Episode 32.4 - Heroes & Zeroes
Jason: (writes answer down)
Gordon: (writes answer down)
Chico: Okay, answers please
Jason: BLANK CHECK
Gordon: I have...BLANK SLATE (BUZZ)
Chico: No date for you. Welcome back to WLTI. Thanks for being a part of our
week and allowing us to be a part of yours. Who wants a cheap plug?
Jason: I do!
Chico: If you like WLTI Live, our audio version of the big show, you can now
access it via the Stitcher app. Go to Stitcher.com to download it for free!
much is that?
Chico: That's right. You can also search the App store or Google Play for
Stitcher. And now, Gordon Pepper will translate that for the non-web inclined.
Gordon: Go to Google play. Go to stitcher. Download our programs.
Chico: That's some good translating
Gordon: Chico will send you a pony.
Chico: I will.
Gordon: Translation: He won't.
Chico: Heh. Now it's time for our version of the English to English dictionary.
We call it Read Between the Lines. First up: This is from the story about
"Each week players will use a variety of crime scene investigation techniques to
meticulously uncover evidence that will ultimately reveal who among them is the
killer." - Anthony Zuiker
Chico: Translation: it's CSI meets the Mole.
Gordon: Translation: And we're going to hope that none of you remember 'Murder'
or 'Murder in Smalltown X'
Jason: Translation: Let's hope they forget Take the Money and Run!
Gordon: Next one...
Because YOU demanded it, Jeff Probst's new co-host , from Survivor and TheFacts
of Life...Lisa Whelchel!
Jason: Translation: Rat meet sinking ship.
Chico: Translation: Ricki Lake is gone, America. I don't want to join her.
Gordon: Translation: We'll throw in Blair, Tootie, Jo and Mrs. garrett also if
more of you will watch our show.
Chico: There it is. Next...
Nigella Lawson on "The Taste" is the voice of the home cook
Jason: Translation: Home cook if you are a stuck up Brit. :)
Chico: With nice hoo-hahs. Translation: We need someone hot and British
Gordon: Translation: Nigella Lawson couldn't taste a good recipe if they put her
tongue on a rack and slathered it with Marcel's magic foam, so we'll call her a
home cook judge and hope no one else notices.
Chico: I can't top that.
Gordon: Next one. This is from Amy Introcaso-Davis of GSN..
MINUTE TO WIN IT is a buzzy, addictive and social media-friendly show and we are
excited to be producing 40 new hour-long episodes,
Jason: Translation: It's cheap and we got it. :)
Chico: Translation: You wanted more of this? Come get you some.
Gordon: Translation: We'll give some more show, and because I can stick
Supercoin in every episode, we'll make sure no one comes close to our budget for
Jason: Gordon wins again.
Melissa Peterman on "Bet on Your Baby". "As someone who likes funny, there is no
one more naturally hilarious and fun to watch than a toddler."
Jason: Translation: Let's abuse children and hope people forget My Little Genius
Gordon: Translation: You all loved Honey Boo Boo and her deranged family. You'll
watch this because the same group of people have the same intelligence as the
stuff Honey Boo Boo ingests.
Chico: Translation: No one remembers Baby Races...
Gordon: I want to forget that show. Last one...
We have more cities than ever before for Top Chef Season 11 auditions!
Chico: Translation: we have more drama!
Jason: Translation: we need more dramatic instead of chefs who can cook.
Gordon: Translation: So 2 seasons ago we had Paul Qui destroy everyone, and then
we had to bring back 3 veteran chefs because the ones we have were as bland as
unseasoned risotto - so yeah, we need a greater net.
Chico: Not bad
Gordon: Go to our website for the dates and places to audition.
Chico: Not bad at all. Now that you're done translating, let's see how you are
at matchmaking after this.
Gordon: And now...watch this!
(Brought to you by Pros Vs. Snows. Can you beat Shaquille
O'Neal in a shovelling competition? What about Danica Patrick in a Snowblower
race? The world will be watching...)
Chico: Sounds cold. Cold meaning good
Gordon: It's chill. Just like the sound of sunrise over a crying, freezing baby.
Chico: Somebody get him a blanket
Jason: (swaddles baby in blankets)
Gordon: And we have a NEW GAME!
Chico: What do we have?
Gordon: This is Called...
Chico: That sounds familiar
Gordon: Here's how it works. I'll give you a 'Bachelor' and 3 people. You tell
me which one would be the best fit. For example...
