March 12, 2007

Chico: It's made from the best stuff on earth. And so are the ladies.
Rob: Because Snapple Ladies are actually useful. Pussycat Dolls are 6 pseudo strippers who can't sing a good song to save their lives.
Chico: It's all about empowerment. This coming from a group that sang "Stickwitu."
Rob: And "Don't ya wish your girlfriend was a freak like me"
Chico: I don't know what a stickwitu is.... and I don't care... and apparently neither do viewers.
Gordon: Don't you wish your bottle cap was hot like me?
Don: lol
Gordon: ok. Let do some list abuse
Chico: Okay, you know how we do this, let's start here...

Jim Peck...
Al Roker...
John Ratzenberger...

Don: Substitutes?
Chico: Exactly. They're all substitutes..
Rob: God, Al Roker sucked.
Chico: Uhhhh... yeah :-) He did. Now we know why Meredith got the job. And quoting Eamonn Holmes, an unfinished list is unfinished business. Geoff Edwards... Monty Hall...
Gordon: Very good. lets try this one.

Because I want to be a Media Ho

Rob: Why you go on AI
Gordon: no

Because I want to show people I can sing
because I want to show you that vomiting is not a hindrance

Chico: Reasons why you want to be a Puttycat Doll.
Gordon: Yes
Don: Ah, I heard about the vomiting...
Chico: Medics were in the studio and everything.
Rob: Stomach Flu caused half of them to vomit.
Gordon: One of the grossest episodes in a reality show - but fun to watch
Chico: You want real vomit as a joke... Family Guy episode "Eight Simple Rules for Buying My Teenage Daughter".
Rob: I haven't watched Family Guy in months.
Gordon: Next list?
Chico: Next..

Kellie Pickler's hair...
Kellie Pickler's boobs... allegedly...
Kellie Pickler

Rob: Things that aren't real.
Chico: Bingo.
Don: lol
Gordon: lol
Chico: Also: half of the drama on 5th Grader, and almost any reality TV show.
Gordon: Katharine McPhee went to Tyra's show to reveal that her's were real. But lets be honest here. Who here as actually enjoyed Kellie for her singing?

(crickets)

Chico: Anyone? Bueller? Guess it's time for another list...
Gordon: Next!

$250,000
$500,000

Rob: Levels we won't see on 5th grader
Gordon: True, but no.

Recording Contract with P Diddy

Rob: Things Antonella Barba picked up after showing her "talent" online.
Gordon: Getting warmer, but no
Don: Offers made to Antonella?
Gordon: Still getting warmer, but no

Contract with Smashing Pumpkins
Contract to sing with Island Records to make crappy song called 'Gallery'

Chico: Offers made to any AI contestant that quit or was otherwise forced out?
Gordon: Very good, Chico. These are all offers made to Non-Idol winners.
Don: I hadn't heard of "Gallery"...
Chico: That was Mario Vazquez's one... and only hit.
Gordon: And we use 'hit' sparingly with that song.
Chico: That CD was actually stolen from my car.
Gordon: Awww
Chico: I'm not pining for it back.
Rob: lol.
Chico: To whoever stole it... Enjoy it... dumbass.
Gordon: lol
Don: lol
Gordon: Next one?
Chico: Next...

Identity...
Chain Reaction...
Bull Run...
Meredith's return to the Hot Seat...

Rob: Shows that debut next week Or come back next week with new episodes
Chico: ... we'll take it, Rob. Identity, Friday at 9. Chain Reaction and Bullrun, both Tuesday at 10.
Rob: I'll be watching Bullrun. Screw Crap Rection.
Chico: Now Chain Reaction ain't that bad all things considered. It could be worse. We could have new episodes of Starface.
Rob: I'd rather have that.
Gordon: Ew
Chico: Glutton for punishment, are we?
Rob: They messed up the Bonus Game even more.
Chico: We'll see on Tuesday.
Rob: Dylan blows, canned audience now. I expect the contestants to be just as dumb if not dumber.
Gordon: Last one...

Polar Bear
4 Sides
Cenozoic Era.

Don: Correct answers to questions on "5th Grader"?
Gordon: Very good, Don. Now - are you smarter than a 5th grader?
Rob: Yes, I got the Associates Degree to prove it.
Gordon: Whoo-hoo!
Don: I bet I am.
Chico: I only have a college degree from one of the finest public institutions of higher education in the nation.
Rob: (stuart scott) TAR HEEL!!!(/scott)
Chico: So ask me if I'm smarter than a fifth grader, I'll say.... I can fake it for TV :-)
Gordon: That same ACC College that's not going to make the Sweet 16 this year?
Rob: That's Duke.
Gordon: Stop being a brown noser, Seidelman.
Rob: Duke isn't that good anymore after J.J. Redick left. They have no Go-To Guys.
Chico: And speaking of... Gordon, what game are YOU watching?
Gordon: I'm playing .hack 2, and designing the game so that Roy Williams is on every bad guy's face :-)
Chico: Now that's just sad, Gordon.
Gordon: Sad, but entertaining
Chico: But mostly sad.
Gordon: Probably. But Carolina needs some sort of entertainment, since the Hurricanes and Panthers both suck.
Chico: Okay, time to go to break, then the Big Finish!

