Gordon: Are the orgasmic screams included?
Chico:Act now, and you get head-explodeys! "You're going to Sheboygan!" (head explodey) We're back on the season premiere of WLTI, and we continue with the new with a new game in honor of Pedro Martinez...
Gordon: Well, we have nothing exploding on our next segment, but we do have a new game called WHO'S YOUR DADDY! The concept is simple. We're going to have a list of people and you're going to rank them, pending on who you think is better. For example, if the list is game show contestants, Ken Jennings would be everyone's daddy.
Chico: Gordon hopes :-) Anything to get a hand on sweet coin.
Gordon: He's your daddy too.
Chico: Better my daddy than your butt-boy. Anyway, today's topic, please.
Gordon: The round is - Game Show Villains. I am going to list the villains,
and you rank them. First Villain....A Whammy!
Chico: Nyah, ah AH! Points if you know what THAT laugh came from.
Gordon: Snidely Whiplash. Gimme my points.
Chico: Actually, it was the villain of Beany & Cecil... The 1988 cartoon.
Gordon: Well, Snidely had that laugh too. Second Villain - Jon Dalton. Who's the Daddy?
Chico: Jon Dalton can lie and cheat, but the Whammy steals, and since
possession is 9/10 of the law, The Whammy is the Daddy.
Gordon: ok - so right now it's Whammy, Jon Dalton. Next Villain - The
Overbid. Breaker of many person's dreams. Who's The Daddy?
Chico: This one is tough, because it's so dastardly. Like the Whammy, and
unlike Jonny Fairplay, it just won't go away.... But playing the possession angle again, The Overbid is the daddy and Jon is the baby... still.
Gordon: Ok - Next Villain. Oma. Rosa. Now rank them. Who's the Daddy?
Chico: Another villain who just won't go away... No matter how hard I try...  Well, she has delusions of grandeur, but being the centered guy I am, it's up to me to put her in her proper place... right under the overbid.
Gordon: So Omorosa is Johhny's Mommy? Err, Who's Your Mommy, Johnny?
Chico: I'm dizzy now... Next enemy.
Gordon: Next up - this could be a toughie... Stone/Stanley Productions! Are they the big daddy?
Chico: Yes. Yes, yes, yes.
Gordon: Stone/Stanley is the whammies daddy, eh?
Chico: They lied in saying that something was dead. They cheated to get it
back, and then they stole 3 hours of my time.
Gordon: That's the big three, all right. Stone/Stanley, Whammy, Overbid,
Omarosa, Johnny Fairplay. Next one... Richard Hatch, the king Reality villain that put Survivor on the Map - who's the big bad daddy?
Chico: Let's see... lying, manipulating, being oh so clever about it.
Whipping out his ween inappropriately... This one's hard. Under Omarosa. He's big and bad, but not quite annoying enough.
Gordon: Omarosa is the queen reality mommy?
Chico: She'd like to think so.
Gordon: Stone/Stanley, Whammy, Overbid, Omorosa, Richard Hatch, Johnny Fairplay. Final one - The BOSTON RED SOX! Who's the biggest villain now?
Chico: Still Stone/Stanley... Still the Whammy. Jonny Fairplay could finally
get someone to play with. Let's put'em at the bottom rung, eh?
Gordon: Is Jason Hernandez were here, he'd beg to differ, but here's your
final list... Stone/Stanley, Whammy, Overbid, Omarosa, Richard Hatch, Johnny Fairplay, Boston Red Sox. By the way, my list.. Stone Stanley has done some good stuff, so they aren't all the way up there, while I despise Boston. Still no one can beat a whammy. Here's my list...The Whammy, Boston Red Sox, Richard Hatch, Overbid, Johnny Fairplay, Stonee/Stanley, Omarosa. The Whammy and Stone/Stanley Productions are the daddies! What sort of kid would they produce?
Chico: JD Roberto. With an exploding head. Blood and brains everywhere. How appropriate for the Halloween show.
Gordon: Well, we now have something that explodes! Let's see what the
advertisers have to offer...

(Brought to you by New Press Your Luck - Exploding Expansion. J.D. Roberto hosts the show where you can blow up a whammy - or they can blow up your money! Rated M for
exploding heads)

Chico: Someone's been watching Life of Ricky WAY too much to make THAT joke.
Gordon: What's Life of Ricky?
Chico: Well, put it to you this way, you remember pre-Jon Stewart Daily Show?
Gordon: Yes.
Chico: You remember the five questions clip that looked like a crossbreed between a Troma film and a camp Asian kung-fu classic? That was from Life of Ricky, or Riki-Oh, as it was called in Japan.
Gordon: Ohhhh - ok. Got it. Exploding to the BIG FINISH!
Chico: Okay, last Apprentice saw the end of the mouth from the... north,
Stacy the Leprechaun. Way overdue, you think?
Gordon: Well, I thought that there were still people who should have left
before her - but not Wes or Andy. Trump - again - makes the right choice. Who's next?
Chico: I think Maria's way overdue as well. How about Survivor? Rory looked like a goner, but was spared? Personally, I'm ready to see Ami walk the plank, arrrr...
Gordon: I wouldn't mind seeing her - but she's not going anywhere. She moved herself into a great spot where Scout or Rory is expendable. The woman who's doing even better is Twila, who may have moved in to replace John K., leaving him and Julie vulnerable. Twila is going to press the issue to get John K. eliminated next. What about the Biggest Loser?
Chico: Might be a winner, if we can stay the course.
Gordon: Who's the next person not to see a main course?
Chico: Hard to tell. We're still a little level, I think. But if I were to
choose one... Maybe Aaron, who isn't ready to believe yet, I don't think.
Gordon: I think David is next. Last week we had mail. Do we have any mail
this week?
Chico: Yes we do... And lookie here, it's from a fan of yours...
Unfortunately, Gordon, it's not female.

Hi Gordon, I just saw:

"The CPA's no longer have Gretchen Weiss or... STEVE ALTES??????? Oh, the agony!!!! Chico, I can't do this anymore. I think we can no longer do the Dodgeball recaps due to Steve's absence on the show and we need to erect a shrine in Steve's memory. I am too distraught to go on."

Too funny! Thanks for the plug! Steve Altes.

Gordon: Steve is my Game Show Hussy. Thank you Steve for the wonderful note. I don't know how I can continue to recap the show without you... but I'll try. I'm getting all weepy.
Chico: Then I guess we better close up shop for the week. As always, you can send love our way via our e-mail address, which is... surprise, surprise, WLTI@gameshownewsnet.com. Gordon... a toast... to the third season...
Gordon: A toast *clink*
Chico: For Gordon and everyone here at Game Show Newsnet, I'm Chico
Alexander. Don't forget to tip your waitresses or else it will be... game over. Thank you.... and good night.