Game Show Newsnet

Episode 32.5 - A Big Deal
March 4

Chico: Welcome back to WLTI. Thanks for being a part of our week and allowing us to be a part of yours.
Gordon: Thanks again, and unfortunately, I'm coming down with a cold. What's your prescription?
Chico: Bed rest, copious amounts of Doctor Who, and a few Maximum Strength Capsule Reviews.
Gordon: Take 6 and call us in the morning?
Chico: It's actually five. We're being sequestered. =p
Gordon: A ha.
Chico: So let's get this started with the show I'VE been looking forward to.... Robot Combat League. Remember Real Steel?
Gordon: I do. Hated the movie.
Chico: Hugh Jackman and a fighting robot?
Gordon: Yes. I hated it. Too schmaltzy and Hollywood for me
Chico: This is a real life paralogue of that. Teams compete with life-sized fighting robots in a grand tournament to determine who will emerge triumphant in the great metal battles of the 21st century. Plus it's one step closer to Gundams.
Gordon: The Good: If you fell in love with Battlebots, you'll marry this.
Chico: Yep. And Y2J is a perfect fit with this. Part referee, part carnival barker.
Gordon: He is a nice fit in this. The set is slick.
Chico: The set is slick. The bots are badass...And it goes for the Syfy audience like crazy
Gordon: Yes. And that to me was the bad. Too slick and where Battlebots succeeded with the back story and the personality of the contestant, this one failed for me.
Chico: The contestants were blander than a 12-year-old busted Magic Mike. The one you got from your big brotehr when he was through with it. And the fights themselves were more of the rock'em sock'em robots, in that they don't make much contact as you would see in, say, the UFC, but they just wail on each other until someone starts leaking oil or something. Fun fact. Did you know George Lucas had a daughter? And even more than that, she's an MMA fighter?
Gordon: I do actually.
Chico: Cool ain't it?
Gordon: It is cool - and she showed her stuff. Unfortunately, that's where I also lost interest. Battlebots were wheeled marvels that used the whole arena. This was robot boxing.

ROBOT COMBAT LEAGUE Syfy - 10p ET Tuesdays
GORDON	CHICO	AVERAGE-O-MATIC
B	B	B

Chico: So overall, it's not as good as, say, a Face Off, but, and you said it before, if you loved Battlebots, you already have this on season pass in your DVR box. B.
Gordon: This is clearly a niche show. If you liked Real Steel, this is your baby. For me though, I wish it was more like Battlebots. B-.
Chico: Well maybe you have a passion for fashion.
Gordon: I do, sort of.
Chico: Next up is Oxygen's The Face. It's the Voice... for models!
Gordon: yay...well...no.
Chico: Elaborate, please.
Gordon: Coco Rocha, Karolina Kurkova, and Naomi Campbell select 4 models on their team. Then they eliminate them until we have a winner.
Chico: ... So it IS Top Model and The Voice doing the cross-reality-show-interspecies-horizontal cha-cha-cha. Well, if you're a fan of Top Model, you'll enjoy this.
Gordon: And it plays out like that. Nothing new to the table and the mentors are as boring as a 3 month old wedding dress.

THE FACE Oxygen - 9p ET Tuesdays
GORDON	CHICO	AVERAGE-O-MATIC
C-	D-	D+

Chico: And it's about as dated as your uncle's collection of Jet Beauties of the Month. I think this show needs to do an about face. D-.
Gordon: I won't be that mean to it because it works, just not as well as it should. C-
Chico: Right. Next batter! It's MLB's The Next Knuckler... Remember 4th & Long? Now athletes are getting to play baseball.
Gordon: I balk.
Chico: Yeah
Gordon: The concept is such that athletes - and BASEBALL PLAYERS learn the art of the knuckler from Tim Wakefield.
Chico: Not every baseballer wakes up and says, "You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna host a game show." So here we have five ringers.... and Doug Flutie.
Gordon: There's no care quota, and unless you're a baseball pitcher, you won't understand half the stuff that's on the screen.
Chico: It doesn't really demystify the art of the mound. So unless you're really inside baseball, Jim Williams, you're going to be lost.
Gordon: If anything it just confuses it, almost like the show doesn't want to give anything out.
Chico: One of those shows that you almost have to air in lieu of actual coverage, because there isn't any.

