Chico: Consume without delay.
Brian: Hello!
Chico: Hello!
Jason: Hi there.
Chico: We're back, we lost a Joe (who reminds you to spread the love), and we welcome a Brian (who reminds you to spread the love).
Gordon: We say goodbye to Joe Van Ginkel, but hello to Brian W. Moore as we continue the show. Hi Brian.
Brian: Hello again!
Chico: Before we continue, anything on your mind, Brian? That you just want to get out there?
Brian: Nope, things are fine.
Chico: you cool?
Brian: I'm cool.
Chico: He cool.
Don: Cool.
Gordon: Cool as the other side of the pillow.
Brian: Okay, well I missed a majority of the third season of Stump the Schwab.
Gordon: Who didn't?
Don: lol
Brian: They broadcasted those episodes at unspecified times as they didn't show up on my on-screen digital cable guide. That's kind of shady, don't you think?
Chico: You think? Let's go right into happy fun time. You know, I just got We Love Katamari the other day. For those that don't know, it's a sequel to the best-selling PS2 game Katamari Damacy, which involves rolling small stuff until you can roll bigger stuff. Just the other day, I managed to roll up a deserted island. Now I want to roll up people to populate it.
Jason: One of my favs.
Chico: Anyway, I got six spaces for my new island. Who wants to help me populate it?
Brian: I want to!
Jason: I do! I do!
Don: Sure, why not?
Gordon: Hola! That's Hello in Spanish. Si! That's yes in Spanish =)

We'll start with Survivor. We've got Gary, who's lying to get himself ahead, and Danni, who outed him... yet isn't believed herself. Who's better off on MY island?

Don: Hmm...
Jason: Danni.
Gordon: Hola Danni! That's Hello, Danni in Spanish. I don't know what she was thinking - she needs to be aligning herself with him and use that info as blackmail. For stupid gameplay, Danni gets to go.
Brian: I vote Danni.
Don: Might as well make it unanimous. Danni.
Gordon: We haven't had many attractive babes on the island - we need Danni for...breeding purposes. =)
Chico: Again with the breeding purposes.
Jason: Pervert
Gordon: You can't populate an island without breeding
Chico: Okay, Danni gets stranded on our island.
Gordon: Yay!
Chico: Next up...

NBC the network that greenlit the pilot for "Groundhog Date", or the dude that thought it up in the first place?

Jason: The Dude.
Brian: I vote for The Dude.
Gordon: The Network, for also giving us Surface, The 25 million Dollar Hoax, Average Joe 4, and a whole bunch of other unmentionables.
Chico: This is also the network, mind you, that thought that The Apprentice Martha Stewart was a good idea.
Don: I'd like to say both, but if I can only pick one, I'd pick the dude. What was he thinking?
Chico: Yeah. Where's DoND, man? Where'd DoND? But majority rules, and the Dude gets to join Danni for "breeding purposes".. But really would you want him to breed?
Gordon: Can we stick a groundhog on the island too?
Chico: Why not, I'm game.
Brian: Go for it!
Gordon: That's really kinky breeding now. Next?
Chico: While we're on the ruffled peacock, we have...

Toral, the developmentally challenged Apprentice candidate who should've been fired, or Rebecca, the podiatrically challenged Apprentice candidate who should've brought Toral into the boardroom into the first place.

Chico: Basic premise: the task involved putting on a Best Buy sponsored electronics show for Seniors. Rebecca was PM that week, and she also broke her leg. Toral was in the ER with her. However, Toral's event=planning skills were about as fruitful as Joe's love for bad reality. The girls are both in the boardroom, and instead of sinking Toral, Rebecca brings back Jennifer W and a walking advertisement for volumizer mounted to Jennifer M's head.
Gordon: You can't blame Toral for not figuring out a TV. Most people can't do that. You can, however, go after Rebecca for protecting her 'friend' and if not for a very good speech on her half, she would have been fired - and deservedly. Stick Rebecca on the island.
Brian: Rebecca
Jason: Rebecca then.
Don: Yeah, Rebecca.
Chico: She's gonna be a disaster, I can tell. So Toral... again...gets saved. She's clearly having the best week... well, in a while. I can't finish that or else a network lawyer's going to be on me.  Next:

The Schwab somehow got off the last Deserted Island we plotted and is going against ESPN for a place on this one. Network or network statbitch?

Brian: I'll say Network!
Jason: Network for putting him in nowheresville.
Don: I'll say Schwab.
Gordon: You have to ask me? SCHWAB! Send him back AGAIN!
Chico: Okay, we have a tie, so I will decide... without ESPN, we won't have any more Bowling Night, so... Schwabbie... and his schwabblehead dolls. Besides, that face is scary.
Gordon: Yay!
Jason: We don't lose either way.
Chico: Okay, Amazing Race time. We have one really annoying family and one vision of dysfunction.

Do we send the Rogerses or the Paolos?

Jason: Paolos
Don: Paolos.
Chico: One's still in it, one's just left.
Brian: Paolos
Gordon: Paolos - they need to go.
Chico: They do.  Really.  It's time for the obligatory open call question.

Today's assault: the cast of But Can You Sing? (Yes,I still have room for another barb). There's model Kim Alexis, boxer Larry Holmes, Univision presenter Myrka Dellanos, actress Bai Ling, former Soprano Joe Pantoliano, former Power Ranger/current One Tree Hill resident Michael Copon, soap actress Morgan Fairchild, soap actor Antonio Sabato, Jr., and Carmine Gotti of "Growing Up Gotti". OR you can go off the board and choose host Ahmet Zappa.

Don: Tough choice.
Brian: Bai Ling.
Jason: I will choose Gotti. I am a risk taker.
Chico: Damn. You've got grapes.
Jason: I am a New Yorker. If Sliwa can do it, so can I.
Chico: You are the New Yorkiest New Yorker we know, Jason.
Don: I suppose I'll take the "off the board" choice, then.
Chico: This one goes to the OTHER singer on the panel... Gordon?
Gordon: I'm going to go with Antonio Sabato Jr. The babies on the island need multi-culturalism.
Jason: Don't give that politically correct....
Chico: They have a groundhog.
Jason: That's multi-culti enough for me.
Chico: But I have the ultimate say again, it seems. I still haven't forgiven Ahmet Zappa for webRiot. I have for Robotica, though. But not for webRiot. Sorry, Ahmet. Off the board, on the island. Final choice... And it's a simple one...

Yankees or Braves?

Brian: Yankees!
Jason: Yankees.
Don: Yankees.
Gordon: You all suck.
Chico: Yankees go on our island, because our denizens need a home team to cheer for. So to recap...

Ahmet Zappa, the Dude who created "Groundhog Date", and the Paolos go to a Yankees game on the island, while Danni, the Schwab, and a groundhog argue about the minutiae of the spectacle. Meanwhile, the King of All the Cosmos hoists it up into the air and it becomes... Media Ho Star.

Chico: See, that was easy. And fun.
Gordon: Yep. Coming up next, a NEW game - which will also be fun.
Jason: Yup.
Gordon: Coming back to you on the Big Show - right after this...
Don: Sounds fun.
Brian: Bring it on!
Chico: Minna daisuki WLTI. (everyone loves WLTI)

(Brought to you by We Love Calamari. Contestants have to take pieces of squid and roll them up in a big ball. The biggest ball wins!)

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