The Bachelor is Who Wants to be a Millionaire. your Bachelors are Tim Vincent,
Cedric the Entertainer and Regis Philbin. Who's the best choice?
Chico: Regis. Hands down
Jason: My choice is Regis!
Gordon: The heart wants Regis. HOWEVER, I'd like to see what Cedric can do. I
think he can add the Steve Harvey touch and make the show less academic in feel
- which in this case, is a good thing.
Chico: We shall soon see. I'm cautiously optimistic.
Gordon: Next one, Chico?
Chico: Next one...
The Bachelorette is Nely Galan, creator of "The Celebrity Swan". Yes, there is
one. The bachelorettes of choice That chick from Joanie Loves Chachi, that chick
from Small Wonder, or that chick with the leather jacket from the Facts of Life.
Gordon: I'll go with Small Wonder, because she needs a break back into the
Jason: Agreed...she needs the break
Chico: Make it three
Gordon: Next one...
The Bachelor is Francesca Hogi, because as the first one voted out last time,
she's really going to need an ally. Her choices are John Cochran, Brandon Hantz
and Malcolm Freberg.
Jason: Give me Cochran.
Chico: He's a good clutch player.
Jason: So is Cochran
Gordon: I'm going to go a different route here.
Chico: Of course
Gordon: Brandon is a loose cannon but he's loyal, which means he's not going to
backstab you. Hence hes a good ally. I'll say align with him.
Chico: Fair enough. next...
Drew Carey needs a play or die chick... Bachelorettes: Nene Leakes, Sharon
Osbourne, and Demi Lovato. Whos's gonna give this game a bang for the buck?
Jason: Sharon Osbourne. :)
Chico: Sharon. She's company, and she's a fan.
Gordon: Nene. She's emotional and outspoken. She'll be far and away the best
Jason: Nene is going to be nutty
Gordon: Hence, the entertainment value.
Chico: No one picks Demi, who's of the age where she would watch the show when
she's home sick. Or is it just us.
Jason: Just us.
Gordon: Next one...
The Bachelor: The Biggest Loser Contestants. They can select their own trainer.
Bob, Dolvett or Jillian. Who do you choose?
Jason: Bob. Fair but tough
Gordon: Jillian. Show me the money
Chico: Dolvett. He's a good motivator. I need motivation.
Gordon: Money is good enough for me. Jillian's record on the show is 8-1.
Chico: Can't argue with that. Give the trainers one thing, they're all
concentrated on end product
Gordon: I agree. They are all good. Last one, Chico?
Chico: Last one.
Bachelor: you, Joe Reality Fan. Bachelorettes: Detectives, Hookers, Babies.
Chico: Three shows coming this summer.
Jason: I would go with the detectives
Chico: Whodunnit, Bet on Your Baby, and Top Hooker
Gordon: I would go with Hookers - BUT I know that the hookers are fishermen. So
I'll go with the detectives and get ready for a pandering show.
Chico: Oh, it's pandering all right.
Chico: Right now, we'll pander to a commercial. Speed Round is next. Hang on!
(Brought to you by The Odd Job. Who is the biggest James Bond
Baddie of them all? 16 bond villians fight in a no holds barred brawl in the
snow. Much better than Moonraker.)
Jason: Auric Goldfinger
Chico: But not as good as Skyfall.
Gordon: I'll take Jaws
Chico: I'll take Oddjob. I like the hat. It's killer.
Gordon: I like a Speed Round starting...now! Jeopardy: We all agree Nilai Wins?
Gordon: Women on Idol this week. Will we care?
Jason: I think so.
Chico: Slightly more than the men.
Gordon: I think it's a forced production care.
Chico: Do we see a million dollar question next week on Millionaire?
Jason: I say yes.
Gordon: It's sweeps, so maybe. Anyone win the Million on Wheel of Fortune?
Chico: Nope. Any mail?
Gordon: None here. By you?
Chico: Nope. But they can send some at email@example.com or they can
leave us some love on Facebook/wlti.gsnn. or on Twitter @wltiongsnn. And that's
going to do it for us here. Jason Block, thank you and stay warm.
Jason: I will. Thank you.
Chico: Gordon, thank you and stay warm. Next week, we return to some semblance
of normal, which includes yet another podcast :-)
Gordon: We'll get to that next week. As for this week, this is Gordon Pepper,
saying game Over and Spread the Love.