tax, shipping, and handling... Offer good in 49 states... SORRY, TENNESSEE!
Gordon: Poor Tennessee. But to make up for it, you could you volunteer to go first in What If?
Chico: Good use of the nickname, sir.
Gordon: I try :D

What if "Minute to Win It" moved from Sunday to Wednesday permanently?

Gordon: Then this happens to Mercy:



Chico: Do we have a comparative study here?
Gordon: No, but the fact that they yanked the repeats of the show should signal lack of confidence in the show.
Chico: After they killed it.. then renewed it...
Gordon: something like that. Next one...

What if...the judges use their save on Siobhan Magnus next week?

Chico: I think... as good as she is... it would be a waste. I mean, she's good... but she won't win. That's like saying "We think Matt Giraud is going to win"... Wait, they did do that, didn't they?
Gordon: I think you can safely do it at this point of the competition and not worry about a favorite leaving. But once again, I hate the idea of the judges Save.
Chico: I want to think it just gives the public the middle finger, you know?
Gordon: I do know. The show needed to make improvements. This was not one of them. Next one?
Chico: Next one...

What if "Dancing with the Stars" beats "American Idol" to take the season?

Chico: Because you know, they have the charts at the end of the season to see what the #1 show truly is.
Gordon: Then Idol, without Cowell (who will be on The X-Factor next year) should quit before tanking next season.
Chico: Agreed. And this is a very real possibility, with DWTS beating AI in viewers this week, albeit by yeah much.
Gordon: Keep in mind it's not head to head, and I think it will be interesting to see what DWTS will be on Week #3.
Chico: Yes it will.
Gordon: But you do have the perfect storm here. A strong crop or stars vs. a weak crop of idolists.
Chico: I'll go perfect storm.
Gordon: Looks like it. Next one...

What if...The Winners of the First 6 seasons of Top Chef competed on Top Chef Masters?

Chico: Then not one of them win. It gives the others a little push.
Gordon: You don't give any of them a shot?
Chico: And on this show... a little push is all you need. It's a very competitive show. I love it.
Gordon: You do have some of the failed chefs in Season 1 of Masters returning.
Chico: That's going to be interesting.
Gordon: I'd personally love to see a Top Chef All Star Series, just to see how much these people progressed, instead of a one shot. Invite back the Top 4 on each series. That would be 'huuuuge'
Chico: Thank you, Mr. Trump. Next one.
Gordon: That's you.

Speaking of, what if The Celebrity Apprentice wasn't just a glorified popularity contest?

Gordon: You mean The Donald actually firing the right people?
Chico: Right
Gordon: Then it would be a much stronger show. I actually think the solution is what the show should have done to begin with - rotate bosses around.
Chico: No, it's my show! It's yoooooge. Like my hair.
Gordon: His hair is yuuuuuge alright. I mean sure Mark Cuban had a dumb show, but I would have loved to have seen his Apprentice Challenges.
Gordon: or Jerry West, Bill Gates,etc.
Chico: And that's why Undercover Boss is the #1 new show this season. Just throwing that out there.
Gordon: exactly. Because they mix it up.
Chico: Different bosses... #1. Same boss... running joke.
Gordon: Agreed. Just a thought, Mr. burnett.
Chico: And finally, G?
Gordon: Last one...

What if...Duke WINS the National Men's Basketball championship on Monday?

Chico: Then they'll only need two more to catch up to UNC. WHAT?! I GOTCHOO, BABY!
Gordon: I just hope they win so I can torment Chico next week.
Chico: And how's that different from any OTHER week?
Gordon: ....good point.
Chico: You know i have a friend who's a fan of both Dook AND the Red Sux?
Gordon: But it would be like The Red Sox winning the pennant, wouldn't it?
Chico: It would be EXACTLY like the Red Sox winning the pennant. Do you have any idea how ANNOYING that would be?
Gordon: If I was in Boston, it would be quite annoying. Though I do specifically remember being mailed a set of North Carolina Sweatshirts last year after UNC won the title.
Chico: :-) I sent you TPIR eps as well.
Gordon: Yes you did.
Chico: Don't forget those.
Gordon: I still watch those.
Chico: Good job. Do you watch commercials?
Gordon: I do. Shall we watch one more?
Chico: Yes we shall. Speed Round after this.

(Brought to you by Quizzer Who. A time traveling game show host takes his big board around space and time and regenerates into a survivalist, a comedian, a womanizer, and... another game show host.)

Chico: ... not in that order. ... I hearted last Thursday's Jeopardy!.
Gordon: I noticed. Do you heart a Speed Round?
Chico: I heart a Speed Round. I'd heart to start it... NOW!
Gordon: Speed Round Starts...NOW! Survivor: WHo doesn't survive?
Chico: JT for the Heroes, Coach for the Villains.
Gordon: Yes and yes. Idol: Can anything stop Tim Urban from leaving?
Chico: Katie sucking royally. She will not. Bye Tim.
Gordon: I don't think so either, but I think Aaron better show up next week. DWTS: Can Pamela Anderson survive?
Chico: If Buzz Freaking Aldrin can survive, I'm sure Pam Anderson has no problem... That said... I'm still hoping for Aiden Huh? to go bye bye.
Gordon: I think Aiden Who needs to get some good scores, cause I think Pamela will get a bounce back. Race: Who leaves our TV set next?
Chico: I think intertube engineers Brent & Caite get their wish and Carol & Brandy go away.
Gordon: I agree. The ladies were saved by some really bad play. Can they get lucky again? Are we lucky to get email?
Chico: Got some from Lee Hubbard.

Gordon: Sounds accurate, but I defer to Chico.
Chico: Thanks, Lee, that would make sense becase it's the last week of the regular season. It's the last Friday in May... But you know, things have gone either way. Jeopardy! and Wheel have extended their seasons well into the summer in to the past. Trivial Pursuit ended in April. So it could go either way, but if I was a betting man.. I'd go with your people, Lee. Thanks for writing! And hey Gordon! Say you want someone to write you.. What the heck would they do?
Gordon: 1. Email us at wlti@gameshownewsnet.com. 2. FInd us on YouTube, MySpace or Facebook. 3. Do NOT send us letters like this:

Chico: What's wrong with this letter? Wow! Where do I start? 1) Augustus ate Wild'n Out a while ago.
Gordon: 2. We are not connected with any game show currently on the air. 3. We can't get you on a show.
Chico: And 4... Why the heck would you give a perfect stranger your phone number?
Gordon: True. We're a bunch of pervs here.
Chico: Well... Gordon is :-)
Gordon: And with that, we end the show. Special thanks to no one in particular, as it's just me and Chico today.
Chico: *shrugs*
Gordon: Next week: More eliminations, more debuts, and a coronation of sorts. For Chico, this is Gordon Pepper, saying Game Over and Spread the Love.
Chico: :-)