(Brought to you by Are You Smarter Than the Terminator? Contestants answer trivia questions alongside the governor of California)

Gordon: I put my money on the contestants
Rob: I would be, but he would just kick my ass after the show is done.
Chico: Okay, quick reminders, if you didn't need any more... New eps of Chain Reaction begin Tuesday... Bull Run premieres Tuesday... and Identity returns Friday.
Rob: Does anybody know when Bergeron will be doing Millionaire?
Chico: Oh, and Survivor and new TPIR are preempted this week for the opening round of tournament action. As for Bergeron.. no idea.
Gordon: Time for the BIG FINISH. Will we see the Double or Nothing question used on 1 Vs. 100?
Rob: Hell no.
Chico: Nope.
Don: I doubt it.
Gordon: Amazing Race - Who's next to go?
Don: I honestly don't know. I'd have said Charla & Mirna, but after seeing the preview for the next episode, I'm just not sure.
Chico: I'm going to call NEL.
Rob: Team 1 1/2 are gone.
Gordon: I'll say Teri and Ian. Idol - who's the first to go?
Rob: With any luck it's Sanjaya.
Chico: I'll go with Rob. He's been on point all day
Gordon: I think Sanjaya is backed up by Hawaii. Brandon is backed up from the north, and there's too many R&B singers. That spells trouble. 5th Grader - no Idol. What do the ratings do?
Chico: PLUNGE!
Rob: Plummet like the Oakland Raiders.
Don: Fall like a rock.
Rob: Or Duke's credibility.
Chico: Alright, enough ball handling, let's handle the mail. First up, from our own Pierre Kelly...
Gordon: Hey Pierre

Rob: I can draw several comparisons to Wintuition and 5th Grader. They both have good hosts, Classroom setting, boring as hell, lame theme music.
Chico: Thanks, Pierre.
Rob: And Both won't make it past their original season.
Chico: The game is the game and you can't really fault them for that. At least not right now. We had our say last week.
Gordon: True. Thanks for the e-mail. Next up - I'm not going to air them all out, but they are all saying the same thing -

Gordon: Chico?
Chico: I'd love to help you guys out.. Except Fox isn't talking. Your best bet is to hit up Fox's website... that failing, Craigslist.org But yeah, it seems like EVERYONE wants to be on this show. If you're a contestant, take the above route.  If you're looking to get your kid on the show as one of the class... Hope you have a good agent. Otherwise, in sh'allah, baby.
Gordon: And 1 more thing. We are NOT associated with the show. At all. DO NOT send us pictures of your children. Next one?
Chico: Next one is from Josh Johannesen... Thanks, Josh.

Chico: Well, our thoughts were illustrated in the Opening Round. So we'll just sum up and say... Great job.
Gordon: I think NBC is getting better at hiding the results. They are very good at it on 1 vs. 100
Chico: Next...

Chico: I think the east coast has gotten the Lucky Case game.
Gordon: We haven't had a problem on the East Coast
Chico: Next point..

Chico: No problem, Josh. BTW, they... and I... stole it from the first Harry Potter book. They use it to talk about the banker. I use it talk about my ex-girlfriend.
Rob: I use it to talk about my Beginning Broadcasting teacher.
Gordon: Thank you, letter writer who must not be....oh you already named him =P
Chico: yeah. And next...

Chico: I'll go for variety.
Rob: I'm going to say both.
Chico: It's the smile of life after all.
Rob: The variety is greatly needed, plus the graphics were looking quite old after a year of use.
Don: I kinda like the "100 Winners" format. Nice and quick, and none of that "multiple answers, but we'll only accept one" stuff.
Rob: Especially since you saw the same ones for close to a year. Oh yeah, 100 Winners is awesome.
Chico: 100 Winners is nice and quick. Gotta love that.
Rob: Where as Quiznation plods along. Especially during the - ET rounds. Where multiple answers are there, but one is correct. Also during the Top 5's. Those things can really drag the pace down to where it's boring.
Chico: And it seems like we have shows that match their hosts.
Gordon: At least 100 Winners is interesting and they actually sort of opened the budget for it
Chico: Shandi's more the chill, laid back lady... while Mel is the get the hell on with it type :-)
Rob: And I can't wait for April 2nd.
Chico: That would be season 6 for Lingo.
Gordon: Any more mail?
Chico: One more mail from our good friend Bobby McBride.

Chico: Thanks, Bobby...
Gordon: I know what the problem here is
Chico: What's the problem?
Gordon: See when Bobby thinks about the puzzle, he zaps the brain energy from the contestants. Stop doing that, Bobby. Your thinking is bad for the contestant's ability to solve the puzzle.
Chico: ha ha Ha ha HAAA.
Gordon: Seems right doesn't it?
Rob: Yeah, I'll buy that.
Don: lol
Gordon: OK. So that's it for the mail, and thats it for another show.
Chico: Our thanks to Jason Block, Don Harpwood, and Rob Seidelman as always for hanging out.
Rob: You're welcome, Chico.
Don: No prob.
Chico: Remember guys to spring your clocks forward one hour before turning in tonight if you haven't already
Gordon: Boo
Chico: Lost hour of sleep?  =p Yeah, I'd be pissed.
Rob: Me too.
Don: Ditto.
Chico: Okay, for Gordon Pepper and everyone at GSNN, I'm Chico Alexander. Until next week, game over.... and spread the love.