October 26, 2004
Are the orgasmic screams included?
Chico:Act now, and you get head-explodeys! "You're
going to Sheboygan!"
(head explodey) We're back on the season premiere of
WLTI, and we continue with
the new with a new game in honor of Pedro Martinez...
Gordon: Well, we have nothing exploding on our next
segment, but we do have
a new game called WHO'S YOUR DADDY! The concept is
simple. We're going to have
a list of people and you're going to rank them, pending
on who you think is
better. For example, if the list is game show
contestants, Ken Jennings would
be everyone's daddy.
Chico: Gordon hopes :-) Anything to get a hand on sweet
Gordon: He's your daddy too.
Chico: Better my daddy than your butt-boy. Anyway,
today's topic, please.
Gordon: The round is - Game Show Villains. I am going to
list the villains,
and you rank them. First Villain....A Whammy!
Chico: Nyah, ah AH! Points if you know what THAT laugh
Gordon: Snidely Whiplash. Gimme my points.
Chico: Actually, it was the villain of Beany & Cecil...
The 1988 cartoon.
Gordon: Well, Snidely had that laugh too. Second Villain
- Jon Dalton. Who's
Chico: Jon Dalton can lie and cheat, but the Whammy
steals, and since
possession is 9/10 of the law, The Whammy is the Daddy.
Gordon: ok - so right now it's Whammy, Jon Dalton. Next
Villain - The
Overbid. Breaker of many person's dreams. Who's The
Chico: This one is tough, because it's so dastardly.
Like the Whammy, and
unlike Jonny Fairplay, it just won't go away.... But
playing the possession angle
again, The Overbid is the daddy and Jon is the baby...
Gordon: Ok - Next Villain. Oma. Rosa. Now rank them.
Who's the Daddy?
Chico: Another villain who just won't go away... No
matter how hard I try...
Well, she has delusions of grandeur, but being the
centered guy I am, it's up
to me to put her in her proper place... right under the
Gordon: So Omorosa is Johhny's Mommy? Err, Who's Your
Chico: I'm dizzy now... Next enemy.
Gordon: Next up - this could be a toughie...
Stone/Stanley Productions! Are
they the big daddy?
Chico: Yes. Yes, yes, yes.
Gordon: Stone/Stanley is the whammies daddy, eh?
Chico: They lied in saying that something was dead. They
cheated to get it
back, and then they stole 3 hours of my time.
Gordon: That's the big three, all right. Stone/Stanley,
Omarosa, Johnny Fairplay. Next one... Richard Hatch, the
king Reality villain that
put Survivor on the Map - who's the big bad daddy?
Chico: Let's see... lying, manipulating, being oh so
clever about it.
Whipping out his ween inappropriately... This one's
hard. Under Omarosa. He's big and
bad, but not quite annoying enough.
Gordon: Omarosa is the queen reality mommy?
Chico: She'd like to think so.
Gordon: Stone/Stanley, Whammy, Overbid, Omorosa, Richard
Fairplay. Final one - The BOSTON RED SOX! Who's the
biggest villain now?
Chico: Still Stone/Stanley... Still the Whammy. Jonny
Fairplay could finally
get someone to play with. Let's put'em at the bottom
Gordon: Is Jason Hernandez were here, he'd beg to
differ, but here's your
final list... Stone/Stanley, Whammy, Overbid, Omarosa,
Richard Hatch, Johnny Fairplay, Boston Red Sox. By the way, my list.. Stone
Stanley has done some good
stuff, so they aren't all the way up there, while I
despise Boston. Still no one
can beat a whammy. Here's my list...The Whammy, Boston
Red Sox, Richard Hatch,
Overbid, Johnny Fairplay, Stonee/Stanley, Omarosa. The
Stone/Stanley Productions are the daddies! What sort of
kid would they produce?
Chico: JD Roberto. With an exploding head. Blood and
brains everywhere. How
appropriate for the Halloween show.
Gordon: Well, we now have something that explodes! Let's
see what the
advertisers have to offer...
to you by New Press Your Luck - Exploding Expansion.
J.D. Roberto hosts the show where you can blow up a
whammy - or they can blow up your money! Rated M for
Chico: Someone's been watching Life of Ricky WAY too
much to make THAT joke.
Gordon: What's Life of Ricky?
Chico: Well, put it to you this way, you remember
pre-Jon Stewart Daily Show?
Chico: You remember the five questions clip that
looked like a crossbreed between a Troma film and a camp
Asian kung-fu classic? That was from Life of Ricky, or
Riki-Oh, as it was called in Japan.
Gordon: Ohhhh - ok. Got it. Exploding to the BIG
Chico: Okay, last Apprentice saw the end of the
mouth from the... north,
Stacy the Leprechaun. Way overdue, you think?
Gordon: Well, I thought that there were still people
who should have left
before her - but not Wes or Andy. Trump - again - makes
the right choice. Who's next?
Chico: I think Maria's way overdue as well. How
about Survivor? Rory looked like a goner, but was
spared? Personally, I'm ready to see Ami walk the plank,
Gordon: I wouldn't mind seeing her - but she's not
going anywhere. She moved herself into a great spot
where Scout or Rory is expendable. The woman who's doing
even better is Twila, who may have moved in to replace
John K., leaving him and Julie vulnerable. Twila is
going to press the issue to get John K. eliminated next.
What about the Biggest Loser?
Chico: Might be a winner, if we can stay the course.
Gordon: Who's the next person not to see a main
Chico: Hard to tell. We're still a little level, I
think. But if I were to
choose one... Maybe Aaron, who isn't ready to believe
yet, I don't think.
Gordon: I think David is next. Last week we had
mail. Do we have any mail
Chico: Yes we do... And lookie here, it's from a fan
Unfortunately, Gordon, it's not female.
Hi Gordon, I just saw:
"The CPA's no longer have Gretchen Weiss or... STEVE
ALTES??????? Oh, the agony!!!! Chico, I can't do this
anymore. I think we can no longer do the Dodgeball
recaps due to Steve's absence on the show and we need to
erect a shrine in Steve's memory. I am too distraught to
Too funny! Thanks for the plug! Steve Altes.
Gordon: Steve is my Game Show Hussy. Thank you Steve
for the wonderful note. I don't know how I can continue
to recap the show without you... but I'll try. I'm
getting all weepy.
Chico: Then I guess we better close up shop for the
week. As always, you can send love our way via our
e-mail address, which is... surprise, surprise,
Gordon... a toast... to the third season...
Gordon: A toast *clink*
Chico: For Gordon and everyone here at Game Show
Newsnet, I'm Chico
Alexander. Don't forget to tip your waitresses or else
it will be... game over. Thank you.... and good night.