October 26, 2004
--- SPOILER BEGINS!
Standard text messaging rates do apply ---
Gordon: According to the New York Post, Ken Jennings
reign of terror ends on
November 9. According to the schedule, though, Kids week
is this week, which
would put his exit on November 16.
Chico: Wait, I have yet another wrinkle...
Gordon: In addition, our spy says that Ken leaves on
November 30th, which
means that there's going to be another 2 week tournament
somewhere in there.
Chico: That would be the wrinkle. In November is the
Gordon: So... you heard it here first. KEN JENNINGS LAST
DAY IS ON NOVEMBER
Chico: And if we're wrong, well, it wouldn't be the
Gordon: But if we're right, do you think we're going to
get any credit for it?
Chico: My guess... No. Some other site run by some other
guy will probably
get it to the masses.. Unless you have some evil
connection to the masses...
Gordon: By the way, we said this OVER A MONTH ago that
his last day was
Chico: I have the clip... Roll it, Earl.
Jason Hernandez: It's through the sweeps, as Ken's last day
will be November
30th. On the VERY next episode, there is a category
devoted to "December 1st"
Gordon: And there you have it. Does anyone check us?
Chico: How conveeeeenient.
Gordon: If any journalist uses this, all we want is A
CREDIT! Thank you.
Chico: Strangely enough, Ken was quoted on an early show
as saying that some
media outlets have thrown out date after date, and so
far, none of it has come
to pass. Of course some could be charged to a lengthy
threatening to take away every single penny...
Gordon: That would do it. But then, why say anything at
all and look like a
Chico: I think it's a little too late for looking like a
moron. Granted, it's
only in front of 200 some people, but in November, it'll
be in front of 8
million. At LEAST.
Gordon: Well, this isn't the only problem the TV media
has created. A few weeks ago in the Apprentice ...
Chico: Hold on... Have to turn the red siren light off.
--- SPOILER ENDS --
Chico: Okay, you were saying?
Gordon: Well, this isn't the only problem the TV media
has created. A few
weeks ago in the Apprentice, Jennifer Crisafulli got
fired by The Donald. Right
after that, Jennifer C. got fired for real, due to her
actions and what she
said on the show. Is that fair that you wages should be
judged by show editing?
Chico: Well, the manly man thing to do would've been to
about it face to face. Then if it was indeed true, take
an appropriate action.
Here's a little-known but widely suspect fact about
reality TV... Only a small
percentage of it is rooted in reality.
Gordon: Nooooooo... Really?
Gordon: Wow. Seriously, unless there was something going
on at Jen's company,
what they did to her was completely uncalled for. I
would never want my
future controlled by 2 or 3 people who are much more
interested in creating a
compelling story than worrying about my future.
Chico: Well, we only heard one side. In fact, if I can
bring up the Big
Honking Board right now...Interestingly enough, that's
one of the main "Signs
You've Left Reality for... Reality".
Gordon: Start us off.
Chico: Well, we saw one sign: you've become increasingly
second sign: all your media has been raided, purified,
and cut off. You never
see these people watch TV or listen to the radio.
Gordon: Sort of hard to do that in the middle of your
own tropical island.
Chico: True... But in the middle of New York City? Third
sign: There's always
something to do... unless of course, there isn't. A
little known fact about
Survivor: aside from challenges, scheming, tribals, and
everything that goes on
on the show, it gets rather boring.
Gordon: There are no pelicans in this series - not much
wildlife to play
with. At least on the Apprentice there is a basketball
Chico: Think about it. You have to literally chop off
144 man-hours into one.
What do you suppose happens in those 143 hours?
Gordon: So far, based on the Insider reports.... no.
Chico: Figured as much...
Gordon: The next one - the people that you see are now
whittled down to a
bunch of 12-16, with mostly 20 something white guy
model types, a few women (at least a blonde that looks
like she's from the Swedish Bikini Team), one or two
minorities and usually, a gay guy.
Chico: That's what I call your cross-section of America!
Gordon: But you wouldn't be there, because they people
that are there aren't
Chico: Or at least aren't there for LONG. See Camacho,
Gordon: Besides Mario in The Benefactor, name me one
Chico: I can't. I know there's at least one on Next
Great Champ, but like
most intelligentsia, I don't watch it.
Gordon: Well, there's also Roberto in King of the Jungle
2, as well.
Chico: Oh wait. I got one. I got TWO. Oswald and Danny from Amazing Race. Latino AND
Gordon: But were they there because they were Latino -
or because they were
gay? Or because they were both?
Chico: Two subsets for the price of one! And finally,
the one sure sign that
you've left your plane for someone else's... There's
usually a smarmy guy
living next door with a product placement in hand.
Gordon: Hi Chico. Want a Pepsi?
Chico: Why sure! You have some Pringles to go with that?
Gordon: Sorry I only eat my Pringles with BEER!
Chico: But seriously, product placement is nothing new
in the game show
world. Anyone who's even seen Quiz Show knows this, as
Geritol figured heavily into
the plot... and into the show within a show, Twenty-One.