THE NEXT KNUCKLER MLB - 10p ET Tuesdays
GORDON	CHICO	AVERAGE-O-MATIC
D	D	D

Gordon: A knuckleball has no rhyme nor reason, and neither does this show - except for showing us that athletes that currently aren't in the spotlight can still find a haven for a paycheck. D-
Chico: It would've been a good idea had you made it a little more inclusive. D. Next up.... Ultimate Soldier Challenge. Instead of renewing Top Shot, History gives us armies going at it against each other in another round of simulated war games. I would've taken my chances with another season of Top shot. This reminds me of other shows that have gone this way of thought.. more recently Stars Earn Suck...er, Stripes.
Gordon: Well it is better than Stars Earn Sucks. I do like the whole history aspect of the show.
Chico: Yes, but let me get on a political soap box for a moment. Take away the competition aspect. Take away the need for ratings for the male demographic. We're living in an age of seemingly endless war, and you want to turn it into a game show... SERIOUSLY!?
Gordon: As a documentary series, this works. As a game show...what Chico said.

ULTIMATE SOLDIER CHALLENGE History - 10p ET Tuesdays
GORDON	CHICO	AVERAGE-O-MATIC
D+	D+	D+

Chico: Thank you. D+
Gordon: Sounds good. D+
Chico: Gordon, take us to Canada, please.
Gordon: I never though I would say this, but the best show this week is...Big Brother. In Canada.
Chico: Do tell.
Gordon: Arisa Cox (who is a dead vocal giveaway for Julie Chen) hosts Canada's version of Big Brother, where 16 houseguests participate in challenges and do what their American counterparts do, complete with Power of Veto and live Elimination nights.

BIG BROTHER CANADA Slice - Weekly
GORDON	CHICO	AVERAGE-O-MATIC
B	B	B

Chico: So it's basically our version, Canadian flavour. So the good... it's Big Brother. The bad... It's Big Brother. It's early, so maybe a little differentiation is in the mix. But so far, it's what the box says it is. Big Brother.... in Canada. B
Gordon: The contestants, for the most part, are the same ones you'll find in the U.S. - 12 airheads and 4 of them here to play the game, and that's where your winner is coming from. B.
Chico: Yep. So that's your Reviews. We would've had six, but we got sequestered. Thanks, Congress. Next up, we go all west coast on you as we play casting director.
Gordon: That comes up next!

(Brought to you by The Brain. Quiz show greats coach a team of proteges to compete in the ultimate trivial battle royale that only ONE CAN WIN! David Madden hosts)

Chico: Hey, we've had voices, faces, and tastes. Time to bring the smart-is-sexy back. I'd like to see quiz show geniuses cultivate new quiz show geniuses. So long as I'm not coached by Colby Burnett. I'd like to look smart on TV, not cocky.
Gordon: You and your Colby fetish
Chico: Okay, forget about me. Let's talk about Hollywood.
Gordon: Well this past weekend was the debut of Celebrity Apprentice.
Chico: Good to see Claudia Jordan back on TV, but go on.
Gordon: So when the celebrities are fired, where do they go?
Chico: ... Celebrity Wife Swap? Why stop now?
Gordon: We won't. We are going to find a place for displaced Celebrity Apprentice stars as we Welcome them to Hollywood. Starting with...

Evictee #1 Bret Michaels.

Chico: He'd probably make a better AI judge than, say... Nicki Minaj (even IF she's gotten better)
Gordon: I think The X Factor, with lots of vacancies, needs him more
Chico: Yeah, but you see where I'm going with this. He's a judge. He needs to judge.
Gordon: He does. Sort of like the next person...

Piers Morgan. Fine, he's not a player this season, but he still needs a home.

Chico: CNN isn't going to keep him for a while, are they?
Gordon: You seen his ratings?
Chico: Hence why I asked. Keep it in family, I guess. MSNBC.
Gordon: I'd go X-Factor again, just because they need some more UK power. Failing that, I think he could be a good Millionaire Host.
Chico: Sure, why not. He's ...Trying to think of a more diplomatic way of putting this...
Gordon: He's approaching elderly curmudgeon territory
Chico: There you are. Next?
Gordon: Next one...

Brande Roderick. She's got boobs.

