October 8, 2005
Chico: Consume without delay.
Jason: Hi there.
Chico: We're back, we lost a Joe (who reminds you to spread the love), and we
welcome a Brian (who reminds you to spread the love).
Gordon: We say goodbye to Joe Van Ginkel, but hello to Brian W. Moore as we
continue the show. Hi Brian.
Brian: Hello again!
Chico: Before we continue, anything on your mind, Brian? That you just want to
get out there?
Brian: Nope, things are fine.
Chico: you cool?
Brian: I'm cool.
Chico: He cool.
Gordon: Cool as the other side of the pillow.
Brian: Okay, well I missed a majority of the third season of Stump the Schwab.
Gordon: Who didn't?
Brian: They broadcasted those episodes at unspecified times as they didn't show
up on my on-screen digital cable guide. That's kind of shady, don't you think?
Chico: You think? Let's go right into happy fun time. You know, I just got We
Love Katamari the other day. For those that don't know, it's a sequel to the
best-selling PS2 game Katamari Damacy, which involves rolling small stuff until
you can roll bigger stuff. Just the other day, I managed to roll up a deserted
island. Now I want to roll up people to populate it.
Jason: One of my favs.
Chico: Anyway, I got six spaces for my new island. Who wants to help me populate
Brian: I want to!
Jason: I do! I do!
Don: Sure, why not?
Gordon: Hola! That's Hello in Spanish. Si! That's yes in Spanish =)
We'll start with Survivor. We've got Gary, who's lying to get himself ahead, and
Danni, who outed him... yet isn't believed herself. Who's better off on MY
Gordon: Hola Danni! That's Hello, Danni in Spanish. I don't know what she was
thinking - she needs to be aligning herself with him and use that info as
blackmail. For stupid gameplay, Danni gets to go.
Brian: I vote Danni.
Don: Might as well make it unanimous. Danni.
Gordon: We haven't had many attractive babes on the island - we need Danni
for...breeding purposes. =)
Chico: Again with the breeding purposes.
Gordon: You can't populate an island without breeding
Chico: Okay, Danni gets stranded on our island.
Chico: Next up...
NBC the network that greenlit the pilot for "Groundhog Date", or the dude that
thought it up in the first place?
Jason: The Dude.
Brian: I vote for The Dude.
Gordon: The Network, for also giving us Surface, The 25 million Dollar Hoax,
Average Joe 4, and a whole bunch of other unmentionables.
Chico: This is also the network, mind you, that thought that The Apprentice
Martha Stewart was a good idea.
Don: I'd like to say both, but if I can only pick one, I'd pick the dude. What
was he thinking?
Chico: Yeah. Where's DoND, man? Where'd DoND? But majority rules, and the Dude
gets to join Danni for "breeding purposes".. But really would you want him to
Gordon: Can we stick a groundhog on the island too?
Chico: Why not, I'm game.
Brian: Go for it!
Gordon: That's really kinky breeding now. Next?
Chico: While we're on the ruffled peacock, we have...
Toral, the developmentally challenged Apprentice candidate who should've been
fired, or Rebecca, the podiatrically challenged Apprentice candidate who
should've brought Toral into the boardroom into the first place.
Chico: Basic premise: the task involved putting on a Best Buy sponsored
electronics show for Seniors. Rebecca was PM that week, and she also broke her
leg. Toral was in the ER with her. However, Toral's event=planning skills were
about as fruitful as Joe's love for bad reality. The girls are both in the
boardroom, and instead of sinking Toral, Rebecca brings back Jennifer W and a
walking advertisement for volumizer mounted to Jennifer M's head.
Gordon: You can't blame Toral for not figuring out a TV. Most people can't do
that. You can, however, go after Rebecca for protecting her 'friend' and if not
for a very good speech on her half, she would have been fired - and deservedly.
Stick Rebecca on the island.
Jason: Rebecca then.
Don: Yeah, Rebecca.
Chico: She's gonna be a disaster, I can tell. So Toral... again...gets saved.
She's clearly having the best week... well, in a while. I can't finish that or
else a network lawyer's going to be on me. Next:
The Schwab somehow got off the last Deserted Island we plotted and is going
against ESPN for a place on this one. Network or network statbitch?
Brian: I'll say Network!
Jason: Network for putting him in nowheresville.
Don: I'll say Schwab.
Gordon: You have to ask me? SCHWAB! Send him back AGAIN!
Chico: Okay, we have a tie, so I will decide... without ESPN, we won't have any
more Bowling Night, so... Schwabbie... and his schwabblehead dolls. Besides,
that face is scary.
Jason: We don't lose either way.
Chico: Okay, Amazing Race time. We have one really annoying family and one
vision of dysfunction.
Do we send the Rogerses or the Paolos?
Chico: One's still in it, one's just left.
Gordon: Paolos - they need to go.
Chico: They do. Really. It's time for the obligatory open call question.
Today's assault: the cast of But Can You Sing? (Yes,I still have room for
another barb). There's model Kim Alexis, boxer Larry Holmes, Univision presenter
Myrka Dellanos, actress Bai Ling, former Soprano Joe Pantoliano, former Power
Ranger/current One Tree Hill resident Michael Copon, soap actress Morgan
Fairchild, soap actor Antonio Sabato, Jr., and Carmine Gotti of "Growing Up
Gotti". OR you can go off the board and choose host Ahmet Zappa.
Don: Tough choice.
Brian: Bai Ling.
Jason: I will choose Gotti. I am a risk taker.
Chico: Damn. You've got grapes.
Jason: I am a New Yorker. If Sliwa can do it, so can I.
Chico: You are the New Yorkiest New Yorker we know, Jason.
Don: I suppose I'll take the "off the board" choice, then.
Chico: This one goes to the OTHER singer on the panel... Gordon?
Gordon: I'm going to go with Antonio Sabato Jr. The babies on the island need
Jason: Don't give that politically correct....
Chico: They have a groundhog.
Jason: That's multi-culti enough for me.
Chico: But I have the ultimate say again, it seems. I still haven't forgiven
Ahmet Zappa for webRiot. I have for Robotica, though. But not for webRiot.
Sorry, Ahmet. Off the board, on the island. Final choice... And it's a simple
Yankees or Braves?
Gordon: You all suck.
Chico: Yankees go on our island, because our denizens need a home team to cheer
for. So to recap...
Ahmet Zappa, the Dude who created "Groundhog Date", and the Paolos go to a
Yankees game on the island, while Danni, the Schwab, and a groundhog argue about
the minutiae of the spectacle. Meanwhile, the King of All the Cosmos hoists it
up into the air and it becomes... Media Ho Star.
Chico: See, that was easy. And fun.
Gordon: Yep. Coming up next, a NEW game - which will also be fun.
Gordon: Coming back to you on the Big Show - right after this...
Don: Sounds fun.
Brian: Bring it on!
Chico: Minna daisuki WLTI. (everyone loves WLTI)
(Brought to you by We Love Calamari. Contestants have to take pieces of squid
and roll them up in a big ball. The biggest ball wins!)
HERE to continue