Gordon: Not to mention all of the early game shows -
back then, the sponsor's
name was even in the title of the show.
Chico: But it seems like it's a little MORE blatant
nowadays. Most of the new
shows, Shop Til You Drop comes to mind, have become
masters of the craft of
name dropping, that is.
Gordon: Blame it on TIVO. If you are going to eliminate
the commercials, the
only way for people to see the product is in the show
themselves. Call it the
advertisers reinventing advertising.
Chico: Amazing you mention that. You know what's on my
Gordon: What is on your Tivo?
Chico: Aside from half of BBC America and Adult Swim,
last week's ep of The
Gordon: Switching to the Benefactor, we see why ABC
stuck the show where half
of America couldn't see it - because if they did, then
they would have seen
the biggest ethic violation this side of Texas.
Chico: Trying not to make the obvious joke.
Gordon: Make it.
Chico: No, I'm not gonna! You can't make me... You're
gonna have to do this =p
Gordon: Unlike the Republicans, who are carrying ethic
violations on the
other side of Texas.
Chico: That kid's gonna make it! Anyway, yes I did see
it. And yes I did know
what was happening to Dominic, but in the end of last
week, you kinda had a
feeling. After all, this is a guy who has a control room
in his house. At least
Gordon: Well, I made the joke, you tell everyone the
Chico: I just did. Mark wanted the five to pair up into
teams of two, leaving
out one to be eliminated explicitly. That one, by virtue
of a game of Jenga,
being Dominic. Lesser beings would think that this would
be an early exit, but
it's off-kilter so the game was changing a bit. You
could pick up on it. Nine
times out of ten in an elimination contest, if you think
you're leaving, and
you're edited as thinking that you're leaving, then
you're not. Ask Rory...
Gordon: According to Mark AND ABC, that person is
leaving the show - and all
of a sudden, now that Dominic is the person leaving,
Mark changes his mind.
Chico: That much I remember. Well, it's his show. Why
not? Sure it's not
fair, but hey, life happens. And so does cancellation.
As the Cuban is trimmed
down to six, meaning that this Monday is the last show.
Gordon: And based on what I saw from Cuban in terms of
changing the rules
midstream, the cancellation is well-deserved.
Chico: That and declining ratings.
Gordon: I think the declining ratings are from what I
sense as a game with no
rules. My biggest fear is that Cuban will change the
rules when he didn't
like what was going on. Unfortunately, my fears are
realized and it's not as much
of a "who can pass his rules of success" as to "who can
brown-nose him more
and grovel for him" - and frankly, it's sickening to
Chico: Not true. Spencer, who perhaps has smelled the
most ass so far, has
Gordon: Yeah - but Mark, in the last episode, told him
he was on the bubble,
and we all knew since he loves Dominic that Spencer's
days were numbered. But
back to Mark. Are you offended by what he did?
Chico: To be successful, you have to be a hypocrite..
Yeah, you could say I'm
Gordon: I'm offended by the fact that this drivel made
the air. But let's talk
about the newer stuff on the air and see if it's any
Chico: Which brings us to shows that have yet had a
chance to suck, as
they've just started.
Gordon: Where do we start?
Chico: My favorite of the new crop over the past two
weeks... Of course,
Celebrity Blackjack. Seems like GSN is going whole hog
on the things that work.
Gordon: Sounds good to me - I like things that work -
and the show does work
- as well as Extreme Dodgeball 2
Chico: Although it DID take a threat of a 70mph heater
to get you to watch
after the CPA match. Let's call a spade a spade here. There's loyal, there's obsessed,
and then there's you. :-)
Gordon: Well, Steve Altes is another Game Show Hussy -
but I'll get over it.
What do you think about - THE BIGGEST LOSER???
Chico: Well, 22 million people can't be wrong.
Gordon: But are you one of them?
Chico: And hey, it's motivational. It's one of those
rare gems that foregoes
drama for actual accomplishment... At least to start.
And by drama, I mean
Gordon: Well, I like it so far, but I want originality
in my shows. If it's
going to have health tips and ways to do this stuff at
home, I'm all for it.
If it's going to turn into another Survivor clone with
vote-outs by group and
nothing else, then the audience will be disappearing as
quickly as the weight.
Finally, She's A Lady. Is it a Diamond in Drag? Or just
Chico: Men in dreg. I think that says it all.
Gordon: A dreg of a show, eh? Well, being that Outback
Jack scored some good
ratings, this could find an audience... I have no clue
what sort of audience,
Chico: Show me the kind that'll watch anything! *CLANG!*
Gordon: Uh... that's us.
Chico: Yeah, but we're supposed to figuratively.
Gordon: We we each represent 100,000 viewers.
Chico: I want a recount. And speaking of which, you know
what we have after
the break? Numbers!
Gordon: We'll get Chico's recount at the break, and then
afterwards we find
out who everyone's daddy is.
Chico: This is WLTI, the equal-time warehouse for game
show fandom, I ain't
finish talking yet!... Unless you're 21, drinking's bad! Okay, now I'm finished.
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