Chico: We've seen'em. She has boobs... Mario Lopez needs a puppet... X Factor!
Gordon: We're just sending everyone to X Factor, aren't we?
Chico: They need help. They really do.
Gordon: That being said, I don't disagree with yo. However, I think Survivor needs a bouncy castaway with boobs. It worked for Lisa Welchel.
Chico: Castaway, yes. Boobs, yes. Bouncy... well, I'd say more perky.
Gordon: Nothing wrong with perky
Chico: No sir. Next?
Gordon: Next one...

Gary Busey. No, he doesn't fit on X Factor.

Chico: I'm not sure he fits anywhere on this planet, so put him on Face Off and turn him into an alien.
Gordon: I'd like to see him as a panelist on Canada's Match Game
Chico: He's wily enough.
Gordon: He is. Or demented enough
Chico: Yep. Next?
Gordon: Next one -

Dennis Rodman. Have fun with that.

Chico: Yeah. I heard what he did. How about we send him to North Korea and let him stay there.
Gordon: Any game shows airing from North Korea?
Chico: Should it matter?
Gordon: Yes.
Chico: Oh.
Gordon: He could bring some Star Power to Dancing with the Stars - or a reason to stay awake on The Next Great Knuckler
Chico: If MLB brings it back. But Dancing... well, could be the shot in the arm the show needs.
Gordon: It could be. Last one...

Omarosa. Weeeee.

Chico: IF ANYONE needed to go Dancing, It's Omarosamanigaultstaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallworth.
Gordon: I think she needs to be on the new show called 'The BedChico-ler'.
Chico: You suck, G.
Gordon: I'd watch :)
Chico: I bet you would. I bet you'd also cast the thing.
Gordon: As a matter of fact....WATCH THIS!
Chico: Oh boy.

(Brought to you by The BedChicoler. 25 game show women come across the way to bed Chico Alexander, but only the med tech's heart knows what he wants. Will it be Lanisha? Omarosa? Lisa Welchel? Cyberlucy? Tammy Whammette? Lady Bunny? WHo knows?)

Chico: Who's Lady Bunny?

Chico: .... no.
Gordon: She's on Rupaul's Drag Race. You'll love her.
Chico: Before I go kill Gordon again...err, get into the Speed Round again... if you like WLTI, you can listen to us ranting for free using Stitcher Radio. Download it for free at the App Store, Google Play, and at the Amazon Appstore. Go to Stitcher.com now to download before Lady Bunny has her way with me.
Gordon: Yes. We're just as fun when you listen to us. Speed Round starts...now! Survivor: Do we see a medtech evaluation?
Chico: Yes we do. The fans lose another one, and Shamar finally goes.
Gordon: Do we see one on Dancing With the Stars?
Chico: Dancing? Not yet.
Gordon: Do we see one on The Amazing Race?
Chico: Oh boy. I think we do. I think we see a big game changing move.
Gordon: I agree. You see what I did there?
Chico: I see what you did there.
Gordon: Do we see any mail?
Chico: Better. We see a tweet @wltiongsnn. This is about "The Job".

@wltiongsnn

“

Game Show Garbage
How many reality shows has CBS pulled in the past 10 years due to really low ratings?

”

Chico: Let's see... Secret Talents of the Stars...The Will....
Gordon: Actually, not many
Chico: The number of CBS reality shows that were pulled you could count on one hand.
Gordon: The Will and Pirate Master (though they both finished their runs online) So only Secret Talents of the Stars got yanked and never finished its run.
Chico: Right. Then there was Password, which skewed too old for CBS' liking.
Gordon: But it finished their run of episodes.
Chico: Yep. So there you go.
Gordon: I'm sure we'll see The Job during the Summer
Chico: Where it does anyone no harm. That's gonna do it for us here. Remember... wlti@gameshownewsnet.com for all your probing game show questions... or you can find us on Facebook... or Twitter... or iTunes... or Stitcher. Next week... How about some scouting for you?
Chico: We'll find out if we're tougher than "Are You Tougher Than a Boy Scout". That's next week. For this week... he's Gordon, I'm Chico... and before we leave...we have to say hello to the NEWEST member of the GSNN family...

Chico: Brynn Regan DiGeorge. Say hello to the internet.
Gordon: Awwwww
Chico: For Gordon... Little Brynn here... and everyone at GSNN, I'm Chico Alexander... game over... and spread the love. :-)